David Ledain is the author of Gay Dad – Ten True Stories of Divorced Gay Men with Kids, Living in the UK Today. Ledain, divorced himself and with two grown up sons, lives in Chichester, West Sussex. His latest book; This Forbidden Fruit: Male Homosexuality – A Culture & History Guide explores what it means to be gay; to live an authentic life when there are little or no references to base it upon.
Our culture provides heterosexual men and women with a vast tradition and depth of lore about what it means to be straight. Women grow up with the myths of Eve, Gaia and the Virgin Mary, while men have Adam, Mars, Zeus and the great religious prophets to identify with. Imagine a world for instance without the representation of women anywhere; a fictitious world in which there are no positive images or examples of women in the church, in government, in film, books or on TV, or indeed of playing any meaningful role throughout history. It is unbelievable, yet this is the way homosexuals have lived, without any gay male archetypes. Because of this lack of backstory, every new gay-themed film, TV show or book that appears, every new celebrity or politician who comes out, is so significant to our collective gay story that we jump on it voraciously. Often, this causes a backlash and straight people can be heard saying things along the lines of ‘They’ve got equal marriage, they can join the army, there are no anti-gay laws anymore, what more do they want? Why do they have to keep harping on?’
Growing up without proper foundations of myth, gender diverse references or role models, is not equality, so every single gay story is as important today as it ever was, even when we have come so far. Story-telling is a fundamental building block of any society. It is what makes us human – passing on our traditions, our wisdom, our folklore and myths from one generation to another. And that is true for homosexuals as well.
This Forbidden Fruit reveals the facts and legends; from Homosexuality in Literature to Coming Out in the Forces; from the First World War – Homosexuality Under Fire to David Bowie 1972; and why, against all odds, homosexuals exist at all.
One possible reason for the evolutionary existence of homosexuals is a means to defend their mothers and siblings by bringing special skills to the family unit that might otherwise be lacking in the other sons. Research shows that another factor in the propensity to bear a gay son might be due to a traumatic event endured by the mother during pregnancy, thus creating the correct hormonal environment for the unborn male foetus to develop more caring, nurturing traits that would be necessary to safeguard the mother’s future well-being. These scenarios require the son to have good caring and nurturing skills, and also to be a character who can negotiate and reconcile situations when for instance, food and resources essential to the family are in limited supply. Homosexual men, though often portrayed in the guise of the stereotypical drama queen, the self-centred narcissist or the vitriolic one-line bitch, more often than not possesses the antitheses of these less desirable character attributes, with softer, more compassionate and supportive qualities. Drawing people together, reconciling, co-operating, and understanding opposite points of view, is familiar to the homosexual character. It is this mythos we need to explore, refine and tell.
You can follow David on Facebook & Twitter @Davidledain
And visit his website www.gaydad.co.uk for more information and his blog.
