Stefans Top Ten Books

After our Editors put out a call for peoples top ten books, I felt inclined to answer. After picking up reading faster than then my infanthood classmates and having a (some would say) overactive imagination, I’ve always loved *cliché* escaping into books. From biographies of drug traffickers to Bible Psalms, books have always been a big part of life, so here, in no particular order, I give you my top ten. These aren’t the most intellectual books I’ve read (or in the case of A Brief History of Time…tried to read) but their the ones that had the biggest impact on me or the ones I enjoyed reading and re-reading again and again.

American Gods – Neil Gaimen
Quite possibly my favourite book. I was introduced to Neil Gaimen through ‘The Kindly Ones’, the ninth book of his award winning comic book series ‘The Sandman’. After finding out more about his work I went in search of American Gods, and I’m so happy I did. The story of how old nearly forgotten Gods survive on what little worship they can muster, American Gods is an adventure story, a study in religion, a road trip book and is full of undying love, horror, humour and suspense. In my opinion it is literary brilliance.

Blankets – Craig Thompson
This wedge of 582 page graphic novel (that’s quite a bit for a single story in the comic world) was a present from a very good friend. I lugged this heavy bastard of a book home with me, made a cup of tea and started reading….I could not put it down. Taking place over a few years in the life of author Craig Thompson, this autobiographical story is told as recounted memories of his Evangelical Christian upbringing, his first love, his sexual awakenings and his confusing coming of age. Set mainly in the mid nineties, Blankets is full of outstanding emotional artwork and nice references to awesome music (the characters all dig punk and grunge) and took me back to my own teenage years and memories. The only graphic novel I’ve read that brought tears to my eye’s but not the best introduction to the world of comics yet its still one of the best.

Nineteen Eighty-Four – George Orwell
For years I heard people talking about how amazing this book was so I thought ‘right…I really should read it’. Those people weren’t wrong. A truly sinister look into a totalitarian future (it was published in 1949) it shows a world where the government have absolute non-negotiable control over everything, including your thoughts, using the moniker Big Brother and have the ability to change history to suit there current outlook without a single question raised from the populace. Growing up in the aftermath of World War II, protagonist Winston Smith has foggy memories of his childhood and after being asked to erase information that would change history he starts to internally question the government’s motives and power. Nineteen Eighty-Four also contain the best ending of a book ever, as soon as I read the last word I was absolutely speechless. Unfortunately, I was last reading it on the way to a film set the other day and I left it behind and my mate is still looking after it for me!

Northern Lights – Philip Pullman
This is one of the best children’s books and a great way to get kids to start reading more than the Beano (is that still going?). The first in Pullmans His Dark Materials trilogy, Northern Lights, now filmed as The Golden Compass, is a proper adventure book. As a young teen I could often be found on sunny days sitting in my room reading about the friendships and adventures of Lyra Belacqua and her dæmon Pantalaimon (everyone in this parallel world has their own dæmon, as they are physical manifestations of their souls). I’m not sure why I’ve always loved fantasy stories, maybe it’s due to me not having a spiritual side, I need them as a way of escaping reality….hmmm, one to ponder.

Mort – Terry Prachett
The fourth in the huge collection of Pratchetts Discworld novels, I have read nearly all of them and loved them all, so it was difficult to choose one to put in this list, so I figured, it should be the first I read. Taking place on the impossible Discworld (a round flat world that rests on the backs of four elephants that stand on the shell of a giant turtle that swims through space!), Mort is the story of a young simple lad with no aspirations who, after the advice given by his father to become an apprentice, is taken on by Death. The nature of Death is explored in Pratchetts own humour filled way while Mort learns the ropes and tries to ignore his confusing feelings towards Deaths adopted daughter. A great addition to this shelf filling series.

