Londoner’s Life – Overheard 39 by Phil Ryan

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I’ve had a frantic week replying to emails and finishing a writing project. But I still had three windows of opportunity to sort out another London overheard. Found myself in Hungerford in Oxford mid- week at a fancy gastro pub. And caught this brief gem from a couple sat watching a traditional looking house barge mooring by the side of a canal. Man to wife pleasantly “Look at that Miriam that’s the kind of life I could get used to” Miriam in a bored tone “I don’t think so you actually have to work quite hard to run one of those things. You are completely useless and workshy and you know it” Ouch! But here’s this week’s stolen moment from a bar at a gig in Central London:

Two Goth looking girls: Girl one “I couldn’t believe it really it’s not like I’m on Facebook that much” Girl two “So he cut you off just like that” Girl one “Yeah I know and I really liked him” Girl two “What made him turn so funny then?” Girl one “Well he saw me updating my status when we were doing it at his mum’s house” Girl two giggling “No” Girl one proudly “Well he was going at it like he does and I figured he was busy and they’ve got that wireless Infinity broadband you know the really fast one. So I replied to a couple of messages” Girl two “What while he was..” Girl one “Hm I mean it was good but sometimes I don’t feel that involved. He used to just shove away for ages and think it was good for me. But I didn’t mind that much. He was sweet really the little noises he’d make” Girl two “So what’d he say?” Girl one “Ah you know the usual it’s not you it’s me but I noticed that he changed his status that night. I mean how insensitive. I’m glad he’s gone cos I really I don’t need that kind of negative energy in my life to be honest” Girl two “So you’re with TZ now right” Girl one “Yeah he’s not that bright but he’s loyal and he’s got a car. Oh yeah and he’s got really nice legs and his bum is like really firm” They then started talking about the bands……..

I must just say at this point in case you think I just make this stuff up. I often record bits with my phone (especially in cafes) and I now carry a small pad and pen everywhere as well of course as my trusty Samsung. So although it might be not exactly the words they are very very very close. Trust me I don’t have this kind of imagination.