Well I finally did it. I managed to find someone who will put up with me for the rest of my life. Most little girls dream came true when my boyfriend of three years whisked my off to Paris on the Eurostar for our anniversary and proposed. I ecstatically said yes and upon our return bought far too many wedding magazines, and realised just how hard planning a wedding was going to be. Don’t get me wrong. I am not exactly fazed by planning big things. I planned the launch party for Frost Magazine and had over 300 guests. It went off without a hitch even though the venue canceled on us a few days before. I have also made a full length feature film. I have the skills and the staying power but what I don’t have is £21,000 to spend on a party. Only one person has mentioned the outdated thing of the women’s parents paying, all of my friends paid for their own wedding and I am not asking my parents for money. I am the editor of this magazine, a freelance writer and actor.
Somehow this is not even the issue. Neither my fiancee or I think it is reasonable to spend that amount of money on one day of your life. Other difficulties are that my family live in Scotland and my fiance’s family live in England. Getting all of these people together in a convenient, reasonably priced venue doesn’t feel like the easiest thing.
Also as a half catholic, half protestant agnostic I have found out that I cannot even get married in a church because I was not christened as my parents, quite rightly, wanted me to choose my own religion. If I want to get married I will have to attend church or do a course. Neither of these seem appealing and I don’t have a lot of free time.
So join my on my journey from engaged woman to bride. I will be writing lots of wedding articles and advice to go along with my personal experience. Please comment and tell me your thoughts and give any advice. We are planning to get married in June of next year so we don’t actually have much time to get everything done. It is all quite exciting and scary.
We have a brillaint article on buying the perfect engagement ring if you want to send it to your boyfriend to drop some hints.
Buying the perfect diamond engagement ring is not easy. There are serious hurdles to navigate and hopefully this article will help you with some of them. You’re about to spend a serious amount of money you need to keep her happy, remember she’s going to be wearing this thing for the rest of her life but you also don’t want to get ripped off!
How much should you spend?
The first thing to remember with this is that everyone will try and bully you into spending as much money as possible. No matter how much your actually planning to spend you will be made to feel like its not enough. Walk into a jewelers planning to spend £5000 and they will gently make you feel as though your budget is inadequate and encourage you to spend more. Magazines will insist that you spend a minimum of three months salary. The industry is very cleverly set up to make you spend as much as possible. Don’t feel pressured. Set a budget on what your happy to spend and stick with it. Remember you’ve got a wedding to pay for! If she loves you she will love the ring no matter what. If she’s the sort of women who checks the size of the ring before saying yes or no shes not worth marrying in the first place. That all being said know one likes a cheap skate so a £10 ring from Tesco is not going to cut it so keep reading.
Online or Not Online?
I love to make savings buying stuff online but diamond engagement rings are a definite exception. Every stone looks different and you must see it in person before you buy it, no picture will ever tell the story so forget about buying online. It also will sound very unromantic when your fiancee asks where you bought the ring and your forced to tell her it’s from online.
With Her or Without Her?
If your worried about making a mistake you can buy a plain band for when you propose and then buy the ring with her so you can be sure you get one she likes. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. The advantage is you can be sure she gets what she wants.
The disadvantage is that your going to have to fork out if she falls in love with a ring. It also makes it much harder to negotiate when the jeweler knows you really want something. Proposing with a plain ring is also not as special and may detract from the moment.
Research
Doing your research is vital of you don’t want to make a mistake. It will mean you get the right ring and it could save you a fortune. The more you know the easier its going to be to negotiate and the more a jeweler will respect you.
Understanding the Four Cs
The look and value of a diamond is determined by four factors. Cut, Clarity, Carat and Colour
Cut
The cut is the only characteristic not determined by nature. A poorly cut diamond may have a compromised sparkle. The most common type of cut is the ’round cut’. In my opinion the traditional round cut or variations of it are by far the best cut because they sparkle the most, a lot more for example than the princess cut. However you should see all the cuts before making a decision. Types of cut include the the emerald, the pear, the marquise, the princess, the oval and the heart shape.
