Category Archives: Health

Living with Alzheimers – Trying to fathom a way forward for a ‘good’ visit by Chris Suich

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The-dementia-cafe

An ominous feeling came back to me today. Covid is back in the care home. Not in Bob’s wing but still, it seems to be getting closer. I have heard of so many people with it in our market town. I am being ultra careful. PCRs and lateral flows on visiting. I cannot go back to not seeing Bob again. As an Essential Caregiver I should be OK – even with an outbreak, providing I don’t catch it! At least that information is in the government guidance due to Bob being ‘end of life’.

I heard that some staff who have not been vaccinated (as Nov 21 government  direction) have left and I wonder how this will affect the staff ratio. At least I can help Bob when I’m here so they won’t have to worry about feeding him.  I put on the PPE and walk swiftly to his room. 

Bob is very tired today. He is laid in bed comfy and warm. His head has fallen off his pillow and he is lolling over the raised plastic sides of the special ripple bed. 

I kiss his forehead and tell him I am there. ‘Chris is here and I love you very much’ 

He smiles in his sleep and I am content with that. 

I arranged the things I had brought for him. The can of lemonade, the blackcurrant tart and the chocolate buttons. The iPad is already loaded with the music for the afternoon. Fleetwood Mac and The Beatles are the albums for today. I always show him the LP cover. Sometimes he reads the title and the group. I wonder if he can remember something of the design. These LP covers were so well thumbed by Bob in the 70s and 80s.

I start the music softly even though Bob is asleep because I think he might hear it and wake a little. I am struck by the beauty of the lyrics of Songbird.

Apparently McVeigh wrote it about the self sacrifice of love and about how much love the band members had shared together over many years. I too feel that sentiment  in the quietness of Bob’s almost stark room; an enormity of love for him. For everything we have shared together, a whole lifetime of experiences and good times. I know he is on his final journey and he is leaving me a little more each time.

He tries so hard to get back to me, and I still valiantly try to stir a memory, however faint. His furrowed brow, his look of bewilderment are etched on his face regularly now. He will put his hands to his head and will shout nonsensical words and sometimes pull at his head as though in an insane terrified fever. It must be terrible to try and make sense of something that was once so well known, or have a memory at arm’s length, never to grasp it. It is awful to watch. But he looks very peaceful today. 

Bob a Good Visit

I decide to clean his nails whilst he is asleep as he is sensitive to the slightest touch. He doesn’t resist when he is asleep and the liquid soap and wet ones soon do the job.  

I have decided to chat like I always would even if Bob is asleep or inside himself.  To be normal. To tell him my news and send all the messages from friends and family. I give him a kiss from Joe and a kiss from Eddie, our sons. I tell him I helped out at the sing a long at The Dementia Cafe this week. I tell him they gave me the microphone and I ended up singing at the front. I tell him someone asked me if I was your wife and told me that they had worked with you at Tedder Hall and to give you a hug from them. They said you were a lovely man. But of course I know this! 

After two hours you begin to wake. I sit next to you so that your eyes, when they open, are at my level. ‘ Hello darling it’s Chris and I’ve come to see you’ 

You smile like you know what I’m saying. Well that’s a good start. 

I ask the carers to sit him up as his core strength has gone and he always sleeps on a slant and then gets in an awkward position. The ladies move him onto a pillow and I sit him up on the ripple bed. I put on his glasses and tell him again who I am. He looks vacant and seems to be staring ahead, not really seeing. 

I have a routine and it is familiar to Bob as I do the same thing every visit. 

I tell him I’ve brought him chocolate buttons and he opens his mouth ready for me to put some in. He understood that alright! It gets him in a good mood. 

Then I try to get the drinks down him. He sometimes doesn’t seem to drink much. It takes a long time and patience is needed. I have that. I always see a difference once I get the fluids into him.  I pour the lemonade into a small lipped beaker. It’s a job to make sure I don’t give him too much at a time. Being vigilant I manage two beakers of drink. I try to get 3-4 down him in the 3-4 hrs I stay. He seems to wake a little more. 

