The Fat of the Land {Carl Packman}

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There is a simple reason why I predict the two taser shots received by Raoul Moat on the morning of 10 July had nothing to do with his eventual death. Not because disruptions to ones nervous system couldn’t release a spasm that would set off a trigger to an unfortunate whose gun happened to be pointed at his own head. No (although I’m sure you can find these conspiracies on Moat’s popular facebook fan page). Rather, a bit of shock therapy could shake a bit of sense into the bugger.

Subsequently, I would like to prescribe a bit of shock therapy to our health minister Andrew Lansley if he expects fatty food producers to take it upon themselves to cut salt, sugar and spice (and everything that’s nice) out of the nations food, now that the regulators are out.

With no regulation, why wouldn’t Dave Osler be right to say:

Anti-obesity campaigning in Britain will soon be brought to you courtesy of Bombay Bad Boy-flavour Pot Noodles, Snickers, Golden Wonder and Fanta. Or at least it will be, if Andrew Lansley gets his way.”

Lansley recently told food manufacturers that if they were to be nutritionally responsible then they could be spared regulation. The next week it is revealed that the Food Standards Agency is to be abolished.

This has been met with calls that government has “caved in to big business”. Either that or food manufacturers, in a week, suitably impressed Lansley that they would be culinary ethical (to coin a phrase). Although Labour health spokesman, and leadership candidate, Andy Burnham, probably hit the nail on the head when he said that: “It does raise the question whether the health secretary wants to protect the public health or promote food companies.”

The same food companies that Professor Terence Stephenson, president of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, among many other leading doctors, asked Lansley and the government to stop giving a platform to by allowing them to advertise their products during sports events, shortly after Lansley announced that manufacturers of crisps and confectionery could play a central role in the Change4Life campaign.

One of the main beneficiaries of austerity, be that the killing off of the FSA or for customer popularity, is bad foodies. McDonalds, it was reported in 2008, defied the credit crunch by recruiting 4,000 people to fill ‘McJobs’.

KFC, also back in 2008, according to one report, enjoys “strong growth as Britons are drawn towards cheaper eat-out deals in the face of the recession.”

There were gasps of horror when George Osborne announced OBR predictions of 2m more private sector jobs within five years(although how much of this should be taken at face value is questionable, with the early departure of Sir Alan Budd, whose parting gift was to say the Treasury needs more outside regulation – and he should know). The McJob could be the future; which means less unionisation, less workers rights, and an almost robotic allegiance to the French fry.

There has been one overall winner of this period of negative economic growth, and that is bad food. Unhealthy people die, so why wouldn’t our government want to cosy up to the winners. Lets just hope the public isn’t reminded that Andrew Lansley is being bankrolled by some dreaded private health firm now… (whoops).