It was Jean Paul Sartre who said that hell is other people, but he did not get it quite right. What he should have said was that hell is other people and their opinions. Now if they can keep those opinions to themselves then it is happiness all-round. I spend large parts of my day not pointing out to someone how much of a jerk they are. An underrated and valuable skill, but one that seems in short supply when you have a child. I am going to do my best to make sure this weeks column is not an all-out rant, but I am going to put out a plea: please stop telling me how to raise my child.
There is a woman in my local area who seems nice enough, yet since my son was about nine months has asked me almost every single time she has seen me why he is not in nursery. Answer: because he is TWO-YEARS OLD. I have tried to explain to her his age and my personal reasons, but each time I am met with a lecture. Because, god forbid, a woman might want to raise her own child, right? Ditto for the fact I also got a long lecture from her on how my son was too old to be in a pram. ‘You are spoiling him’ she said. Never mind the fact that I am pregnant and he had just turned two, no, make him walk along the busy road and have no rest. That is definitely the answer.
Things like this happen all of the time. Some people will just critique. Ask you if your child can do something (competitive parents, they are just the worst), criticise their clothes/nails/cleanliness/hair, or ask a barrage of questions while pulling faces and making comments. Another bugbear is the busybodies who interfere and always think they know best. It does not matter that their children grew up decades ago and they lived in a separate place than you, they will always know exactly what to do in regards to nurseries and schools, as well as where you should take your child. The passing of time means nothing. Everything they did with their child, you in turn must do, because they know best.
I find with busybodies there is a number of things to do. One is smile and nod. Always best with strangers. The second is smile and say you do not agree, or make a joke of it. The best is to ask them nicely and politely to not interfere. The latter is always better with family. They will not stop if you do not tell them their behaviour is unacceptable. They may not even change then, but, trust me, you will feel better. In the meantime keep your head up, work on your sense of humour as it is the only thing that will get you through, and always stand up for yourself.
Please share any similar experience below, or just add your own comments. I would love to know what you think.
So the time has come. We have to buy our little one a bed. An exciting but emotional time for any parent. But what bed to buy? There are a lot of beautiful childrens double beds and buying one for your child may seem like an extravagance, or a waste of space. Children are small so do they really need one? Well I sleep on a king size bed and I think if you have the space it is a great idea. Here is why…
Space
I mean this in two ways. One: your child with have plenty of it and will probably sleep better. They can turn without falling over. My son has spent a lot of time in our king size bed, I don’t think a single would cut it. The other thing is: sleepovers! Yes the double bed may take up more space initially, but it means your child can share the bed with one of his friends or a cousin. No more having to buy futons or sleeping bags. Never mind storing these things. It is much better than getting them to snuggle down in the wardrobe.
Long-Lasting
Sometimes I feel like nothing grows faster than children. You blink and then they are half your size. Blink again and then they are taller than you. Yes, children grow at an alarming rate. It is better to head off growth spurts, and save all of that time researching and buying, when the piece of furniture will probably just be too small quickly and need replaced. Buying a double bed for your child means it will last, and it will save you money too. Win win. They can sleep in it until they are teenagers, and, hopefully, until it is time to move out. Cry.
All Grown-Up
Another good reason to get a child a double bed is because it will make them feel like a grown up. Yes, it is a luxury, but one that will pay off in spades. It is always a good idea to make a child feel like a mini adult. Another good idea is to get them involved with choosing the bed. Children love to feel involved and it is a grown-up purchase. Another possible benefit is that it might make them excited about going to bed in their brand new bed that they picked themselves. Possibly a long shot, but we can live in hope.
A term time break. The summer holidays. This used to mean something when I was in school, but since my son is still in toddlerhood it does not hold the same excitement. I am not saying it has no effect on my life: the toddler groups close or become less frequent. When they are open they are busier than ever. It seems like everyone, apart from our family, has taken August off and is having a wonderful time sunning themselves in an exotic location. Cry. But what really changes during term breaks is that I end up going to the park with my little one. Parks that are busier than ever.
