Parenting is Not a Spectator Sport

Dear readers: rant alert.

Sitting in a cafe I am trying to relax but I cannot. There is a group of older women staring and talking about me and my two young children. Occasionally they point or make a gesture. I am fuming. Who the hell do they think they are? A few weeks later the same thing happens. And then again, and again. You see, there are people who think that a women (or even a man, I am sure) taking care of her children, or, God Forbid, relaxing while they play with a toy or colour in, is a spectator sport. Some kind of zoo animals to watch and make comments about. If it has been an isolated incident it would have been fine. Just a table full of rude women who think they can loudly talk about us and stare. The entertainment of the afternoon. Do not get me wrong. People are not always being insulting. They are mentioning how cute the children are, talking about what they are doing. Asking questions or talking about their own experiences. But that does not make it okay. We are taught at a young age that staring is rude, because it is. We are taught at a young age that talking about people is rude. As is pointing at people. So why do people think they have carte blanch when it comes to little children and their parents?

I remember being on holiday once when the two women at the next table made nasty comments all through our meal that our baby son should be in bed. It was 7pm and the first day of our holiday. When they had finished their food they came over and cooed over my infant son. Making nice comments and saying he was gorgeous. This after bitching for hours and ruining our meal. Once in the Waitrose Cafe I had two women turn their chairs around to stare at us. I was enjoying myself and my children were behaving. A rare moment of peace. I gave them an evil look, downed my drink and left. Full of rage. Being a parent is hard. Any downtime that is taken from you feels like a theft.

We seem to live in a world where it is becoming harder for people to mind their own business. The truth is: I am sick of being nice to these people. I have been so British about it and just ignored it. Occasionally I have given a look at the very rude people. The ones who do not get the message. Being the bigger person is emotionally and physically draining. So I think that the next people who want to stare at my family and/or make comments will be told where to go. Only when people get called out on their behaviour do they think about what they are doing. Hell, they may even change and become more polite. It is worth a chance.

Has this ever happened to you?

How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results Esther Wojcicki

Being a parent is complicated – but the trick to succeed is simpler than you think.

It would be an understatement to say that parenting is hard. It is, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done. It is also the most wonderful and rewarding. But that is another story. I was interested when How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results by Esther Wojcicki arrived at Frost HQ. I do not tend to read parenting books. This one comes with some good credentials. Esther Wojcicki- known as Woj- has three wildly successful daughters: YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, 23andMe Co-Founder and CEO Anne Wojcicki and Fulbright Scholar and professor of Paediatrics at UCSF Janet Wojcicki. So far so impressive. Woj is a teacher and has taught many children to reach their full potential. She is certainly well-connected and a lot of what she says is spot on. Woj says that we tend to parent the way we were parented. Making the same mistakes as our parents is damaging to our children. We need to learn how to break the cycles of negativity and bad parenting. How To Raise Successful People is a brilliant book. It should be on the bookshelf of every parent. That does not mean I agree with it all. Woj thinks it is easy to put children to sleep. It is not, and if she disagrees she can come and take care of my daughter for a couple of nights. She also says people should stay married. Even forgiving infidelity. I think staying in a bad marriage is more harmful to children than getting divorced. We have come a long way from women having to stay in bad marriages because they have no rights and no freedom. That said, I did find so much excellent stuff in this book that I do not mind the occasional disagreement. Such is life, after all.

There are no Nobel Prizes for parenting or education, but if there were, Esther Wojcicki would be the bookies’ favourite. Known as the Godmother of Silicon Valley – or simply Woj – Esther’s three daughters have all gone on to huge success in their professional fields and, more importantly, their personal lives. What’s her secret?

As we face an epidemic of parental and childhood anxiety, Woj has the advice every parent wants to hear: climb out of that helicopter and relax.

Her tried and tested TRICK system will help you:

· Let your child discover their own passions
· Move on from past parenting mistakes
· Build rock-solid foundations for a lifelong relationship
· Be brave enough to give your child freedom
· Work with your children, not against them
· Set healthy relationships with technology

Your children are the future. If you change your parenting, you can change the world.

How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results by Esther Wojcicki is available here.

You Got This by Bryony Gordon Book Review

You Got This by Bryony Gordon Book Review

You Got This is a truly fabulous book for teenage girls. Being a teenager is hard, and being a teenage girl even more so. It is a time I would not want to go back to. Especially with all of the toxic message girls get now. The rise of social media has also caused problems. This brilliant book from the amazing Bryony Gordon covers periods, comparisons and has a fantastic chapter letting teenage girls know they are not snowflakes, but are instead brave people who are standing up for equality on the basis of gender and race. I am so sick of the word ‘snowflake’. The generation who calls out racism and sexism anytime they see it are not ‘sensitive’. They are brave and making the world a better place. This book also covers mental health extensively which is to be commended. The mental health of our children is so important and educating them about mental health is essential. I also loved the bit on how girls are taught to compare themselves to others. This book is fun, smart, entertaining and full of everything I wish I had been told when I was a teenager. Absolutely brilliant.

 

I wanted to be a unicorn. I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to be an astronaut.

But the thing I really wanted to be more than anything else, was a little less like me.