‘I’m staying to give you your tea tonight Bob.’ It is mashed potato, carrots, spring greens and meatloaf, all chopped up of course. I have brought in the pudding – blackcurrant tart. I feed Bob with a spoon. He takes a while but today he eats quite well and doesn’t push it back on the spoon. The blackcurrant tart chopped into small pieces is enjoyed but it’s always the puddings that go down well. Recently I’ve taken to making him food from home and he loves that and his mouth opens wide. Pasta and poached salmon are his favourites.

After tea I put on the TV for the 6 pm news. Bob always watched the news. He sometimes says’ Hello’ to the newsreader. But before that it’s Tipping Point which he loves. He likes to see the counters dropping down and he can still read the amounts of money the contestants win. I always give him a commentary of what is happening and he seems to get something positive from it. 

I have learnt that to say ‘I’m going now’ makes him agitated so I now say ‘ I’m going to order you a hot chocolate’. I give him another kiss and leave. He is content.

It has become increasingly difficult to think how to help Bob have a good visit. He is getting so he is unable to respond or understand much nowadays. I have had to come to terms with the fact that perhaps this is a good visit now. This is the best I can expect. 

Occasionally he will say ‘ You’re lovely’ or You’re my best friend’ or if I’m lucky ‘Thank you, I love you’. In some ways that’s harder when he seems to realise, but I’d take those words any day.

Globally, 1 in 4 women have nowhere to manage their periods safely.

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Fempowered is WaterAid’s period subscription box, offering plastic free and 100% organic-certified period products with 100% of profits going to WaterAid projects.

water aid, periods, period poverty,

Fempowered monthly period subscription box: £10 including a £3 donation to WaterAid.

This Menstrual Hygiene Day on 28th May, international charity WaterAid is asking the British public to help transform the lives of women and girls around the world by subscribing to Fempowered, WaterAid’s monthly period subscription box. 

The box costs £10 a month and, with 100% of profits (£3/box) going to WaterAid projects, it provides a unique way for people to get eco-friendly, organic and plastic-free sanitary products delivered to their homes each month, while helping women and girls around the world to manage their periods safely and with dignity.

As a special offer, Fempowered is also offering new subscribers 30% off their first three boxes, using the code IMNEWHERE.

On any given day, 288 million people are menstruating. Yet one in four have no access to a decent toilet, and therefore nowhere safe and private to manage their period. Globally, 37% of schools do not have decent sanitation, meaning nearly 700 million pupils attend a school without a working toilet that locks. As a result, many girls skip school when on their period putting their future goals in jeopardy.

In many places, talking about menstruation is also shrouded in shame and silence. Often, girls don’t know about periods before they start, and many live in fear of rejection from their communities just because they’re bleeding.

Through purchasing WaterAid’s Fempowered bespoke period box, subscribers can support the international charity’s vital work to end this silence and discrimination around periods and help ensure all menstruating women and girls have access to the knowledge, facilities and materials to enable them to manage their periods and feel empowered to lives their lives to the full.

Therese Mahon, Regional South Asia Manager at WaterAid said:

“Globally, one in four women and girls are denied access to a decent toilet and a private space to manage their periods hygienically and with dignity. Menstrual health requires access to female friendly toilets with water and soap available at all times. Without access to these facilities at home, school, work and in public places during their menstruation, girls are at risk of missing school, whilst women can miss out on the chance to earn a decent income. 

“Periods are nothing to be embarrassed about yet there still exists a culture of silence and shame, which means the needs of women and girls are often overlooked, impacting their health and opportunities.

“Through Fempowered’s monthly period box, people can help us tackle stigma and discrimination and ensure those who menstruate can manage their periods with dignity.”

To subscribe and to find out more about Fempowered’s sustainable period products that give back, visit www.fempowered.me.

 

New Launches for ESPA & Christophe Robin

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We are super-excited about two new launches from Christophe Robin and ESPA. First up is Christophe Robin Healthy Glow Duo – RRP: £17.00

This contains minis of Cleansing purifying scrub with sea salt and Hydrating melting mask with aloe vera. The perfect ritual for a healthy scalp and deeply hydrated, shiny hair. A 2-step routine to gently detoxify the scalp and deeply hydrate and illuminate hair. This duo really works wonders. It smells great too. We cannot recommend it enough.

