Author Archives: Junior Smart

Is This the Best Ever Response to a Facebook Rant?

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It’s a common issue among men to be perplexed by their partners’ monthly mood swings which turns even the nicest girlfriends into monsters. One such lad is Richard Neill who posted a rant on Facebook hitting out at advertisers who make the ‘time of the month’ sound as if women are having the time of their lives. Having seen the uplifting Bodyform Maxi Pad commercials as a boy, he said he was ‘jealous’ of all the exciting things women did during their periods such as parachuting, mountain biking and skiing.

Richard Neill decided to post a light- hilarious Facebook on Body Form’s page claiming they mis-sold the truth about menstruation. His message quickly received 86,743 ‘likes’ and 3,735 comments.
Rather than call in the lawyers, Bodyform sensed a PR opportunity – and hit back with a great tongue-in-cheek YouTube video. In it, fictional chief executive Caroline Williams addresses Richard directly and admits: ‘There’s no such thing as a happy period. We lied to you Richard and we want to say “sorry”.’

She said the company had to resort to ‘flagrant imagery’ as some focus groups in the 1980s couldn’t handle the truth of the ‘cramps, the mood swings and the insatiable hunger’ during a woman’s cycle.

Snapping a pencil, she says: ‘But you Richard have torn down that veil and exposed this myth, thereby exposing every man to a reality we hoped they would never have to face.’

The video has racked up nearly 200,000 viewers and 3,000 likes on Facebook in one day, with men and women alike describing it as “hilarious”, “genius” and “comedy gold”.

Posted on Bodyform’s Facebook page on 8 October:

‘Hi, as a man I must ask why you have lied to us for all these years.

‘As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many things, I felt a little jealous.

‘I mean bike riding, rollercoasters, dancing, parachuting, why couldn’t I get to enjoy this time of joy and ‘blue water’ and wings!! Dam my penis!!

‘Then I got a girlfriend, was so happy and couldn’t wait for this joyous adventurous time of the month to happen …..you lied !!

‘There was no joy, no extreme sports, no blue water spilling over wings and no rocking soundtrack oh no no no.

‘Instead I had to fight against every male urge I had to resist screaming wooaaahhhhh bodddyyyyyyfooorrrmmm bodyformed for youuuuuuu as my lady changed from the loving, gentle, normal skin coloured lady to the little girl from the exorcist with added venom and extra 360 degree head spin.

‘Thanks for setting me up for a fall bodyform, you crafty b@gger’

 

You tube video in response

 

Taken 2 – Movie Review

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“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you….”

For anyone who doesn’t know, these now unforgettable words come from Taken; the surprise hit action movie of 2008, a film which saw Liam Neeson; an established actor in his own right become one of the most proficient killing machines and not to mention professional throat puncher since Bourne. What set this film apart from other action movies? Well a number of reasons, it was impeccably acted, superbly directed and (bar one or two questionable scenes) had an incredible screenplay. What’s more it had heart, it was hard not to feel for Liam Neeson’s character the humble, yet deadly Brian Mills in his struggle to rescue his daughter. If you haven’t seen Taken then I highly recommend you do so now.

Taken 2 sees Liam Neeson once again become Brian Mills, however this time the key motivation is simple revenge. Mills finds himself being hunted by Murad (played well by Rade Serbedzija) the father of one of the kidnappers he tortured and killed in the first film. He has sworn revenge on behalf of the families whom Mills destroyed in his attempt to get his daughter back and takes Bryan and his wife hostage during their vacation in Istanbul. Thus the scene is set for more fights against the clock as time for Mills and his estranged wife runs out.

Things start nicely enough, at the beginning we are introduced to teen issues and daughter Kim, we see Mills ‘subtle’ reactions to his daughter having a boyfriend which can only mean one thing. At the same time his ex-wife, Lenore (played by the lovely Famke Janssen who never seems to age at all) is recently separated from her husband and there are hints of a possible reconciliation between her and Brian. However it isn’t too long before there is trouble and Mills ends up using those ‘unique special skills’ he talked about and his daughter Kim (played well by Maggie Grace) has to learn new skills of her own to help her dad.

This all sounds very good and believe me it is. However there are a couple of shortcomings – new director Olivier Megaton just isn’t as snappy on the editing as his predecessor Pierre Morel was. It is nearly 30 minutes in before we see anything in the way of ‘real’ action. Then there is of the absurd choice to make this film a 12A certificate – a choice, that to be honest baffles me. Taken earned a 15 rating for its ‘strong violence and scenes of torture’ so why would you choose to limit yourself by a 12A? What this means is that bullets enter walls rather than flesh, blades are brandished instead of utilised, while a supposedly life-threatening slash to Janssen’s neck is left to the imagination. By and large fight sequences have ‘just’ lost their spark and the shaky cam used in fights was just a plain bad idea. All of these issues just detract from what the film should have been.

On the plus side there is some really good car chases especially a good one from Kim who is about to sit her driving test and ingenious set-piece, involving a map, a shoelace and grenades whose detonations allow our Mills to ascertain his location. Yes he still has the grey matter.

