Right at the beginning of this series we spoke about the attitudes of mindfulness & the importance of kindful acceptance.

As we start to meditate & practice mindfulness we become more aware of our thoughts, feelings, emotions & behaviours & we may not always like what we discover. Sometimes it feels like the meditation or the mindfulness is highlighting all our perceived ‘failings’.  The stillness & the silence seems to amplify what is inside, as though meditation & mindfulness have shone a light on what we may not want to see – this is the work that needs to be done. But instead of beating ourselves up, judging, criticising if we can choose to accept whatever we discover, this creates space to do the work & heal.

Acceptance is a practice in itself & is really closely interlinked with forgiveness, letting go & compassion. Indeed, once we learn to let go, practice compassion & forgiveness we inevitably find acceptance slots into place too.

Acceptance isn’t a passive giving up or giving in. It doesn’t mean we have to like want or support whatever it is we are choosing to accept. It means we are choosing to make space for it without layering on judgment or criticism, shame or beating you selves up. We all experience pain, it is a part of life. The suffering comes when we try to resist the pain, fight against it. When we choose to accept whatever has happened we reduce the suffering.

We have a phrase in the spiritual community what you resist persists, what you accept dissipates. If we push something away, try & brush it away, resist it, the Universe will keep giving us the same lesson until we learn it & will make it increasingly uncomfortable in order that we make the decision to embrace the lesson. By choosing to accept a person, relationship or situation, our past, emotional or physical pain we are making an active decision to create space for healing by letting go & whilst it can be difficult at first, the more you practice acceptance the more you forge those neurons in your brain, making it easier to do next time.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that you are giving up, it often creates the space to do the work & change. Change is a process. It starts with awareness, progresses through acceptance into change. For example, I went through a really acrimonious divorce (is there any other kind?) & I had a terrible relationship with my ex-husband. But as soon as I accepted him for who he is, accepting he is unlikely to ever change, our dynamic changed. I accept him for who he is. We will never be best friends but we can civil & amicable for the kids now.

Same with my mother who is a challenging personality shall we say & I have had a difficult history with her. But again as soon as I accepted that she is who she is, our relationship is the healthiest it has ever been. Adding kindful to the idea of acceptance is simply a reminder that this is a conscious choice we are making in a kindful way. It takes all the angst of ‘having to’ accept away.

Choosing acceptance is a beautiful gift which makes life flow with more grace & ease. The more you do it the easier it becomes & the easier & more fun life becomes too. And the more you will find yourself channelling self-acceptance which is the most powerful of tools.

Let me sum up by leaving you with the serenity prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And wisdom to know the difference

This week’s meditation is a coping breathing space meditation – it helps us to reflect on our difficulties by asking questions of our self to move into a place to kindful acceptance . To obtain your copy email Alex at alex@alexbannard.com quoting FROSTCBS.

Alex is based on the edge of the stunning Cotswolds & has been sharing her love for all things yoga & mindfulness for almost a decade, not just in the UK but also around the world. Her mission is to help everyone discover a more mindful way of living & to encourage them to embrace regular self-care practices for a happier & healthier way of being.

If you would like more information on how to practice mindfulness, meditation & yoga message her at alex@alexbannard.com.

For free resources check out her Facebook group: Mindfulness & Yoga for Self-Care, here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MindfulnessYoga4Relationships

Alternatively please check out her website: alexbannard.com