There are many things that a bride wants her fiancé to say to her on the morning of their wedding, but ‘I don’t think I can get married today’ is not one of them, but that is what my husband said to me. Now it was not a complete surprise. We had spent the night in A&E, only getting back home at 4am. We then went to bed and I tried to sleep despite the growing anxiety inside of me. I had no idea if the wedding I had spent over a year planning would go ahead. It was not just the thought of not getting married and letting all of our guests down: we had also spent a fortune on deposits and alcohol. It seemed there was no going back now. If we did not get married today then I had no idea when it would be possible again.
My parents were full of smiles as I went to get some breakfast. My mother asked if I was excited to be getting married today, I had to hold back the tears as I said to her that I was not sure that I would be. I went back into the room to check on my fiancé and he was in a lot of pain. In the end the stress got too much and I actually fainted. Cue a comedy moment where my fiancé yelled for my father while I lay on the carpet, face down, saying ‘I’m fine, I’m fine, just give me a minute’. It’s funny now, but it wasn’t then.
My fiancé had been ill the day before our wedding and it had got progressively worse. A combination of some dodgy food and having two stag parties the weekend before the wedding, which I had explicitly told him NOT to do, but no one listened to me. All brides-to-be listen to me: do not allow your fiancé to have the stag do anywhere near your actual wedding date.
I calmly told him that we should get married today and that he had it in him. He still seemed unsure so I called for an emergency doctors appointment. Luckily the receptionist was sympathetic and I got an appointment. The doctor seemed shocked when we said it was our wedding day and prescribed some medication to help my fiancé to get through the next few hours. We called the best man to come along to our flat to help my fiancé get ready and pep him up. Our maid of honour was amazing and called the venue and told them that the groom was ill and to keep water on hand. The next couple of hours were hell. At no moment did I know whether or not I was actually going to get married. The only option I had was to keep as calm as possible, get ready and make sure my fiancé had everything he needed.
The flat was full of people which helped. My family were there, as were my bridesmaids, the wedding photographer, the best man and his girlfriend. I had to stay calm and keep in control. If I didn’t there would be no wedding. The make up artist arrived and did everyone’s make-up and we got ready. Very slowly the start of the wedding crept forward and it was time for my fiancé to head to the venue which, thankfully, was very close.
Credit: Holly Thomas
My father drove him to the venue but before he left he told me to not be late or he was not sure that the wedding could go ahead. Cue more panic. I was determined to not be late but my father took longer than me to get ready and then the make-up artist decided she wanted to go to the bathroom as we were about to leave. I could have screamed. Everything seemed to be against us.
I was wearing my wedding dress, veil and tiara. I was all dressed up for this particular event but still unsure if I would end the day a married woman. At this point I got quite firm with people and we headed to the venue. As I stood outside the door of the room we were to get married in I was so relieved. ‘I am nervous’ I said to my father. I felt like a blender had gone off inside of me. I was so near and I just wanted to marry the love of my life.
Finally we were announced. I walked in and there he was: my fiancé had been sitting in a chair but when he saw me he stood up and smiled at me. I will never forget the look on his face, nor the rush of love I felt when I looked at him. In the end we did get married, but my (now) husband was in a lot of pain and after the wedding breakfast we headed back to A&E. My husband then spent five days in hospital. We missed our mini moon and our reception. I look back on my wedding day with both happiness and pain. It was both one of the worst days of my life, yet it had its own joy and special memories. Bookmarked with A&E visits and missed opportunity, I would love to do it all again properly, especially as my poor husband feels like he missed his own wedding. But the important thing is that we got married. We spent the days after our wedding apart and have still not managed to go on our honeymoon six years later. Initially that was because we had some amazing news not long after our wedding: I was pregnant with our first child. I was worried the stress might have upset the baby but our son is a tough one. We had our daughter two years later. Our seventh anniversary is in July and we are as happy as ever. So it was not a disaster after all.
The other good thing that came out of this is my wedding book which I wrote to help other couples avoid disaster. You can buy my wedding planning book here.