Let Kindness Triumph Over Materialism this Christmas

Go cold turkey on consumerism this Christmas and give the best present there is – love, urges the acclaimed children’s author M.C.D. Etheridge.

By M.C.D. Etheridge

What do you love most about Christmas? From the uplifting chorus of carols to the fragrant smell of pine needles and unmistakable taste of figgy pudding, a traditional Christmas really is an assault on the senses. Yet, maybe it’s the way that Christmas makes us feel that really brings us joy.

Because when it comes to this special holiday, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a church-going Christian or if you simply value the time you get to spend with your family, what you probably love most about Christmas is love itself.

It’s easy to lose sight of this when you’re lost in the frenzied aisles of the shopping mall where even the calmest individual can find themselves part of an angry, anxious mob. You don’t even have to venture further than the multi-storey carpark to witness the annual pilgrimage to these great cathedrals of consumerism spiralling out of control. Just observe the alarming scream of car horns crying mayhem over the distant loop of Christmas jingles. It’s enough to drown out any semblance of festive cheer before you’ve even set foot in the building. Meanwhile, as you fight your way towards the snaking check-out queues to purchase the overpriced items your children reassured you they wanted just hours ago, they’re at school, immersed in the unforgiving, materialistic mania that brainwashes them into wanting something else entirely. Don’t get sucked in.

The pressure we put on ourselves at this time of year can be overwhelming. It’s enough to drive you insane. So let’s, just for a moment, take a step back and try to remember what this holiday is all about, because it’s not just about buying things.

In the 21st Century, we have to acknowledge that for many people in modern Britain, Christmas has evolved from the Christian celebration of the birth of Jesus, and yet most of us continue to celebrate the constant theme central to the Nativity. For at its heart, Christmas, both in the biblical narrative and in its modern form, is a celebration of the family. And rightly so. Let’s not forget that if you have a family, you are lucky. If you have friends, you are luckier still. For some of us at Christmas, our friends are our family and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Christmas is a time to celebrate, appreciate and love the people we have in our lives.

It’s also a time when we experience the joy of giving and the Christmas tradition of being kind. For if the Nativity introduces our children to the idea that the family is special, then it’s Santa Claus who arrives as the champion of human kindness. The way he introduces our kids to the idea that there are people out there who do things for others out of the kindness of their heart is wonderful. For this reason alone, he’s epic.

In many ways, with all his Christmas magic, Santa is the first superhero our kids experience, and yet ever since I was a boy, I’ve felt this incredible Christmas character has been missing a worthy backstory. It’s the reason why I put pen to paper to write Whitebeard.

Whitebeard, my new book, is Santa’s origin story and as the name might suggest, reimagines Santa as a good-natured, Falstaffian pirate captain. It’s been enormous fun writing this children’s adventure story and so much of the joy lies in the fact that everyone already knows how the story ends. We know Santa must have a flying sleigh and reindeer, the ability to deliver gifts to all the children of the world and have a heart as pure as the driven snow. It’s how he gets there, and who he meets along the way, that makes it fun.

My research uncovered the little-known fact that Saint Nicholas (the man on whom most Santa traditions are based) is not only the patron saint of children, but of repentant thieves and sailors too. It would emerge that seafaring adventures and repentance are themes historically linked to the famous and loving Christmas character. Well, if that doesn’t shout out reformed pirate I don’t know what does and I just loved the idea of an old, saltwater thief changing his ways to become the man we know and love as Father Christmas. The triumph of kindness over materialism is therefore at the heart of the story I wanted to write.

Admittedly, I haven’t received an official thumbs up from Lapland on the authenticity of my festive tale, so I like to think of it more as an unofficial biography. I don’t expect to receive too many complaints though, because between the pages of Whitebeard there’s a healthy respect for all our favourite Christmas traditions and a determination to celebrate family, kindness and love. And whichever way you look at it, that’s what Christmas is all about.

M.C.D. Etheridge is a journalist and TV producer for SKY News, ITN, ITV, Channel 5, and Australia’s Channel 9. His new children’s book, Whitebeard, is described as a “rollicking Christmas adventure story” and is ideal for children aged between 8 and 12. It is out now on Amazon UK priced £7.99 in paperback and £1.99 in eBook. Visit www.whitebeardbook.com 

 

Frost Magazine interviews acclaimed Instapoet, Arch Hades

High Tide, the debut collection of poetry by the Instapoet, Arch Hades, is making waves in poetry and social circles. In this Frost Magazine exclusive, we find out more about the writer behind the verse.

