eHarmony.co.uk’s relationship scientist Dr Gian Gonzaga says romance is a wonderful thing, but perhaps it’s time to forget fairytales and take destiny into our own hands.
Even the most cynical and ‘grown-up’ among us love a fairytale. Whether it’s Disney’s Tangled or Cinderella and her glass slipper, who hasn’t at some time dreamt of being whisked away on a white horse to a life of never-ending romance with an impossibly handsome prince or princess?
Dr Gian Gonzaga, world leading relationship scientist and Senior Research Director for eHarmony.co.uk believes a little imagination is healthy but finding the right partner also needs a dose of reality. He says: “Anyone who believes that finding or keeping a great relationship is a matter of luck or chance may be disappointed. Relationships can absolutely be filled with fairytale romance, but amazingly, a lot of people expect their Prince Charming to magically appear on their doorstep and rescue them. The reality is that taking a positive and active approach to finding love is the best way to find your own happy ending.”
Dr Gonzaga, author of new book ‘Dating the second time around, Finding love that lasts’, says people can fall into the trap of waiting for a new relationship to find them or believe that finding a compatible partner is outside of their control or ability. In his book, Dr Gonzaga touches on four tips that those of us who are looking for a fairytale romance should bear in mind.
Find your own version of the Handsome Prince
You may have a vision of the handsome prince or princess you want to meet, what they do for a living, where they live, and how old they are—but it’s time to put away the tired old checklist you’ve created over the years and approach finding a life-long partner with fresh eyes. Of course you have to feel chemistry with your partner, but perfection comes in all guises. It’s worth keeping in mind what’s going to make you happy not just now but in twenty years’ time. (Tip – it’s probably not a washboard stomach).
Control your own destiny
To find a relationship and make it work, you need to take control over the process by searching for the right type of partner, and acting to ensure the quality of this relationship. Lots of people expect Prince Charming to appear from nowhere, and they think that whether it works out or not will be down to fate or the cosmos or astrological compatibility rather than anything they might do or not do. Those who believe they can control whether a relationship works or not will ultimately be happier. Psychologists call this “locus of control.” Some people have an external locus of control, which means they don’t think they have the power to change things.
Others have an internal locus of control, which means that they believe they can change their situation with some effort. Those who have an internal locus of control more often try to make things better rather than passively accepting their fate, and that alone makes a big difference.
Don’t hurry love
We’ve all grown up on Hollywood’s romantic movies with speedy courtships and happy endings and it’s easy to think that real-life romance should happen quickly and easily.
As the old saying goes, only fools rush in. Too much too soon can scare a very suitable partner or cause problems in the longer term. Allow time for authentic feelings to develop before you say ‘I love you’, and consider that everyone has his or her own emotional clock.
Inject some romance into daily life
When you’re in a relationship with your own Prince Charming it’s important to keep the fires burning, even years down the line when romance can sometimes take a backseat. But how do you keep that exciting ‘butterflies’ feeling? The simple answer is by making time for your partner and making them feel special.
The Obama’s famously have their ‘date night’ but how about setting up a monthly ‘romantic surprise’ – put aside say £50 to take each other out for a romantic dinner or to a concert. And don’t forget to praise your partner’s achievements and compliment them as often as you can, in a genuine way. The couples that look out for each other stay happy together. You can have your ‘happy ever after’ but like Cinderella you’ll have to put some work in.
To read more about how to find realistic and lasting love read Dr Gian Gonzaga’s new book – Dating the second time around, Finding love that lasts. (Octopus, £6.99), available from all good bookshops.
Head2Pillow launched its short stay accommodation website for the London area in Autumn 2010, enabling homeowners with a spare room to rent it out and make tax-free money and for visitors to the capital to find an affordable room for a short stay.
The site has been developed over a considerable length of time, with the focus being on ease of use for both homeowners and guests.
For Guests looking for a room, the site has an innovative Quick Search facility, enabling users to look for a room by *either
*town
*postcode
*venue, which now also includes the main Olympic venues.