American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis
This is a scary book! I find watching someone’s decent into madness so much worse than ghouls and monsters, and that is exactly what we get with Patrick Bateman. On the surface Bateman is just another 80’s stupidly rich yuppie investment banker, but we also get an in depth view of his insanity. Beginning with relatively harmless madness with just constantly checking clothing choices and holding in his anger when one of his friends has a better business card than him, Bateman deteriorates through imaging killing to committing horrific acts of violence (if you’ve read it…think back to the drainpipe and the rat *shudder*). American Psycho can sometimes be a difficult read with it constantly explaining in detail every item of clothing of every character and Batemans occasional internal rambling monologues, but seeing as the book is narrated by Patrick it is all necessary to get a complete overview of the character. If you haven’t read it, put aside a few weeks and immerse your self in madness.

Fox in Socks – Dr. Suess
Dr Suess was a genius. His non-sensical tongue twisters designed to help children learn sounds and speech patterns are some of my favourite poetry, and Fox in Socks is a collection of some of his best. I still struggle with the Tweetle Beetles but can recite the story of Luke Luck and his Duck by heart!

Yes Man – Danny Wallace
This is the most dangerous book I’ve ever read, more dangerous than Mein Kampf and more dangerous that The Anarchists Cookbook (the latter of which I’ve read), purely because while reading it you will feel compelled to say yes to anything. While reading this, a friend suggested I attend an Alpha Course, which is why I attend a church every Wednesday to join a group of Christians talk about God (as an atheist, this is annoying, boring and sliiightly maddening!) and why I am saving up for a passport to go to Hamburg, which is an absolute must as I mentioned it on twitter and Danny Wallace himself wrote back to me saying I should do it! YesMan is based upon a year of the authors life in which, after living the life of a recluse for a while, he decides to get more out of life by saying yes to any and every opportunity. A very funny tale of danger, excitement, adventure and eventual love, YesMan is a brilliant feel good book that will make you want to get more out of life. (and er, Danny, if you ever read this, I really wasn’t comparing you to Hitler in the first sentence…it’s the first dangerous book I thought of)

Born Standing Up – Steve Martin
The Jerk, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Dead Men don’t Wear Plaid, all very very funny films, but how did Steven Martin end up there? In Born Standing Up we find out about Steve’s childhood, his first job at DisneyLand, his first foray into the world of showbiz during his stint as shop assistant in a magic shop and his move into stand up comedy. A must for any fan of Steve or the surreal side of stand up (which we find out Steve was one of the pioneers of).

Factotum – Charles Bukowski
I had been out drinking with some friends, my mate let me crash on his settee, and in my insomniatic drunken stupor I fumbled about after everyone had gone to bed looking for something to do. I stumbled across a book and decided it would probably help me get to sleep if I read something. Factotum didn’t help, it kept me awake till morning. Written about Bukowski’s alter ego Henri Chinaski, we see the life of an alcoholic, constantly unemployed writer who cant get anything published even though he knows his work is much better than what is being released. Through half-hearted relationships and his need for cheap wine, Henri’s tale is heart-breaking in a ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ way and a compelling, involving book written by someone with a mastery of words.

The World Cup; A Celt's Thoughts {Ceri's Column}

Well, we didn’t get there again. Not only did Wales fail to get even close to the finals, but not a single Celtic nation will be at  the first World Cup to be held in Africa. Nice one, assholes.

But I’m used to it and…well, see…I do love the World Cup, y’know. I really do. I know what you’re thinking: “Ceri? That’s Welsh, innit? Why the hell would YOU enjoy the World Cup? Wales haven’t been in it since the 50’s!” well, I assume that’s what you’re thinking because the rest of the piece hinges on it.

Firstly, SHUT UP I KNOW! I’m more a rugby fan anyway.

Secondly, being an impartial viewer really does heighten my enjoyment of the tournament! No, seriously!  All you flag of St. George waving, lager swilling Eng-er-landers can happily cheer along your team but the other games tend to be a formality to watch. I’ve heard many a glib utterance of (things along the lines of) – “Ooh look, Portugal’s out” from some England fan or another. Oh Yeah? That’s HUGE, you pillock!

