Gran Turismo 5 by Junior Smart. {Gaming Review}

Gran Turismo 5

You can call me a bit of a cynic if you want but I always get just a tad bit worried when things are over hyped. Take my friend for instance; there we were both on the tube and he just stands there clutching his copy of Gran Turismo almost like he would a new born baby, looking at it so earnestly with love in his eyes.
“Yes…” he manages to say at last “there is a God! Heaven knows just how long I have waited for this…” In response all I can manage to do is just look at him pitifully, watching as a lonely tear rolls down his cheek before I say slowly “please man, just get a grip before I call in the Shame Squad!”

Mind you, I am sure that his response is fairly typical of many gamers around the world, Gran Turismo 5 is perhaps one of the most eagerly awaited titles since the Playstation 3’s launch almost 5 years ago and yes, gamers have been waiting that long. I remember when the first title came out on the Playstation one way back when I was in my teens. Here was a title that considered itself so good that it wasn’t just a racing game; no, it was a ‘racing simulator’. True to the hype being circulated, playing it provided an unbeatable ‘kid in a car showroom experience’, and indeed such was the sheer quality of graphics that many people rushed out and got their Playstations ‘chipped’ just so they could play the Japanese version of the game; a game I might add that they probably couldn’t even read. And guess what? If you were to ask any of them they would probably say that it was money well spent.

So here lies the critical problem with probably the longest awaited, most eagerly anticipated game of a generation – the issue of expectations. Just imagine going out to eat at a fine restaurant owned by say Gordon Ramsey. Yes you may have had to wait as long as it took to get Wagner booted off X Factor; but my gosh when that food get puts in front of you, you want it so badly and appreciate the hands that have cooked it so much that even if it comes short or doesn’t taste as nice as you expect you just accept it and brush the faults under the carpet and say ‘that was the best rabbit’s testicles I’ve ever tasted!’. Is it little wonder that all over the globe, so many reviewers have scored it 10 out of 10?

Well, no senor, I regret to inform the millions of racing enthusiast out there that it is not a 10 out of 10. I hate to say it but it is true. It is however still exceptional at what it is and that is providing a unique experience, good solid fun and breathtakingly detailed graphics.
From the start it seems that waiting is what this game is all about. After the endless teases that have come in the form of demos, screenshots and the Prologue; Gran Turismo 5 keeps up the trend from the moment you insert the disc. One of the first decisions you’ll face is whether to opt for a full install of the game’s data or get straight to the track and endure some drastically longer load times. I’d definitely recommend the full install as we found out to our peril loading happens for each menu screen you enter. But beware the install takes around 40 minutes. I found this really annoying as basically you are caught between a rock and a hard place. Owners of the older PS3’s will regret the day they bought the cheaper 40 GB machines as it takes a whopping 4GBs of space. Every time Ihad to wait I ended up looking at my PS3 and the more I had to look at it the more I thought it looked like an, erm…steak grill.
Once in the game though it is business as usual; that is race, open more tracks, race open more cars and more events etc. It is pretty formulaic stuff, but hey, if it isn’t broke don’t you dare try and fix it. For creators Polyphony, it is evident that they spent the last 5 years perfecting the detail. Take any one of Gran Turismo’s 1000+ vehicles out for a spin on the Le Man’s track at night and you will see what I mean. My mate ran out of ‘Ooohs’ and ‘Ahhhs’ and I have to admit there is an undeniable feeling of quality about the game. The reflections that glisten, the breathtaking backdrops, even the sounds of the engines come together in a beautiful entourage and are just so obviously meticulously rendered.

The original career structure of the Gran Turismo series is there, for example License tests, A-spec events, and car dealerships. There are some notable new additions as well like the B-spec Events, which give you the chance to create a team of drivers and coach them through a series of races. I thought that this would be an interesting concept but was immediately disappointed. It turns out all you can do is issue commands whilst you view from different angles. One serious question is why this is even in the game. Lets be honest the whole point of buying the game is because you want to be behind the wheel and not a spectator – if you want to watch a race you can just watch it on TV, so this is just worthless.