By Lucy Bryson

Q: Were you aware of the ‘Instapoets’ concept when you first began writing? Have you witnessed any snobbery from traditional literary publications towards ‘Instapoetry’?

A: Yes, I was aware of the ‘Instapoets’ concept. I can’t say I’ve experienced any snobbery (I, of course, only speak for myself). I’m just a poet who shares some of my work on that platform. We live in a sharing society, Instagram has done wonders for poetry, not only has it helped people re-connect to this form of expression, it has done so very successfully and on such a large scale that I will gladly applaud the medium for this revival.

If anything, I hope traditional literary publications rejoice at this new-found popularity of poetry and especially the new-found interest people express in their own publications. 

Q: Your work is personal and emotional – did you feel any vulnerability when you first published your poems online? Are there any experiences you would say are out of bounds in sharing with readers?

A: I can’t say I felt particularly emotionally vulnerable when first sharing my poetry. I’ve always been very honest with people and very open. I don’t see the point of not saying that I mean and not meaning what I say. I want to continue being raw and open and emotional, I don’t want to shy away from it, I want those who do share in loss and heartbreak to feel they are not alone, I want to connect with them and support them.

Q: Can your Instagram followers expect to see new, previously unpublished work in High Tide? 

I only began posting online after the publication of High Tide, so far I’ve only posted fragments of poetry, and I am grateful that the reception has been warm, so yes, I will estimate that the vast majority of High Tide is yet unseen by my followers (apart from those who bought the book already).

Q: Have you always sent postcards while travelling? Did you have any reservations about sharing this personal correspondence in your book?

A: Sending postcards is an old sentiment of mine that originates from my school days. I spent seven years in an all-girls boarding school where cell phone use and access to social media were very restricted. However, we were allowed to post letters and that became my outlet. Handwritten letters and postcards are a form of art in themselves. When you have a limited amount of physical paper to write on, suddenly, you have to be concise, thoughtful and eloquent. It was a challenge at first – when you can write anything, but, you can only write a few sentences. It’s a beautiful game. One doesn’t easily discards letters too. You write your girlfriend a letter, I promise you, whatever happens, she is going to keep that forever. I began writing to my best friend Bobby more than ten years ago, who attended an all-boys boarding school, and we’ve kept it up ever since. 

Postcards, I would say, aren’t particularly personal, at least not my own. I use postcards to capture a momentary state – the external and internal. How wonderful it is to then read again and be transported back to that moment and my frame of mind during writing. I want to encourage more people to write postcards. Not just for future nostalgia, but because at the time of writing it helps you to be present and reflective. 

Q: Poetry is often viewed as an elitist and difficult form of literature for the ordinary person. Do you think this is a fair assessment, and do you feel that the new wave of online poetry is encouraging young people to become interested in the art form? 

A: I understand how people in Britain might perhaps feel estranged to poetry. The most famous British poets are traditionalist like Shakespeare, Byron, Blake, war poets like Aldington and Blunden and more recent poets like Larkin – who are all brilliant and I admire them greatly, but their writing can alienate readers in terms of language, and also in terms of the topics that they wrote about, that the young generation may be alien to. I’ve had conversations about poetry where someone will comment – Shakespeare isn’t for me, poetry isn’t for me. So perhaps poetry can strive to be more inclusive, and perhaps there needs to be a greater awareness of how broad poetry is. 

I of course celebrate new mediums like Instagram, that have certainly made poetry more accessible and have also encouraged so many young people to pick up their pens too. Poetry is a beautiful form of expression and I want to encourage it to all and any. 

Q: In what way was writing the poetry ‘cathartic’? Does your new poetry reflect a more peaceful state of mind, and how does that affect your creativity? 

A: Cathartic is an appropriate word here. My grandfather (also a poet) used to tell me that a problem well stated is a problem half-solved and I can honestly say I used this form of expression to help me through some difficult times. Unfortunately, I have not found my peace yet, but that doesn’t limit me to writing only about turbulent, sad times, there have always been serene moment of love and peace, I just have to focus on those at times and remain hopeful for the future. 

Q: What would you say is the poet’s function in society?

A: In 1825 Pushkin declared that ‘the history of the people belongs to the poet’. They say if you want to know what happened, ask a historian, but if you want to know what it meant, ask a writer. I doubt I’ll be writing history or what it meant, I just want to capture what’s going on around me and how it’s changing. 