The Verdict

Taken 2 was always going to be a predictable film, firstly for the context and then secondly because purely and simply the first film was so damn good. A common question between myself and my friends was ‘how on earth are they going to improve upon the first film?’ it would simply be too hard to supersede the original in terms of memorable scenes. To a certain extent this film doesn’t even try; of course there’s hairy situations that the family barely get through, big explosions and great action sequences and like the first film this one tries to mix all out action against a backdrop of family relationship issues. But whilst it is good, it is not great, whilst it is still a must-see, it does not come across as legendary as its predecessor. What it does accomplish is being a satisfactory conclusion to a remarkable story.

8 out of 10

Rocksmith Game Review

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God bless software developers Harmonix and Red Octane for creating the gaming culture of Guitar Hero and Rock Band. A culture that, for a time was relatively revered amongst gamers all over the world. But my gosh, they didn’t know how to stop riding the gravy train like a ‘bat out of hell’ until the wheels came off.

Now, those plastic guitar shaped controllers that ‘used to be cool’, suddenly became…erm…well rather embarrassing; generating feelings akin to seeing your dad step onto the dance floor or hearing your mum sing along to Tupac with wild abandon. Those pieces of plastic have ‘now gone to rest’ in the cupboard of anyone with a sense of shame. And so they should.

For a long time it used to be a criticism by ‘real guitar players’ that although you are ‘playing’ along to a track you were never actually ‘playing the guitar’ but really just pressing a range of coloured buttons in time with the beat. I used to feel like the child the other kids laughed at in school, the one that no one talks to because whilst my friends could play ‘no woman, no cry’ in real life on a real guitar all I could do was download the track pack from PSN and bop around my front room like a fool.

Well, they’ll all pay now, because whilst Rocksmith is very similar to games significant of its genre, it’s not the same at all. Yes you have to hit sequences of notes in time, yes they come down a ‘virtual highway’ and yes it has that whole ‘You Rock!’ mentality with a playlist that opens up in time the better you get, but no, it is not the same, not the same at all.

In Rocksmith you see, you use a real guitar. Not a plastic guitar. Or a controller shaped like a guitar; a real guitar with real strings and real notes. You will hear no clicking as you flick the fret or press the buttons because there are none. For a non-musician like me it was almost overwhelming putting it on – there was this whole ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ feeling. I’m not going to lie here I felt like a man.

Using the RealTone cable included in the box I hooked my real guitar up to my PS3 and that was it. Like Rock Band the game takes you really slowly through how the game mechanics actually work. As I said before for those who have played Guitar hero or Rock Band you will feel right at home and I think this is what the developers wanted; familiarity. At first you’re just hitting single notes as they move down towards the virtual neck of the guitar, the notes even rotate to show when to hit them. With single notes it is easy to think you are a rock god because you are playing riffs from Rolling Stones’ ‘Satisfaction’ or hitting note after note in ‘Go With the Flow’ by Queens of the Stone Age. I found it very rewarding and pleasing to both the eyes and ears.

However it is then that the difficulty is ramped up as you are introduced to chords, solos and other things that make you appreciate the playing dexterity of Clapton, Sting or Queen, yes, playing the guitar is a craft in itself.

Thankfully there are a wealth of options  users can access which provide mini-games, practice arenas and challenges to help you in your bid to become more proficient. Technique challenges include chord play, slides, sustains, hammer-ons and pull-offs. Challenges adopt the same dynamic difficulty setting as the main game, and this ensures players grow accustomed to techniques before mastering them. There is also a Guitar-arcade which contains a technique-based mini-games which is fun, transforming genuine skills into enjoyable side quests.

I thought the soundtrack ranged from o.k to good, but even then it was nowhere near as good as it should be. However I spared a thought for the developers Ubisoft who are going to have to go through the nightmare of negotiating licence fees etc. It is well documented how horrendous it was for the developers of Guitar Hero and let’s face it you weren’t actually playing a guitar back then so you weren’t actually learning the chords or could play it away from the game. Here you could actually learn the chords on a friends machine and play it on your guitar at home so how much fun is going to be had with copyright issues remains to be seen.

My only other criticism of this game and perhaps the most important issue is that guitar games have been done to exhaustion. Yes it’s different, yes you can learn guitar playing skills from the game (obviously it can’t prevent you from having bad form or bad technique, that would be for a tutor to correct) but in doing so you have lost the whole pick up and play value from the game. Granted many young people may want to learn to play the guitar and I am not for one second saying the game isn’t fun, but you’ll have to not only spend the money for the title and guitar but be dedicated to essentially learning a new skill. I just can’t help but feel some of the accessibility is gone – however, it must be said if that was what was needed to rebuild music games of this type on the consoles then that was exactly what needed to happen and more power to Ubisoft for doing something which should have happened a long time ago.