In contrast the Special Events are a nice touch and presents the opportunity to try out different types of events for example kart racing, which delivers incredible speed and requires different driving techniques compared to racing the regular vehicles. I found this part to be largely entertaining and a thrilling aspect to the franchise.
When it comes to handling I am pleased to report that the Gran Turismo driving experience is back. Tweaked a bit from the original, yet as fine as ever, the feel of the cars on the road is practically faultless, The trick is it knows what it is, it is a racing sim pure and simple, which means unforgiving turns, tight racing lines, acceleration balanced with brakes. The cockpit view has also been refined and whilst not as good as say Need for Speed: Shift’s cockpit view, it is still effective.

A subject of criticism lies in your competitor’s difficulty level. Early on in the game they are just a joke to be honest, however once I had increased substantially to a higher driver level, they weren’t just aggressive they became unpredictable. I understand that this is all to do with the learning curve but I think it gets ramped up too quickly, too high.

Another area of criticism lies in the much-talked-about damage modeling for the cars. I was frustrated to find that this didn’t fully come into play until later in the game and when it did it was laughable at best. When I opened the option I decided I would go all kamikaze and hit a barrier at 160mph, the result; only the bonnet and bumper was slightly damaged, I couldn’t help but think – are they kidding me? Fair enough the car manufacturers or games developers may not want to see their impressive beautiesdamaged in Hi Def but I do, and if you create an option for damage then expect it to be used. It should work and not be a downright con.

My last area of complaint lies in the faults created by the developers. For a game that took so long to complete I didn’t expect so many re-cycled tracks and that’s not the only area that lets this title down. There are some vehicles that seem to come from the GT4 era that just aren’t given the same ‘spit polish’ as the modern ones. On the track, in the heat of a race, admittedly it is difficult to tell, but close up and in replays it is obvious that their polygon count is lower and their shadows are jagged and kind of Playstation 2-esque. They just feel very ‘undeserving’ to be in this game.

So my final verdict – It is great to see the ‘racing game of excellence’ return after so many years. Yes, it is beautiful and also incredibly realised but like it or not, it does have its faults. Compared to other modern day race games I just couldn’t help but think that they could have put more into this, also it is worth noting that besides racing there is very little else to this game, to be completely honest there is only so many times a corner or a bend or another driver can be challenging, so this title is one for the enthusiasts only.

How Gwyneth got her body back. Tracey Anderson reveals all.

GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT WITH THE WOMAN BEHIND HOLLYWOOD’S HOTTEST BODIES

Gwyneth Paltrow was asked to gain 20lbs for her upcoming movie Country Strong, in which she stars as an alcoholic singer. Fitness expert and Gwyneth’s personal trainer, Tracy Anderson, had the challenge of whipping the Oscar-winning actress into shape before her high profile appearance on the Country Music Awards, so put her on a specialised routine of dance cardio and weight training.

‘For this role in country strong they had her gain weight for it. That was tough for me because we’ve worked so hard on her body. [During filming] Gwyneth went down from six days a week of training to three and she ate everything in sight,’ said Anderson*.

‘It didn’t take her very long to lose it, only took her a couple of weeks. It didn’t want to be on her anyway. Extra weight isn’t something that she owned.’

If you want a body like Gwyneth, forget so-called celebrity workouts this New Year – get straight to business and the body you want with the expert behind the most sort-after A-list figures. ITV Studios Home Entertainment presents personal trainer Tracy Anderson’s latest workout, The Tracy Anderson Method: Total Cardio Workout and offers you VIP access to the exercise secrets that transformed stars such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Courtney Cox and Shakira.

Shift the Christmas weight

http://www.shoppingblog.com/pics/gwyneth_paltrow_country_strong1.jpg

THE TRACY ANDERSON METHOD: TOTAL CARDIO WORKOUT will be available to own on DVD from 27 December from

Need for Speed – Hot Pursuit {Gaming Review}

Yes indeed this is fast love…

Playing the original on the Playstation one was a thrilling affair for me years ago, taking me back to a lost youth spending many days on the legendary coin-op machine Chase HQ. It was fun and invigorating but much more so with my friends huddled around my bedroom on the weekend – it was more than a hook up it was ‘an event’. Hearing that Hot Pursuit was to have a makeover by none other than race masters Criterion got me all worked up, it was a bit like hearing Red Rum was going to race at the Grand National.

