Tag Archives: LGBT

YIELD – CLAIRE DYER’S MOVING AND DEEPLY PERSONAL POETRY COLLECTION ABOUT HER CHILD’S TRANSITION FROM SON TO DAUGHTER

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Reading Claire Dyer’s latest poetry collection, Yield, is to share an intimate journey told in a way very few people – if, indeed, anyone else – could tell it.

A collection of poems that tell a recognisable story is a rare and beautiful thing, but at times this story is not beautiful, although it does have a happy ending. As a mother, how do you feel when your son comes home and tells you that they are really your daughter? What does it mean to accompany them through their transition from one to the other?

The order of poems in any collection is key and Yield is punctuated by poems with the same name, but numbered; Yield, Clinic, Coming Out. They give the book unity and rhythm, and show the reader the key elements of the transition process, the ones that I guess everyone would go through.

Some readers find poetry difficult; I think because some poets consider their role is to obfuscate, but Claire Dyer’s style is very different. There is a clear communication of ideas, through a clever use of everyday language, for example the opening lines of Abroad:

“the waiters mistake us for sisters.
No, we say, laughing.

We know they know we’re not,
but we’re more than

who we seem.”

In this poem and in others there is a real sense of storytelling; vignettes from mother and child’s life before, during and after the transition process. Fireflies is about a sleepless winter night; the stunning Doing Cartwheels at the Ritz speaks for itself; Wardrobe the heartache of a mother clearing boyhood clothes – which has a truly joyful counterpoint in Shopping:

“Let us go then, you and I, to Primark, Zara, Reiss.
The sky’ll be brilliant and,

around us, shoppers will burst into song,
dance on the up escalators and the down

as we load our arms with gorgeousness,
lacework brushing our shins.”

I do wonder if one of the reasons I love this poem so much is because I know Claire to be an expert shopper; so elegant in her own dress, and generous in her time to help those less  ‘expert’, like me. I remember once we spent hours in Reading as she guided my choice of the perfect handbag, which I would point out that was no mean feat as I detest shopping and had multiple – and not always compatible – criteria, for even this simple requirement.

There are other moments depicted in Yield that, having been alongside Claire for at least some of this journey, I recognise. To have listened as Claire talked about her son becoming her daughter, inch by painstaking inch, was a privilege and I was proud to be confided in, but not being a mother myself there was so much I could not understand.

Not least was that for a long time we called Lucy ‘L’. Having read one short poem, I now get it completely. And that is what great poetry does; it increases our understanding.

“I wrote your names

                 with a knife on my heart and voiced them
in black ink and blue ink   I typed texted

and dreamt the names you were meant to pass on
that you’ve passed on now you have names

I can’t say because try as they might they’re not in my chest like
the rest that are still holding fast to the bones

in my back and my neck and my mouth is full
of dry grasses rivers and trees”

 

Yield is Claire Dyer’s third poetry collection and is published by Two Rivers Press.

 

 

 

Why The Lack of LGBT Book Prizes?

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LGBT, LGBT issuesIf you imagine that finding a traditional publisher for a first-time unknown author is hard, think scaling the north face of the Eiger when it comes to LGBT writers. Equality has given us many opportunities in life, but in the world of publishing it has strangely reduced our chances. For while most publishing houses these days have LGBT authors and books on their catalogues, they are reluctant to take on too many and certainly when it comes to risky first-timers. Publishing, like any business, is driven by profit margins, and since gay authors and LGBT themed books are limited in their sales revenue, any manuscript landing on a publisher’s desk with a rainbow theme running through it, stands even less of a chance than the thousands of others already in the slush pile. Once, traditional publishers wouldn’t touch overtly LGBT books. Thus, it was left to independent presses to print small numbers, but which at least meant they were going into the shops, if only to be tucked away on a shelf at the back. Today, though the stigma of books dealing with a sexuality other than ‘the norm’ no longer holds sway, still the readership is relatively small and does not translate into big enough profits for the main influencers, the publishers who are supplying the highstreets and airport shops.

What percentage of book sales are LGBT? I scoured the internet for information but could find nothing. Someone must have these figures?