O.k so onto the verdict –

Rock Band games of old have finally come to maturity. Rocksmith isn’t provide a fast-track solution to guitar playing and won’t magically turn you into a rock god however it will motivate players to keep on playing and even better get more players together. Rich in rewards, progress and achievement it is a great title to have. However this title is not for everyone, but if you’re prepared to put in the hours and make those fingers ‘hurt real bad’, Rocksmith can be a useful learning perfect learning tool, hitting all the right notes.

8.5 / 10

Borderlands 2 Game Review

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Software developers Gearbox have brought Borderlands back to consoles and PC’s in a rage of gunfire, explosions and… erm…cocky one liners…YES the eagerly awaited Borderlands 2 is finally here with more co-op action than you would see if you typed a couple of naughty words into your Google search box, but has the wait been worth it?

I have to be completely honest – I was never a real fan of the original Borderlands game. I loved the cell shaded graphics, the vast landscapes, the let’s get a bigger and bigger gun ideology but the title never really pushed my buttons. I don’t know whether that was due to the bad timing in terms of the release of the game (at that time we were living in a market saturated with FPS – that’s First Person Shooters to anyone who hasn’t got their geek diploma) or whether that was down to so many other games delivering more in terms of playability, explosions and remarkable set pieces (Call of Duty, Battlefield – yes Im talking about you).

Borderlands 2 delivers on all these levels and brings more to the table. But, and it’s a big BUT is up against the same competition as last time. Granted they pushed for a slightly earlier release this time round BUT Dishonoured, Medal of Honour and Black Ops 2 are just around the corner, and these are highly established titles – they had better bring the noise.

First of all for those new to the game it is only prudent to explain what Borderlands 2 actually is; it’s an open world shooter. Think of your role as a space-cowboy / mercenary – You are a good guy / girl but you use bad methods – well, erm…any method to get the job done. Like the first game it’s a FPS and the action is still set on the planet Pandora, however this time there is a much more serious over-arching plot. Pandora you see is in the grip of some kind of war between a dark business entity known at the Hyperion Corporation and a rag-tag band of freedom fighters. Hyperion’s leading bad guy is a character called Handsome Jack, who has taken it upon himself to cleanse the planet of any non-Hyperion beings – pretty radical eh? Once you choose your character you join up with the rebel movement – led by the four characters from the original game. Jack intends on unleashing some sort of WMD upon the planet and it is down to you and your rag-tag team to bring some kind of order to the chaos.

Like the first Borderlands, players have a choice of four character classes to pick from. There’s Salvador, the Gunzerker, a raging slab of muscle and testosterone whose special powers is dual-wielding weapons. There’s Maya, the Siren, who is able to project a forcefield around enemies and drag them out of cover. There’s Axton, the Commando, who can deploy a machine-gun turret  and finally, there’s Zero, the assassin, whose powers involve turning invisible in order to slide up close to enemies and then dismembering them with a katana.

Your main base of operations is in a hub town called Sanctuary. Like most open world games you have the main mission and then side quests which operate to give you more experience or open up greater weapons and advanced options. When you are not tackling side quests or the main missions you are free to explore Pandora, a planet vast and varied enough to clock up bountiful gaming hours. There is just enough distinctly themed caves, regions and cities each with their own atmosphere and day-to-night cycle to keep the gaming fresh and un-repetitive. I found this iteration of Pandora to be much more eye catching than its predecessor and owing to the various bonuses I found It’s immediately much more rewarding to explore in every sense. In no time at all the hours can rack up and they believe me they do.

Combat hasn’t changed one bit since its predecessor; ‘hey, see that big monster type thing? Avoid its attacks – right now…Good, very good…o.k rain down attacks on the beast until it explodes and pick up all the rewards – now use the rewards to upgrade…upgrading means a bigger gun stupid…now go find some more monster things!’. Get the picture? Borderlands 2 is a shooter pure and simple. It is no different to any other shooter except that it has cell shaded graphics and the characters dont give a damn.

However that is not to say that this is a bad game, indeed its quite the opposite, Borderlands 2 is definitely an improvement on its predecessor. The characters seem more three dimensional this time round and you can talk to nearly most of the characters in the game and the voice acting is spot on. Gearbox went out of their way to ensure the game can be as non-linear as possible should you choose to play it that way. True, there are the usual fetch quests, repair quests, and chasing down bandit caravans for scrap metal, but in the midst of the basic staple diet there are also some niceties such a pizza delivery mission involving some sewer-dwelling ninjas or a quest to help Moxxi get even with an ex-boyfriend. I think its scenes like these that say it all about Borderlands 2. It is full of memorable moments and characters and not to mention dry crass jokes that came across like a mix of lollypop chainsaw and south park.

The real fun though happens when you team up with your friends online. Do that and Borderlands 2 becomes far more of an interesting and fun game. What was once an irritating journey from A to B becomes a kill them all road trip with your pals, getting into a four seater buggy and going out with the intention of getting into as many scrapes and distractions as possible. A 20-minute romp for Billy ‘no mates’ is quickly transformed into an hour-long epic after a night at the pub full of the sorts of stories you just won’t stop talking about.