From the get go when it comes to presentation Hot Pursuit is one hot looking piece of totty. Game developers Criterion pulled out all the stops creating this game. Visually the game stops just short of astounding. Driving the vehicles is every young boy’s dirty dream and delivers a dramatic rush of adrenaline; the environments are just so outstandingly realised, drenched in detailed vistas ranging from mountainous slopes to bridges, towns and waterfalls. Race in the daytime and akin to ‘Burnout’ the lens flare will singe your retinas. Race through the night and you will squint to pick up the road ahead through the illumination of your headlights. Race in the midst of a thundering rainstorm and you will have a hard time keeping your eyes on the road because you want to gaze upon the next crackle of lightning. In case you aren’t getting my point Hot pursuit features some of the most highly detailed graphics I have seen in an age bar the game legend that is Grand Tourismo. So good is the game engine that it not only delivers impeccable detail but it does so with the smoothness of a well whipped ice cream. No matter how fast you go or how many people are on the screen it doesn’t blur or slow down.

Although it is a part of the Need for Speed franchise Hot Pursuit is mercifully without a tedious storyline. Thank heavens too it is also without a free-roaming world. All that nonsense removed means that the entire game is based around providing the finest race and chase experience.

Choose from an incredible array of predefined events spread over Hot Pursuit’s aerial view of ‘Californ-i-a’ alike Seacrest County. Much in the same way you did in Burnout before all the free-roam lunacy took hold, you choose your events – we all know the drill; forge a career, time trials, straight forward races, cop chases, concept and exotic duels, the staple diet of most racing games are all here for the taking. Progress is achieved by finishing in the required place or by gaining the required points via take downs or arrests and as you do so more tracks open and new vehicles and equipment become available. It’s a tried and tested formula, but this time with a twist – in career mode and online Hot Pursuit splits the game play experience between both ‘Cop’ and ‘Racer’ components, meaning that you’ll play on one side or the other depending on the event you chose and build up independent driver profiles for either side of the law. This brings a refreshing variation to the game as you require different skills and tactics dependent on what side of the law you are on. For example cops must work together to shut down racers, while the racers themselves are competing for first place in a ‘dog eat dog world mentality’.

The power-up system is well judged as is the learning curve which is both rewarding and frustrating at the same time. The equipment that you receive for achieving levels of success range from spike strips that can be dropped to pop the tires of pursuers, as well as ‘fast and furious-esque’ EMPs that target vehicles just ahead of you with a system-crashing boost of energy. The power-ups that you gain in this game were never going to be able to compete with the neon fantasy of other racing titles such as ‘Blur’ or the extraordinary explosions of ‘Split-Second’ but lets face it – they weren’t supposed to. For all the fantasy that Hot Pursuit offers it is grounded in reality, and that reality is at its best when cops and weapons are involved.

Here lies my first area of criticism I found the ‘Racer’ side of the career just a little bit…erm redundant. Besides the chase modes, the head to head duels and races were just too stripped to my liking. All you get are racers, nitrous boosts and…well…that’s it, no cops no nothing. I found myself wondering if the cops were at the doughnut shop and whether I should join them because to be honest these type of races are boring compared to the rest of the game and lack any real thrill, worse still they happen far too often and go on for just a tad too long. It would have been so good to have elimination rounds, nitrous boost rounds, something, basically anything to spice these tracks up because to be frank, besides the scenery, after a while they are…well…dull.

Online modes are what takes the game to the next level and at the heart of Hot Pursuit lies a gem in the form of a superbly integrated ‘Autolog’ hub. A very ‘facebook’ like addition to a racing game and built obviously with the aim of reimbursing the social aspect of the original title. Here you can add friends, post images on your wall and set fast times that will show up on your friends logs when they play the game. You can even post news about scores that you’ve just beaten and this adds a huge competitive element to the title. Racing just got a lot more compelling.

Another serious area of criticism to be made is regarding the Artificial Intelligence level especially in the offline modes. Sometimes it goes soooo beyond the call of duty to ensure that every race is nail-bitingly close that it bends conventional rules and even laws of gravity. For example I can recall a number of races where I took competitors out of the competition by slamming them over a cliff or hitting them with a spike strip yet within seconds they were in my rear-view mirror. How does that happen? Are they driving cars designed by ‘Q’ out of James Bond? No it is not good and not possible.

