And here we have a photo of Margaret Graham, AKA Milly Adams showing the kids how it’s done on a holiday in Italy some years ago. Let’s be honest, I dye my hair, well, who wouldn’t? And the water bleaches it, and so does the sun, hence the hat, and the head up in the air, looking ridiculous, stance.

It was one of those holidays which showed clearly the demarcation between the generations and indeed the sexes, if one can even mention the sexes in this day and age. The teenagers lounged round the pool of the Italian house we’d rented, or dived elegantly into the pool.  Margaret the Mummy swam arduous lengths in a hat, hoping to chase away the galloping cellulite, whilst the teenagers refused to believe they could be related to this apparition.

Meanwhile, Dick the Daddy lingered in the kitchen, reading his electronics magazines, out of the sun entirely, and out of hearing distance of the Female Mafia.

This absenteeism was quite possibly brought about by an unfortunate episode when Margaret the Mummy was navigating around Florence (why did we drive? Why? Why? We should have flown and grabbed a taxi). Well, I say navigating when I should have said, I was supposed to be navigating. Instead I was sitting frozen in the passenger seat in a state of terror as Italian drivers swept in and out, here and there around and in front of us, all at great speed, and much honking of horns.

We reached a cross-roads. ‘Where now?’ barked Dick the Daddy.

Margaret the Mummy had forgotten all about navigating, so:

1. a) had to find the map.
2. B) the the page.
3. C) Turn said page up the right way.

All the while the cacophony of horns grew ever louder, as did the ‘What the hell are you doing?’ within the car, from him to my right, and the teenagers behind.

So, there we were, an island of Britishness amongst a sea of furious Italians. Hey, let’s take a look at that sentence again. So there I was, an island of one English woman, trying to work out where we actually were on the wretched map, while inside and out there were furious, gesticulating ‘others’..

Finally, in desperation Dick the Daddy swung the car into the curb, snatched the map without saying please. Spent half a minute looking at it, then handed the map to a teenager, and drove on without a word, while the teenager navigated.

I sulked. Said teenager muttered, ‘You’re lucky you weren’t left at the side of the road.’

Well!! Well!!

Now we are happier. Each journey doesn’t end with threats of divorce, because we have Sally the SatNav, and the teenagers have children of their own, who sit in the back of granny and gramp’s car and ignore where we’re going, because they have social media and are chasing ever more ‘friends’.

This leads me free to:

a) press the imaginary break when I feel Dick the grandpa should be doing so.

b) suggest that Dick the grandpa should just get into the boot of the car in front, and be done with it, as he’s driving so close.

c) Or drive myself, which is liberating because I can sing-along to Smooth radio only interrupted by Sally the Satnav suggesting I should have turned right, but to do so at the next turning – IF YOU PLEASE.

I do feel she shouts sometimes, but one can’t drive a SatNav to distraction, surely. Answers in writing.

Murder in the Caribbean by Robert Thorogood

This is to buy with the  book token you could buy your nearest and dearest for Chrimbo as it isn’t out til 27th December.

A bit of sunshine, and why not as the glorious golden leaves of this autumn are biting the dust as DI Richard Poole and his team set about cracking another murder after a boat explodes in the harbour. Who did it, and why leave a ruby behind at the scene of the crime? As events unfold it becomes clear that one can’t outrun the past. I love a good sunny romp, but there is enough of a dark side not to be cloying. A treat, quite frankly.

Published by HQ £7.99/ebook £2.99/audio £12.99

A Daughter’s Gift by Maggie Hope.

When Elizabeth and her four siblings are orphaned, she and her brother are sent to a children’s home; their younger sisters into foster care. Maggie is determined to make a better life for her and her brother and all seems to be more or less on track,e even when she starts work as a nurse, but does she jeopardise it all when she falls for a wounded officer? Marriage to one so far above her is out of the question and her behaviour must be above reproach if she is to retain her job. Even more stress awaits as her sister is adopted by an abusive farmer. How is Maggie to solve all these dilemmas?

A page turner of a novel set in Catherine Cookson country. Give it a try.

Ebury Press £6.99

The Christmas Sisters by the ever popular Sarah Morgan

This is one of those warm  optimistic novels which is just right for Christmas, with a cracking jacket, though there are problems in abundance as Suzanne McBride’s three daughters return for the festivities in the Scottish Highlands.  But as so often at these reunions things from the past bubble to the surface…

A warm rich story to read by the fireside, with a box of chocolates and a glass or two of wine. Enjoy.