O.k so onto the verdict –

I do think Borderlands 2 is a great game but not an ‘all out fantastic must buy’; the reason? Well, it’s not something that you won’t have or will play anywhere else – unless you are scratching your neck for your next fix of Modern Warfare or Battlefield, genuinely have too much time on your hands or really have a spare £40 burning a hole in your pocket I would say hold out just a little bit longer as some real gems are just over the horizon and when they come out the price of this will drop like a stone.

Having said that though this game is definitely fun and by no means a crap game – just a bit more of an acquired taste. If you are a fan of the original game, you should rejoice, this game brings more of what you enjoyed in the first game and can be a real treat.

8.5 / 10

Sleeping Dogs Video Game Review

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Unlike my many of contemporaries I knew about Sleeping Dogs a long time ago – it was formerly going to be released as True Crime – Hong Kong, that was until Activision dropped it to focus on ‘more lucrative’ titles. Utterly disappointed, I was overjoyed when developers Square Enix and United Front Games decided on taking up the challenge. Only problem was, I knew that by the time the game would have been released the title would have been in development for near on over two and a half years – and believe it or not, that is a hell of a long time in video gaming land; things move on very quickly and it would take something special for any title to come out on top after that kind of delay.

The first True Crime was something special, a mix of free open world and a gripping crime story at its centre. It played out like an interactive ‘choose your own adventure’ book from the 80’s with multiple paths giving you different endings and incorporating some impeccable voice talent from the likes of Christopher Walken and Gary Oldman. Its sequel True Crime: New York City was a lacklustre affair with little going for it besides the hip-hop soundtrack and evolved graphics. It was little wonder then that the idea here was to ‘reboot’ the series.

The wait for Sleeping Dogs may have been lengthy and done the game no real favours graphically at least, but the wait in development means that what we have here is way better than its predecessors and stands up adequately to most open world titles of its generation.

In Sleeping Dogs you play as Wei Shen, a Hong Kong native who has returned after spending some time in the States. Driven by a desire to avenge his sister’s death, he accepts an undercover op’ to infiltrate the Sun On Yee triad and help take them down from the inside. It’s a typical tale of an undercover cop getting in way too deep and typical of the Hollywood movies it is based upon the story is full of more twists and turns than a rally car racetrack. Similar to another open world title that this is bound to be compared to – Grand Theft Auto – you start out on the lowest rungs of the criminal ladder, completing various missions in order to prove your loyalty and ascend the ranks. This often means that sometimes you will do things like a cop – for example busting criminals or following and doing surveillance jobs for the police – and other times like a triad – delivering drugs, operating drug rackets and beating other gangs to a pulp. Wei’s police superiors suspect he’s getting in too deep and there is this whole ‘brother’ loyalty thing that operates within the gang which means that you constantly have to prove yourself to get in deeper in order to take out the bad guy. No pressure then.

Thankfully the fantastic voice acting and skilful story writing bring this game to life in the way only Stranglehold and Max Payne 3 could achieve; successfully managing to blend English and Cantonese into a compelling storyline on par with the best action films.

None of the individual elements in Sleeping Dogs are the best-in-class; graphics are above average but nothing to write home about; club scenes don’t sizzle the way they do in Max Payne; dance floors are empty compared to the heaving floors seen in Payne 3. Character models tend to look like plastic dolls when viewed up close, and some gestures characters make are rigid and unnatural. Rather shamefully too, there are some repeat palette and character models seen akin to The Amazing Spiderman game of late.

Sleeping Dogs’ combat mechanic is lifted straight out of Batman’s Arkham Series with one button used for countering attacks and the other used to initiate a combo, there is a slight variation – holding the attack button down and you deliver a hard attack. But come on; lets be honest it is standard fare. I found the counter attack button to be rather sloppy; sometimes countering and other times failing to do so which was annoying as well as frustrating when you are surrounded by enemies and have limited life. Where Sleeping Dogs differs to similar systems is with the emphasis on environment attacks. The circle button is used for grabbing and once you have hold of an opponent held you can deliver a number of combos to eliminate them. In most places once grabbed you can drag enemies to certain objects around you and use these things to finish them off for example throw them into a fish tank or whack their head into a speaker. These environmental finishers are satisfying to see and later when you are surrounded by enemies you realise that doing a finisher can get rid of some opponents quickly and thus give you more time to take on the more powerful assailants uninterrupted.

One criticism that can’t be levelled at Sleeping Dogs is the capturing the atmosphere of Hong Kong. The market place is a good example, loads of people populate it, you hear people chattering, market sellers screaming at you to buy their pirate DVDs, cooks fry things up in restaurants, merchants hock their wares at the marketplace, and dancers perform at a street festival it’s all very enjoyable and when you do find a market seller you like the clothing of you try to go back there – just as in real life presumably. This city may not be accurately modelled on the real thing, but it nonetheless has a powerful identity all of its own. 

