Not so Hidden Gems part Deux: The Fattening {Ceri's Column}

Please don’t kill me with sticks but I have to say…AMERICAN CANDY KICKS ASS!

There I said it. Happy? No? Don’t believe me? NO? Well, first off, how frigging dare you. Second off, it bloody is. The chocolate bar most associated with US confectionary is Hershey’s. Now I will admit, a plain, as you are, milk chocolate, regular, no fries Hershey bar tastes like sub-Aldi own brand. Almost gone off. Most Dairy Milk competitors from the States just taste like balls…as in, not nice. K? Right…

But when it comes to other bars and chocs, sadly for all you Union Jack wavers, they rule. Compare a Peanut Butter Twix to a lunch box friendly British one-finger. No contest. I’ll be singing the Star Spangled Banner next! Peanut butter M&M’s rock my mouth off too! How do I know this?

CYBERCANDY.

Next door to Snog Frozen Yogurt (the wondrous place I wrote about in “Not so Hidden Gems”) in Covent Garden, there is a sweet shop like no other. Or rather, a sweet shop like they must have in other countries whose chocolates they stock…so, what I want to tell you is Cybercandy stocks and sells sweets from around the globe. Sorry, I’ll learn to write some day.

American chocs are mainly peanut or peanut butter based, Canadian stuff is usually bigger version of British stuff, Japan has a real taste for Apple, New Zealand is crazy for marshmallow, Sweden loves liquorice and Mexico can fuck right off with its crappy salty offerings. Bleurgh!

It isn’t just chocolates they have, Oooooh no sir! Gums, Chews, Taffy, Root beers, giant Japanese Mountain Dew, other American sodas, Quagmire from Family Guy themed Energy Drink (I shit you not!),pop tarts, American cereals like Lucky Charms, Dairy milk bars from other countries, Japanese Ramune Soda and all sorts of edible bugs, astronaut foods and flavoured toothpicks and TWINKIES!

This place is like Heaven. Proper no-foolin’ Heaven!

You shop with heart-shaped buckets that fill-up waaaay too easily. The shop itself is tiny and always jammed with people going “Aaaaah! I saw this on The Sopranos!” or “Duuude! I used to get this all the time at home, man…yee haaa!” (An American ex-pat, y’see!)

My highlights are:

–          Japanese Kit Kats; They are tiny and come in a variety of crazy flavours like Bubblegum, Ginger ale (lush) and Sweet Potato!

–          Butterfinger bars from the USA: Peanut butter flavoured brittle encased in chocolate. Devine.

–          Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts – Droooooooool.

The only note I’d give this place is: GET SOME AMERICAN POTATO CHIPS! American Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos and any other crisps not necessarily ending in “os”!

Apart from that. Go there. Now. Get diabetes, I don’t care! It’s worth it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.