Q: Why do you think your work resonates so strongly with others around the world, and how do you think reading your work can help others heal their own heartbreak? 

A: Emotions are universal, we’re all human, we all have feelings and we all don’t like feeling alone. In times of heartbreak, loss, lethal love, unrequited lust and failure, we feel a touch of redemption and solace when we feel we are not alone, that somewhere out there someone also felt that way, and hopefully they don’t feel that way any anymore. It brings us peace, it strengthens us. If that person conquered it, so can I. Luckily, when I started sharing some extracts of my writing, the reaction was very positive and I’m so grateful for it. I’m so glad people find my obscure sorrows and heartaches relatable and when they tell me it helps them feel less alone, it helps me feel less alone too.  

Q: Finally, what three poets, classic or modern, would you recommend to people wanting to discover the joys of poetry, and for what reasons?

A: Three is difficult, as there are dozens I admire. It’s no surprise that I will recommend the confessional poets of the 1950s – Anne Sexton in particular – whose style I believe is very relatable and accessible. 

A traditional poet I would recommend – Alfred Lord Tennyson – ‘The Eagle’ is a nostalgic favourite from my school days, that warmed me to poetry in the first place. 

And something more Instagram friendly – R H Sin – wonderful and warming. 

High Tide: Poetry & Postcards by Arch Hades is an original collection of poignant and relatable poetry about love and loss, which capture a troubled year in the life of the author. It is available now on Amazon UK priced £5.99 in paperback and £4.99 as an eBook. Follow Arch on Instagram @archhades. 

 

Recommended Reads | The Distance By Zoë Folbigg

From the author of the bestselling novel, The Note, comes this beautiful, romantic tale of finding love in the most unexpected places.
Under the midnight sun of Arctic Norway, Cecilie Wiig goes online and stumbles across Hector Herrera in a band fan forum. They start chatting and soon realise they might be more than kindred spirits. But there are two big problems: Hector lives 8,909km away in Mexico. And he’s about to get married.

Can Cecilie, who’s anchored to two jobs she loves in the library and a cafe full of colourful characters in the town in which she grew up, overcome the hurdles of having fallen for someone she’s never met? Will Hector escape his turbulent past and the temptations of his hectic hedonistic life and make a leap of faith to change the path he’s on?

Zoe Folbigg’s latest novel is a story of two people, living two very different lives, and whether they can cross a gulf, ocean, sea and fjord to give their love a chance.

Zoë Folbigg is a magazine journalist and digital editor, starting at Cosmopolitan in 2001 and since freelancing for titles including Glamour, Fabulous, Daily Mail, Healthy, LOOK, Top Santé, Mother & Baby, ELLE, Sunday Times Style and Style.com. In 2008 she had a weekly column in Fabulous magazine documenting her year-long round-the-world trip with ‘Train Man’ – a man she had met on her daily commute. She since married Train Man and lives in Hertfordshire with him and their two young sons. The Note is her debut novel, and she is currently writing her second book.

Available here.

Recommended Reads | As the Sun Breaks Through By Ellie Dean

THE FIFTEENTH CLIFFEHAVEN NOVEL BY SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR ELLIE DEAN

Cliffehaven, June 1944

As the planes continue to circle over Cliffehaven, Peggy Reilly’s sister Doris must seek refuge after a V-1 blast destroys her home. Rita, Sarah and the other residents at Beach View Boarding House quickly find their peace disturbed and it’s not long before even Peggy loses her patience. But with more bad news to come, will Doris finally be forced to swallow her pride?

Meanwhile Peggy’s father-in-law Ron Reilly is delighted when his sweetheart Rosie returns home. Until a heart-breaking confession suggests things may never be the same between them.

With loved ones scattered far and wide across the globe, and tensions running high, the end of the war feels somehow further than ever. And yet with the long-awaited Allied invasion in sight, a glimmer of light is starting to break through…

 

A fabulous, heart-warming Second World War novel in Ellie Dean’s bestselling Cliffehaven series (previously called the Beach View Boarding House series).

Available here.

Book Review: The Strength of Wills by Allen Walker

The Strength of Wills by Nigel GoudgeThere’s humour and Nazi horror in equal measure in Allen Walker’s brave new WW2 novel, finds Lucy Bryson.