Driving in Sleeping Dogs feels good. Arcade style handling makes it easy to hop into any vehicle and tackling corners in no time. Like another title – Driver – sometimes you have to escape police presence or take out other Triads in their vehicles. Here it is done with equal merit; Cars spin out of control, explode or flip over and any passengers in the car you are in give you the respect you are owed. Later there are shoot-outs that involve shooting out the tires of pursuing cars which, whilst not particularly challenging is still thrilling and later in the game Wei also has the ability to perform action hijacks, leaping from one vehicle to another and forcibly taking the driver’s place. It’s an outrageous move that gives Sleeping Dogs a bit more of that Hong Kong action movie feel.

Big Guns aren’t a major focal point in Sleeping Dogs as the action tends to centre on Martial Arts. When shoot-outs happen they are loud, brash and in your face. Gun combat makes use of the now standard cover system, and though it doesn’t quite measure up to the intensity seen in other games, there are more than a few dramatic touches. You can vault over tables or other objects, you can slip into a slow-motion aiming mode, taking enemies out as you speed forward. You can also mix up combat and gunplay together, for example you can quickly disarm an enemy and use his gun to take out others. There are some memorable cinematic scenes for example one shoot-out takes place in a hospital with nurses and doctors becoming involved in the fray – very good indeed.

In all sandbox games you have a staple of side missions. Sleeping Dogs is no exception; here there are loads to do, from taking over drug rackets to sending out a message to other gangs to helping people that your gang protects. You can even try your hand at Karaoke. Everything helps to raise your ‘face’ the currency in this game which equates to respect. The city is huge and there is a lot to do. The game is far from linear but in contrast is at its best when it is and the story is unravelling.

Regrettably there is no multiplayer in this title – and for that it may always come second place to the likes of Grand Theft Auto and Max Payne. What it does do is incorporate a system similar to the Auto Log mode whereby in certain tasks and challenges you are measured against your friends and other players. Certain missions can be replayed too. This keeps a certain level of replayability but not much.

My verdict

True Crime…um sorry Sleeping Dogs may be a title that we have we have waited wei too long for, but is well worth playing. Yes, graphically it is not out of this world but the storyline is compelling, the gameplay interesting and immersive and more than able to stand its own against other titles in its genre. With the Limited Edition of the game costing the same as most premium titles it is a bargain and should be snapped up pronto.

9.1/10

The Dark Knight Rises Review

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I don’t mind saying that I struggled putting this film review together; there are so many people who have already seen The Dark Knight Rises – a film which is now being called the ‘motion picture epic of the summer’ that almost very little remains to be said. As such I was left with a dilemma; do I re-trod old ground of other reviewers, do I try to fill the gaps left by the countless other reviews without giving the plot away or do I try to find a fresh perspective to describe this incredible movie?

The Dark Knight Rises is the final chapter in Christopher Nolan’s epic Batman trilogy; a set of films disparate to any other superhero movies previously seen. Looking at the Avengers and Iron Man films of recent generation it is easy to forget that comic book films formerly prided themselves on suiting their primary audience (which were children) opting for jokey style film making and humour. Caped Crusader (and Bond) films especially were synonymous for focussing on the gadgets rather than on the characterisation. However thank heavens for Mr Nolan, (himself a fan of the Batman comics) because fortunately for us he hadn’t gone through the whole Peter Pan thing – he actually grew up, and as such brought the film bang up to date in a massive, grimy and brutally honest way. Over the past two movies (and equally in this movie) you have villains that actually scare you (The Joker portrayed  by Heath Ledger was actually psychotic) and when we talk about crime syndicates we actually see about the dark and dismal pits of crime corruption where you can trust no one. Written by David S. Goyer, Jonathan Nolan and Bob Kane what we have here in The Dark Knight Rises an incredible master class in film making, fantastic acting from all performers and an astonishing end to perhaps the best film of the summer.

It has been eight years since Batman vanished into the night, turning, in that instant, from hero to fugitive. Taking the blame for the death of D.A. Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), the Dark Knight became a fugitive sacrificing everything so that a law which Dent wanted to pass would go through. For a time the lie worked; officers fought with vigour and criminal activity in Gotham City was crushed under the anti-crime Dent Act. However the arrival of Bane, a masked terrorist with incredible strength and will power and who threatens to crush Gotham city brings Batman out of retirement for one last battle. Oh yes and the arrival of a sexy cat burglar too. The stage is set.

Watching this film I was trying to remember the last time I saw so much emotion in a superhero film. Christian Bale easily carries his part as both billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne and as the Dark Knight. Gosh that man has got so much talent. You can tell he gave the role everything, from the visceral fight scenes to the moment to moment realities with his butler Alfred (played impeccably well by Michael Caine) you just can’t help but believe him and in his cause. When Batman does show up – it is incredibly exciting. Equally well played is Tom Hardy as the super-villain, aptly called Bane; a slab of muscle and brutal killing power, every appearance on screen just makes you think something bad is going to happen. Anne Hathaway plays the part of slinky, sexy cat burglar Cat woman. She carries her role well and for the most part is easy on the eye and provides some much needed breaks between the bloody and dark tone of the rest of the film.