In addition, the Advanced Search allows users to carry out a more detailed search based on a selection of criteria, including cost, distance and availability dates.
Many online accommodation sites only allow users to find out limited information online and the actual booking process is dealt with by email. Head2Pillow enables users to search for a room in real time, book and pay securely via Barclaycard all online. In addition, there is no sign up fee for Guests, no minimum stay required and no booking fees.
Homeowners with a spare room can advertise their room straight away with no sign up fee, knowing that they have complete control over the room price and availability and can rent it out as often or as little as they like. In addition, they can select to receive an SMS alert every time a booking is made for their room.
With the Government’s cuts really hitting households across the country now, there has never been a better time for homeowners to make some much needed extra cash or for Guests to book an affordable room with Head2Pillow.
In an highly competitive industry Leoni Kibbey is flying high indeed. She has a successful career as an actress, casting director and now, producer. Leoni just finished her short film Bird Brain.
Leoni Kibbey, age 35 from St Albans is a Casting Director and actress who is now producing her own movies. She has plans to make feature films but must first prove her talent with short movies. The first short she produced ‘Chasing’ was screened at the East End Film Festival and 2Days Laughter short film festival. Leoni’s work as Casting Director is flourishing… she is currently working on five feature films including Shakespeare’s Daughter a $25million feature for which she has interest from Renee Zellweger.
Bird Brain will be a steppingstone to producing her own feature films. Leoni knows it is all about the ability to pull together the best team around you and she has a fantastic crew attached and is now raising the funds to produce her movie to the best standard possible. The Director is Giles Greenwood whose last two short films were qualified for the Academy Awards and who is about to shoot his first feature – a thriller in Sri Lanka. Ilan Eshkeri is the composer on the film – he worked on the films Kick-Ass, Centurion, Layer-Cake & Stardust and the post production is being done by Ridley Scott’s Post Production House. A team which bring high hopes for the film winning awards at prestigious festivals!!
Leoni says: “I have always been in awe of the process of filmmaking. Over the last few years I’ve learned so much about the process with my casting & acting work and I feel ready and able to tell my own unique stories..our feathered friends have always held a special place in my life – I was lucky enough to be brought up around some beautiful wildlife in the lake district which is why, when I saw the first draft of the script Bird Brain written by co-writer Colin Moody, I saw a gem that could be developed into something quite special. It is no easy task to produce a film while bringing up two young daughters and continuing my casting work but this is one challenge I am very excited about. In the film world there are a lot of delays and I figured the best way to get ahead in this tough industry is to do it yourself!”
So what is the film about?
Bird Brain is a 20minute short film about a famous birdlife TV presenter and his wife. It is a thriller/film noir. It will be shot on the RED Camera to achieve a beautiful look. The script has received great praise. You can see the full synopsis and more info the film website. www.birdbrainmovie.com .
Would you like to invest?
Everyone can be involved. There are levels of investment from £6 to £10,000 and no matter how much you donate you will be a part of the film and get something in return.
Producer Leoni Kibbey is offering a part in the film or to be a crew member on the film for anyone who comes on board at associate or exec producer level as well as the opportunity to be involved in deciding which birds we feature in the movie. Other ways you can help are to share this article and campaign with anyone who you think may be able to help.
For more information and to find out how to donate email birdbrainmovie@gmail.com
Women will need to be financially prepared to pay their half as they break from first date tradition
New research from online bank first direct has found sharply differing financial attitudes to first dates between the sexes. While women have a progressive attitude to dating expecting to split the bill on a first date, men still like to play the hunter gatherer role and pick up the bill. With women breaking from tradition and expecting to pay at least some of the bill, they especially will have to be financially prepared for the cost of dating like never before.
Independent Women
The survey of 1,924 UK adults found that 58% of women expect to split the bill on a first date, double the proportion of men (29%). Additionally, 14% of women think it should be whoever suggested the date. Just a quarter of women said that they thought men should pay for a first date, while 3% said they should foot the bill, suggesting that women feel they shouldn’t be beholden to men, but that men should also pay their way.