Clarity
The clarity is how perfectly the diamond has been formed in nature. Yes very few diamonds are perfectly flawless most will have little flaws which you can see under a magnifying glass. These flaws are called inclusions. Inclusions have a big impact on the value of a diamond
The grading of clarity according to the GIA (Gemmological Institute of America)
IF – Internally Flawless
VVS1 and VVS2 Very very slightly included inculsions which are very difficult to see even under 10x magnification
VS1 and VS2 – Very Slighty Included – Difficult to see under 10x magnification
SI1 and SI2 – Slightly Included – Easy for a trained grader to see under 10x magnification
I1, I2 – Included obvious inclusions usually visible to the naked eye
I3 – Large inclusions that typically impact the fire of the diamond and potentially threaten the structure of the stone
Inclusions are a big part of why you need to see a diamond in person. Inclusions can affect the sparkle or fire of a diamond. Sometimes a diamond which has a higher grade may actually have a bigger impact on sparkle than a lower grade. People can make to bigger deal about inclusions. Remember a diamonds inclusion make it unique. Personally I think the money you would spend to buy a VS diamond would be better spent on carat or colour. You should however try to avoid severe inclusions which might compromise a stones sparkle or structure. Again this a personal choice and you must find for yourself what you want but I think the SI categories often offers the best value. Remember though that two diamonds from the same category might look completely different. You must judge how the stone looks.
Colour
The most valuable and rare diamonds are colourless and are graded D. The colour scale runs from D to Z. Diamonds with a very distinct colour are rare and are called fancies. Diamonds typically get more yellowish as you move down the scale. Colour is important but again it is not something I would obsess over as long as you get a reasonable grade. You or your fiancee are not going to tell the difference between an F and an H. In my opinion I would suggest you can probably go up to a J without really having much idea that your diamond was slightly yellow. For me an I or H rating represent the best value but again these are all personal opinions you might find that for you only a D or E grade will do. Remember every stone is different trust your eyes don’t just focus on the grades.
Carat
The Carat or the weight and therefore size of the diamond. Not to be confused with karats the purity measure for gold. The carat has a big effect on value and is the first thing everyone will notice. As the size of the carat increases the price grows exponentially. Most diamonds for engagement rings fall between 0.25-2 carats. You will want to get as bigger carat as you can within your budget without compromising too much on the other Cs. Don’t believe everything your told by jewelers when it comes to carat. For example they may say to you on that budget you won’t be able to buy a carat bigger than X. I was initially shown much smaller diamonds than the one I was eventually able to buy.
Certified or Uncertified
A certified stone is – a diamond that has been assessed, graded and coded with a laser by an independent gemological laboratory. The most well known and recognised is GIA. Other popular certificates include HRD, IGL, EGL and AGS. The disadvantage of an uncertified stone is that you are trusting the jeweler. However a cert stone is usually a few hundred pounds more expensive. A cert stone will also ensure you have not been sold a fake. If you are buying a very expensive stone having a cert stone is probably worth it. If you have a smaller budget you may prefer to risk going without a cert stone. The decision must be yours. Diamonds can be artificially treated or fracture filled and sold legally although you must be told. Avoid these and avoid anything which is ‘clarity enhanced’.
Looking Out for Fakes
The ring itself
The most common rings today seem to be from white gold and platinum which both look quite similar. You can also go for a yellow gold or a white and yellow gold mix although personally i prefer the platinum or white gold look. Platinum is slightly more expensive than 18 karat white gold. Try and go for at at least 18 karats if you can, no one wants 9 karat gold for an engagement ring. Remember 9 karat gold is just 37.5% pure compared to 75% for 18 karat. If they can keep a secret try and glean information from your fiances family and friends as to what her taste is. You can differentiate your ring by choosing a variety of different settings although the diamond solitaire seen in the pictures above is the most common. If you can try and find out what size ring she takes from her friends or family. If you can’t, don’t worry too much any reputable jeweler will allow you to get it refitted although this may cost extra.
Buying the Diamond Ring
Where to Buy?
First of all set aside at least half a day don’t buy a ring in a rush. Do not buy from a high street jeweler you will almost certainly get ripped off and you will have limited choice. If you can try and go to an area where there are a lot of jewelers in one place. Hatton Gardens in London is the best place to go to. There are at least 30 jewelers next to each other. You can be assured of competition and a wide choice. Most of the jewelers also have good reputations.
Don’t Get Sucked In
First go around every store and check the windows to get an idea. People will probably come out and try and get you to come inside. Talk to them to get more information if you want but don’t go inside yet. Try and work out which shops are offering the best deals. Bear in mind that jewelers will display their best and usually most expensive wares. They will usually have more inside the store. Take pictures of any rings which catch your eye and move on.
When you’re ready choose a ring which you liked and go into the store and ask to have a look at it. Here’s where you can make use of all that research you’ve done. Ask the jeweler about the cut carat etc. Ask to see the ring under 10x jewelers loupe and on a white background (a black background can hinder the eyes perception of a diamonds colour). Ask if the ring is certified and who did the grading. Remember that an uncertified ring is not necessarily a bad thing and will usually mean a cheaper ring but is something you need to be aware of. Ask the jeweler what guarantees and warranties they offer.