The scarcity LGBT bookshops seems also ironic, given the diversity we so enjoy today. There are only two in the UK (correct me if I’m wrong); Gay’s The Word in London, and Category Is Books in Glasgow. While LGBT only bookshelves are disappearing from the high street, independent bookshops such as the two mentioned provide much needed havens in which gay men and women can browse quietly and mix with other LGBT people. But why are there not more of these oases in our cities and towns? Are we missing something? Have we let the mainstream absorb so much of our culture that we are in danger of losing our identity and risk being ignored altogether? Is this what equality is?

Women in literature faced a similar dilemma when in 1992 a group of people from all areas of the literary world got together to discuss why The Booker Prize shortlist the previous year had not included any women writers. This was puzzling since 60% of books published were by women and yet they had been so underrepresented. The group discussed the value and purpose of literary prizes and whether they promoted reading or put people off, and the positive role such awards can bring to authors. From that meeting the Orange Prize for Fiction was launched in 1996. It is now called The Women’s Prize and is an important and integral event in the literary calendar.   

Apart from the Polari Prize for first time LGBT authors and the Diva Literary Awards, the only other solely LGBT prize is the LAMDAs based in the U.S. While the acceptance of LGBT literature into the mainstream has given it just as much chance of winning any of the plethora of book awards, and is welcomed, the fact remains that the LGBT category will always be so small it will inevitably make little impact on the shortlists.

The Green Carnation Prize was initiated in 2010 when, together with journalist and blogger Simon Savidge, Paul Magrs highlighted this ‘scandalous lack of prizes for gay men’ in the UK. Since 2017 and despite its success, it has fallen dormant. If help is required, the gay community must assist in either resurrecting this prize or establishing another if we are to give gay authors and their books the attention they deserve. It will take the support of major players and sponsors for it to happen and to be sustainable, but as the Women’s Prize has proved, it can be done.

 

WHY HOMOPHOBIA HAS A STRONGHOLD IN SPORT

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By David Ledain, the latest addition to the Frost magazine team, writing on LGBT issues

Sport is a phenomenon which can both bond and divide in equal measure. Tribal instincts and loyalties are challenged and revered, and in football especially, young men can be empowered and at the same time hidden from view.

Homophobia and anti-gay violence seems to crystalize young males in football tribes and gangs. It proves their heterosexuality and obliterates any secret homosexual desires of their own they may have. Targeting gay men is not seen by the perpetrators as hatred towards the individuals, but rather as an extreme expression of society’s expectations of them – that they are conducting themselves within what they have learned as acceptable male behaviour. They are in part driven by fear. The potential of any young man, regardless of his sexual orientation, to be labelled as ‘gay’ and weak, and ostracised from his family and the surrogate families of his football tribe, schoolfriends, work colleagues or neighbours, for being or unknowingly presenting anything other than the heteronormative, is so damning, even dangerous, that men are pressurised into characterising themselves to a very narrow set of male gender stereotypes. Owen Jones, the columnist, author and social activist, concurs, saying that the majority of homophobic abuse is ironically directed at straight males, and that almost all men will have been subjected to some sort of malicious homo-name-calling in their lives and been told in no uncertain terms what sort of a man they should be.

Photograph by kind permission of Altrincham FC

‘You grow up hearing people use what you are as the ultimate derogatory insult,’ Jones says. ‘Society tells you you should be heterosexual. It’s even subtler than that. There’s that awful patronising thing when people say, “Oh, I never would have guessed that you’re gay”, and you’re left feeling almost flattered that your leprosy isn’t publicly obvious.’

The potency of the idealised masculine heteronormative which captivates and imprisons young men especially, through its facade of power and place in the world, even when those same young men whose circumstances gives them no real power at all, is the derisible falsehood that is so destructive. Males who aspire to this gender stereotype, yet have no means of ever realising it due to factors out of their control, and not always economic or social, may feel their only way to make a mark in the world, to stand out in their community, is to carry out attacks on vulnerable groups, particularly, homosexuals – easy targets which they see as the antithesis of who they are and who they want to be.