Hunter Gatherer
Men on the other hand believe that chivalry isn’t dead, with 55% expecting to pay the full bill on a first date, and men spending an average of £65 on a first date compared to women who spend £50. Shouldering not just the financial burden but also the organisational responsibility, more than nine in ten males (94%) would organise the first date, compared with just 65% of women.
The average amount that people expect to pay on a first date is £56 and highlighting the financial considerations behind dating, 38% percent of people would use discount vouchers on a first date, a figure slightly higher for men (41%) than women (36%).
Richard Brown, Senior Savings Product Manager at first direct commented:
“As we approach the wedding season, the couple on everyone’s lips is Kate Middleton and Prince William. It would be fascinating to know if they split the bill or if William paid and pulled out a discount voucher on their first date. If he did, he is far from alone – dating can be an expensive business and if you do not have the disposable income of a future royal, it is important to make sure you have enough money saved to find The One.”
Gorgeous singer Jessie J turned up at the Teenage Cancer Trust wearing some gorgeous jewelery. See below for where you can get your hands on the pieces.
About a week ago I was invited to BAFTA by Channel 4 to see their new comedy. After some caffeine we were shown the second episode, and it was incredibly funny, well written and completely not politically correct. Frost are a fan of such witty writing and boundary pushing. Give it a watch and see if you are too. I reckon you’ll enjoy it, but you might feel that you shouldn’t….
Campus is a brand new comedy set in the hotbed of academic mediocrity that is Kirke University. At its helm is the stubby, mercurial Vice Chancellor Jonty de Wolfe, who wants nothing more than to drench Kirke in the juices of his own greatness.
As a scary cloud of financial doom hovers over the gently crumbling 60s concrete, Jonty attempts to pimp up Kirke in any way he can, whether it’s faked alumni, kidnapped prodigies or a range of “Eau de Kirke” perfumery – but his lofty plans soar as gracefully as a porky tortoise… And while the strangely unsettling puppet master plunges deeper into the pickle jar, the rest of Kirke’s assorted staff get sidetracked by the more urgent dilemma of who to sleep with next.
The philandering English Professor Matt Beer is forced to up his game in all departments, as he makes no impression on shy Maths lecturer Imogen Moffat, who herself is consumed with creative agony over expectations of a follow-up to her hit Mathsbuster. He is left to contemplate his rapidly greying pubes while his younger, bouncier, athletic student sidekick Flatpack – who combines a six-pack body with the intellect of a piece of Ikea furniture – makes more headway with the lovely Maths boffin. The gawky Mechanical Engineer Lydia ‘big shit’ Tennant, the three Graces of Admin (Big Grace, Pretty Grace and ‘Was Once A Man’ Grace), Jason the reticent Accountant and Nicole the feisty Accommodations Officer add more sexual confusion to the mix.
CAMPUS is a comedy about the life of a university under fire. Jonty and his team face extinction if they cannot harness their individual and collective brain power, some of which has not been exercised for many years, in an effort to reinvigorate their tired and vulnerable institution…but of course it’s mainly a love story with lots of sex. What did you expect?
CAMPUS is produced and directed by Victoria Pile (Green Wing) with Associate Producer Robert Harley and the Executive Producer is Caroline Leddy.
Starring:
Andy Nyman (Ghost Stories) plays Jonty de Wolfe
Joseph Millson (Casino Royale, Love Never Dies) plays Matthew Beer
Lisa Jackson (Bright Young Things, Time and The Conways) plays Imogen Moffat
Jonathan Bailey (Young Leonardo) plays ‘Flatpack’
Sara Pascoe (The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret) plays Nicole Huggins
Will Adamsdale (Jackson’s Way, The Boat That Rocked) plays Jason Armitage
Dolly Wells (Star Stories) plays Lydia Tennant
Katherine Ryan (Last Comic Standing) plays Georgina Bryan
CAST OF CHARACTERS
JONTY DE WOLFE
Kirke University’s idiosyncratic and strangely unsettling Vice Chancellor.