By Lucy Bryson

On September 1, 1939, Hitler launched an invasion of Poland that triggered the start of World War II. The battle for Poland only lasted about a month before a Nazi victory. But the invasion plunged the world into a war that would continue for almost six years and claim the lives of tens of millions of people.

Allen Walker’s exceptional new novel, The Strength of Wills, tells the remarkable, and at times heart-wrenching true story of two Polish men fleeing that German force.

In his introduction, Walker sets the brutal scene: “Buildings were torn apart by the huge eight-inch guns of the Schleswig Holstein, supported by Ju-87 dive-bombers, familiarly known as Stukas, along with Ju-88s and Me-110 fighter-bombers…their incessant thrum punctuated by the terrifying screams of the dive-bombing Stukas.”

At the centre of the action is Jedrek, a Polish teenager who, after losing his home and mother in a Nazi bombing, begins a perilous, 2,500-mile escape across war-torn Europe. Injured and afraid, he encounters the very worst of humanity before meeting an older man who takes him under his wing. Together, the pair forge an unlikely, moving friendship and strike for freedom. 

Walker based the book on the true story of a Polish immigrant who he met in England in the early 1980s. He spent the next 30 years bringing those graphic events to the page through the medium of historical fiction. Walker necessarily tackles the shocking violence heads-on; at times, its unflinching descriptions of the horrors or war – including sexual abuse – make for difficult reading. But the horror is tempered with humour, and with engaging, snappy dialogue throughout. Maps and detailed footnotes about key events are especially helpful.

The Strength of Wills is an impressive, emotionally-charged work of fiction that is highly recommended.

The Strength of Wills is available now on Amazon priced £12.90 in paperback and £4.99 as an eBook. For further information, visit www.allenwalker.me

Nearly Half of Women Make Up STEM Employment

Over the past few decades, there has been a massive rise in the female workforce, with the employment rate of women aged 25 to 54 up from 57% in 1975 to a record high of 78% in 2017. In fact, recent reports collected by http://freshstudentliving.co.uk/ found women in the UK are 35% more likely to go to university than men.
While women make up 47% of employees in ‘male dominated’ STEM subjects, they now represent a quarter of the jobs in mathematical sciences and 13% of engineering positions. Women may still dominate traditional roles like nurse practitioners, flight attendants and social workers, however there has been an increase in female students entering less traditional career paths like computer programmers, aircraft pilots and even firefighters, to name a few.

Flipping Gender Roles 

According to the latest findings from UCAS, women in the UK are 35% more likely to go to university than men. Women attending uni outnumber men in 112 of a total of 180 subjects, with women charging ahead in subjects like psychology (81.7%), social work (88.3%) and academic studies (88.7%). Nursing remains the most female-dominated subject with 90.5% female students in 2017.

Due to encouragement and some strong female role models, female students are taking on traditionally male-dominated subjects like computer science and engineering. As it stands, there are 66,840 more women now on degree courses than men, compared with 34,035 in 2007.

Where Women are Thriving 

Although women continue to be under-represented in STEM sectors like computer science and engineering, there are other areas in which women have made significant progress. The 2017 WES survey found that 11% of the engineering workforce is female, up from 9% in 2015.

STEM sectors like nurse practitioners and data entry have traditionally been dominated by women and continue to remain so. Below is a list of sectors in which women are thriving and the percentage of women employed:

  • Registered nurses – 90%
  • Health practitioner support technologists and technicians – 81.4%
  • Clinical laboratory technologists – 74%
  • Medical scientists – 53.7%
  • Financial managers – 53.2%

The Science of It All 

Ground-breaking research by Microsoft surveyed 11,500 women between the ages of 11 and 30 in 12 countries across Europe about their attitudes to STEM. The unique insight found that most girls become interested in STEM at the age of 11-and-a-half, although most lose interest by age 15. Reasons for this include a lack of female role models in the industry and not enough practical, hands-on experience in primary and high school.

Just 42% of girls surveyed said they would consider a STEM-related career while 60% admitted they would feel more confident pursuing a career in STEM fields if they knew men and women were equally employed in those professions.

According to UCAS data, the number of women studying law has been steadily increasing for years. In fact, there is more than double the number of female law students than men who have been accepted a place to study law.  To put this into perspective, of the 26,075 students accepted to study law in 2017, 33% were men and 67% were women. According to Law Society statistics, 62% of solicitors admitted to the roll in 2016 are female.