ESPA , Christophe Robin, new launches

Next up is ESPA Herbal Tea Infusion RRP: £15.00
Partnering with the mood-boosting benefits of the aromatherapy products in ESPA’s Signature Blends collection, these handcrafted wellbeing teas with their delicious flavours and beautiful aromatics are companions for modern living. With a choice of 6 blends in total, each infusion expertly blended to create moments throughout your day to pause, reflect, connect and inspire, from when you wake in the morning until you’re ready to turn out the lights at night.

Everything about this herbal tea infusion is perfect: the caddy is stylish and elegant. The tea is delicious and relaxing.  It brings instant joy every single time you use it. Love.

 

Living with Alzheimer’s – I am an Essential Caregiver by Chris Suich

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At last, I’m Bob’s ‘essential care giver’!

It has been a tumultuous battle this year for me and many thousands more up and down the country who have been desperately fighting to see their loved ones in care homes for a year and more. Our loved one’s mental health and well-being have not being considered; the laws that are there to protect the vulnerable have been ignored. I was reading recently that there is a catastrophic hidden cost of Covid because many dementia sufferers have simply given up, refused food, and died because they do not understand why their loved ones have stopped coming to see them. Despair and loneliness the silent killer.
My husband went into care just a week before the first lockdown when there was no vaccine and limited knowledge about how to halt this pandemic’s spread. I understood why I wasn’t allowed in and resorted to waving from the road or at the window with the British spirit of ‘ stiff upper lip’ and put my own agonies aside as this terrible Covid 19 meant we all had sacrifices to make. I was kept away, not able to hold his hands –even outside in the summer when the R rate was low, even though I was willing to wear PPE and do anything else required.  Then he caught Covid inside the home but fought and got better from it. This was devastating and the site was closed – all window visits stopped and I heard nothing for two months until I begged the GP to check on him.

Today we are in a very different position; so it makes no sense why some care homes cannot follow the latest government guidance of April 2021 and allow indoor visits mitigating risk, using lateral flow tests and PPE for all care homes everywhere.

For my part, I have been well supported by the founders of John’s Campaign – Julia Jones and Nicci Gerrard, as well as Leigh and Day solicitors and Rights for Residents founders Diane Mayhew and Jenny Morrison. Their steadfast advice and ability to cut through the legislation to make it clear and understandable has been invaluable. The publicity they have commanded on media, TV and radio raising the profile of care home visiting and the articulate way Jenny spoke to the Harriet Harman  select committee recently has been both humbling and a cause for jubilation. She spoke for me and for everyone.

I did everything I could to try to persuade the manager to let me in. I explained about ‘end of life’ being 6-12 months not just imminent death. The guidance states this and also that visits should be facilitated. But to be brutally honest, it wasn’t until we sought legal advice and sent a letter that a meeting with the Regional manager was organised which resulted in making me an essential care giver. In addition, Joe, our eldest son has been made a  designated visitor when he can get freed up from his shifts in the hospital. There is a very detailed personalised risk assessment. I have PCR test and a  lateral flow with the carers and home staff weekly and another lateral flow test every time I visit. It is a small inconvenience. I can now see my Bob for two whole hours twice a week in his room. I am ecstatic.

Much has changed. He doesn’t ask to hold my hand anymore he’s forgotten how to hold hands. I still hold his though and stroke his hands and face. He doesn’t know who I am anymore but he knows I’m ‘lovely’. He rarely understands but he seems content and searches my face and loves it when I smile. I play him lots of music. The tracks from his youth. The bands he actually booked when he was President of the Entertainment Committee whilst at Sheffield University in the 70s. Our youngest son still in Australia has suggested a playlist.
I try to keep to a routine. He likes a hot chocolate and I feed it to him at 3 pm in a beaker every time I visit. I give him chocolate buttons on his tongue. I always play ‘Oblah  Dee Oblah dah’ and he has started to la la la which I’m thrilled  about. I think he’s happy when I’m there, he chitter chats in a completely non-sensical way but I go along with it all. I’m trying to get a little bit back from him and I’m succeeding. He looks better and is not so agitated. He lets me put his cardigan on without a fight and brush his teeth with a soft brush. He does still call out randomly and hallucinate but generally he’s content. I too am content. I can check he’s clean, his room is kept nice and he’s as healthy as can be expected. The carers are kind and courteous to me. I thank them. They cannot fail to see the bond between us. He’s still there deep inside and he does come back to me a little every visit.
So today I had another visit and it does us both good. I left him wrapped in the memory blanket with the pictures of our family on it.
I am very lucky to have this precious time and I pray that everyone will see their loved ones soon, before it’s too late.