Every team is a possible villain or hero for me! I do usually pick a team before the tournament commences, but it invariably changes after the group stages. (Last time I was all “Yeah! Go Ireland!” and was chanting “Forza Azzuri” by the end…I was supporting Italy, asshole.)

This year, Argentina is my team. Partly due to the small yet significant Welsh-speaking population living in Patagonia. Partly due to my 3rd favourite sporting moment being Maradonna’s “Hand  of God” ;-)

(after Gareth Edward’s try for the Barbarians vs New Zealand and Wales’ 2005 Six Nations Grand Slam.)

But my backing of the Argies is mainly due to Lionel Messi. God this guy is crazy-style awesome.

So, what the fuck do you want now? My tip to win? Easy, it’s the same as everyone else’s. Spain. What? Why are you still staring at the screen? What do you expect? Oh! Shit, you want me to say good luck? As in, to England! Ugh. Well….<exhales>….here goes.

Good luck…um…chaps…lads…fellas…uh…is that ok? Cool.

Oh and before I forget, if DO you win, don’t spend the next 50 years gloating. K?

Shit, I’m going to regret wishing you lot good luck now…

Stefans TV Picks: 24th May 2010

Monday 24th
Ignoring the annoying script and its bum-numbing runtime, Titanic did give us the pairing of Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, a pair able to convey the feeling of adventure and love in an otherwise pretty mediocre movie. We get to see this partnership once again on Sky Movies Drama and Romance at 22.10 in Revolutionary Road. Join the Wheelers in 1950’s suburban America as boredom and a failing marriage start to take over their façade of a perfect happy home life. Winslets performance is absolutely worthy of her Golden Globe win and Oscar Nomination, she acts everyone off the screen in her flawless portrayal of housewife April as she struggles to keep up the appearance of doting wife and mother while the desire to escape gnaws away within. If you can’t be in to see it, set it to record, you won’t be sorry.

Tuesday 25th
Hmmm, Tuesdays….I’m not sure what happens on Tuesdays but there’s never anything on that really says WATCH ME WATCH ME! So once again I shall resort to my favourite hobby, watching films, and once again I shall turn to Sky Movies Drama and Romance for Once, playing at 16:45 and again at 23:30. If you do take my advice and watch this, have a box of tissues ready, I unashamedly admit to crying every time I watch this film about the growing relationship between Czech immigrant girl (played by Marketa Irglova…if your anything like me, you’ll fall in love with her a lil bit) and Irish busker boy (Glen Hansard). With an outstanding original soundtrack, mostly written by Hansard and Irglova, Once is one of those films that make you so happy and really sad at the same time. A masterpiece of independent cinema.

Wednesday 26th
I’m finding it difficult to suggest anything this week that isn’t movie related, I mean today on Sky 1 at 20:00…Dogs in Frocks (yes its exactly what it suggests) or the tedious Justin Lee Collins ranting and raving in his ‘wacky’ way about trying to enter the Eurovision Song Contest (Eurovision, Channel 5, 22:00) I cant think of any reason to watch these and I’m not a fan of repeating recommendations like The Big Bang Theory at 23:05 on Channel 4 (although everyone should defiantly watch this), so back to movie related programmes it is. Today it’s thanks go to ITV. The National Movie Awards at 20:00 will bring us glitz, glamour, beautiful people and a sneaky peek at the much anticipated (by me anyway) Toy Story 3.

Thursday 27th
BBC2, 19:00, The Culture Show…A-HA I hear you cry, in a week of movie related Picks you are choosing a TV show, but await dear Reader; I am merely suggesting this programme due to one of its segments. In today’s episode, as well as delving into the history of Westminster Abbeys gargoyles, a visit to the funny folk at The Onion and a preview of the new Mostyn gallery in Wales which promise to be pretty interesting, Mark Kermode and Miranda Sawyer debate the choice between Movies and Theatre. I’ll be backing Kermode!