Kirke – once a concrete academic field of dreams, now a landfill of educational mediocrity – is the child Jonty never had. Now, to make his life even harder, clouds of financial doom and political grief are gathering ominously over the campus.
MATTHEW BEER
The sexually active and academically dormant English professor whose research speciality appears to be The Easy Life. Matt deftly side-steps student queries by insisting they ‘google it’.
IMOGEN MOFFAT
Awkward but prodigiously talented Maths lecturer, who brought huge kudos to Kirke with the success of her best-selling book, The Joy of Zero. Much to Jonty’s frustration, however, the celebrated Imogen is struggling badly with its sequel.
FLATPACK
Post-graduate student, nominally Matt’s teaching assistant, but more significantly an athlete with serious international potential. Cute and bouncy and allegedly studying English Literature, Flatpack has in fact only read six books since the age of ten; three about sports science (twice each). For Jonty, however, he brings star quality and is therefore indispensible.
JASON ARMITAGE & NICOLE HUGGINS
Chief Accountant and Accommodations Officer respectively. A meeting of chalk with cheese, although this doesn’t mean they can’t be special friends. However, as Jason’s finding it hard to dump his current girlfriend, a tangled web of deceit seems to be the best route to avoiding any awkwardness.
LYDIA TENNANT
Senior Lecturer in Mechanical Engineering who usually prefers power tools to humans – although she could find a small space for some sort of sexually-active male. Her job seems safe as she has a hugely lucrative sponsorship deal with a pharmaceutical company specialising in vivisection. And despite resembling a laboratory rat herself, there is a key difference: Lydia is a born survivor.
GEORGINA BRYAN
Canadian troubleshooter – or troublemaker as far as Jonty’s concerned – head of the ruthless consultancy team tasked with ‘restructuring’ Kirke. Cold-hearted and cleavage-flaunting, George is scarily ambitious.
EPISODE SYNOPSES
Ep 1: PUBLICATION! PUBLICATION! PUBLICATION!
According to Vice Chancellor Jonty De Wolfe, Kirke University’s bank balance and academic reputation both need a bit of a boost. Reactions to this news from members of staff range from nonchalance to panic, but Jonty, titillated by his mousy Maths Lecturer’s success insists all the staff take a leaf out of her (best selling) book – Publication! Publication! Publication!
Ep 2: THE CULLING FIELDS
Jonty is forced to make huge spending cuts and the Kirke University rumour mill goes into paranoid overdrive. No one’s job is safe, it seems. Apart from those whose jobs are safe, of course. Hard work, diligence and not telling whopping great fibs on your CV should see you right. So not looking great for Lazy Prof Matt or Accomms. Officer Nicole.
Ep 3: DARK CANADIAN FOG
The arrival of a restructuring guru, in the shapely shape of George Bryan, sends a chill wind up many a Kirke trouser leg. A fully paid-up member of the ‘slash and burn’ school of downsizing, George appears without heart or soul. In an act of crippling desperation, Jonty enlists Matt’s help to ‘melt’ the Ice Maiden.
Ep 4: COME TOGETHER
Philandering English Professor, Matt Beer, is on a mission to woo icy business consultant George into knee-trembling, resolve-weakening, book-cooking submission. Flatpack embarks on a little wooing of his own, and even Accountant Jason is feeling a certain ‘stirring’ around gay best friend Nicole.
Ep 5: POST COITAL
As George puts the finishing touches to her Final Report, Matt is plunged into total crisis over his recent shenanigans and the thought that he might actually have genuine feelings for another member of the human race. Imogen suffers her own inner turmoil about an ill-advised coupling and only Flat seems perkily sure of what he wants.
Ep 6: AN ENDING AND A BEGINNING AND AN ENDING
The Day of Reckoning. Stomachs and hearts are in knots as George prepares to deliver the bad news. ‘The News” however, turns out to be not quite what they anticipated, leaving everyone with a new set of ever more complicated problems to unpick.