I also got the feeling that this game wasn’t sure what it wanted to be, whether it wanted to be a simulation or an arcade type racer. Certainly with the effort put into the graphics you get the feeling that this was meant to be a world class racer. Compared to ‘Split-Second’ I found the steering to be too overly weighted in comparison and often you need to pull real precision tight racing lines even in the shortcuts to be successful, all this screams ‘Racing Sim’ to me. Yet there is no manual transmission option, there are police on your tail, power drifts, nitrous boosts and spike strips – this seems to say ‘arcade’. In my opinion the game fares worse for not knowing or investing completely in what it is meant to be.

My final verdict? – well don’t get me wrong, for the most part this is a thoroughly enjoyable title, full of adrenaline, action, gorgeous graphics and some show stopping sequences. However is it a 10 out of 10? Hell no, it is more like an 8.7.
In my opinion it just pinches past the post in front of its rivals but not by that much. But it must be said that this title is still a fast love that you will want to spend a lot of time with.

by Junior Smart

Oh, Big Ceri got ‘da Yuletide Blues…And he got it Baaaaad {Ceri’s Column}

Bah Humbug

Yeah, to this day I have no idea what the hell that means. Sounds cool though…plus it’s a pretty apt opener. Predictable but…bollocks I’m deconstructing my work before I’ve even started. Right, onwards….

I am an adult. I know, shit isn’t it? I didn’t think I was one. I know now, I am. Why? Fucking Christmas. I never thought I would EVER take the lord (‘s days) name in vain. Just did though.

When one starts regarding jolly old Xmas as the season of seemingly pointless spending, you’re an adult. When tinsel starts looking cheap and flammable instead of pretty and magical, you’re an adult. When shopping centre Santas seem like paedophiles, you’re an adult…an awfully presumptuous and cynical adult, but still….

 ‘Tis the ball-aching-wallet-emptying-overdraft-raping season to be grumpy. Food costs too much. Gifts cost too much. Christmas crackers? Cardboard and toys made by Cambodian orphans, (I’m sure they tried their best) – Waaaay to pricey.

So many rituals we adhere to for the year’s final month just perplexes me. Why are gifts put under an Alpine/Scandinavian/East Anglian evergreen tree? Why do we tell kids a corporate figure invented by a popular soft drink brand (*Cough* Coca-Cola *Splutter*…that doesn’t work in writing…) visits them at night depositing these often numerous gifts? Why do these stupid fucking kids believe us? Why do we hang large socks in a frankly greed-frenzied plea for even MORE gifts? Why do we hang shit on the tree? Why do we hang plastic, or if you’re middle class like me, glass orbs from the tree? Why does the reindeer, an animal that is quite obviously inferior to most mammals you can eat, play any part at all? I like jaguars; where the hell are the big cats at Xmas? Why must Santa have an army of supernatural beings at his (probably huge) house/sweatshop, slaving away all year round making upwards of 20 gifts per child for every (Northern Hemisphere based) child in the world? Kids these days want stuff you can buy at Argos, why do these elves bother? Why is he called St. Nicholas? He isn’t St. Nicholas. That was some Turkish Christian who died before William the conqueror was born…uh….I think….Yeah, feel free to correct me on that one.

I remember that I used to really adore Christmas for the first 10 or so years of my life. Then it became OK…I mean, I still got a tonne of free stuff. Now, it’s hell.

 When I was a child I left out sherry and mince pies for “Siôn Corn” (Welsh for Santa Claus…it means “John Horn”…no idea why). I also left carrots on our worryingly accessible roof for the flying reindeer. Every morning, before even caring that I’d just hit the toy-jackpot, I’d check to see if my red coat wearing idol had eaten and enjoyed my offering. He always had. One Xmas, as a personal, “Mum and Dad can be oh so funny sometimes”, semi-child-hating prank, my dad ate the offering, (Yes, Santa doesn’t exist) and left a note. It read, in Welsh of course:

“Hello Kids,

Thank you for the Tesco mince pies and the glass of sherry. But, for future reference, I like scones and 7Up more. I still left you prezzies, but next year can you try and get it right.