Then ask if the jeweler has any similar rings to compare it to. All this will make it clear to the jeweler that you know what your talking about and it will make it easier to negotiate later. Don’t be afraid to take your time. Choose the ring which you like the most and ask the jeweler for his best price on that ring. Thank the jeweler make a note of the details of the ring and tell him/her you’ll be back if you don’t find anything better. Also remember to ask the jeweler about re-sizing costs, the setting and the material of the actual ring.
Go into the next shop and repeat until you have a really good picture of whats available and you know what you want.
How to Negotiate
Negotiating can be uncomfortable but you absolutely must do it. Remember they are the ones profiting from you and you have the power to go elsewhere. A general rule is to get at least 15%-20% off the list price at a minimum. Don’t seem too keen if you really want a particular ring.
A good first move is to ask the jeweler what his or her best price is. That should be your starting point for negotiations. Use your budget as a negotiating tool. When you’ve clinched the deal remember to get a receipt and remember to ask about fittings.Try and get one for free if you can.
With only 10 full days until the end of 2012, it’s time to get thinking about those all-important New Years Resolutions – What are you going to vow to stick to? Have you got something in mind you want to do that’ll make 2013 unforgettable?
For many couples that have been together for a relatively long time, the turning of a new year can often signify the pondering of the big question; “Will he or won’t he this year?” Yes, that’s right; I’m talking about the big decision of proposing.
Choosing the right time for get down on one knee can be a difficult decision as it is, but choosing the right ring can take on a new meaning of ‘difficult’ altogether; after all you know that you need to buy an engagement ring, but with so many colors, stones and styles available, you feel completely lost in the engagement-ring-jungle.
So, for those of you out there who are thinking that 2013 is going to be the year the for proposing to The One, in order to help you on your quest, here are my top tips for not only choosing the right ring, but for choosing a truly amazing one:
1. Listen To Everything Your Loved One Says
If you’ve got no clue what kind of ring your loved one would love, then a good tip is to listen to everything that the say – because chances are, they will mention things that they like – and if you’re listening hard enough, then they may even mention something to with rings specifically!
Things such as what colour ring they’d like, to even what stone they’d like may be mentioned on the off-chance, so rather than just nodding “yeah, yup, uh-huh” whilst pretending your listening like you usually do, it’ll definitely pay off to listen for once…
2. Ask Family and Friends
The family and friends of your loved one should be one of your first points of call, when it comes to deciding what ring to choose – after all, their mum, dad or siblings are bound to know exactly what they kind of ring they want!
If you also all chip in and put your heads together, chances are, you’ll all contribute to the choosing of a truly amazing ring. So, when you’re about to embark on stepping into the jewelers to take the plunge of buying a ring, make sure you take one of them with you – not only will they help you choose one, but at least you won’t have to take the sole blame if your choice isn’t to their liking!
3. Look At Their Other Rings For Sizes
Now I know what you’re thinking: “You have sizes for rings? Surely, they just come in small, medium and large, right?” Well, unfortunately for you they don’t – engagement rings or eternity rings sizes are normally determined by a range of letters.
So, if you have no clue what size your loved one is, then a good tip is to take one of their most worn rings and take it with you into the shop when you’re choosing one – the jewelers may then be able to determine what size ring they may need. However, it’s important to note what ring they normally wear that chosen ring on – after all, your ring finger is a completely different size to the middle or forefinger!
With royal wedding fever hitting an all time high there is a high number of women wondering if there boyfriend will pop the question. Kate waited by Prince Williams side for nearly a decade, earning herself the nickname ‘waity Katy’. It would seem that Kate, or Catherine as she now wants to be called, has had the last laugh. However, not all women want to get married, or remain undecided. While most men need quite a bit of a push in my experience. So, when is it the right time to make the commitment? What do you need to know first? Read the point below to find out if now is the right time to get married.
Are you in love?
There are many reasons why people think they should get married. Whether its peer pressure or because you have kids. Truth is, there is only one reason why you should get married: You’re in love. As long as you love someone it does not matter what life throws at you. They are the constant in your life. If you are unsure whether or not you’re in love; you’re not. If you are unsure if your boyfriend loves you, ask him or read this: How to tell if your boyfriend loves you
Are they your final emotional destination?
When you marry someone you are not just sharing your life, but also your soul and your DNA. You are forever joining together. Marriage is something to be taken seriously, do you really want to be with this person? It’s okay to have doubts, we all do. It is always possible that Angelina Jolie or George Clooney will want to marry you later, but the thing is; if you have found someone who loves you and you love them back you are blessed, people spend lifetimes trying to find the love of their lives. Don’t throw that away.