And what a dark tone it is – a vision of near apocalyptic catastrophe that quickly swishes through the near 3 hour running time with action, explosions, suspense and twists and turns in spades.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt gives a terrific performance as the young, idealistic police officer, Detective Blake, and there are some excellent role reprisals from Morgan Freeman and even Liam Neeson.

It is sad to think that this is the ‘reportedly’ last Batman movie under Christopher Nolan’s direction. I don’t believe his movies will be forgotten for quite some time. Bearing in mind the amount of money this film has already made at the box office – it is doubtful that we have seen the last of the Caped Crusader one can only hope that the future iterations will be as good as this.

If you havent seen the final instalment in the Batman Trilogy make it your aim to do so – it is a fantastic film.

Verdict

9.5/10

The Amazing Spider-man Movie Review

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The Amazing Spider-man catapults onto movie screens with a direction, new actors, a re-buffed script, and some would say darker story-telling than its predecessor, but do these facets make the film more of worthwhile return to the franchise or does this reboot deserve a boot to the chops?

Critics can be forgiven for thinking that this is an ‘all too soon’ reboot for perhaps one of the best loved comic book superheroes of a recent generation. On one hand you had the excellent depiction of Spider-man by Sam Raimi with Tobey Maguire providing perhaps an over innocent and goofy Peter Parker / Spider-man. On the other hand though one could argue that the last series of movies became stale, that there were missed opportunities and that it had definitely run its course. However, Marvel was not ready to throw in the towel and who could blame them; Spider-man had made a lot of money for the studio and undoubtedly put them back on the map. Whatever you may say about reboots it is fast becomingHollywood’s tool-of-choice, especially where successful franchises are perhaps on the way out. For the creators, it’s a handy shortcut and for audiences it is an opportunity to see a new vision of a beloved character. Let’s just hope Harry Potter doesn’t have a reboot any time soon.

I wouldn’t have liked to have been in the head office of Marvel Studios when they came up with the plan to do this reboot. Approaching this movie was going to be a one shot gun; they knew they were either going to re-energise the title or kill it. Restore the hope to millions of spidey fans, or destroy it. They were going to have to throw nothing less than the kitchen sink at it and it shows. Fortunately end result is a film that manages to tread a fine line between being respectful to the original source material and Sam Raimi’s creation whilst bringing something new to the table and, at the same time is genuinely fun and exciting to watch.

Andrew Garfield, steps into the role of Peter Parker / Spider-man. This iteration no longer goofy, hapless or over exaggerated; this Peter Parker is actually smart, stands up to bullies even before he gains his super powers and typical of the ‘Twilight generation’ is always brooding and staring into space. His central love interest here isn’t girl-next-door Mary Jane Watson, but the equally intelligent Gwen Stacy (played by the gorgeous Emma Stone). New to this film is the working on Parker’s history with his parents. Although we are introduced to them only briefly it is their abandonment of Peter which creates a deeper shading of the character not previously seen in the previous carnations.

It’s worth saying at this point that the dynamics between Emma Stone’s character and Andrew Garfield work really, really well. They somehow manage to take the awkwardness of high-school love and make it fun and intense. Sometimes it’s not even what they say it’s what they don’t say. An unforgettable moment involves Peter and Gwen on the top of a roof with Peter trying to explain what has happened to him. ‘I’ve been bitten,’ he stammers. She leans in close with her slow husky whisper: ‘So have I’. Peter grins like a cat that has just got the cream. Now ask yourself what more do I need to say than that?

Everyone should know the plot of Spider-man by now and if you don’t, go and see a Doctor and find out where you have been for the past 10 years. Peter Parker gets bitten by a spider and whilst not gaining the extra 6 hairy legs, finds he embodies all of the positives of spider traits such as sticking to walls having extra perception (spider sense) and increased strength amongst other things.

The problem here is that Sam Raimi really did the bite and the transformation well. After the bite, we get the usual scenes of Peter’s realising he has extra powers, and events transpire that inevitably transform him into your friendly neighbourhood wall-crawler. Director Marc Webb does his best to make these sequences fresh and come at it from a new angle but try as he might you know that you have seen it before. Whilst there are some genuinely original and comic book moments, it’s hard not to fold your arms and sigh as you wait for the movie to get on with things. I also found that this version just seemed to lack that excitement that Peter had actually unlocked something special that was going to change his life or that his life actually needed to change.

Raimi’s creation had webbing ‘secrete’ from Parker’s wrists, however in this much more realistic and truer to the comic book version you see Parker develop the web shooters himself through trial and error. This version of Spider-man is also a lot grittier; every now and then he does something unpredictable which errs on the mentally serious side and you find yourself harking back to Maguire’s goofy jokey Spider-man and you are glad that you are watching this. Far from Raimi’s ideas of super quick healing, this Peter Parker goes home black and blue from bruising; when he gets cut he bleeds and even gets injured to the point where he has to rely on fellow citizens to help.  There are some nice nods towards Raimi’s creation here and there as well, such as the wrestling ring which makes an appearance.