Usually my little one and I are too busy to go to the park. His social life is packed with different events and lessons. From Monkey Music to his toddler groups. But toddlers need to learn, get fresh air, and burn off their energy. Fun for toddlers, but not always for the mama. I usually love taking my son on the swing, and watching him do the assault course. There are a lot of parks near where we live in South-West London, and they all have something different to offer. But the real interesting thing is the people that each park attracts. Some are easy-going with friendly toddlers, others are full of aggressive children and mothers who do not care. General piece of advice to them: it is called parenting, not let-them-do-whatever-they-want-ing. I reckon I could write a book just on the politics of park life.
I recently had a lovely conversation with a little girl about Star Wars, had an aggressive 10-year-old call my two-year-old a ‘s**t f**k’ because he wanted to go on the bus, and strike up a conversation with a friendly Irish mother whose sons toy my son kept trying to steal. It went well until she told me that 5-year-olds are harder work than two-year-olds and then I just wanted to start drinking, everyday.
I have had many great conversations with other mothers and their children. Not every experience has been great however. Where there is all of life that will not happen. Recently it started to rain just as I took my son to the park, we waited under a tree until it passed. Another mother came to the fence near us and started saying how she had lost her phone to a friend, and had left it on the fence. She gave me the eye and I gave the eye back, irritated. She then went all over the park looking for her phone. A while later she came up to me and asked ‘if I had seen a phone’. I told her, no. The rain passed and I took my son into the park for some fun. I looked over at one point to see the mean mother, who had previously been bitching about me to all of her friends, On Her Phone. No apology. Difficult mothers cannot be entirely avoided. Neither can the competitive ones. One mother kept telling me my son was 3 ‘because he looks 3’ It is hard to argue with that kind of logic.
Negative moments aside I now get why I saw so many mother in parks before I become a mother. Some looked exhausted and spaced out, others were on their phones, and some looked happy as they watched their child play. The park allows parents to socialise while the children burn off energy. On a tough day, it takes some of those hours away when they feel endless. So I might see you at the park, but I will make sure it is a friendly one. Feel free to strike up a conversation.
Super smooth kids’ porridge Ready Brek and Walker Books’ popular children’s brand We’re Going on a Bear Hunt are embarking on a joint adventure. The two bear-loving brands come together to serve up a nutritious helping of outdoor fun in a bid to help parents and kids adopt a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Ready Brek will be inviting kids and families to create their very own bear hunt featuring fun activity ideas to try at home on their packs.
The free We’re Going on a Bear Hunt guide, inspired by the hit Channel 4 animated film, will feature beautiful artwork from the film, each guide suggests games and activities showing kids how to go on their very own bear hunt swishy-swashing through grass and splash-sploshing through puddles. Packs also include three delicious recipes to collect; Bear Hunt Banana Muffins, Protein-packed Bear Hunt Bites and Bear Hunt Blueberry and Apple Flapjacks which are all nutritionally balanced, energy boosting snacks that will keep little adventurers going.
The on-pack promotion is on sale now (in the UK) and will feature on packs including Ready Brek Original 450g (RRP £1.99) and 750g (RRP £2.99) and Ready Brek 450g Chocolate (RRP £1.99). Packs will be available in Tesco, Asda, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, Waitrose and Coop.
Over half of parents vote for Corbyn as political baby names become hot new trend
53% of parents find it ‘very hard’ to choose the right name for their baby – and a third disagree with their partner over what to pick
70% believe children are judged by their name
23% say political names are on the rise with Corbyn and Cameron the top picks
Surge in popularity of Muslim names used by non-Muslim families
Wacky new naming trends include ‘unicorn names’, ‘tough names’ and even ‘text message names’
7% of families regret their child’s name
New parents are electing to name their children after politicians – with Corbyn the hottest new baby-naming trend, a new poll by video parenting website www.channelmum.com reveals.
After the Labour leader’s post-General Election popularity surge, over half of parents (52%) would consider using the name Corbyn for their child. The name has already soared 50 percent in popularity between 2014 and 2015, but is now expected to see an even sharper rise.
