Well I’ll tell you one thing. My band would have a shitty name.
I’m just not the kind of person who can reel off a catchy group moniker. I just don’t seem to have the…knack. I mean, titles for stories, my lil’ TV scripts, character names, even bloody baby names for Christ’s sake (spell-check MADE me capitalize Christ…see, they did it again….). Band names? Nope.
So on the night of our 1st gig at some trendy bar in <insert name of wanky suburb of some in-vogue town/city>, we’d probably have the set list memorized, each of our costumes would be matching, I’d even have little inter-song audience banter bits sussed. But our name? Still missing, I’d imagine.
I’m rather partial to a bit of “extreme” music, (or metal to you norms), and I firmly believe that metal band names reign supreme. Some of the coolest are…
- Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Cool
- Pig Destroyer – COOL
- Prong – simple yet COOL
- Gay for Johnny Depp – Um… (*Author’s note* aren’t we all…a little…no? I’ll shut up then…)
- Old Man Gloom – quirky and carries a sense of foreboding
- Killing Joke – Just yes. Yes. Thank you. What a name. Icicle cool.
I wouldn’t stand a bloody chance! My band would limp on with a name like “The Jolly Rodgers” or “Wittgenstein’s Shame” or “We are on Stage!”…something ball-crunchingly crap or pretentious or nonsensical.
Probably why I don’t have a band, really…that and not being able to play an instrument. Or carry a tune. Or know anyone else who can do either who isn’t already in a band…
I’m a bit deflated now. I’ll just drink some beers and watch Edward Scissorhands. Oh, I mean…
Nah. Edward Scissorhands.