Tag Archives: christmas

LAST MINUTE MAN. {Christmas Gift Idea}

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SELFRIDGES LAUNCHES SOS SHOPPING SERVICE FOR MEN-ONLY FOLLOWING NEWS THAT 80 PER CENT OF ITS CHRISTMAS EVE SHOPPERS ARE EXPECTED TO BE MALE

80 per cent of shoppers at Selfridges on Christmas Eve are expected to be men

He’s only had 365 days to complete it, however Selfridges, the world’s best department store reveals that for yet another year, 80 per cent of its male shoppers have left it to the final hour to purchase Christmas presents for their nearest and dearest.

Selfridges anticipates over 250,000 customers to start their festive shopping on Christmas Eve, and the majority of these to be men who rely on the expertise of sales colleagues to emerge laden with a gift selection that will bring tears of joy (instead of just tears), on Christmas morning.

With this in mind, Selfridges is to introduce a special 30 minute SOS shopping service for those men who are clueless to the art of Christmas present buying. Starting Saturday 18th December, and running until stores close at 5.30pm on Christmas Eve, Selfridges’ Gift Gurus will offer male customers an express 30-minute no fuss service – guaranteed to cater for all their last minute panic Christmas gifts.

The Gift Guru Express service will be available in all Selfridges’ stores nationwide. Customers are asked to go to Selfridges’ information desk, where the closest Gift Guru will be contacted via a radio-link and the 30 minutes starts from then. The service, which was trialled last weekend, was inundated with men wanting to take advantage of wrapping up their Christmas in one swift 30 minute session.

According to scientists, the reason behind men’s last minute panic Christmas shopping, compared to female’s more considered approach, is down to a woman’s love of spending hours browsing in shops while men prefer to be in and out in minutes, reflecting their primitive past when women foraged whilst men hunted and gathered.

Selfridges’ Gift Guru, Ena O’Neill said: “Last minute man does his desperate shopping in the final hours of Christmas Eve. He comes in and asks to be shown the most expensive fragrance and just goes with that. The trick to productive gift buying, even for those who have left it to the final hour is to prepare a list. Don’t be afraid of asking questions, to find out what people actually want, what size they are, and any dislikes. I am always amazed at how many men are petrified of shopping. Last weekend we had many grab-and-run male shoppers who admitted disliking the gift buying experience, but left the store with a a huge smile after their 30 minute, hassle free shopping session.”

Anne Pitcher, Buying & Merchandising Director at Selfridges said; “For some men, shopping at this time of the year can be quite a stressful and daunting experience, especially for those not accustomed to gift buying. Our Gift Guru Express service is targeted at these men specifically, and provides them with a productive and effective service, all keeping within the festive spirit”

Selfridges’ Top Ten Gift Guru Express Gifts (jewellery):

1. Chanel J12 watch in blue from £2,750
2. Boucheron Four Gold Ring, £2,160 without diamonds, £4,390 with diamonds
3. Theo Fennell Skull Ring in silver, from £250
4. Missoni Toy Watch £385
5. Natalia Brilli gold watch bracelet £205
6. Lanvin glass pompom necklace £1,115
7. Yves Saint Lauren arty cuff £595
8. Georg Jenson fusion white gold ear studs £895
9. Hermes Enamel bracelet £375
10. Tiffany Praseolite cocktail ring £635

Selfridges’ Top Ten Gift Guru Express Gifts (beauty):

1. Bare Escentuals make up box £500
2. Benefit Dolls House £400
3. Chanel No 5 soap box set £30
4. Nars Kabuki Box Bowls £95
5. Lancome Exclusive Juicy Tube gift set, £30
6. Bobbi Brown Deluxe Beauty Trunk £350
7. Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir Collection £259
8. Vivienne Westwood Naughty Alice 50ml gift set, £50
9. Supersized Chanel No. 5 £800-£3,000
10. Creme de La Mer Globetrotter £950

Send Love and Laughter on the Move this Christmas. {Technology}

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Send Love and Laughter on the Move with New Me to You and Violent Veg E-Card Sender Apps

Sending a text message or email to say Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday is a nice enough way to show someone you’re thinking of them, but lets face it – it’s not very exciting. Revolutionise your message sending while you’re on the move with the launch of the Me to You and Violent Veg iPhone e-card sender apps, which allow you to instantly send a card via email and add your own personal touch.