Overall, political names are one of the fastest-growing new UK baby naming trends with 23 percent of mums and dads seeing more politically-inspired names in their area.
Interestingly, while 38 percent of parents would consider the name May, only four percent would use Theresa for a newborn. Cameron was the next most popular, liked by a third of parents, followed by Jeremy, enjoying fresh popularity with 15 percent of families.
However, only five percent would name their baby Boris or Diane, six percent Donald and just one percent believe Nigel will become a fashionable name again. But Nicola was especially popular in Scotland, where 13 percent of mums and dads report its popularity is increasing, and 12 percent of Welsh parents are seeing more Leannes locally.
Across Britain, 1,305 parents were asked which names were increasing in popularity in their local area. The poll revealed a huge 70 percent of parents believe people judge a child by their name – and as a result, seven percent ‘regret’ their choice of baby name. However, three quarters of parents (75%) would be upset if their child wanted to change their name.
A third of couples quizzed admitted they disagreed and even rowed over naming their baby, with 53 percent admitting choosing a name is ‘very hard’. And while two thirds (65%) eventually settled on a name while still pregnant, 19 percent wait until they see the baby’s face when born – and an indecisive four percent wait six weeks until the legal limit for registering the baby’s birth and name.
The study also found that while over a third (35%) of parents use family names to honour relatives, one in five (20%) opt for unique spellings no-one else has to ensure their child stands out.
And with over 62,000 different baby names used annually in the UK, there are a number of wacky new baby-naming trends starting to break through.
The fastest-growing up-and-coming trends revealed by the poll include traditional Muslim names going mainstream, with six percent of the parents quizzed seeing more non-Muslim families using Muslim names. The most commonly-used Muslim monikers include Zane, Zahra, Ayesha, Farah, Anila, Omar and Jana.
One in ten has seen an increase in babies with ‘tough names’ including Axl, Maverick and Diesel, and by contrast, Unicorn names including Rainbow, Twinkle, Sassy, Sparkle and Princess are also beginning to gain popularity (4%).
Football ace Paul Pogba and Towie star Sam Faiers have helped to repopularise the name Paul, with one in 25 parents seeing it used again. There is also renewed interest in 1970s names including Michelle, Susan and even Gary is making a comeback.
And Viking and Scandi names are on the march, with Magnus, Agnes, Linnea, Freya, Annika, Astrid and Britta more popular, according to 13 percent of parents.
Meanwhile, the more bizarre name phenomenons include text message abbreviation names like Ily – meaning I Love You – spotted by one percent of parents – and three percent who have seen US place names including Texas, Miami, Arizona and Tennessee used as baby names.
However, the most common current trend is surnames as first names. Two thirds of parents report this is on the rise in their area, with top names including Cooper, Grayson, Parker, Quinn, Jones, Carter, Mason, Jackson, Hunter and Riley.
Traditional but not twee English names are undergoing a revival, with 61 percent of parents embracing monikers includingSarah, Penelope, Emma and Lucy.
The rise of gender-fluid culture means Gender Neutral names are becoming more popular. Alex, Charlie, Elliott, Ellis, Max and Sydney are among the names spotted more often by 41 percent of parents.
And while it may be the least-used letter of the alphabet, X names are in-vogue, with Jaxxon, Xanthe, Xander and Jaxton the most picked for new babies, and voted more popular by 35 percent of parents.
Meanwhile, 16 percent of mums and dads have seen a flood of babies with water names including River, Lake, Delta and Coast, while 13 percent report meeting tots named after the cast of the film Frozen, such as Elsa, Kai, Anna and Olaf.
However, the study also showed the most disliked baby name trend is text-message names, shunned by 71 percent of parents, followed by double-barrelled names such as Lily-Mae, which half of parents refuse to use.
A further 44 percent wouldn’t name their child after a sports team while 38 percent loathe unusual or unique spellings. And the Kardashian trend of using the same first letter for each child was turned down by 27 percent of families.
