‘And this? asked the tall broad security guard, clearly more used to checking bags at Nightclubs than at the third Academic Archer’s Conference.
‘It’s a crochet hook’ said the woman in front of me in the queue with a small sigh of exasperation.
The security guard locked eyes with me, having already let in a variety of knitting needles, pinking scissors and even a Voodoo Doll.
The typical Archers’ listener is female, University educated, over 50 and according to the market research, resolutely middleclass.
The men form a smaller group and are clearly incapable of listening to the conference papers and knitting, crocheting and embroidering unlike the women who multi task throughout the day. In fact, one woman not only listened and knitted, but even ran up and down the aisle with a roving microphone.
We were at the British Library where an audience of over 200 people had converged and an almost messianic fervour is palpable in the room.
The Archers is the world’s longest running radio soap opera piloted in 1950, with a remit to educate agriculturists and which still performs this role today, though with much more dramatic tension.
One speaker explained that in the mid- 1970s audience levels had dwindled and the BBC was considering cancelling the show. The advent of a woman producer and women writers gave the Archers a much-needed boost and the show has continued to increase its audience ever since.
Our worth as fans is measured in how long we have been listening and at thirty- six years I have only just shed my newcomer status.
Speakers who have only listened for a few years begin with an apology to the all forgiving audience.
The bond between fans is strong and the Speakers – all academics are all fans themselves and clearly relishing the opportunity to impart their, not insignificant knowledge with fellow devotees.
The highlight of the day takes place when one of the show’s actors, Charlotte Martin, took the platform for a wide -ranging discussion. Her character is that of a social climbing busy body that we all love to hate, but by the end of the debate we had agreed that she was in fact the Greek chorus and we sneered because she was an older working- class woman. Food for thought indeed.
The papers covered a variety of Archer related topics, the most surreal about how the featured village would fair if a revolution took place. What appeared on paper to be a whimsical piece had the audience on the edge of their seats as the speaker worked for NATO and had served in Afghanistan. Suddenly this cosy soap was not quite so cosy and yet the delivery had us roaring with laughter.
Michael Rowan and Charlotte Martin
In jokes are shared and before we know it the day has passed and many more new friends have been made.
Last year’s conference has all the papers featured in a book entitled Custard Culverts and Cake and is still available to fans and none fans alike.
I leave with a kindly looking lady who could easily be typecast as the perfect grannie, white hair, glasses and a kindly smile. As we leave she reaches into her bag to remove the voodoo doll she has made of one of the characters in the Archers whom she hates with a passion.
She waves the doll at the Security Guard who again locks eyes with me.
I merely shrug, before waving my companion goodbye and arranging to meet up again next year.