For every hero there is a villain, this new plot concerns the development of Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans), experimenting with a serum that eventually turns him into The Lizard. It’s hardly different, in concept or execution, from Willem Dafoe as The Green Goblin complete with him hearing voices. Rhys Ifans does a terrific job with what he has, there just needed to be more in the script for him to do and say. It might also have been worth choosing a different villain to start with owing to the similarities that were bound to be drawn with the Green Goblin.

Despite the various differences, there are some solid key performances Sally Field does a really good job as Parker’s Aunt May and Martin Sheen deserves some credit because, even though I’ve read people accuse him of overacting, he does do a marvellous job as Ben Parker even when the script is thin. Somehow he manages to squeeze more emotional resonance than he has had previously.  Stan Lee appears too in a library scene that will be talked about for a while as one of his best cameos. Dennis Leary though has a character which barely touches on the surface.

When the red and blue costume make an appearance you feel like you are on familiar ground. The new suit which I have never liked has well and truly grown on me. The special effects are fantastic, perhaps never looking so good in 3D and well worth every penny of the extra price to get in. Whereas with the Avengers and Green Lantern movies you got the occasional scene in 3D here, Director Marc Webb treats you to long sweeping vistas of web swinging action. Explosions, debris, webs, it’s got the most 3D I have seen in a superhero movie so far with effects that actually work. When spider-man flies though the air in 3D you take a deep breath, when the camera does switch to 1st person perspective you go ‘wow’ these scenes are shorter than those seen in the trailer which is a shame but they still pack a punch for the eyes.

There are allusions to other characters in the Spider-man universe here as well which give the movie a larger sense of scale for example, you hear Norman Osborne mentioned and it will be interesting to see how he will factor into future movies. The story flows well throughout the entire movie but I found it was weighted kind of oddly with all the action seemingly occurring in the last half of the movie after Peter develops his skills. It is a great deal choppier than Raimi’s creation. However, here we have a Spider-man that’s more human than before and is perhaps just as flawed as the rest of us.  Watching this I didn’t feel like I was looking at a superhero, but a kid in a skin-tight suit that has no idea what the hell he is doing and is making it up as he goes along. It is the moments when there is nothing happening such as when Parker is dangling on a web playing a game on his mobile, or on a statue above the city when he takes a call from Aunt May and agrees to pick up some eggs that give insight to the character. This is what many people love about Spider-man; he is after all just a kid granted special powers and underneath the suit is someone still learning to fit in as well as grow with what he has.

My Verdict

I think Garfield’s work as Peter Parker and Spider-man is the glue that holds this film together. I know I am going to upset Maguire fans but Garfieldis a much better fit for this type of role. His portrayal of Peter is much more angst driven and is still growing and evolving even by the story’s conclusion. The film doesn’t even close with him working at the Daily Bugle he is still at school; therefore you just know there is more to come. I would not say that this film is a new Batman Begins or could even compare to that masterpiece. However, this Spider-man reboot feels like a fresh start; an origin story that can stand on its own or be the start of something even better.  It’s not perfect; weak script, choppy editing, flaws and moments that feel almost staged and even artificial.  But it is an optimistic start, a new direction and new promise. One last word to the wise – stay until after the initial credits…

8 / 10

The Amazing Spider-man Game Review

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Whilst The Amazing Spider-man Video Game may lack the all out ‘spit and polish’ of some premium titles it does bring something new to movie-game tie-ins of late; it is genuinely fun and exciting to play, is full of features and successfully regenerates the Spider-man franchise under software developer Beenox.

Excuse the pun but Spider-Man’s web franchise has been a bit of a sticky web in terms of quality and variety over the past number of years. When it has been good it has been great, but let’s face it when it has been bad, it has been crap. Beenox have been in-charge of the franchise since the highly acclaimed Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions, a game that really showed what could be achieved when game’s developers who love the material actually put their minds into bringing the concept to life and who are willing to put in blood, sweat and tears so that new ideas become reality and that these ideas work well. It was for these reasons amongst others that Shattered Dimensions was so well received. Tragically though, the follow up – Edge of Time saw Beenox dropping the ball somewhat almost spectacularly by condemning our beloved wall crawler to confined spaces, changing the control system so that it was tricky to play and having a ho-hum storyline that did little to engage players.

Listening to the critics of Edge of Time and looking at the efforts put into what some would say the ‘all too soon’ reboot of the Spider-man franchise Beenox knew they had to up their game. Mentality wise, they had to approach this just like Marvel Studios were going to approach the movie – it was going to be a one shot gun; they knew they were either going to re-energise the title or kill it. Restore the hope to millions of spidey fans, or destroy it.

Games that successfully manage to re-create the magic of comic books and movies is no mean feat; superhero games especially have a hard time translating the mass of abilities with ease of control. With the exception of Rocksteady and their Batman franchise there are few others that actually do it well. Thankfully though, Beenox fulfilled what some would say is a tall order The Amazing Spiderman plays very well indeed, in places it is incredibly cinematic and having it linked so closely to a movie which is heavily anticipated does it no harm at all.