Merry Xmas,

Santa”

I wept. A lot. The bike I opened 25 minutes later did help assuage my weeping, but my one seemingly gigantic cock up in trying to appease the only “real” supernatural being in the world haunted me…until I worked out he wasn’t real 2 months later.

Yes, I was a cynical little bugger at the age of 7 too.

But how I worked out he was fictitious is a good story. It isn’t a funny story – just an important one. A story every child should be told at the age of 7. My painful discovery would soon become a time honoured rite of passage if every child had the event described below forced upon them. I’d be a pioneer…in dream shattering…actually, just forget I said that. Ugh

Any-fecking-way, I was watched an episode of The Simpsons, (the only TV show I’ve loved and continue to be entertained by since my early childhood). Bart had tried to catch Santa, or something. I don’t really recall the plot that well, but that’s the gist. Yeah so it turns out that Santa was actually Homer or…some other character just dressed up as old St. Nic. The utter soul-crushing devastation washed over me and drowned my childish dreams. It happened to be that I was young enough to understand that he couldn’t possibly be real. I mean, I had a relatively advanced grasp of logic for a pre-teen, (I have been raised in a family of both real and cod philosophers sprinkled with a healthy dash of teachers, dentists and I’m sure there’s a lawyer or two…God, I’m so middle-class). But it also seems I wasn’t old enough for this fact not to hurt. I’d had an inkling he can’t have been real – I used to think, “He goes to every home in one night?”, “How does he only get most and not all the gifts on my list if he’s so awesome?” and, most logically of all, “Why did the standard and number of my presents sharply increase when my dad got promoted?” But it was the knowing he didn’t exist that nearly killed me.

Now if this event became the norm, kids could get saved from this ultimate trauma.

Is this how Dr. King felt when delivering the “I have a dream” speech?

Jeez, I overstep the mark faaaaar too often. Right, eggnog latte time.

Kinect {Gaming Review}

After calling the Playstation Move controller a Wii remote look-alike, I had a sense of apprehension picking up a Playstation eye-alike from my games store. Cries of ‘Traitor’ ‘Turn coat’ and even ‘Defector’ awaited me as I picked up the Xbox Kinect system.

Whilst these words might seem a little strong and perhaps a little un-warranted, everybody knows my devotion for the Playstation 3 Console. I’ll put myself out on a limb and say what most games players know – that on paper at least – the PS3 is the most powerful console. No one can deny that; the Playstation Systems for each step of the way have rejuvenated gaming and given new meaning to the term ‘Home entertainment system’. First redefining the CD, then DVD, then the Blu-ray HD gaming medium. Who can forget that prior to that we had games cartridges and then the awful loading times of Sega Mega CD and 3DO. But I am a techie, and word on the street is that the Kinect System not only rocks but takes it to the next level. So despite devotion I just couldn’t resist booking myself a room at the Xbox hotel.

Given my love for the PS3 I soooo badly wanted to report back that the Kinect System is rubbish, that it contains crap technology and is a waste of money. The truth is whilst I found that it certainly has its faults it is a remarkable effort and offers a taste of something promising to come through its hardware.

Out of the box the Kinect System looks like a sausage squeezed Playstation eye and there are two other cameras which are reminiscent of the earlier surround sound systems of the 90’s that you arrange on either side. They work together to build up a 3D picture of the room and your position within it. The idea is that Kinect knows how close you are and that sense of depth allows it to judge things like whether your hands are behind your back, or whether you’re kicking your legs out in front or behind, for instance.

Kinect comes with its own menu system, accessible from the Xbox 360’s dashboard. Inside this menu, you are able to access all of the Kinect-compatible entertainment features that are available to you. Microsoft wanted user interactivity from the get go and it is surprising how quick and intuitive it is. The Kinect experience begins as soon as you switch on your 360 allowing you to browse even the basic features of the Xbox 360 without a controller. Holding your hand out in front of you creates a hand icon on the screen. Moving your hand the onscreen icon moves with you to select the option you desire, then to select and you hold it there for a couple of seconds until it activates it.