BIOGRAPHIES
ANDY NYMAN (Jonty de Wolfe)
Actor and magician Andy Nyman directed and co-wrote all of Derren Brown’s stage shows – all of which enjoyed hugely successful West End runs and national tours – including the Olivier award-winning sell-out production, Something Wicked This Way Comes. Their fourth show, Enigma, was also Olivier-nominated.
He also co-writes and is Consultant Producer on Derren Brown’s series and specials for Channel 4, including Russian Roulette Live, Messiah, The Gathering and The Heist. His work on these shows won him a Silver Rose at the 2003 Montreux Television Festival. He was also Consultant Producer on Channel 4’s Magick and Dirty Tricks. More recently he starred in Crooked House and Charlie Brooker’s E4 BAFTA-nominated horror satire, Dead Set.
His numerous feature film credits include Dead Babies, Shut Up and Shoot Me, Severance, Wild Romance, Death at a Funeral and the forthcoming thriller, The Glass Man.
This week Andy’s sell-out stage show Ghost Stories, which he co-wrote and co-directed, and in which he also stars, transfers from the Lyric to the West End (Duke of York’s).
JOSEPH MILLSON (Matt Beer)
Joseph Millson’s numerous theatre credits include appearances for the RSC in Peter Hall’s As You Like It (for which he was nominated for the Ian Charleson Award for best classical actor under 30), The Spanish Golden Age season and Much Ado About Nothing, as well as appearing alongside Steven Berkoff in his production of Richard II. He first came to TV prominence in Peak Practice followed by EastEnders, Macbeth, The Romantics and Channel 4’s Ghost Squad. More recently he guested in Talk to Me, Survivors and Ashes to Ashes before returning to the stage with Tom Stoppard’s Every Good Boy Deserves Favour at the National Theatre. Last year’s TV appearances included BBC Four’s acclaimed drama Enid and Mike Bullen’s comedy drama, Reunited.
SARA PASCOE (Nicole Huggins)
Writer, stand-up and comedy actress Sara Pascoe debuted her solo stand-up show in Edinburgh last year to wide acclaim and was voted one of Time Out’s Rising Stars of Comedy. Her many TV credits include Being Human, The Thick of It and, for Channel 4, Girl Friday, Free Agents and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret.
DOLLY WELLS (Lydia Tennant)
Dolly Wells’ numerous previous Channel 4 comedy appearances include Peep Show, Star Stories, The IT Crowd and Free Agents. In addition her TV credits range from The Gathering Storm and Bertie and Elizabeth to, more recently, The Mighty Boosh and Whites. Feature films include I Capture the Castle, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Magicians and Film Four’s Morvern Callar.
WILLIAM ADAMSDALE (Jason Armitage)
Will Adamsdale won the prestigious Edinburgh Fringe Festival Perrier Award for Comedy for his one-man show, Jackson’s Way, in 2004. Numerous theatre credits include Faster, The Winslow Boy, Arcadia, Notes from Underground, Bent, BloodyPoetry and No Man’s Land. On television, appearances include two series of Manchild, Sword of Honour, Bomber and Warriors.
KATHERINE RYAN (George)
Writer, performer and actress Katherine Ryan was the 2008 Winner of the Nivea Funny Women Awards and is one of the most recent additions to UK stand-up. She recently appeared in Channel 4’s Routes, which was both Writer’s Guild and BAFTA-nominated.
LISA JACKSON (Imogen Moffat)
Lisa Jackson’s numerous theatre appearances include As You Like It, The 39 Steps,All My Sons and Time and the Conways at the National Theatre. On television she has appeared in Daniel Deronda, Waking the Dead and Dirk Gently, and film credits include Stephen Fry’s Bright Young Things.
JONATHAN BAILEY (Flatpack)
Jonathan Bailey’s previous TV credits include Channel 4’s Alice through the Looking Glass, Bramwell, Bright Hair, Golden Hour, Off the Hook and Lewis. Feature films include Five Children and It and St. Trinians.