The new Me to You and Violent Veg iPhone apps are available to download from the App Store today (10th December) and 20th December respectively, with birthday, Christmas and New Year messages to kick start your card sending frenzy. All you need to do is go to your App Store app, search ‘Me to You’ or ‘Violent Veg’, and click to download. Each app is £1.79 and contains 10 cards that you can send as many times and to as many people as you like. You can even download a LITE version to trial the app for free.

To show that special someone how much you care pick one of the beautifully illustrated e-cards from the Me to You birthday, New Year or Christmas apps. As well as being able to send e-cards, you can also watch the Tatty Teddy story, view your sent e-cards and buy new e-cards from the app.

If you want to keep them laughing all the way, send a personalised card from the Violent Veg birthday, Christmas or New Year app. You can share the hilarious vegetable-based humour gags in an instant plus find out more about the Violent Veg characters and even view a video of how the Violent Veg gags are created.

Both apps are the perfect way for letting family and friends abroad that you’re thinking of them if you have missed the postal deadline. Send a personalised e-card from any of the apps and across the other side of the world your nearest and dearest will instantly receive your message of love or laughter.

Further iPhone apps will be launched in 2011. More for more information on Me to You and Violent Veg visit www.metoyou.com and www.violentveg.com

Matt Cardle wins The X Factor.

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X FACTOR WINNER

MATT CARDLE

‘WHEN WE COLLIDE’

DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE NOW Available here

CD RELEASED WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 15th

The most exciting, controversial and highest rated series of ITV1’s X Factor has finally crowned its victor, in the form of 27 year old Matt Cardle.

After capturing the hearts of the nation, Matt will now release his first ever single ‘When We Collide’ on Syco Music/Sony. Written and originally recorded by Scottish indie outfit Biffy Clyro, the mesmerising track will be released digitally shortly after the X Factor Final on all major platforms including iTunes, Play.com, Amazon.com and HMV.com. CD manufacturers are heading into meltdown to meet colossal demand for the physical release of the single, on shelves Wednesday 15th December.

The CD release will feature three bonus tracks: ‘Just The Way You Are,’ ‘First Time Ever I Saw Your Face’ and ‘Nights In White Satin,’ three audience favourites from Matt’s time on the show.

During the last four months Matt Cardle has enchanted audiences with his sublime timbre. Mentored by Dannii Minogue, his renditions of ‘You’ve Got The Love,’ ‘….Baby One More Time’ and ‘When Love Takes Over’ have helped him ensnare the imagination of millions. Now with a major recording deal with Syco Music/Sony, and a clear creative direction of his own, Matt will set to fashioning an album worthy of his unique talent.

The X Factor 2010 has been the most successful series of the talent show to date, with a record peak audience of 15.4 million tuning in to watch last night’s semi final show.

www.mattcardlemusic.com

www.facebook.com/mattcardlemusic
twitter.com/matt_cardle_uk

Take a Peek at BBC's Christmas {TV}

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Take a look at some of the highlights of the BBC’s bumper selection of festive TV fare with our Christmas showreel.

Among the great clips watch the hair-raising moment when the Top Gear presenters realise which country they have landed in and what lies ahead; see Matt Smith as the ghost of Christmas past in Doctor Who – A Christmas Carol, laugh as the Royle’s prepare for Christmas day in The Royle Family and see some of the drama that lies aheads for the residents of Albert Square in EastEnders and take a look at a selection of Matt Lucas and David Walliams‘ latest comic creations from their new show Come Fly With Me.

Entertainment
Featuring impressive entertainment from Top Gear Special, Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special, Giles And Sue Live The Good Life, The Rob Brydon Show and Jools’ Annual Hootenanny.

Drama
Featuring stunning drama from Doctor Who – A Christmas Carol, Whistle And I’ll Come To You, Upstairs Downstairs, Toast, Eric And Ernie and EastEnders.

Londoners Life 6 by Phil Ryan

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Londoners Life 6 – by Phil Ryan

I see the London spirit of Christmas is unrolling now. Which brings me to the real growing spirit of Christmas. Spirit. You suddenly can’t move at the moment in London for drunks. It’s not just me. Even the local paper round here commented on it. Maybe it’s the coming second recession? Getting on the tube on a Friday night after eleven nowadays is like getting inside a can of Fosters with seats. You just breathe in and you’re intoxicated. And take a look at Leicester Square at 12.00ish on a Saturday. It looks like a rehearsal for a Zombie movie. Shuffling shambling weirdos staggering down every side street. Like children’s puppets on Calpol. Admittedly some are the Hare Krishnas but you can usually spot them by the drummer. And as far as I know they don’t drink. Well not when on duty. I often try to imagine the nightly parade up at Krishna Head quarters. Right lads were going out now. Keep a good formation. Plenty of Hare hare’s. Flog those CDs like your life depends on it. Vishnu you were off time last night. Get it together lad! It’s up on the first syllable and down on the next. The rest of you try and look blissed out of your faces. You know the enlightened look. And keep that constant shuffle going. But I digress.

