Londoners Life 48 – Overheard by Phil Ryan » Frost Magazine

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Dec 02

Londoners Life 48 – Overheard by Phil Ryan

One more week of stuff to do and then I’m taking December off! to do my own thing if possible. But as usual I’ve been pinging about the place so in great position to get this week’s offerings. My brief overheard phone conversation line I got from the Food Hall at Selfridges where I was waiting for a friend. I was loitering by the bakery section when I heard a woman behind me yell into her phone “There is no way I am cooking fish Simon it stinks the house out. We are having pasta and if you’re mother doesn’t like it then the old hag can go swivel!” Obviously a close and harmonious relationship there then!
Anyway here we go for this week’s Overheard.
I was at a Pan Asiatic restaurant and it was quite a noisy place so I had no problem hearing the shouted conversation to my left.
Three young women clearly celebrating one of their numbers forthcoming marriage. Girl 1: “But the office hasn’t changed at all so that’s lucky considering I thought we’d all lose our jobs” Girl 2: “Frankly I was shitting myself. I just bought my Golf and the payments aren’t great I can tell you what with Dominic not getting any bonus for the 3 months” Marriage Girl 3: “I know it really freaked me out. But according to Mr Reese our department uno one its fine. There’s no redundancies apparently and income is back on track. If I couldn’t have had my horses and coach I’d have been beside myself. Two grand to be a fairy princess it’s shocking” Girl 1: “But you’ll look so cool won’t you. It looks gorgeous. Just like Cinderella” Girl 2: (Laughing) Except she doesn’t do the cleaning and I mean any cleaning, washing or cooking” They all laugh very noisily “. Marriage Girl ”No no. I don’t. Craig knows what he’s getting into. I’m high maintenance I admit it. But he said he doesn’t care. Mind you he’s not getting me into any of those funny positions he likes anymore. Honestly I nearly cricked my back again. He’s on heat I tell you. He’s like one of those little clockwork jumping dogs and his face gets all screwed up….” They all laugh noisily again “Girl 2: You wouldn’t think it to look at him? Isn’t he an accountant?” Marriage Girl 3 (interrupting) “There’s one bit you should see. It’s like a banana every morning” They all screech now “Girl 2 “A banana?” Girl 1: “I saw him in the pool last year, Banana. More like a bunch” They all broke down screaming and after more descriptions of poor Craig I moved table.
Very upmarket but I feel sorry for Craig. No more funny positions mate!