5 reasons to start lifting weights in 2021

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Are you considering lifting weights? Maybe you’re worried about looking too bulky, or you’re concerned it won’t fit into your regular training program – whatever your reasons for avoiding weights so far, the truth is, in terms of fitness, you’re missing out.

Lifting weights is beneficial for everyone, regardless of their age or gender. Of course, most of us gravitate towards the cardio machines at the gym, but in terms of overall health and mental wellbeing weight training ticks all the boxes.

Here we’ll explore 5 reasons to start lifting weights in 2021.

You can workout at home

Whether you’re living in a small space, or you’re on a tight budget, not everyone can afford to fill their home with pricey cardio equipment. And not everyone enjoys running in all weathers and in public. Incorporating weightlifting into your daily workout routine means you can have access to gym equipment like quality cast iron kettlebells at home as well as hand weights and dumbbells. All these options allow you to create diverse and challenging weight training programs. Encouraging you to push your limits, focus on your strength and build on your muscle mass. Weight training is convenient and accessible for everyone.

You’ll sleep better

When we push ourselves and take regular exercise, we sleep better. It’s a fact. So, if your exercise routines have taken a bit of a hit since going into lockdown or due to your gym closing, your sleep may not be as refreshing or as deep as you’re used to. Studies have shown that those who focus on weight training sleep much deeper and wake fewer times in the night when compared to those who don’t exercise at all. Sleep is important for the muscle repair process, so the more you get – the better. 

Your clothes will fit you better

Whether you’re trying to lose weight or not, when you start lifting weights, you’re stripping back fat and revealing muscle, which means your clothes will fit and look better on you. It sounds perplexing. But building muscle may help you lose fat more effectively than cardio-focused exercise alone. Just remember to watch your diet and you’ll soon notice your progress.

Lift for your mental health

All forms of exercise are known to release endorphins, a chemical that triggers a feeling of contentment and positivity and weightlifting is no exception. Interestingly, weightlifting has also been connected to strengthening mental health and helping people who suffer from anxiety and depression. You don’t have to be an Olympic weight lifter to feel the benefits. Weightlifting means increased confidence and a stronger mental outlook.

Your bones will also benefit

Weightlifting and strength training can help reduce the risk of bone fractures and other skeletal problems by increasing bone density. Studies have shown that strength training also reduces the risk of osteoporosis, and as it’s an effective form of training to reduce fat, there’ll be less weight and pressure on your joints.

Final thoughts…

As you can see, there are plenty of reasons to pick up those dumbbells and kettlebells and start weight training. What are you waiting for? 

 

Collaborative post with out brand partner.

Living with Alzheimer’s – The Fight Goes on by Chris Suich

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Today I am watching the morning news about a gentleman called John. He had just passed away and was over a hundred years old.  He was on the news now because he had been talking about his loneliness in his care home just before Christmas and people had sent him Christmas cards and lovely messages which helped him overcome this. His wife had died of Covid 19 in March and they had been married 70 years. It was a sad story. It made me think of Bob and how lonely he must feel in his care home.

It is 300 days since I last held his hands or even had any meaningful close contact.  The care home has stopped all visits even looking through the window at him. This is since the second lockdown in November. No Christmas visits.

He  caught Covid. It was 2 weeks after the Lockdown and then he miraculously fought it and got better from it, only mild symptoms. I asked our GP to go in and check him. She confirmed this but said he was very frail. I know this. I have to see this on my weekly Skype for 30 minutes. This is all the contact I am allowed. It is very upsetting for both of us.

Bob does not understand where I am. He looks around the room for me. How cruel is that for his brain? He can hear my voice and thinks I am in the room. He said once, ‘It’s magic,’ because he doesn’t understand the screen and how I can be on it. He reaches for me. At other times he is agitated and tells me ‘She’s dead, dead, dead’ or ‘Shut up.’ I carry on showing him round the house, playing him some records of his favourite tracks, telling him I love him and Joe and Edd send him a kiss. I wave and blow kisses to the screen. Often there is no response. His eyes are not looking. He is staring but not focussing. Sometimes he seems to be trying to dredge up some memory of me but I am not physically there or touching him so he cannot fathom it.