Friday 28
Lost…..I’ve never watched a single one episode, but apparently it finishing and it’s a big momentous thing, my Lost Fanboy friends would probably tell me off for not saying it so Sky 1 from 20:00 onwards sit back and watch the two and a half hour double episode finale that’ll answer all the questions that need to be answered, maybe after I can continue in a conversation instead of it turning to ‘oooo what’s the smoke monster about?’ ‘What about that polar bear?’ ‘What’s down the hole?’ ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN ON?’ and maybe where on earth the folk on the island got access to toothbrushes, razors and hair products? (keeping in the movie theme…a two and a half hour episode is more than most movie runtimes, so I count it as a film)

Saturday 29th
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like The Rolling Stones, even those who say they don’t probably like their songs but don’t know it’s them playing it, which is why I’m suggesting The Stones in Exile: An Imagine Special on BBC2 at 23:10. This documentary presented by Alan Yentob chronicles the bands recording of their 1972 acclaimed record Exile on Main Street. This revealing account shows their chaotic lifestyle while taking up residence in the French Riviera after fleeing the UK for not paying taxes. Should be an interesting programme for fans and non-fans alike (and will probably have you asking the question…why are we lumbered with musicians like Justin bloody Bieber these days?)

Sunday 30th
Imagine a flat round world, now imagine that world resting on the backs of four elephants, now imagine those elephants standing on the shell of a giant turtle that swims through space….that turtle is the Great A’Tuin, and that world is the Discworld. It’s on this bizarre world that Terry Pratchetts novel (the 33rd in a series of 38) Going Postal takes place, and which has now been made into a two part series for Sky 1 and will be shown at 18:00. Magic, action and almighty cons are rife in the story of swindler Moist Von Lipwig as he takes on the job of PostMaster, in a not so much ailing as decrepit Post Office, in a bid to escape the Hangmans noose. After some disappointing previous Discworld series’ (why they cast David Jason as Rincewind still confuses me) I’m hoping they make up for it with Going Postal, casting Tamsin Grieg is a step in the right direction. As an owner of a majority of the Discworld books this is one I’m looking forward too!

TV Preview: The Seasons with Alan Titchmarsh; Autumn

I love a good wildlife documentary, If they’re done right they can be relaxing and informative at the same time. Frost Magazine were allowed a preview of ITV’s current offering ‘The Seasons’ so we can tell you all about it.
In ‘The Seasons’; gardening zen master Alan at-one-with-nature Titchmarsh takes us through the seasons and how we’re intrinsicly linked with nature.
This time round it’s Autumn. Mixing time lapse sequences and beautiful photography, The Seasons shows us something about our home country that we’ve forgotten about. As we increasingly move and expand our urban jungles, we’re actively trying to recapture our link to nature. Farmers markets and organic food are booming and we guilt trip ourselves and others into shunning advances in food technology. We’re increasingly seeking a more natural and simplistic way of life. It’s little wonder then that glorious early morning mists in seemingly mystical forests seem so appealing.
Titchmarsh walks us through Autumn explaining why we have seasons by using an electric globe and an orange ball and answering questions like why do leaves turn orange? and why do berries taste bitter after michaelmas?
He also talks about animal behaviour; covering hibernation, migration and how animals prepare for winter; which gives lots of opportunities to show us shots of adorable small mammals and woodland creatures as well as some less adorable insects and a snail in its very own stasis.
The Seasons doesn’t stop at animals and plants, it looks into how humans relation to nature, from Harvest to allotments to sustainable oyster fishing.
It’s a lot of information to cover in one hour long program which means that The Seasons touch upon a great deal of information but doesn’t go into any real depth. Still, it has some great photography. The episode concludes on visions of frosty fields and snowy countrysides which gives you a taste iof what will follow.