HQ Harper Collins   £7.99

Forget my Name by J.S. Monroe

On quite a different pathway, this thriller from the bestselling author of Find Me-  which Frost also enjoyed – sometimes from behind the sofa it must be said.

Munroe cranks up the tension as ‘she’ arrives in Heathrow after a difficult week at work. All her ID has been stolen. OK, report the theft then, but  how, when she can’t remember her own name? Ah, but she can summon up her address.

But when she arrives, Tony and Laura, a young couple live there. She says it’s her home. They say they have never met her before. Who is lying?

This is the sort of nightmare we are pleased to wake from, and find ourselves still in bed. But what do you do when it’s not that sort of a nightmare. Bite your nails and read Forget my Name, or give it to someone in plain brown wrapping paper (as we’re being told to do this year) and let them sweat it out, and tell you the end.

Head of Zeus pb  £18.99

Milly Adams latest series is The Waterway Girls  – pub: Arrow

Gold

Here in the Frost Magazine office our handbags are in danger of weighting a ton, so any way to lighten the load appeals. Which is why we liked these, so take a look  – a fabulous idea for a Christmas gift, or any time, really, and reasonable enough to buy for yourself.

Twist and Spritz 8ml atomizers save carrying around your favourite 100 ml perfume bottle. Just fill, squirt, replace into your bag, and toddle along. It comes in a choice of 18 shades and at Frost we found it so easy to fill, and in an age where one wonders who actually has time to  stuff a tomato, let alone fiddle about putting perfume into a container, what’s not to like?

Pink Glitter

With this you simply remove the inner bottle from your chosen Twist & Spritz, before placing the valve over the exposed nozzle of the fragrance bottle.  Pump repeatedly until the inner bottle is full, and then replace the this back into the Twist & Spritz. You now have 8ml of fragrance, which equates to 100 sprays; guaranteed to last your whole holiday, wedding or festival.

Silver

Available in great choice of fashion-forward shades, some with a high-shine metallic finish, and slim, sleek design whilst for the fun-loving festival goer there are hero shades including purple, light pink, blue, green and red. For the discerning traveler, there are sophisticated precious metal inspired hues of polished silver, gold and trend led rose gold.

I filled mine with the relatively new perfume, Signature, which was launched in the spring.

I really like its complex scent of citrus, pepper and rhubarb, but also hints of rose, jasmine and ylang ylang add a floral flavour, with base notes of warm woods, dry amber, musk and vetiver adding an air of luxurious sophistication.

The eau de toilette, available from March in L.K.Bennett stores and lkbennett.com, is available in three sizes – 30ml (£35) 50ml (£49) and 100ml (£69); in a beautiful Art Deco-inspired glass bottle designed with iconic branding.

But do decant into your Twist and Spritz so you have some with you always.

As I said, good presents, and why not treat yourself.

Twist & Spritz RRP £10   www.thefragranceshop.co.uk

Yes, you’ve guessed it – another Agatha Raisin has hit the bookstands – temporarily because they’re already flying right off again.

So it is celebration time in the Frost office, and much unseemly elbowing to be the first to read it, and I WON.

Agatha Raisin and the Dead Ringer:  The team of bells at St. Ethelred church is the pride and glory of the idyllic Cotswold village of Thirk Magna, together with the most dedicated bell ringers in the whole of England: the twins Mavis and Millicent Dupin.

As the village gets ready for the Bishop’s visit, the twins get over-excited at the prospect of ringing the special peal of bells created for the occasion and start bullying the other bell ringers, forcing them to rehearse and rehearse… until Joseph Kennell, a retired lawyer does the inevitable – snaps and shrieks that he feels like killing them.

But does he? Well…

Someone broke into the twins home one night, and delivered a hammer blow onto Millicent’s bonce, so was it Joseph? Huh, do you really think I’m going to tell you.

Get yourself a glass of champagne, settle yourself down to the treat of the month, or year, and read the glorious happenings that always somehow whirl around the wonderfully politically incorrect Agatha Raisin as she digs, delves and trips over the truth. Agatha our hero, our star, our treat of the year is back. Yay, whoopee, hallelujah.

So has the fabulous M.C. Beaton pulled it off again? You darned well better believe it.

M.C. Beaton is the New York Times bestselling author of both the Agatha Raisin and the Hamish Macbeth series, as well as numerous Regency romances. Her Agatha Raisin books have been turned into a TV series on Sky, starring Ashley Jensen as Agatha. A second series will be filmed in Spring 2018. She lives in Paris and in a Cotswold village that is very much like Agatha’s beloved Carsely.