Another innovative use of technology lies in the Kinect’s voice control command system. Using the onboard microphone you can control your Xbox using your voice alone.
Saying “Xbox” alone is all you need to get the Xbox’s attention and its there like an eager puppy. Once said a list of commands then pops up from the top of the screen. These commands are context sensitive so for example if you’re playing music or watching a video, these commands include play, stop, or rewind. A well nice touch.

his is much the way you interact with many of the games; either by using hand gestures, voice commands or body movements to make your on-screen character move or to interact with objects, animals or characters on the screen.

So on to performance and playability. There’s no denying that there’s some fantastic technology inside Kinect. Yet as incredible as it is, shortcomings soon arise in terms of limitations. If you’re expecting to play a game and have your on-screen character do exactly as you do with your body, quickly, and completely in-time with you – you’re going to be sorely disappointed. You just can’t do that in most games. I blame the marketing for this, because in every advert I have seen it appears as if the people playing the game and their on screen characters are moving synchronously with them. The reality of this just isn’t so; in every game I have played there is lag and copious amounts of it.

Take a game such as Fighters for example. It’s a 3D Beat ’em up game where you control your fighter by performing fighting moves in real life. Now this was the game I was looking forward to the most as what it bodes for future fighting games such as Street Fighter and the like could be incredible. However I soon realized that this was a delusion of grandeur as such was the significant delay between me unleashing my punches, and them being mirrored on screen that often I completed my move in real life well before the character did so. Not good.

To be completely fair though this delay is dependent on how fast you move. A slow movement, for example those in dance games rather than shoot-em-ups, has almost no noticeable lag at all. The faster you move, the more pronounced the lag is. A real question to this lag lies in what types of games will we be expected to play. It remains to be seen if and how shooting games will emerge on this platform. As I doubt most gamers will want slow moving titles or cuddly little animal games.

Talking of games there were a whopping 12 different titles available at launch – two words: triple wow. Compare that against the paltry 6 or so games offered at the launch of the Playstation Move. Indeed Sony should be ashamed.

Another area of concern for me is with the sensor. In the marketing campaign it said that the Kinect is capable of working out up to six players movements at the same time. The reality is far less – it didn’t take much effort for me and just four of my friends to ‘confuse’ it and during our games session, we also noticed a few glitches and moments of weirdness when the sensor had lost our position or just wasn’t registering our actions. Tut-tut. This is something that should have been ironed out long before release because if this had happened in the middle of a frantic game it would have added to our frustration.

Another issue is space – fortunately for one of my friends two thirds of his ground floor is a front room, but for some on affordable housing (like me) (also known as housing bunker options) will quickly find themselves in problems. Kinect requires plenty of playing space. The instruction manual recommends having 6 feet of clear space in front of the sensor for single-player games, and a whopping 8 feet of clear space if you’re playing with two people. Yep – it’s time to move your granny out of the way at Christmas, oops and the tree, and the in-laws, oh yes and the sofa. With all honesty I cannot see the average UK bedroom being big enough to accommodate Kinect. This removes the bedroom games players out of the equation and could see people relocating the Xbox to the garden.

The last area worth covering is cost; The Kinect Sensor isn’t cheap, costing £125 on launch. It comes with a free copy of Kinect Adventures – a title with lots of mini sub-games designed to showcase the various capabilities of the Kinect system. Tut-tut Sony for just including a demo disc with your Playstation Move – Shame on you.

However, if you think of it like this – Kinect can detect up to six people in a room, and supports two active players at a time. So that £125 brings with it two-player gaming from the get go. That compares favorably to the £127 you’d have to pay for the equivalent PS Move setup (with PlayStation Eye, two Move controllers and two navigation controllers). With that in mind in a weird way it does represent value for money.

So my final verdict?

It is really hard not to like or to appreciate the Kinect system, yes there are lag issues with some games and dealing with aforementioned space issues as well which could relegate some gamers. However it is impossible to deny Microsoft really did their homework with this and have delivered a solid piece of hardware which equates to a real swift kick to the shins of Sony’s mighty Playstation console. It is sad because in my opinion without the likes of Halo and a couple of exclusives the Playstation still had the higher ground and was still the technically superior machine. However, the hardware that Kinect brings changes the game. Like it or not, faults or not, Kinect holds futuristic possibilities. My verdict is that it is an ‘innovative’ rather than an altogether ‘intuitive’ piece of technology. Keep that in mind and keep your eyes open for future games and lets see what happens. I get the feeling you won’t be disappointed.