It was only recently that I realised not wanting to be me was at the heart of every dumb decision I ever made. And so now I am writing this book containing all the life lessons I wish someone had taught me.

A book for the teenage girl in me. And for every teenage girl out there. Because the most powerful thing you can be when you grow up is yourself.

You Got This is available here.

 

The Moment of Lift By Melinda Gates Book Review

The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World, the moment of lift, Melinda Gates, book reviewThe Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World

Melinda Gates is the perfect example of an extraordinary woman who does not get the credit she deserves because she just happens to be married to a rich, famous man. It would be easy to dismiss her on the basis of privilege, and many people do. But to judge a woman by her husband is sexist. Melinda Gates stands as a giant in her own right. She has done so much for women’s rights and to make the world a better place. Her new book, The Moment of Lift, should be read by every single person in the world. Then the world would be a better place for everyone. Full of blistering facts and, yes, some harrowing tales; The Moment of Lift is a call to action. The book is powerful and puts up the fights for women’s rights. I hear that women have never had it so good a lot, and yet there is still so much to be done. I challenge anyone to read this book and not be inspired. When you read it you want to do something. The book covers so many aspects of gender bias: from FGM, contraception and inequality at home. Even the fact that most women do most of the domestic work is in here, and so it should be. Only recently was childcare and domestic world including by economists when it came fo GDP. Women’s work has been largely invisible and, in many ways, still is. Melinda also writes about herself and her marriage in this book. She is honest and brave. Her voice is in this book and so is her strength. It is powerful stuff. This book is essential reading and gets Frost’s Gold Standard stamp of approval. Only the second thing so far to do so.

 

A debut from Melinda Gates, a timely and necessary call to action for women’s empowerment.

“How can we summon a moment of lift for human beings – and especially for women? Because when you lift up women, you lift up humanity.”

For the last twenty years, Melinda Gates has been on a mission to find solutions for people with the most urgent needs, wherever they live. Throughout this journey, one thing has become increasingly clear to her: If you want to lift a society up, you need to stop keeping women down.

In this moving and compelling book, Melinda shares lessons she’s learned from the inspiring people she’s met during her work and travels around the world. As she writes in the introduction, “That is why I had to write this book – to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life. I want all of us to see ways we can lift women up where we live.”

Melinda’s unforgettable narrative is backed by startling data as she presents the issues that most need our attention – from child marriage to lack of access to contraceptives to gender inequity in the workplace. And, for the first time, she writes about her personal life and the road to equality in her own marriage. Throughout, she shows how there has never been more opportunity to change the world – and ourselves.

Writing with emotion, candour, and grace, she introduces us to remarkable women and shows the power of connecting with one another.

When we lift others up, they lift us up, too.

The Moment of Lift is available here.

Frost Loves Grin & Bear Queenie Bear

Nothing beats a cuddly bear. London company Grin & Bear creates the ultimate cuddly accessory with a stunning variety of patterns and materials. The bears ooze flair and originality and are now stocked in Liberty and selling all over the world. 
We love Queenie. A gorgeous 100% cotton bear covered in red love hearts. Queenie costs £69.00 and is handmade in England. 

The name Queenie is an affectionate use of the term queen – and is thought to have derived from the Old English word ‘cwen’, meaning ‘woman’

www.grinandbearlondon.com

Ergobaby Introduces New Omni 360, The Ultimate, All-In-One Baby Carrier

baby sling, baby carrier, ergo, Ergo, floral, limited edition

I love baby carriers. I do not know how I would have got through parenting without one. The comfort and closeness it gives you with your baby is amazing. It is also perfect for convenience. Put a grumpy or crying baby in a sling and you can do what needs done. Ergobaby have the new Omni 360 and I could not be more of a fan. You can carry baby in any position. It is comfortable and easier on your back and hips than other baby carriers I have used. It is well designed and looks great too. To top it off, Ergobaby have a new limited-edition print range Flores, in collaboration with established designers French Bull NYC. It is so stylish and gorgeous. I am now a huge fan of Ergobaby and their baby carrier. So much so that it is the first product to receive the new Frost Magazine Gold Standard. The highest recommendation we can give. High praise indeed. NEWBORN TO TODDLER. ALL CARRY POSITIONS. Award-winning baby carrier brand Ergobaby, designer of premium ergonomic baby carriers, is launching its newest innovation, the OMNI 360 Baby Carrier!

Ergobaby has listened to parents from all over the world, and worked with babywearing educators and doctors to develop the new OMNI 360. TheErgobaby OMNI 360 is an all-in-one baby carrier, designed for the ultimate baby and parent comfort, as well as ease of use.

As Ergobaby’s most versatile carrier yet, it offers four carry positions and enables parents to quickly and easily switch baby to face out, or in while on the move. The OMNI 360 Baby Carrier adjusts from newborn to toddler (7-33lbs), without the need for an infant insert.

Like each product in the Ergobaby range, the new Ergobaby OMNI 360 supports baby in a hip-healthy “M” shape position, at all stages and in all positions including outward-facing. Additional features include lumbar support waistbelt, extra cushioned, crossable shoulder straps, and a large, detachable storage pouch.