The story in The Amazing Spider-Man the video game takes place some months after where the movie ended. After the Dr. Connors’ incident, Oscorp Industries went on to create an army of robots that maintain peace inNew York, scanning and attacking infected life forms. Unfortunately Oscorp also continued Connors’ research into cross-species and in one of the opening stages these potentially walking infectious diseases attack and infect Parker’s high school sweetheart: Gwen Stacey and escape intoManhattan, infecting innocents on the way. This leaves Spider-Man with no choice but to break Connors out of prison and work together with him to come up with an antidote to cure the infection in the city and save his girlfriend Gwen.

Set in a free-roaming open-world you will protect innocents of the city, battle with the infected, come across and battle super villains, tackle muggers and other perps of criminal activity all with the ability to explore and swing to your heart’s content.

The mechanic feels great and both looks and works tremendously well. Out in the city whilst you are web-slinging the camera moves in nice and close, and there is this immense feeling of motion, propulsion, gravity, speed and not to mention impressive grace. Swinging through the city you can swing really low between traffic like the movie, you can also free fall and swing at the last second. If you have seen any of the previous Spider-Man movies, you’ll experience that same feeling Peter Parker did the first time he mastered his new abilities. Sometimes in the game you even hear the character whoop with excitement as he enjoys the rush of flying through the air. This helps bring the game to life and I thought a nice touch by the developers who obviously had the master of movement as one of their core angles for this title. It is something perhaps I might not get tired of for a while and in my view makes up for any lack of online multi-play which could have further benefitted this game.

Combat wise this title doesn’t disappoint either. Spidey can confront enemies head on or attack from the shadows. Much has been borrowed from the control method of the Arkham series of Batman games; a single button to initiate and carry out a combo which builds your combo meter with every successful hit, and when the spider-sense goes off around Spider-Man’s head, you know someone is about to attack you so you tap the reversal button to stylishly take them out.

I’ve heard some reviewers complain that it is ‘too borrowed’ from Batman (including the degradable suit) but how can you realistically complain when a formula works so well. It makes it easy to look like a superhero when you skillfully drop down above an unsuspecting enemy, web them into a cocoon and propel them to the ceiling. If you don’t fancy going down the stealth route then you can take them on one by one or in a group with webs and signature moves galore which can be upgraded. Very nice indeed.

New to this Spider-man game is the inclusion of Web Rush. By holding a shoulder button, time slows down and you go into Spider-man’s ‘eyes’ where you can look at and select locations you desire to zip-line to, interact with or attack. It’s an elegant way to get Spider-Man around quickly and in a room full of enemies it allows you to quickly see objects you can use to your advantage.

Of course, there are some areas in which this title falls short of the mark and whilst they are not in my opinion deal breakers (because they are common issues found in most open world games) they do detract from what would otherwise be a quality title. Firstly, whilst the model for Spider-Man is exceptional, there are ten times as many average looking character models in the game. So many people just look the same bar a few palette changes here and there and many sound the same or say the same things. This equally goes for many of the adventures you have around the city. The first time you stop a robbery and hear Spidey deliver a cool line like ‘Stay frosty’ you are going to be excited and the second time and the third but by the time you take out your 15th armed robber who looks or sounds the same or has stolen exactly the same car, stopping robberies wont be high on your agenda. There’s a lot to do in the life of Spider-man but be prepared to repeat these missions over and over again; you’ll hear the same one-liners from Spidey and help the same police officer over and over again. That’s one of the things I think LA Noire got right; each of the side missions were individual crimes in their own right. This is an area for improvement for any future titles. Secondly, Spider-man falls foul of another typical issue of open world titles which is of graphical dexterity. Some of the surfaces especially those which are indoor just lack that spit and polish and look gaudy up close. I found this more noticeable on the Xbox version than on the PlayStation 3 but really, should it be there at all? There are also some niggling camera issues especially when you are in combat or adopting a stealth approach to attacking enemies. Sometimes you’ll find yourself backed into a corner that brings almost certain death and inevitably, some frustration.

On the PlayStation 3 you can play with the PlayStation Move. Now before you get images of two motion controllers in your hands flicking your webs acrossManhattan, think again. You hold a navigation controller or regular controller in your left hand and then the PlayStation Move controller in the right.

Basically, the Move puts a cursor on the screen and gives you a more accurate way to Web Rush or fire webbing. That is, rather than cycling through your options with the right analogue stick you can now just point. Flicking the Move also does an immediate Web Retreat. Whilst it works o.k. and has some novelty value I found it by no means a necessity. I played through the game with normal controls and never actually felt like more precise aiming would greatly help me or make the game any easier; in fact using the move controller just made my arm tired for all the wrong reasons.

The Verdict

With stunning visuals, decent enough storyline and lets not forget incredible web-slinging, Spider-man might not be the best game but is probably one of the best movie tie-ins of late. Fair play some of the missions get repetitive and some of the graphics are rough around the edges but The Amazing Spider-Man is still fun to play and gets me really excited when I think about the movie release next week.

8.5 / 10