With News Of A Royal Wedding: Amazing Wedding Venue.

News of a certain engagement today will get many thinking of their own special day and Amazing Retreats can offer a venue to make you feel like royalty! From a Scottish Castle, which has played host to many a celebrity bash, to country manor houses and even a fort in the Solent, Amazing Retreats has secluded wedding venues aplenty!

Ackergill Tower, Amazing Retreats’ flagship property, is a perfect location for a romantic wedding, overlooking clear blue sea, atop a secluded white sandy beach, combining the very best service with a stunning backdrop. The castle has played host to celebrity weddings and can offer seclusion and privacy, away from prying eyes!

With 27 individually styled bedrooms, Ackergill Tower can welcome up to 52 guests who can stay in discreet luxury, enjoying all that this unique venue offers in complete privacy. It is also easy to reach, being just five minutes from Wick Airport, which benefits from the services of two airlines, or a two hour drive through stunning countryside from Inverness, the highland capital.

Ackergill Tower from the airwedding outside Ackergillbride and bridesmaid on lawn

Helen McKenzie Smith General Manager for Ackergill Tower says: “Ackergill would be a stunning venue for the latest royal wedding, and they would be in good company! Newlyweds who have been fortunate enough to be married here leave with lingering memories of a dream wedding come true. We also work with some of the best in the business, including Stephen Seedhouse, who provided the stunning floral creations for Madonna’s wedding and when in London was florist to Princess Diana. With our experience and connections, we can help organise a stunning wedding in just over six weeks!”

If a castle isn’t to your taste then Amazing Retreats’ extensive portfolio offers smaller, intimate and unique venues to enjoy wedding receptions.

Spitbank Fort, The Solent

One mile out to sea from Portsmouth harbour, Spitbank Fort can host a party of up to 60, with 10 bedrooms for overnight stays. The Fort offers Sun decks, hot tub, gym, museum, lighthouse suite, pump house with fresh water pumped from 400 feet below the sea bed. Currently undergoing refurbishment, Spitbank will be available from August 2011, why not be one of the first to experience nautical nuptials in the Solent?

Plas Cilybebyll in South Wales

Sleeps 18 in the main house and 4 in the separate Bakehouse. Plas Cilybebyll comes complete with a luxurious indoor swimming pool, three acres of grounds and a hard tennis court.

The Mill, Bedfordshire

Sleeps 18 in 9 bedrooms in contemporary luxury. With a fully-stocked recreation room, underfloor heating, surround sound and set in six acres of riverside.

Morley Hall, Norfolk

Sleeps 10 in 5 bedrooms. A three storey Elizabethan moated house on its own garden island.

Beaucastle, Worcestershire

Sleeps 14 in 7 bedrooms. A fairy tale Arts & Crafts castle with views from the Tower across Worcestershire. Set in 12 acres of gardens with views of the Worcestershire countryside.

By Catherine Balavage

Viva ELVIS comes to Strictly Come dancing

I grew up on Elvis, decades after his death my mother is still his biggest fan. Last Sunday, direct from Las Vegas to Blackpool, the cast of Cirque du Soleil’s Viva ELVIS performed the amazing new version ‘Blue Suede Shoes’ from the Viva ELVIS album on Strictly Come Dancing. The album features 12 brand new versions of classic Elvis Presley songs, giving the King’s voice a totally contemporary backing. These songs are the soundtrack to the Cirque du Soleil’s stunning Las Vegas show, Viva ELVIS. 18 of the Cirque’s legendary acrobats and dancers gave BBC viewers an exclusive taste of the show – the first time they have performed it outside the USA.

If you loved it as much as I did, you can now buy the album. With Christmas coming up, I reckon that’s my mother sorted!