The Seasons: Autumn is on ITV1 on 23rd May at 7pm

Catherine Balavage's Top Ten Books.

I love reading. I have been known to read a book in a day. I also go through magazines and newspapers ferociously. At school I was actually made fun of for reading so much. I feel I got the last laugh. My top ten books are ever changing, but here is my current list. Read these books. They are amazing and will change your life. In no particular order….

“What’s left?” Nick Cohen
Nick Cohen is one of the smartest people I have ever met. I read this book long before I met him in person. Even it you do not agree with his political views, the sheer brilliance of his political argument wins you over. Nick has a brave voice and his compassion comes through in this book of his dissection of how the left lost it’s way.

“How Mumbo jumbo ruled the world.” Francis Wheen.
I am guilty of bulk buying this book and giving it as Christmas presents. Not only is this a great book, but I get the sense that Mr Wheen has a very good bullshit detector.

“ Midnight’s Children.” Salman Rushdie.
Fun, beautiful, erudite. Hard to choose just one of his books but I love this for the magical realism. Salman Rushdie is known as one of the greatest writers. And with good reason.

“The Count of Monte Christo” Alexander Dumas.
A roaring adventure book. Brilliant from beginning to end. Quite an achievement considering it’s over 1,000 pages

“A Much Married Man.” Nicholas Coleridge
This is one of my favourite novels. The story is about a wealthy man who constantly re-marries, hence the title. Coleridge is an amazing writer. Constantly noticing things about his characters and their lives. Beautiful and quaint.

“The Constant Economy.” Zac Goldsmith.
Goldsmith, who was editor of The Ecologist for many years, certainly knows his stuff. Here he maps out his ideas for a “constant economy” The most readable eco book I have ever read. Brilliant stuff. Now he is a member of parliament expect a much greener government.

“ Crime and Punishment” Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
I love this book. A darkly wonderful book about a young man who commits murder without remorse or regret. It becomes a book about redemption. “A new life is not given for nothing….” I read this book and I wish I could read it in it’s original Russian.

“Lazy ways to earn a living.” Abigail Bosanka
This may seem like a random choice. I have read this book three times. The first time during a hellish holiday in Spain. It is set in Edinburgh and it about a women who is fired from her job. She is highly educated but doing odd jobs to survive and bumps into someone she used to know…It is a book full of detail, knowledge, love and chess. I was on a film set recently and saw a women reading it . We instantly became friends.

“How to lose friends and alienate people.” Toby Young.
A funny and insightful book on publishing and media. Re-read it many times. You should as well. Young is a brilliant writer. He has a social conscience so the book is more than a shallow biography.

“Lord of the rings.” J.R.R Tolkien.
I read this book when I was 13. I eagerly awaited the films for many years. Fantasy writing at it’s best.

Now you have read mine, please send your top ten books to frostmagazine@gmail.com

Film Review: Petropolis

Documentary filmmaker Peter Mettler takes an original and effective way to tell the story of the Alberta tar sands. This 45 minute documentary it told mostly visually. Shot entirely on a helicopter, it is aerial shots of oil projects that are shocking and beautiful.

The devastation looks different from above.

Canada’s tar sands are the second largest oil reserve in the world. Estimates at 174 billion barrels of oil. This area is the size of England. I recommend you see this film. Not just because it is original and visually stunning but because we must stop our dependency on the power of petroleum. The environmental devastation and damage to the health of any breathing thing in the vicinity is not worth the price. At the Q & A afterwards it was revealed that birds have to be scared of from landing near the tar sands as they get sick and die.

In light of the current problems with the BP oil spill this film is more relevant than ever. Well done to Greenpeace, ( who funded and produced the film in Canada ) Dogwoof and the Co-operative for funding such a brave and shocking film.

