SISTER SCRIBES: KIRSTEN HESKETH ON DEVELOPING AN UNHEALTHY AMAZON OBSESSION

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I’m way behind the rest of the Sister Scribes in this publishing lark and my debut novel has just gone up for pre-order. Another Us isn’t being published until May 14th – indeed, it hasn’t even got a cover yet – and yet there it is, sitting pretty on Amazon with one of those big smiley faces where the cover illustration should be.

No one told me it was up there.

In fact, I would have been blissfully ignorant of all this, had a lovely lady in America not tweeted me to let me know she had just pre-ordered my book and how much she was looking forward to reading it.

Well, if she could only know what that has set in motion!

All I can say if that it was a good thing that my publishers didn’t let me know as soon as Another Us went up on Amazon because that would have meant I started the obsessive, frenzied, ridiculous checking of sales rankings even earlier. Does anyone else do this? Several times a day? First thing in the morning? Last thing at night? Or am I am just really, really weird?

But there is so much to check and it is all so really, really exciting (and nerve-wracking and depressing and thrilling depending on what I find.)

  • There’s the overall sales ranking itself – and a helpful little graph of how it changes over time. (My graph resembles a yo-yo on speed and probably correlates neatly with my blood pressure and heart rate.)
  • Then there are the sub-categories. Someone has put my book into the parenting and family humour, parenting and family relationship categories, which I would say is fairly spot on. For one heady moment, presumably when all my friends and family were busy pre-ordering Another Us, my book made it into top ten of a couple of these categories and my squeals of excitement could be heard from here to Timbuktu to be followed by groans of despair when it subsequently went into freefall.
  • As if the above wasn’t enough, within each category there is a ‘hot new release’ section. Doesn’t that sound brilliant – ‘hot new release’?  Another Us – currently the only one without a cover and looking a bit sorry for itself – has featured in the top ten there too and sent me skipping round the kitchen – which meant that when it invariably plummeted, I was handily placed to scoff a couple of soothing Curly Wurlies.
  • And don’t get me started on Amazon USA! That, of course, has all the same categories, which merely serves to double the joy – or pain (delete as appropriate).. Another Us in the ‘motherhood’ category over there as well, and I did have a little chuckle when I discovered it was a ‘hot new release’ – right next to ‘How to have a mindful epidural’! Fun, fun, fun …

Hubbie fails to share my enthusiasm about all this. When I told him I thought I was close to cracking Amazon’s algorithm, I swear I heard him mutter ‘obsessed’ and ‘addicted’ into his pinot noir. In fact, there may well have been ‘words’ after that and I might have told him I that I didn’t want to hear anything about his Fitbit and his 10k personal best ever again!

Marital harmony has since been restored and, my obsession with Amazon has subsequently waned. But heaven help us all when the book is launched!

 

Kirsten Hesketh’s debut novel. Another Us, will be published by Canelo on May 14th and is now available for pre-order.