I have not been idle in my quest to see him. I have gone through all the government guidance. It is updated regularly. Window visits can go ahead. Pod visits can go ahead. PPE guidance needs to be followed and personalised risk assessments done. I point it out but that’s all I can do.

The recent third Lockdown has not helped me. The R rate is low where I live in rural Lincolnshire. My headteacher has agreed to me working from home. Keeping safe for Bob just in case I get the phone call. Teaching on Zoom is not easy.

I have alerted my Admiral nurse and my Social worker and the home manager that Bob is ‘end of life’. I have given them a letter from my GP.  New guidance ‘Rules during Lockdown’ p 5 states that exceptional circumstances such as ‘end of life is a compassionate reason for me to have visits and not just at the very end of life. It states that I am allowed to leave home to visit a care home (it is a walk from my home). It directs the reader to the latest guidance which was 19 December 2020 updated from 1 December 2020. There is a section on exceptional circumstances 2.4

The key message states ‘Visits in exceptional circumstances such as ‘end of life’ should always be supported and enabled and not just at the very end of life.’

A December letter from the care home described exceptional circumstances as imminent death – the last 48 hours and not 6-12 months. They said they will let me know when this 48 hours is by phone and a visit will be ‘timed, appointment only and 2m away’

Obviously, this is horrendous. The GP has been great and has spoken to the home  to confirm Bob has months to live in her opinion.  We believe this too because the trajectory of decline has been profound. I believe his illness has declined more quickly because he has not had the stimulation from myself visiting him. She agreed with us that the home would find it difficult to predict Bob’s last 48 hours as she would too. I am terrified I won’t see Bob for a meaningful visit before he dies. Everyone knows this, including the home. I am tired of their empathy or that their ‘hands are tied.’

Today after a discussion with the Social Worker and Admiral nurse – both amazingly supportive,  the manager rang me to say her regional manager will allow me a window visit weekly if  the tests for Bob’s unit comes back negative in the next day or two. They were all negative a few days before.

Surely I could have been having  window visits in any case as the virus does not jump through glass.

When the vaccine gets to his unit it will protect residents and carers. Most have already had the virus; surely they will have some anti-bodies?

So I wait until the unit have had the vaccine and then wait the 3 weeks for the protection – which will be another month – then I want to visit Bob in his room having had a negative test myself and wearing PPE. I think I am more than reasonable. I hope I am not too late.

I was on BBC news in November at 6 pm and 10 pm. It was my last window visit. It is a harrowing film but truthful. Alison Holt, health journalist is following my story. A local councillor got in touch; she had worked with Bob in his local government role for many years and she is beavering away in the background. I have had messages from friends in London that Bob went to university with many moons ago.

The Human Rights law has been broken – right to a family life, the Equality Act never adhered to – and as I am appointed his voice via the Deprivation of Liberty as he has no mental  capacity as well as POA I am trying to fight for what he would want – which is me!

Sadly, there are thousands more like me. Many didn’t win this battle in time.

Living with Alzheimer’s – It’s Nearly Christmas, Bob by Chris Suich

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‘ Hello, Bob, hello. It’s Chris, darling. Wake up, it’s Chris. I’ve come to see you. I ‘ve brought you presents; some cider, some chocolate Santa’s, videos of The Snowman, and some Disney films. ‘

‘It is 3rd December.’

‘It’s nearly Xmas, Bob’.  The first one without him at home, I think. I’ll be home, it’ll be just another day. I’m OK with it.

I haven’t seen Bob for a month. I have been very anxious.
It was the second Lockdown and his Care home was closed to even window visits. I tried to persuade them to let me keep coming – to have a window visit for 30 minutes weekly. It was my lifeline and Bob’s stimulation; to keep him going, to try to hold onto a fragment of me for his memory. I needed to see him. It helped me to be less anxious; to help me sleep, to keep the pain subsided,  that pervaded my chest. I pleaded that Covid could not jump through glass. The government guidance said window visits should still occur, but it didn’t matter. I wrote to the regional manager, even Matt Hancock. The great letter writer, that’s me  but mostly there was nothing, because the government guidance was just that – guidance.