PRODUCTION CREDITS
Monicker Pictures
Is a newly formed production company set up by Victoria Pile and Robert Harley. Disguised as a curiosity shop on Brick Lane, this is their first production. Other projects are in development.
VICTORIA PILE – Writer, Producer, Director
Victoria started out writing comedy for television and radio, before going on to develop her passion for producing and directing. She spent her early career at the BBC, before honing her skills at a variety of leading independent companies.
She devised and produced the double Emmy award-winning sketch show Smack the Pony for Channel 4, as well as the surreal two-hander Los Dos Bros (winner of the Silver Rose at Montreux). Taking elements from the style of these two shows, Victoria then devised, produced and co-wrote the hugely popular BAFTA-winning comedy Green Wing. More recently she has spent some time in the US, writing and producing a sitcom pilot for ABC/Paramount and developing another with NBC. Back in the UK, as well as directing a number of commercials, Victoria is the co-founder of Monicker Pictures, the Brick Lane based company behind Campus. She is currently developing a comedy drama for Channel 4, a screenplay, and sitcom scripts for the BBC.
When Tamara Drewe (Gemma Arterton) returns to the village she grow up in to sort out her inheritance after her mother dies she leaves a wake of gossip, broken hearts and trouble in her wake. Gemma Arterton is delightful in this role, a true British movie star and one of our top exports to Hollywood. A rare thing. The film makes you long for a weekend, if not longer, in the countryside. Tamara Drewe was originally a graphic strip in The Guardian by Posy Simmonds, it then became a book before being turned into this luscious film by Stephen Frears.
It’s a brilliant ensemble cast, with Tamsin Greig and Dominic Cooper bringing in performances of note. Although some of the characters come across as unsympathetic, they have depth that is usually lacking in some big budget movies. The 50 something writer who runs a writers retreat with his put upon wife, the bored teenagers, the handyman making his way in the world (played by Luke Evans, who’s brilliant) none of them are ready for Tamara coming back as a femme fatale with a new nose and a successful career. It’s a lovely movie, definitely worth a watch.
Released on March 28thon DVD and Blue Ray from Momentum Pictures
GEORGE MICHAEL RELEASES NEW SINGLE ‘TRUE FAITH’ FOR COMIC RELIEF
“Over the years, George has been the most tremendous supporter of Comic Relief. Out of the blue one year he gave us all the cash from the release of ‘As’, his single with Mary J Blige. Then he did a brilliant Little Britain ‘Lou and Andy’ sketch – which ended with the inevitable insult slung at him – “I don’t like him.” But most excitingly, he’s giving Comic Relief all the money from his new single, ‘True Faith’. It’s always so moving when people stick with us year after year – and we’re thrilled and delighted about the song, and the wonderful video that goes with it. We promise we’ll use every penny we make from it to save and change lives in Africa and all over the UK.” – RICHARD CURTIS
‘True Faith’ arranged and produced by George Michael was a hit for New Order in 1987 and was written by, Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook, Stephen Morris, Gillian Gilbert and Stephen Hague who have also very kindly donated their proceeds to Comic Relief along with the publishers’ mechanical royalties.
The single, released through Aegean Records via Absolute Marketing & Distribution / Universal, will be available digitally on the 13th March and physically on the 14th March; both will also include an instrumental version of the track as a b-side. At 12:01am on March 19th – after the ‘True Faith’ official music video has been premiered for Comic Relief – the single and video will be available for purchase as a bundle exclusively through iTunes.
Red Nose Day is on Friday 18th March, go to www.rednoseday.com to find out more. Comic Relief spends all the money raised by the public to give extremely poor, vulnerable and disadvantaged people in the UK and Africa a helping hand to turn their lives around.
To stay up-to-date with George Michael news, visit his official website at GeorgeMichael.com or become a fan at Facebook.com/GeorgeMichael
