Bah Humbug Yeah, to this day I have no idea what the hell that means. Sounds cool though…plus it’s a pretty apt opener. Predictable but…bollocks I’m deconstructing my work before I’ve even started. Right, onwards…. I am an adult. I know, shit isn’t it? I didn’t think I was one. I know now, I am. …
Category Archive: Ceri Phillips
Sep 23
Getting Baked {Ceri's Column}
When we celebrate, we eat cakes. It’s pretty damn universal. Almost every culture on the planet stakes its claim for having the best cakey offerings. It can be quite competitive. I’m shocked there hasn’t been a war over it yet. The Great Fruitcake Wars. The Eccles cake incident. The Cupcake Rebellion of 2010. That’d be …
Sep 16
The Sin of Envy…and Some Other Sins {Ceri's Column}
Man alive, that green-eyed monster is an awfully selective beast. He lives just above my cerebellum, right next door to the gnomes that run my conscience and sense of shame. He occasionally feeds on the gnomes and wotsits but mostly on the painfully huge talents of others. There’s many a person who turns me a …
Sep 09
Smut {Ceri's Column}
People-watching and eave’s dropping are things I should do more often. These border-line peeping-Tomish pastimes often yield little snippets of gold…hold on, what the fuck is a “snippet of gold”? Is that possible? Am I mixing my damn turns of phrase again… anyway; it’s a great tool for a comedy writer. I try not to …
Sep 03
The Whisky and The Unknown {Ceri's Column}
Sceptical losers like me are amongst the most easily frightened of folk. I mean, when you don’t immediately “believe” in every little unexplained or unexplored phenomena that you hear about, it is horrifying when it comes and slaps you in the gob…basically, I’m a bit of a wuss. I mean, your mind can play tricks on you. …
Aug 26
Ceri: Portrait of an Inadvertent Killer {Ceri's Column}
I killed the most beautiful butterfly today. Wow, that sentence makes my look like a soon-to-be serial killer. I didn’t mean to. It was fluttering along, maybe trying to find a new home, maybe trying to find a mate. Probably just fluttering aimlessly. The problem was, it was fluttering 1.5 meters above the M4 motorway. …
Jun 22
The Great Welsh Summer {Ceri's Column}
God damn, my country is beautiful in the Sun. It turns even more verdant than it usually is, (that’s pretty fucking green, man) the jaw-droppingly beautiful beaches shine like strips of pure gold dust and flocks of people are to be seen out and about, smiling. We have great ice cream in my neck of …
Jun 15
Team Name Shame {Ceri's Column}
Sports team’s nicknames are very funny, very rarely cool and totally unnecessary. I am a huge rugby fan but supporting my local team has become, since the change of system from domestic to regional rugby, very very difficult. I love our jerseys. I love our stadium. I love our branding. I hate our name. The …
Jun 05
Future Eater {Ceri's Column}
Now is the future. Ok, so that’s the kind of clearly logic-flouting “I’m so po-mo” statements that are barely ever uttered beyond the uber-cool confines of…I dunno…Hoxton? I don’t know where’s cool. But there is a hint of the Buck Rogers about all these World Cup themed crisps from Walkers. On eating the USA’s “American …
May 26
The World Cup; A Celt's Thoughts {Ceri's Column}
Well, we didn’t get there again. Not only did Wales fail to get even close to the finals, but not a single Celtic nation will be at the first World Cup to be held in Africa. Nice one, assholes. But I’m used to it and…well, see…I do love the World Cup, y’know. I really do. …
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