Altrincham FC recently made the headlines by tackling the issue of homophobia in football by going out on pitch in a rainbow coloured kit, and in 2017 Stonewall backed the Rainbow Laces campaign to get everyone who plays sport to support LGBT equality. Cricketer, Joe Root, has also been widely applauded for his response to alleged homophobic abuse, telling the West Indies bowler, Shannon Gabriel, ‘There is nothing wrong with being gay.’

Things are slowly changing both on the pitch and in the dressing room but getting to a place where LGBT equality and anti-gay abuse from the terraces is not a topic of discussion any more is difficult to imagine because of the deep-rooted traits of the hetero-biased tribes. But if sport and particularly football continues to move towards diversity and inclusivity, one day we will get there.

You can follow David on Facebook & Twitter @Davidledain

And visit his website www.gaydad.co.uk for more information and his blog.

 

DAVID LEDAIN EXAMINES GENDER DIVERSITY IN HISTORY AND CULTURE

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David Ledain is the author of Gay Dad – Ten True Stories of Divorced Gay Men with Kids, Living in the UK Today. Ledain, divorced himself and with two grown up sons, lives in Chichester, West Sussex. His latest book; This Forbidden Fruit: Male Homosexuality – A Culture & History Guide explores what it means to be gay; to live an authentic life when there are little or no references to base it upon.

Our culture provides heterosexual men and women with a vast tradition and depth of lore about what it means to be straight. Women grow up with the myths of Eve, Gaia and the Virgin Mary, while men have Adam, Mars, Zeus and the great religious prophets to identify with. Imagine a world for instance without the representation of women anywhere; a fictitious world in which there are no positive images or examples of women in the church, in government, in film, books or on TV, or indeed of playing any meaningful role throughout history. It is unbelievable, yet this is the way homosexuals have lived, without any gay male archetypes. Because of this lack of backstory, every new gay-themed film, TV show or book that appears, every new celebrity or politician who comes out, is so significant to our collective gay story that we jump on it voraciously. Often, this causes a backlash and straight people can be heard saying things along the lines of ‘They’ve got equal marriage, they can join the army, there are no anti-gay laws anymore, what more do they want? Why do they have to keep harping on?’

Growing up without proper foundations of myth, gender diverse references or role models, is not equality, so every single gay story is as important today as it ever was, even when we have come so far. Story-telling is a fundamental building block of any society. It is what makes us human – passing on our traditions, our wisdom, our folklore and myths from one generation to another. And that is true for homosexuals as well.

This Forbidden Fruit reveals the facts and legends; from Homosexuality in Literature to Coming Out in the Forces; from the First World War – Homosexuality Under Fire to David Bowie 1972; and why, against all odds, homosexuals exist at all.

One possible reason for the evolutionary existence of homosexuals is a means to defend their mothers and siblings by bringing special skills to the family unit that might otherwise be lacking in the other sons. Research shows that another factor in the propensity to bear a gay son might be due to a traumatic event endured by the mother during pregnancy, thus creating the correct hormonal environment for the unborn male foetus to develop more caring, nurturing traits that would be necessary to safeguard the mother’s future well-being. These scenarios require the son to have good caring and nurturing skills, and also to be a character who can negotiate and reconcile situations when for instance, food and resources essential to the family are in limited supply. Homosexual men, though often portrayed in the guise of the stereotypical drama queen, the self-centred narcissist or the vitriolic one-line bitch, more often than not possesses the antitheses of these less desirable character attributes, with softer, more compassionate and supportive qualities. Drawing people together, reconciling, co-operating, and understanding opposite points of view, is familiar to the homosexual character. It is this mythos we need to explore, refine and tell.

 

 

You can follow David on Facebook & Twitter @Davidledain

And visit his website www.gaydad.co.uk for more information and his blog.

 

 

 

Desiree Holt – the world’s most prolific author of erotic romance

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~ Meet 76-year-old grandmother Desiree Holt: the world’s oldest author of erotic romance, with over 100 steamy novels and ebooks to her name and counting. .

Silver-haired Desiree Holt qualified for a free bus pass in 1996, but has spent her retirement writing over 100 “scorching-hot” sexually explicit novels and e-novels to the delight of fans around the world.