And… and… we can hardly breathe with excitement – Angela, are you listening, (she’s the latest devotee we have enrolled into the Frost’s Aggy Fan Club ). This winter 2018 the aforementioned second  series of three – yes three 90 minute episodes will be airing based on Agatha Raisin and the Fairies of Fryfam, Curious Curate and Wizard of Evesham, featuring the original cast with Ashley Jensen starring as Agatha.

What could be better? Well, we could have been in it, of course, tottering about on similar high heels couldn’t we? Is that really too much to ask? Nonetheless, we’ll be there in front of the TV, choc in one hand, champagne in the other, having a ball with our Agatha.

Agatha Raisin and the Dead Ringer by M.C. Beaton hb £17.99

(Milly Adams’  latest novel is the last in the Waterways Girls – Hope on the Waterways.’

This is fun.  A séance, aristocratic guests, ghosts, murder and secrets, all on an island cut off by a storm. In 1917. With winter approaching us in the twenty first century, what more could we possibly want? Curl up on the sofa with something warm, and enjoy.

On one level this is a ‘cosy’ read because it has the characteristics of this genre. The claustrophobia of a house cut off by nature and populated with an assortment of guests who each has his or her own secrets and agenda is comfortingly familiar. Murder is to be expected. The background, however, is 1917 and the First World War is entering its most brutal phase.  The characters of Donovan, for whom memories of the Somme are far too vivid, and Kate Cartwright, who lost her brother there, ensure that the reader is never quite allowed to forget the very real horrors just across the Channel from Blackwater Abbey and its oddly assorted guests. The plot ties the two worlds together in a way that is sometimes uncomfortable.

Just as A House of Ghosts  is not quite a ‘cosy’, nor is it a ghost story in a conventional way. But you can’t ignore the ghosts. Nor can the house guests.  The links between the living and the dead may make you shiver occasionally on your comfortable sofa  and wonder where that draught came from.

You are in safe hands with this book. The author is clearly a natural story teller and draws you in to the twists and turns of a plot which is almost as complicated as the Abbey’s architecture.  All does become clear – but you may be surprised. I finished this book feeling that I’d had a good read with a story which wasn’t quite what I’d expected. And that I wouldn’t mind meeting its central characters again.

Review by Penny Deacon, author of A Kind of Puritan  and  A Thankless Child

A House of Ghosts by W.C. Ryan published in hardback 4th Oct, Zaffre, £12.99

Woo hoo… Fabulous…  Congratulations…

The Frost Magazine team cracked open the office fizz when we heard that our erudite drama critic, Paul Vates, had won The People’s Play Award 2018 with Voltemand And Cornelius Are Joyfully Returned.

Some of the team had seen the original run through a while ago at The Hope Theatre Islington and been moved, interested, amused and – the real test; were still talking about it days later, and what’s more,  it is with us still – thought provoking is the word we used then, and still do. Hence the revelry, hence the sheer delight at Paul’s well deserved success.

Naturally, when vaguely sober we pinioned Paul to a chair and got the ins and outs of the story behind his successful play.

He told us that Voltemand and Cornelius as characters had been niggling at him since his A level days, when he was studying Hamlet, Stoppard and Beckett.

I mean – our Paul thought – it was OK for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to hog the limelight, but what about Voltemand and Cornelius with their piddly little parts, and just one word referencing their arrival: ‘joyfully’?

Well, what about them?

He says that he knew he wanted to feature the two characters but – he never quite knew ‘where’ they were. It wasn’t until 2013 that he met a professor pal and WW1 expert who suggested that the where could in no-man’s land. There it was, Voltemand and Cornelius had come home, falling into place like skittles well bowled.

Apparently the first draft wrote itself, and then the hard work began, and it is this that aspiring writers will understand: it was Version 6 that won the People’s Play Award.

Paul says: ‘Voltemand and Cornelius represent everyman. Along with the bleakness of it, I hope the absurdity and humour of their world shines through.’

As the Frost team walked away from the original read-through we found ourselves comparing it with Vernon Scannell’s poem Walking Wounded. We’ve talked about the play on and off since then so Paul’s success is not a surprise, just a suitable accolade for a play that hooked us on the first draft.  We now can’t wait to see Version 6 when it is performed in Newcastle starting its run on 11th May 2019 at the the People’s Theatre.