Women Have Become the More Qualified Sex 

The hourly gender pay gap for full-time workers dropped by 8.3% from 1997 to 2017, with the gap for all workers dropping by about 9.1%.  The IFS suggests the reason for the decline is that, overall, educational qualifications for women have increased more quickly than men’s, and as from the late 2000s, women have become the more qualified sex.

How to Attract More Females to Typically Male-Dominated Subjects and Industries

It is important to tackle the stereotypes girls are exposed to in order to attract them to study male-dominated subjects in university.

Get to them early – Most girls state a lack of confidence and skills as a reason for opting out of typically ‘male’ subjects at a high school level. Changing this perception early in the girls’ school career and introducing hands-on learning opportunities, workshops and peer interactions can open the door to more young girls feeling confident in their abilities to enter the vibrant and rewarding STEM workforce.

Bust the stereotypes – It is important to dispel the myths that dissuade young girls from studying ‘male’

subjects in school and pursuing careers in these sectors. One of the main misconceptions is that IT careers are restricted to coding and development. In fact, a strong technical background can be used to enter a vast range of career paths, including medicine, education and communications, to name a few.

Female role models – Young women are put off careers in STEM and IT due to so few role models, and the mentality that it is a ‘boys club’. This is why mentorship plays an important role in setting females on a path to success and confidence. By pairing young women with accomplished female professionals, they can not only offer one-on-one attention and guidance but also act as living proof that women can achieve success in these types of industries.

 

This is How Much Sleep New Parents Get

PARENTS GET A MERE TWO HOURS AND SIX MINUTES OF SLEEP PER NIGHT

A new study into the hilarious actions of sleep deprived parents has found that a staggering 78 per cent admit to doing something silly due to exhaustion, and it’s not surprising given that they only manage to catch two hours and six minutes of sleep each night.  

 

The research of 2,000 UK parents of children aged between 0 – 10 years, commissioned by bed maker Silentnight.com, revealed the amusing mishaps of exhausted parents due to the shocking state of their sleep habits.

 

Lack of sleep is undoubtedly one of the biggest pains for new parents, so it comes as no surprise that over a third (35 per cent) admitted to mistakenly drinking their baby’s milk formula due to excessive fatigue and one in five accidently put items such as a nappy or kettle in the fridge.

 

Not only are drained parents making silly mistakes physically, but their emotional state is also questionable, as 20 per cent admit to forgetting to pick up their other children from nursery or school. While 18 per cent admit to cradling the dog instead of their baby, and the same percentage confess to bursting into tears for no reason. Continuous lack of sleep seems to be causing an epidemic of confused and muddled parents, which is even affecting simple household chores, as nearly one in five admit to accidentally mixing up the washing and turning clothing the wrong colour.  

 

And the sleep deprived antics don’t stop there. Christian, 32, from Blackpool, admitted to cradling the family pet, saying, “I fell asleep on the sofa and when I heard the baby cry, I picked up the cat and rocked it back and forth.”

 

While holding her child, Ruth, 32, from Birmingham asked her husband to go and get their daughter from her cot. While Karen, 30, from Coventry was so sleep deprived she left the house and forgot to do up her nursing bra.

 

Other bizarre confessions from zombie parents include falling asleep in restaurants with friends, forgetting their child’s name and trying to unlock the back door using a car key fob.

 

Commenting on the findings, Silentnight’s sleep expert Dr Nerina Ramlakhan has warned that parents place too much emphasis on the amount of time they’re supposed to sleep.

 

She said, “It’s important that we focus on achieving quality, deep sleep, rather than a quota of hours. As a new parent, it’s vital to make the most of any free time you have restfully and to take regular naps of no more than 15 mins, when you can, in order to re-energise.

 

“Think about delegating tasks, don’t be a perfectionist and allow your other half and family to help out as much as possible. It’s also important not to over rely on stimulants as these will affect your sleep in the long run.”

 

Interestingly, parents seem to be completely overwhelmed by their own lack of sleep and exhaustion issues more than their littles ones, with nearly seven in ten (69 per cent) not concerned or worried about their baby or child getting enough sleep.

 

Hilariously, when asked what they would rather have, Silentnight’s findings highlighted the desperation of sleep starved parents, with a whopping 77 per cent claiming they would rather have an afternoon nap, than dinner out at a Michelin star restaurant (15 per cent). Other luxuries such as a relaxing spa weekend (38 per cent) were again overruled by a long lie in (42 per cent).