Until now, many readers believed the bestselling author of such steamy works as “On the Prowl” and “Carnal Caresses” was a buxom heroine like the ones featured in her books — released by British erotic romance specialist Total-E-Bound Publishing.

But Holt — whose ‘behind-the-bedroom-door’ stories often involve kinky sex play such as bondage, dominance and threesomes — has decided to come clean about her age.

Holt, who cites the runaway success of British author EL James’s number one bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey as helping the genre gain mainstream acceptance, said: “When I first started writing, erotic romance was still looked down on by many people as nothing more than a form of porn.

“But the incredible popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey
has really opened readers’ minds to the genre, to the point where it’s fine to admit that I am a pensioner in my mid-seventies who just so happens to write about passionate, erotic relationships.

“I’m one of Total-E-Bound’s best-selling authors of this genre and the demand for my books is growing all the time. I think that’s because erotic romance is a powerful form of fantasy — women, and men too, can read it and imagine themselves in place of the characters, doing and feeling things they might be too shy about in their everyday existence.

“Many readers have told me that my stories give them confidence to spice up their sex lives, experiment and express their sexuality. I guess in that respect I’m a bit like an agony aunt, only more graphic.”

Claire Siemaszkiewicz, founder of digital publishing company Total-E-Bound, said: “Desiree has been with us for four years now and in that time has become a firm favourite with readers.

“We believe she is the oldest writer of erotic romance in the world, but I’m sure none of her fans will be concerned with her age. The quality of the stories and characters is the important thing to them, not how many candles the writer blows out each birthday.

“If anything, Desiree should be seen as an empowering figure in the fight against age discrimination. There’s no reason why sex should be taboo for older people.”

Born in 1936, mother-of-three Holt carved out a successful career for herself in journalism, PR and music management — looking after a number of small-time rock bands — before retiring in 2000 at the age of 64.

At first she planned to spend her golden years fulfilling a life-long ambition to write mystery novels — but became “hooked” on erotic romance after buying a “racy” novel to see what it was like.

With the full support of late husband David, Holt “threw” herself into the underground sex scene to research what would be her first erotic romance novel, 2007’s Candy Caresses, joining online forums for the BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadomasochism) and LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) communities.

Since then she’s published 105 novels, novellas and short story collections, building up a network of regular contacts ranging from mistresses, swingers, and fetishists to Army soldiers — for her latest book, Unconditional Surrender.

Last year, she even visited a bondage club at the age of 75 to gain a better understanding of the worlds she writes about — though, she insists, as “an observer only”.

She is now believed to be the world’s oldest author of erotic romance.

She said: “The inspiration for the stories comes from every place and research is always ongoing. I based the hero of one book on my doctor — simply because he’s so sexy.

“Another book, my novella All Jacked Up, I wrote for my son, because I wanted him to settle down. It’s about a man reaching forty who’s still waiting for the woman of his dreams only to have the most unexpected female walk into his life. I think he appreciated my motherly concern.

“Though I’ve not tried all the things I write about, I do find them all fascinating — far more so than traditional granny pursuits such as knitting. I’m treated well because I respect everyone as individuals, regardless of whether they express their love through kisses and cuddles or whips and chains.”

Holt, who lives in Texas, US, says that though her family refuse to read her books, they approve of her writing and affectionately call her the “Queen of Hill Country Erotica”.

But, she adds, there will always be some people who find her choice of career “distasteful”.

“I was nervous in the beginning because, while my kids are all adults, I am still ‘Mom’ to them and therefore shouldn’t know this kind of stuff. But they are my biggest supporters and brag about me a lot. Even my 20-year-old granddaughter thinks it’s exciting.

“But I do live in a very conservative community and occasionally someone will look at me as if I have a contagious disease when I reveal what I do.

“I always tell them that maybe they should read one novella and see that it’s really not what they think. At its heart, erotic romance is still about exploring characters’ relationships and emotions — the sex just helps reveal the intensity of their feelings.”

Desiree Holt’s latest novel, Unconditional Surrender, is available now from Total E-Bound Publishing. Visit www.total-e-bound.com