One question we will have answered then, since Paul isn’t telling, is: what about the duck?

What do we mean? Come to Newcastle in May and find the answer.

Paul Vates: Comedy actor, writer and drama critic and Award Winning Playwright.

The People Theatre, Stephenson Road, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 5QF 0191 265 5020

Thirsk Ladies Group – an unstoppable medley of business and non business women – decided in 2001 that they should increase the number of Christmas lights in Thirsk. With a small Committee of 8 they work under the Thirsk & |District Business Associate rules and regulations.

Originally £1,000 was needed to run the lights but, a bit like Topsy, and indeed Thirsk, the scale of the Christmas lights has grown so the £1000 originally needed to keep these dazzlers going has increased to £15,000.

So how do these indomitable ladies find the money? Well, they raise it by providing a variety of events for Thirsk and Sowerby inhabitants throughout the year, and indeed over the years: Garden Shows, Musical Theatre Shows, Murder Mystery, Bingo Nights (which have proved to be very successful), monthly Quiz Nights, Buy a Light for Christmas. There is a 100 club, Dinner Dance, Christmas Fayre and anything they can think of to raise these funds to benefit the town.

So where are we now? Work is in the final stages for the Dinner Dance to be held at Solberge Hall, on 27^th October, tickets £42.50 The team is collecting up raffle prizes (and they are fabulous this year) and making sure everything is ‘just so’ on the night, – so shake out the frocks …

There are a few tickets left but these are going fast, so if you fancy a friendly warm atmosphere, with friends, or in which to make friends, come… The dancing might not be Strictly Come Dancing level but you never know… maybe you’ll surprise the assembled company. Either way;  good music, good company, good food and wine, and raising dosh to keep the Christmas lights bright in the wonderful market town of Thirsk – what could be better.

Dinner Dance:  £42.50 tickets from Luke Miller on Finkle Street, Thirsk. 01845 522333

Cheques payable to: Thirsk Chamber of Trade Ladies Group.

Black Tie.

Venue: Solberge Hall, Newby Wiske DL77 9ER

(Auction, raffle, live band and disco)

facebook.com/thirskladies/

at Finborough Theatre, London

“It is a warm glimpse into a cold subject matter“

The award for longest title of the year goes to….  I think you get the gist. Playwright Halley Feiffer is not afraid of words. Her other works include I’m Gonna Pray For You So Hard, How To Make Friends And Then Kill Them and Moscow Moscow Moscow Moscow Moscow Moscow.

 The cast

A Funny Thing is set in a hospital unit, brilliantly designed by Isabella Van Braekel. Two mothers are battling ovarian cancer. Their children, strangers at the start, soon make contact across the soul-searching void and strike an unlikely friendship.

What happens over the next few days in the story is bittersweet – in turns hilarious and heartbreaking. The passionate performances are superbly contained within the claustrophobic set, with splendidly clean direction from Bethany Pitts.

Marcie, Karla and Don

The ‘children’ have bottled up so much, they are constrained by their grief. Cariad Lloyd plays the feisty but vulnerable Karla, opposite Peter Crouch’s Don, a grizzly bear with a heart of gold.

Marcie and Karla

Karla’s mother, Marcie, played by Kristin Milward, is spiky, cruel and no-nonsense. Milward pitches the character with just the right sprinkling of bitterness. Whereas Don’s mother, Geena, played by Cara Chase, is the epitome of ‘nice’. If the play has a fault, it is that we don’t get enough time with Geena as a contrast to Marcie’s demanding personality. Instead Geena becomes a bit part.

The whole piece rests on the chemistry between the other three. It is from Feiffer’s heart and genuine – nothing feels false and preachy. It is a warm glimpse into a cold subject matter.

Cariad

4 stars

Paul Vates.

Photographer  James O Jenkins

Producer         Arsalan Sattari

Director           Bethany Pitts

Designer         Isabella Van Braeckel

Venue             Finborough Theatre, 118 Finborough Road, London SW10 9ED

Tube               West Brompton (Overground and District Line)

Performances Until Saturday 27th October

Times              7.30pm Tuesday to Saturday – Sunday Matinees at 3pm

Age                 16+

Tickets            £18 (concessions £16) until 14th October, then £20 / £18

Box Office            www.finboroughtheatre.co.uk and 01223 357851

Running Time 90 minutes (no interval)

Twitter             @FunnyThingPlay, @HalleyFeiffer, @finborough