“That bone”, my doctor says, “That bone is just not supposed to be there.” “Oh”, I reply. This really cannot be good. I ask for clarification just to be sure, hoping that somehow I am hearing wrong, or it isn’t as bad as it sounds. “Do you mean the bone has moved from one part of my foot to the other?” “Yes” he replies. “If it gets worse we will have to operate.” I only have one more thought: f**k!

So it turns out that the shoes I have been wearing are too high, too small and too tight. In a way I know this is all my fault. I always go out shopping for sensible shoes that I can walk in but also look good. Yes every time I come back with a pair of shoes that can only be worn for a few hours at most. Some of them are more ornament than shoe.

It’s not a height thing. One of my biggest problems with fashion magazines are when women who are 5.5 complain about being short, saying they need heels for extra height. The average woman is 5.3. So if 5.3 is average, not short, then the fashion ideal of a woman being 5.10 is not only unrealistic, it is also taller than the average male of 5.9. In fact, the majority of women in the entire world are under 5.6. I am 5.5 and don’t need 4 inch heels to feel tall. I believe height is another thing that the media uses to make women feel bad about themselves, oh, and so they then buy 4 inch heels that are expensive and cripple their feet.

The faithful Clarks shoes. By the end of the day they hurt but they score points for being wearable, long-lasting and relatively comfortable.

Upon hearing the news my fiance bans me from wearing heels but shortly relents under my withering look. I still love heels, some outfits need them and I want to, at least occasionally, party in heels. I promise to only wear them occasionally. The only problem is that I had no flat shoes apart from one pair of ballet shoes that were very tight at the front and were just too flat. I have a high arch and I need some support.

I decide to go shopping and my first purchase is a pair of Timbaland trainers. They cost £89 but I manage to get them for £55 at a Glamour Magazine shopping party. Bargain and they are very comfortable.

They are strictly daywear though, and cannot be worn to smart functions. So I still have the same problem. I buy some ankle boots from ASOS but they have some kind of default and cut into my leg, making it bleed, and also ruin some of my expensive tights. I end up mostly wearing a pair of Clarks ankle boot which I bought in 2008. They have a heel of a few inches and have only need resoled once. Score points for Clarks.

I keep looking for perfect shoes that are not too high or too tight. I just want gorgeous, wearable shoes but it just seems that womens shoes aren’t made for walking. Flat shoes hurt my feet and my shins, high heels hurt just as much. Every shoe I try on does not seem to have the wearer in mind. They are too fancy or the straps are badly placed. The heels are too skinny, the front too pointy and so obviously not made for toes. It is like some kind of Chinese foot binding. Mens shoes look good and are comfortable. Do you really think they would put up with this crap?

The limited edition Converse. Comfortable and fashionable.

In the end I just relent and buy another pair of Converse. I had worn my last pair to death and had not replaced them. Instead of the ubiquitous black I buy a limited edition pair. As for a pair of actual comfortable shoes? My quest continues….