Are you just sliding into it?
Do you really want to get married or are you just sliding into it? Marriage is a mistake that’s hard to get out of unscathed – whether that be emotionally or financially. Being in a loveless marriage is something nobody should have to put up with. Don’t just get married because your mother is nagging you.
Do you just want a big day?
They say the most important day in a women’s life is her wedding day. I like to think this isn’t true, but it is still something women, and men!, buy into. After the dress, the presents and the honeymoon you will have to spend the rest of your life with this person. Not really worth one glamorous day.
Are you getting married because you (think) you are cracking on a bit?
Getting married because your nearly thirty isn’t a good enough reason. Although a women’s biological clock doesn’t work in her favour, marrying someone you don’t love – or worse, having a kid with someone you don’t love; a child ties you to that person forever- just because you feel pressure from society or your mother will never make you happy. Think of all the other thing you could do with your life; travel, focus on your career, study. There is a big world out there. You don’t need a husband (or wife) for that.
Do you know each other? Does the other person listen?
You have to know the person you are marrying. Can you communicate with them? Can you talk openly? If you tell your partner that something annoys you do they make the effort to change? If someone love you they will do anything they can to keep you around, they will care about your thoughts and feelings. You also have to accept the other person, good and bad.
And another thing…
Talk about finance, children, future goals together. It’s okay to be nervous, to be unsure, relationships are hard, but if you really love the person you are with, what are you waiting for?
Meet the Spencers: How to manage the in-laws on your (Royal) wedding day
There are just nine days to go until HRH Prince William of Wales ties the knot with Catherine Middleton, and no doubt pre-wedding jitters have well and truly set in.
But while most couples concern themselves with button-holes and buffets in the run up to the wedding, Wills and Kate have bigger problems afoot. The in-laws.
As the silver is polished, and the flowers are arranged, the happy couple will no doubt be contemplating the one part of the day they can’t control: their relatives. Will Uncle Gary create a spectacle when he flies in from La Maison de Bang Bang? And what’s cousin Amelia planning for her biggest public appearance since that incident at McDonald’s Cape Town?
Luckily for Wills and Kate, thecoupleconnection.net – an online DIY relationship support service, which helps couples deal with issues ranging from in-laws to infidelity and offers free marriage preparation materials – is on hand with some top tips for reeling in the rellies on their big day.
1. You can say what you like about your own family, but tread carefully when it comes to your partner’s. If Uncle Gaz chats up one of the Spencer girls on the edge of the dance floor, you’d do well to blooming button it, Wills.
2. Think through your seating plan carefully. Do you really want Earl Spencer on a table full of single girls? Would Lady Kitty and Chelsy Davy collude to turn a state occasion into a raucous night at Mahiki? Consider who you’d rather keep apart.
3. Have autonomy over your day. Wills and Kate know that ensuring you make the final decisions gives pushy grandmas less room for manoeuvre. Instead give relatives specific tasks that will make them feel valued without allowing them to interfere in other areas.
4. If you’re going to invite the black sheep of the family, take the pressure of yourself and insist your partner invites at least one oddball from their side, too.
5. Introduce the in-laws beforehand. If you think one side might be frosty, arrange a pre-wedding outing that will help break down barriers. Wine tasting usually works.
If all this fails, stuff them all and just elope.
Fortunately for the Royal couple, 29 April is likely to run smoothly. William and Kate undertook marriage preparation in the months leading up to the wedding and have most likely already discussed how to deal with any family issues that might arise.
For those that don’t have the Archbishop of Canterbury on speed dial, it’s now possible to prepare for the big day by working through thecoupleconnection.net’s “making a commitment” articles, which help address issues that may arise throughout a marriage – all in a space and time convenient to them, and without the need to sign up for more formal marriage preparation classes.
Well I finally did it. I managed to find someone who will put up with me for the rest of my life. Most little girls dream came true when my boyfriend of three years whisked my off to Paris on the Eurostar for our anniversary and proposed. I ecstatically said yes and upon our return bought far too many wedding magazines, and realised just how hard planning a wedding was going to be. Don’t get me wrong. I am not exactly fazed by planning big things. I planned the launch party for Frost Magazine and had over 300 guests. It went off without a hitch even though the venue canceled on us a few days before. I have also made a full length feature film. I have the skills and the staying power but what I don’t have is £21,000 to spend on a party. Only one person has mentioned the outdated thing of the women’s parents paying, all of my friends paid for their own wedding and I am not asking my parents for money. I am the editor of this magazine, a freelance writer and actor.