Siobhan Freegard, founder of ChannelMum.com said:“What’s in a name? Well rather a lot. Names reflect both changing fashions and our changing society, such as the rise in use of many beautiful Muslim names. With 70 percent of families believing their child is judged on their name, a vast amount of love, care and attention is poured into picking the right moniker.
“Corbyn is the stand-out naming trend this year, and we expect to see lots of babies conceived at Glastonbury or over the election period named after the Labour leader.
“But remember a week is a long time in politics and your child will have that name for a lifetime, so do consider the effects of naming a child after any politician.”
HOTTEST UP AND COMING TRENDS
Political names (23%)
Viking / Scandi names (11%)
Tough names (10% are seeing an increase in this)
Non-Muslim families using Muslim names (6%)
Unicorn names (4%)
70s names (4%)
US place names (3%)
Text abbreviation names (e.g. ILY for I Love You) – 1%
MOST POPULAR CURRENT NAMING TRENDS
Surnames as first names (66% have seen an increase in this)
With over two decades of experience of pregnancy and birth, and more than 650,000 users every month, Emma’s Diary, the essential pregnancy support resource has been able to look back at key trends to compare the contents of the modern day hospital bag compared with that of 20 years ago and the contrasts are remarkable.
No need to carry a camera
One of the big differences is that we no longer need to carry a camera in our hospital bag today, providing we have our phone and charger, most cameras on mobile phones are so good today that we don’t need both. Equally, the convenience of reading a book on our Kindle or tablet eliminates the need for a physical book and doubles up as a way to communicate with family and friends online.
Clean eating trend
The trend for clean eating has also seen the choice of snacks and drinks change dramatically over the years, with high-energy drinks, fresh smoothies and snacks such as vegetable crisps and protein bars being popular in 2017.
CDs replaced with streaming music on our devices
The devices we use to listen to music (a popular past time for women in labour) have also changed beyond all recognition as we have moved from portable CD players (and the need to carry CDs in our hospital bags) to streaming music on our mobile phones and tablets. Although our tastes in music may have evolved, using music to help soothe and relax us during labour is still an important element.
Some things never change
We still need disposable pants and they still look as ghastly as they always did! Baby clothes, mitts, maternity pads, nursing bras, slippers, toiletries, tissues and baby wipes are still very much part of the modern day hospital bag.
According to Emma’s Diary – here are its top 15 contents for mums to be hospital bags from 2017 and 1997 (20 years ago).
2017 Mum’s Hospital Bag Contents:
Mobile 4G smartphone/iPhone
iPad/tablet
Music downloaded to your phone and earphones (Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You, Bruno Mars’ That’s What I Like and The Weekend’s Starboy have been chart toppers this year)
Lip balm (such as Burt’s Bees)
Snacks and drinks (water, smoothie, isotonic drink, vegetable crisps)
Kindle (Into the Water and Caravel are popular books this year)
Baby wipes
Birth ball
TENS machine
Slippers, socks, nightwear
Maternity Pads
Baby clothes and nappies
Nursing bras
Disposable pants
Toiletries and hair brush/clips
1997 Mum’s Hospital Bag Contents:
Portable CD player (or the minidisc player launched in 1992 for those gadget lovers!)
CDs/Mini discs – (Blur’s Beetlebum, No Doubt’s Don’t Speak and Spice Girls’ Spice up your Life were all chart toppers this year!)
Paperback book (Cold Mountain and Harry Potter were popular
Mobile phone (probably a Nokia 6110 or similar)
Camera (film, polaroid or first digital if you were into gadgets)
Snacks and drinks (water, Orbitz drink, bag of Doritos 3D)
Lip balm (such as Nivia)
Tissues/cotton wool balls
Slippers, socks, nightwear
Maternity pads
Baby clothes and nappies
Nursing bras
Disposable pants
Toiletries and hair brush/clips
Address book (with contact numbers)
Mum of two and Marketing Director at Emma’s Diary, Faye Mingo commented: “It’s been great fun looking back at the change in contents of the hospital back of 1997 compared with today. So much has changed and yet so much is still relevant today. What is probably the most astonishing is the change in the way we communicate and connect with others and how that has had a direct impact on what we now take into hospital, whether that’s related to the music we listen to, the books we read or how we converse with others – times change!”