 

The findings also revealed that the sleepless nights don’t become any easier if you go on to have more than one child, with 70 per cent of second time parents admitting sleep deprivation worsens with the addition of siblings.

 

So, what can be done to combat sleep deprivation for British parents?

 

Both meditation and a hot drink before bed (27 per cent) were the preferred methods of drifting off into a deep slumber. Surprisingly, reading before bed was least favoured by older parents, with only 7 per cent of those aged 46 – 50 trying this past time, in comparison to 19 per cent of millennial mums and dads.

 

Dr Nerina added: “Sleeping with a newborn baby can be extremely difficult, and it’s important that parents try to find a balance where possible. If you do find yourself continually waking during the night, then there are a few tricks that you can use to get yourself back to sleep more easily.

 

“Be prepared – try to have everything on hand for a quick feed or nappy change and if you have to put a light on, use a low-level bedside lamp. The less time you are exposed to light, the easier it will be to get back to sleep again. Don’t be tempted to check your phone, as the blue light from screens tricks your brain into thinking it’s more awake than it is, making it more difficult to get back to sleep. Avoid checking the time – if you do this, you are more likely to start worrying about how little sleep you might get.

 

“And finally, don’t worry if you do something silly due to being tired, every new parent can relate!”

 

The study revealed the top ten parenting mishaps:

 

  1. Mistakenly drinking my baby’s milk formula

  2. Sending my child to school with no PE kit or lunch

  3. Eating baby food

  4. Putting an item such as a nappy or kettle in the fridge

  5. Forgetting to pick my children up from nursery or school

  6. Cradling the dog instead of a child

  7. Forgetting what I’m saying in the middle of a sentence

  8. Crying for no reason

  9. Falling asleep while cleaning the house

  10. Mixing up the washing and turning clothing the wrong colour

 

The new rules of divorce; exclusive survey reveals women are happier post-divorce

Is Getting Married An Achievement?, wedding diary, engagement, engagement ring, getting married, planning a wedding, marriage, engagement,Women are more likely to be happier after divorce than men, a new survey commissioned by Style, The Sunday Times’ weekly fashion and beauty magazine, has revealed today.

 

Over half of women (53%) reported that they are “much more happier” post-divorce, while less than a third (32%) of men said the same. The groundbreaking survey asked 1,060 divorced British men and women, with an average age of 54, more than 30 personal questions about their lives and the reasons behind their splits.

 

The revelatory results showed women were also more likely to use positive words about divorce, such as “glad”, “celebration”, and “excitement”, while men were more likely to talk of “failure” and “disappointment”.

 

What’s more, 61% of women surveyed said there were happy single and not looking for a relationship, versus 47% of men saying the same. Men were also more likely still to harbour feelings for a former spouse (17% vs 8% for women), and yet they were quicker to start dating again and  more than 30% more likely to be in a new relationship.

 

Lorraine Candy, Editor-in-Chief of Style commented;

 

“We wanted to explore modern day perspectives on divorce and the reason behind it. The results are revelatory, showing there is a new generation of empowered and single woman, who have been married and come out the other side living a fulfilled single life.”

 

The most commonly cited reason for divorce was a person changing, by nearly half (49%) (35% said their partner changed, 14% admitted that they had). Most marriages, however, failed for multiple reasons, with mutual unhappiness being the next most frequent response (32%), followed by breaking down because one spouse had met someone else (28% said their partner me someone else, and 6% admitting they met someone else).

 

The survey also busted the seven-year itch myth – with nearly a third (32%) of respondents’ marriages saying ended before then, lasting between one and five years. The next blip came at 6-10 years (27%), followed by 16+ years (21%) – only 5% broke up after less than a year.

 

The decision to get a divorce is a short term one for most, with over half (51%) taking less than 6 months to decide. However women spend more time thinking about getting a divorce before starting proceedings than man and not surprisingly those who were married longer and those with children also took longer. The most common thing respondent did after their confirmed divorce was celebrate.

 

Divorce seems to be losing its stigma, with 86% of those surveyed agreeing that being divorced is not something to be ashamed of, and an overwhelming majority (90%) agreed staying in an unhappy marriage can be more destructive than a divorce. Only 3% of respondents got a prenuptial agreement but a third now agree they are important.

 

Exclusive survey from Style, The Sunday Times.