How to tell if your boyfriend loves you. » Frost Magazine

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Jun 15

How to tell if your boyfriend loves you.

I have something controversial to say. I don’t think men lie to women. I think men tell the truth and women lie to themselves. I know because I spent most of my dating life doing it. I have dated men I knew didn’t love me, who just saw it as a bit of fun, but I ignored all the signs because I was in love.

Unfortunately, as a women. We have to work faster than men. We can’t dilly dally in a bad relationship. There is that tick tock of our biological clock. So, with that in mind. Please read the following and if he does not love you. Find someone who does. You deserve it.

Have you met his family and friends? If you haven’t, he is not integrating you into his life. This means he sees you as temporary. Prove him right, and get a better boyfriend.

Does he refer to you as his girlfriend? What does his Facebook status say? If it says nothing, that is fine. He might just be private. If it says ‘single’. He is – so are you.

Does he tell you he doesn’t want to settle down? He isn’t lying and he won’t change his mind. Men tell the truth all the time. Listen. If you are happy for him to be Mr Right-now. That is fine. If you want to get married and settle down asap. Cut and run.

Does he always want space? It is not a good sign if he always wants space. If he wants ‘space’, give it to him. Preferably about, oh, 10 miles between you.

Body language. This is so under-rated. Most communication is not verbal at all. Learn to read your boyfriend. If he is asking cold towards you, ask yourself: ‘ Is he just having a bad time.’ If nothing is going on he may have already emotionally left the relationship. Read Joe Navarro’s book Louder Than Words: Take Your Career from Average to Exceptional with the Hidden Power of Nonverbal Intelligence Joe is an ex- FBI agent. It will save you a lot of time and pain. Not just in your relationship.

Does he look at other women? This is disrespectful. It means he does not care about you, or your feelings. He is also shopping around for other women.

Does he say ‘we’? If not, there is no ‘we’. Harsh but true.

I leave the closing words to Jennifer Garner:’I never had a problem resisting a guy I knew was going to break my heart.’

Anything to add? Comment below or send to frostmagazine@gmail.com

 

  • Charlie Kane

    I’m a man and I’ve definately lied to my significant others. I’ve lied about all sorts of things and not because i did or didn’t love them but because the truth can complicate otherwise simple situations. The truth is love is a choice, so choose to love who your with or choose to move on and if you look closely at yourself you’ve probably already made the choice. So good luck ladies!

  • http://www.whatnowglos.co.uk/member/4154/ Alma Altea

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  • http://pleasecomebackto.me Linnea Artz

    Exactly what I was thinking. Your text was unbelievable. To get your ex back is not the hardest of the accomplishments But it for sure may cost some effort

  • http://www.CatherineBalavage.com Catherine Balavage

    Hi D,

    Thank you for your comment.

    After dating someone for three years they know whether or not they love you. Why is he being evasive?

    Frankly, I think you deserve better. Ask him right out. If he doesn’t answer or avoids the question I would say that you should leave and find someone who deserves you.

    This is a very hard thing to do. It is important that you are with someone who loves you and is not just killing time. If someone loves you they let you know everyday.

    As for looking at women; if it is light window shopping I would argue that is normal. If he is leering at other women when he is with you then he does not respect you – move on.

    I hope this helps.

    Catherine.

  • D

    I need some advice, by the way Catherine thank you for your entry. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years, he has never told me he loves me, but he’s a very distant person by nature. He looks at other girls constantly it makes me feel horrible and ugly, when i tell him how i feel he tells me i am being childish and immature, but he does tell me i am beautiful. We argue alot over it. I also get the feeling that he is with me for the sake of it and that i am pressurising him into it. I cannot talk to him about it. It plays constantly on my mind, i love him dearly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. D

  • http://www.CatherineBalavage.com Catherine Balavage

    I agree with you. However, if a man is window shopping obviously in front of his girlfriend ( or vice – versa ) then I would strongly say the end it near. It i disrespectful. All signs of disrespect means you see them as temporary. There is a fine line.

  • Mark

    “Does he look at other women? This is disrespectful. It means he does not care about you, or your feelings. He is also shopping around for other women.”

    Completely untrue. Everyone looks at other people, it’s natural. Sure, if he pervs on everything that walks by, that’s different. But we all check people out, and it has no bearing on whether you love someone.

  • http://twitter.com/tweetsbytoni Toni Sciarra Poynter

    Thank you so much, Catherine.
    [and this time I spelled my own name correctly.]

  • http://www.CatherineBalavage.com Catherine Balavage

    Thank you Toni. Have added that so our readers can benefit from it and included link to buy it.

    Best

    Catherine

  • http://twitter.com/tweetsbytoni Toni Sciarra Plynter

    Good point about the importance of nonverbal communication–it’s a stream of information that’s always there, always happening, in real time. . I worked with Joe Navarro on his new book Louder Than Words (HarperBusiness), which applies nonverbal communication to the workplace–it’s changed how I deal with clients, coworkers, and even get better service. Useful for job hunting, too! I hope your readers will check it out, and thanks for highlighting the importance of nonverbal communication!