Seriously the drink issue in London is not hard to see. It’s like the 11.30 guy. You see him every weekend. Unconscious on the Circle Line. A line of drool slowly escaping from one side of his mouth. He’s slumped in his usual I’ve got no idea who or where I am position. His snores barely audible. He’s always in a crumpled grey suit. His tie way off at an angle. He’s probably missed his stop four times. But he gets home. Eventually. Somehow. A bit like pigeons I suppose. Some instinct. A navigation device provided by nature. But as a drunk he has to overcome one huge and deadly hurdle. A true London hazard. The hot dog guys.

These charming creatures are usually shifty looking murderer lookalikes and dress in the oddest uniform. Beanie woolly hat. Leather jacket. Jogging Bottoms. And nameless training shoes. They all smoke. Furtively. Most are unshaven and have that curious blue stubble face like a cartoon. Presumably it all comes as part of their training package. Just part of The Hot Dog University of London’s student body elite. Make no mistake. This is food for drunks. But woe betide the innocent tourist they entrap. Their next view of London will be gazing down one of our finest toilet bowls. A view of their hotel they really weren’t expecting. But as I say it’s the drunks who must be their main prey. You’d have to be drunk to be lured into buying one. The noisy sizzling. The heady aroma of onions and rat urine drifting like an unheavenly cloud on the breeze. The hot dogs or unidentified waste product as they’re better known in Environmental Health circles all soaking in the year old grease (as they cook for the ninetieth time). Only the completely inebriated cannot resist. Wily Londoners know this. Drunken ones flock like wasps round a jam jar. And you can often see where after consuming one they have charmingly decided to eject it! I believe the vernacular has it as pavement pizza. Still it beats an enema.
But with the sudden explosion in health food shop/cafes in London that’s often taken care of for you. London seems to have suddenly stealthily filled up with little trendy looking delicatessens on every off high street location. All boasting a small café area inside. You can’t miss them. Everything’s wholemeal. Staff included. And they all smell like an old stable. The shops and cafes I mean not the staff. Usually a cute little bell tinkles when you warily step inside. Like an old fashioned shop. Nice touch. But beware. Smiley young staff in forest green looking aprons stand about trying not to burst out laughing when you ask the price of a titchy jar of Andulisian honey. Trust me. Don’t ask. It’s all pricey beyond belief. But kind of nice in a trendy sort of I have too much money sort of way. I’m sure it all tastes very nice. I’m thinking of applying for a loan this week to buy some Cornish artisan otter cheese and two loaves of Kentish granary and grit bread. Don’t get me wrong I hate supermarkets. It’s just this lot are the other extreme. Food as fashion and a statement about you. Honestly. They don’t seem to sell normal food. Even when you sit down for a cup of tea to get over the shock it’s always Burmese green tea or burlap, wood and dandelion infusions whilst the cakes look like Buffalo excretions dusted with Bear excretions. It’s all about grains. Apparently. Nuts. Seeds. Earth. Natural roughage. Hence the free enema point from earlier. This stuff passes through you quicker than the time a Camden traffic warden takes to ticket a disabled person’s car. But it’s healthy I’m told. Smaller independent shops (which I’m all for) selling locally sourced produce. Look around. They’re everywhere now. And do we buy it. Yes of course we do. It’s a London thing.

Oxfam + Maths Expert = Formula for a Happy Christmas!

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7,000 calories, three weeks off work, 15cm of snow and no more than 10 hours of shopping. These are four of the factors that make Christmas perfect according to Oxfam Unwrapped, the charity’s gift range, which has teamed up with maths expert Chris Green today to unveil its formula for a happy Christmas.

The full mathematical formula looks like this (click to enlarge):

Rick Lay, Oxfam Unwrapped campaign manager, said: “Christmas is the busiest time for Oxfam Unwrapped. Around 80% of the money we raise is given over the festive period, so we were really keen to find out what makes people happy at this time of year; what makes a perfect Christmas.

“It’s great to see that ultimately, happiness at Christmas comes down to quite simple things, such as enjoying time off work to spend with friends and family.”