To find out more about the film go to www.petropolis-film.com.
To find out more about Tar Sands go to www.toxicfuels.com

Elephant Parade

As an animal lover I can barely contain my glee at the 250 elephants that have sprouted up all around London. Far from just pretty artwork – no, not real elephants! – they are to raise awareness of the Asian Elephant that is threatened with extinction. In the past 100 years, the elephant population in Asia has shrunk by 90%. In another 30 years, it could easily vanish altogether.

It is a social enterprise founded by father and son Mike and Marc Spits. The benefits of the Elephant Parade are donated to the Elephant Family, the largest elephant charity in the world.

Mark Shands is the founding trustee of Elephant Family. The preferred charity of The Elephant Parade. It is the only charity just for the Asian Elephants.  The Elephant Family Patrons are Sir Evelyn de Rothschild, Goldie Hawn, Sir George Martin CBE, Duchess of York, Tanaz Dizadj, Priya, and Cyrus Vandrevala.

The Elephant Parade took pace in other capitals of Europe in previous years. Happily, it is not London’s turn.  All elephants will be auctioned to raise money for this charity.

These “objets d’art” will be enhancing the London scene between 22 April – 14 June. If you pop down Carnaby Street there is even a gallery.

To donate, volunteer or to find out more – go here: http://www.elephantfamily.org/

Stefan Reviews: Four Lions

Chris Morris has always skipped merrily down his own road of good intentions hand in hand with his friend controversy and this has led to him being both admired and detested. With shows like The Day Today and Brass Eye to his name, he has been known to tackle and take the mick out of pretty serious issues (the outstanding BrassEye Special that warned us all of a Paedogeddon springs to mind) and after his comparatively tame appearances in The IT Crowd or his Shoreditch wanker ribbing sitcom Nathan Barley his new Islamic suicide bombing comedy Four Lions certainly lives up to his ‘Media Terrorist’ label.

The film centres around five would be martyrs as they plan to show the Western World what is it is to be (in their ill conceived notion filled minds) a true follower of Islam. It’s easy to feel hatred for someone who would take the lives of innocent people in the name of a belief, but somehow, while the Lions are plotting a horrific event and along with all the laughs, sympathy washes over you from the screen. The audience seem to forget what the characters true intentions are as they watch Omar (played by Riz Ahmed as the obvious brains in the group) display a happy and playful home life with his wife and son or hearing Fessal (Adeel Akhtar) speak lovingly about his dad. Although sympathetic and very funny, there is still a vein of unease running throughout Four Lions, watching parents tell their young child about the glory of martyrdom or seeing Omar knowingly brainwash his dim-witted but pleasant brother, Wej (Kayvan Novak), into ignoring his feelings and look forward to an eternity that can only be compared to the greatness of the Rubber Dinghy Rapids at Alton Towers, makes you wonder if you should really be laughing.

The same can be said for Barry (Nigel Lindsay) who comes across as being a British convert purely as release for his racism towards Jews, anything that goes wrong for him and it’s the Jews fault (even when his car breaks down he blames the Jewish parts). While still a truly horrible person, Barry brings so much humour through his ineptness, stupidity and anger when the others of the group happily insult him to his face while speaking in Urdu. As an outsider, Barry adds an element of hostility in an otherwise close knit team who are able to share jokes while planning destruction and dance along to Toploaders awful song ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ together. Using this closeness as an ongoing theme, Four Lions fails to ask the question why? Why do these young men who don’t seem to be suffering that much and are not oppressed at all want to blow themselves up. The only answer we seem to get is because of all the ‘Jews and slags an that’ but seeing as this film isn’t a political thriller it doesn’t really need to answer those questions and is happy to stay in the Secret Flat arseing about with explosives!

Judging by Morris’ past efforts Four Lions doesn’t court controversy quite as much as some expected, and would perhaps have worked better a few years ago, but it is still very very funny and should be seen before it ends its cinema run.

Four Lions is rated (15) and is still playing at most cinemas.