Londoners Life 5 by Phil Ryan

Londoners Life 5 – By Phil Ryan

Winter is here in London. It’s official. The clothes say it all. And right now you can clearly see the London tribes. Clear and defined. In cloth, leather and appliqué. The Hoxton and Camdenite trendies. The monied Sloane’s of Kensington. The shady street dealers of Shepherds Bush. From the ludicrously large Fur Trapper hats and skinny jeans, to the silver and gold Puffa jackets plus obligatory bling. The thigh length Cossack boots to the new Paul Smith stripy scarves. Postcodes struck in wool and leather and nylon as clearly as an assay mark. A friend once remarked that the onward march of the chain clothing store would eventually destroy all individuality in style terms. But be that as it may, just like the swallows flying south each year off to Capistrano following nature’s imperative, the winter looks are as clearly and definitively ingrained at a genetic London borough by borough level.

In Whitechapel it’s the portly types in the Primark Gangster collection crossed with JD sports sale items. In Chelsea it’s the slim model like folk in black Yves St Laurent mixed with Yamamoto. London brands its citizens by fashion and by income so very clearly at this time of year. I’m surprised it’s not on their passports – a second picture of them in full seasonal look. Oh the customs officer would say peering at the small image of them dressed head to toe in Burberry check. You’re from Stratford. Through you go.

And as certain as the winter fashions the other London winter signs are gathering pace. The chestnut sellers are back from wherever they go in the warmer weather. You’ll find them at every piazza or open space. Traditional London winter prices at about 90 pence per charcoal blackened cremated chestnut. Or to translate – £3.00 for three grudging half mouthfuls once you’ve discarded the charcoal and eaten the non burnt bits. And of course the ever perennial pre-seasonal dodgy perfume sellers. Honest guvnor’ this Calvin Klein is genuine. Just a litre for a tenner. The crowds swarming round them like hyperactive bumble bees on Ketamine. Sadly without the sense of your average drone. Stolen or not – no respectable crook is going to give four bottles of Chanel no 5 away for nothing. So come Christmas they’ll watch in baffled dismay as poor Auntie Vi’s face falls off into her soup or the smell from the bottle attracts Zombies from as far away as Peru seeking dead flesh. A little bit of Del boy mixed with Jeffrey Dahmer. Typical. You just can’t trust criminals eh?

But London’s street people are changing. The old perennials giving way to more foreign imports. From Romanian pick pocket gangs to increasingly rabid street preachers. I saw two the other day on opposite sides of the street. One a Yemeni Muslim the other an American Christian Evangelist. Both completely barking mad. Yelling weird slogans about saving us all. Finding our way to their truth. My immediate thought being what and turn into you two nut jobs?

Just like my last column I’m sure I could be missing something here though. Did they have a spiritual truth? But the answer is in fact no. I’m just not convinced my path to eternal salvation starts outside the Car Phone warehouse. With people unburdened by the pressure of sanity. Although, if it has to start somewhere for me, there has to be cakes. And in London right now there’s a new cake shop explosion. I of course refer to the new muffin places. Time was you’d be lucky to get a chocolate one. Now there’s a plethora of new places offering every type you could think of. I saw Passion Fruit and Peanut butter muffins the other day. Although, this could have just been the first day for the new guy. He’s off the medication now and his doctors are hopeful he’ll soon be able to live a normal life. Muffins I ask you. A new fashion. Who’d have thought it? £4.00 a pop or £1.50 per tiny micro mouthful. But I’ve been to five separate boroughs recently and they’ve all got these trendy looking new tea rooms. Or Café’s de The as they like to poncingly call themselves. It’s a studied look. Coolness and kitsch in one. Brushed Oak and steel benches next to pictures of polka dot pinnies and old posters of apple cheeked children at a gas stove.

Cake stands with frilly lace overhangings next to a sleek black ipod docking station. Earl Grey tea caddies next to Red Bull cans or those weird energy drinks you’ve never heard of with extract of ginko root and killer whale ears. And the people who run them? All the owners all look like successful architects with a hint of mental illness. The women. Prada meets a lady factory worker from the fifties. And the men all look like Bertie Wooster meets Karl Lagerfeld via Oxfam. The rest of the staff doe eyed eastern European beauties working for the minimum wage. Of course the word home-made figures prominently everywhere. As does organic. As do eye watering prices. But hey ho. It’s cute. It’s retro. It’s wildly overpriced. But do we mind? No. It’s a London thing.