Then the regional manager rang me to say that Covid was in the home and public health had advised them to be in lockdown. This was almost 2 weeks into the England lockdown. I asked him if it was in Bob’s building but he wasn’t specifically sure. That was Friday. On the Monday the nurse rang to say they were trying to swab Bob but he wasn’t having it. No, I thought, he wouldn’t take too kindly to having a stick pushed up his nose! By Thursday when the phone rang and I heard the words ‘duty to inform you ‘ I knew he’d got it. But the miracle was he had only mild symptoms. He has got over it. I think. 4 weeks without seeing him!

So now he is at the window. He is asleep in the Stirling chair lolling to one side. Coughing a little but mainly asleep. He is frail. His cheeks have that hollow look. I talk to him the whole time trying to stimulate some recognition. I say Joe sends a kiss and Eddie sends a kiss all the way from Australia. I tell him I love him and I talk about a load of nothing. He briefly opens his eyes and there is a brief recollection that I think he knows me. I stay the full 30 minutes under the big black umbrella because it is pouring rain and has been all day. My feet are cold and wet in my boots. I am stood in the garden looking into the window, bobbing up and down, trying to get to his eye level. The window is shut– he probably can’t hear me anyway, but I have to come.

I know in a month he has taken another dip but just seeing him peacefully sleeping gives me the contentment I need. It is very difficult. I asked about the rapid testing that the government said would be rolled out to care homes. The manager did not know about them. I said it’s been all over the news. I take a test. I get in PPE. The text comes back negative and I can see Bob. But no, there was no news on that in this care home. I am sure that this will not get to Lincolnshire anytime soon. Then there is the Covid outbreak in the home. Maybe that will make it even more difficult to get inside to see him at his room if he can’t get up. He was in bed for weeks whilst he was isolated and that comes with its own problems and risks. I just want to see him properly. To touch him. No touching since the 12 March. No hand holding, no hugs, no kisses.

I rang the GP – could she help me if he was end of life? Would I have more chance of seeing him properly, have a meaningful visit? I asked the care home when they considered end of life visiting. The last two days. The NHS nursing guidelines say it is  if a person is not expected to live a year. I now have a fight to be able to see Bob properly before the last two days.

The little tree is put up from the garden, we recycle it every year. It is decorated with all the baubles we collected over the last 40 years. Bob would want me to carry on the same and I am. Dr Joe is working nights including Christmas Eve and Eddie is still in Australia. I hope to see Bob, that would be lovely!

breathe ilo Review: The Revolutionary New Fertility Tracker

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 breathe ilo review, fertility, fertility tracker

TTC (trying to conceive) is not fun at all, more than that, it can be very expensive. Peeing on sticks and taking your temperature is a faff and can be time-consuming. Never mind the cost to the environment. Breathe ilo has now launched so we thought we would give it a review. breathe ilo is the world’s first fertility tracker that uses breath analysis (CO2) to identify ovulation patterns.

The new technology signals a shift so women no longer need to track their cycles by urinating on a stick or by measuring their temperature early in the morning. The innovative device works by simply breathing and displays the results in just 60 seconds, with no consumables or maintenance needed. Through consistent daily use, the breath analysis tracker empowers women to understand their body and cycle phases better.

The breathe ilo app, which is compatible with iOS and Android, features a calendar that displays a clear overview of fertile days and a cycle diary to learn more about individual cycle patterns. breathe ilo’s cycle diary also offers the possibility to document further cycle symptoms like breast tenderness, PMS, cervical mucus, or headaches to help prepare women for their next cycle.

So, does it work and is it easy to use? Yes and yes. Quite a few women have got pregnant using it already and we expect that number to rise. You charge the device, download the app and then you breathe into the device and can log your cycle. It is so easy and convenient. The device is small and stylish. It’s tracking is different from conventional methods, Breathe ILO precisely detects a woman’s menstruation cycle. It uses a live tracking system, which uses an AI-based learning algorithm which improves all of the time. The device also works with irregular cycles. It can detect five out of six fertile days on average. You can also choose what  time of day you use the device, unlike other methods which need to be done at the same time each day. I cannot recommend the breathe ilo enough. It takes the stress out of cycle tracking and is so easy to use. Full marks.

With the option to buy a device for £259.00 or rent for £29.90 a month, breathe ilo is available to purchase exclusively now at  www.breatheilo.com