A leading London hospital dramatically reduced the rates of a life-threatening infection in newborn babies thanks to a simple screening test.
New research published today from a pilot study[1] at Northwick Park Hospital reports that screening pregnant women for group B Strep (GBS) reduced the rate of these potentially deadly infections in their newborn babies by 83%.
Yet in countries that have introduced antenatal GBS screening – recognised internationally as best practice – rates of these infections have fallen by significantly, by 70-90%.
Group B Streptococcus (GBS or Strep B) is the UK’s most common cause of life-threatening infection in newborn babies, causing sepsis, pneumonia and meningitis, and claims the life of one baby a week.
Previously Northwick Park Hospital had one of the highest rates of group B Strep infection in newborn babies in the country, almost three times the national average, despite following national guidelines.
To combat this worrying figure, Dr Gopal Rao, Consultant Microbiologist at Northwick Park Hospital, decided to set up the screening programme in his busy UK multi-ethnic community to see whether this would help reduce the rate of group B Strep infection in newborn babies.
Over 6,000 pregnant women chose to have the test. This involved taking two simple swabs (which the majority of women chose to do themselves at 35-37 weeks of pregnancy) – after being given information about GBS.
The Family Friendly Raves Return To Raise the Roof AND Raise Money for Family, Healthcare and Education
Big beats for tiny feet are back, as a new season of Diddy Rascals events are launched for 2017, with the exciting addition of Diddy Rascals Movies, and a festival.
Launched in 2016 by former Ministry of Sound alumni and now part of the charity Humanitas all Diddy Rascals events are not for profit, helping Humanitas provide long-term, professional support to individuals in areas of devastating poverty around the world. Three basic human rights are family, healthcare and education and this small but mighty charity has been on the ground providing real relief since its inception in 2001.
Diddy Rascals Raves: live DJs play a soundtrack of classic house pitched perfectly to both parents and kids, while inflatables, face painting, horns and glow sticks give it an authentically ‘old-skool’, playful vibe. A chill-out room gives younger kids the chance to hang out in the ball pool, enjoy the lights and soak up the ambience. Ideal for 2 to 8 year old mini-ravers, younger or older siblings are welcome.
EVENT LISTINGS
Saturday 20th May, 1-3pm, Half Moon, Putney, London
Sunday 28th May, 2-4pm, Harpenden Halls, Harpenden, Herts
Sunday 11th June, 1-3pm Hitchin Town Hall, Hitchin, Herts
Saturday 1st July, 1-3pm Half Moon, Putney, London
A rolling programme of enjoyable movies for mums and dads, screened in an entertaining, safe environment that allows mini wanderers the chance to roam and play without fear of being ‘shushed’. Kicking off with a screening of la La Land on 16th May.
MOVIE LISTINGS
Tuesday 16th May Harpenden Halls – La La land (12A, 2016)
Tuesday 6th May: Hitchin Town Hall – La La land (12A, 2016)
Diddy Festival
Lets pump it up and get raving in our special inflatable fun factory out in a field. Expect all the wild antics from our raves but in our inflatable room, plus face painting, messy play and much more family fun.
FESTIVAL LISITNGS
Sunday 16th July, 12-6pm, The Priory, Hitchin, Herts
It was Jean Paul Sartre who said that hell is other people, but he did not get it quite right. What he should have said was that hell is other people and their opinions. Now if they can keep those opinions to themselves then it is happiness all-round. I spend large parts of my day not pointing out to someone how much of a jerk they are. An underrated and valuable skill, but one that seems in short supply when you have a child. I am going to do my best to make sure this weeks column is not an all-out rant, but I am going to put out a plea: please stop telling me how to raise my child.