Key features of the Ergobaby OMNI 360 Carrier:
• Flexibility: Accommodates all carry positions: front facing parent, front facing out, hip, and back
• Adapts to baby’s growth: Newborn to toddler (7-45 lbs / 3.2-20 kg), no infant insert needed

page1image1814592page1image1815040page1image1815264page1image1815936

  • Exceptional comfort: Longwear comfort with lumbar support waistbelt and extra cushioned shoulder straps, crossable for a snugger fit and easy adjustability. Cushioned, adjustable head and neck support for baby
  • Ease of use: Easily switch baby to face out or face parent
  • Ergonomic design: Supports baby in a hip-healthy “M” shape position at allstages and in all positions. Acknowledged as a “hip healthy” product by theInternational Hip Dysplasia Institute
  • Everyday convenience: Includes a new large detachable pouch forstorage, and a tuck-away baby hood for sun protection (UPF 50+) andprivacy, e.g. for easy and discreet breastfeeding
  • Premium quality: 100% Premium Cotton and machine washableThe new collection is available available in four colors: Pure Black, Pearl Grey, Midnight Blue and Khaki Green from July 2017 from www.ergobaby.co.uk: RRP £154.90

Why Choose Babywearing?

Allowing parents to keep babies safe, comfortable and happily in close contact, babywearing has numerous physical and emotional benefits for babies’ development.

Babies are carried for nine months when parents are pregnant but when baby is born, it’s a whole new world for them. Luckily babywearing reinstates that closeness again, while also providing numerous benefits to development, both physically and emotionally. The first few months after birth is called the ‘fourth trimester’ – and for good reason, as little ones need parents more than ever as they make the transition into the world.

Babywearing allows parents to build a stronger bond between child and parent. The closeness stimulates a beneficial hormone production (Oxytocin), which results in a more intimate parental bond.

Babywearing also adds a whole new level of convenience – parents simply need place their little one in the carrier and go! This means parents can boost bonding anywhere, at anytime.

The Top 8 Benefits of Babywearing:

• Strengthens the bond between parent and baby, as you maintain a closeness throughout your day, especially during the ‘4th trimester’.

  • Aids in baby’s development, both physically and emotionally – a carried baby is generally calmer thanks to all of her primal/survival needs being met.
  • Allows breastfeeding to be done on the go, and discreetly too, if you want to be covered up. As an added bonus, breastmilk production is also boosted with close contact with baby.
  • Allows parents or caregivers to be ‘hands-free’ while baby is in the carrier and promotes exploring, discovering and navigating safely and easily, without having to maneuver a stroller. Parents are able to #CarryOn exploring life’s adventures – big and small.
  • Promotes early language development. Babies learn by watching faces and babywearing puts little one at conversational height.
  • Allows parents to see more of the world through baby’s eyes. And babies get to discover their new world from the safety and comfort of their parents’ body.
  • Fosters a closeness through toddlerhood. Toddlers can be worn too, reminding them of their ‘home base’, and allowing that bond to continue as they grow.
  • Babywearing takes babies back to their safe place and reminds them that we are ‘home’. With babywearing, love carries on.

The Ergobaby Omni 360 Flores is available here.

The Scandal by Mari Hannah | New Books

The Scandal (Stone and Oliver Book 3)

When an young man is found stabbed to death in a side street in Newcastle city centre in the run up to Christmas, it looks like a botched robbery to DCI David Stone. But when DS Frankie Oliver arrives at the crime scene, she gets more than she bargained for.

She IDs the victim as Herald court reporter, thirty-two-year old Chris Adams she’s known since they were kids. With no eyewitnesses, the MIT are stumped. They discover that when Adams went out, never to return, he was working on a scoop that would make his name. But what was the story he was investigating? And who was trying to cover it up?

As detectives battle to solve the case, they uncover a link to a missing woman that turns the investigation on its head. The exposé has put more than Adams’ life in danger. And it’s not over yet.

Available here.

Nature’s Mutiny By Philipp Blom

An interesting and well researched book.

‘Europe where the sun dares scarce appear
For freezing meteors and congealed cold.’ (Christopher Marlowe)

In this innovative and compelling work of environmental history, Philipp Blom chronicles the great climate crisis of the 1600s, a crisis that would transform the entire social and political fabric of Europe.

While hints of a crisis appeared as early as the 1570s, by the end of the 16th century the temperature plummeted so drastically that Mediterranean harbours were covered with ice, birds literally dropped out of the sky and ‘frost fairs’ were erected on a frozen Thames – with kiosks, taverns and even brothels that became a semipermanent part of the city.

Recounting the deep legacy and sweeping consequences of this ‘Little Ice Age’, acclaimed historian Philipp Blom reveals how the European landscape had ineradicably changed by the mid-17th century. While apocalyptic weather patterns destroyed entire harvests and incited mass migrations, Blom brilliantly shows how they also gave rise to the growth of European cities, the appearance of early capitalism and the vigorous stirrings of the Enlightenment.

A sweeping examination of how a society responds to profound and unexpected change, Nature’s Mutiny will transform the way we think about climate change in the 21st century and beyond.

Available here.