Key ‘happiness factors’ include:

  • Number of calories consumed on Christmas Day (any more than 7,000 calories and you’ll be too stuffed to enjoy yourself)
  • Amount of time off work (just one day off boosts happiness by 70%, with three weeks being the optimum amount)
  • Centimetres of snow (15cm is ideal)
  • Family arguments (more than five and happiness levels plummet)
  • Number of hours spent trawling the shops for gifts (any more than 10 hours and shopping-induced stress sees happiness decline rapidly)
  • Miles driven to see friends and family (0 miles is ideal, with 500 miles generating a 40% reduction in happiness levels)
  • The number of gifts you receive has an impact on happiness (6 gifts gets you to optimum happiness levels), but….
  • ….most crucially, how many gifts you give (even giving just one present makes a huge difference to happiness levels, increasing Christmas enjoyment by 50%).

Chris Green, the mathematician who compiled the formula for Oxfam, adds:

“We conducted research into some of the key factors that people associate with Christmas and calculated optimum scores for each factor.”

What’s your score? For any like-minded boffins out there who want to work out the formula for themselves, this is what your scores mean:

< 50% Roll on January!
50 – 60% Frosty the snowman
61 – 70% Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
71 – 80% You’ll be rockin’ around the Christmas tree
> 80% You wish it could be Christmas every day

“The good news is that most factors that impact on Christmas happiness are well within our control. Also, despite a lot of people thinking that Christmas is overly materialistic these days, as the formula shows, these types of things aren’t that significant.

“Most people will score between 50 – 100%, any less than 50% and it’s a case of ‘roll on January’!”

Rick Lay adds: “With the act of giving gifts topping the happiness factors, we hope that it will make people realise that Christmas is a time they can make a real difference to the happiness of others. A gift from the Oxfam Unwrapped range will not only make friends and family smile more, it will change the lives of people living in poverty all over the world.  Surely that’s got to mean a happier Christmas all around.”

Oh, Big Ceri got ‘da Yuletide Blues…And he got it Baaaaad {Ceri’s Column}

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Bah Humbug

Yeah, to this day I have no idea what the hell that means. Sounds cool though…plus it’s a pretty apt opener. Predictable but…bollocks I’m deconstructing my work before I’ve even started. Right, onwards….

I am an adult. I know, shit isn’t it? I didn’t think I was one. I know now, I am. Why? Fucking Christmas. I never thought I would EVER take the lord (‘s days) name in vain. Just did though.

When one starts regarding jolly old Xmas as the season of seemingly pointless spending, you’re an adult. When tinsel starts looking cheap and flammable instead of pretty and magical, you’re an adult. When shopping centre Santas seem like paedophiles, you’re an adult…an awfully presumptuous and cynical adult, but still….

 ‘Tis the ball-aching-wallet-emptying-overdraft-raping season to be grumpy. Food costs too much. Gifts cost too much. Christmas crackers? Cardboard and toys made by Cambodian orphans, (I’m sure they tried their best) – Waaaay to pricey.

So many rituals we adhere to for the year’s final month just perplexes me. Why are gifts put under an Alpine/Scandinavian/East Anglian evergreen tree? Why do we tell kids a corporate figure invented by a popular soft drink brand (*Cough* Coca-Cola *Splutter*…that doesn’t work in writing…) visits them at night depositing these often numerous gifts? Why do these stupid fucking kids believe us? Why do we hang large socks in a frankly greed-frenzied plea for even MORE gifts? Why do we hang shit on the tree? Why do we hang plastic, or if you’re middle class like me, glass orbs from the tree? Why does the reindeer, an animal that is quite obviously inferior to most mammals you can eat, play any part at all? I like jaguars; where the hell are the big cats at Xmas? Why must Santa have an army of supernatural beings at his (probably huge) house/sweatshop, slaving away all year round making upwards of 20 gifts per child for every (Northern Hemisphere based) child in the world? Kids these days want stuff you can buy at Argos, why do these elves bother? Why is he called St. Nicholas? He isn’t St. Nicholas. That was some Turkish Christian who died before William the conqueror was born…uh….I think….Yeah, feel free to correct me on that one.

I remember that I used to really adore Christmas for the first 10 or so years of my life. Then it became OK…I mean, I still got a tonne of free stuff. Now, it’s hell.

 When I was a child I left out sherry and mince pies for “Siôn Corn” (Welsh for Santa Claus…it means “John Horn”…no idea why). I also left carrots on our worryingly accessible roof for the flying reindeer. Every morning, before even caring that I’d just hit the toy-jackpot, I’d check to see if my red coat wearing idol had eaten and enjoyed my offering. He always had. One Xmas, as a personal, “Mum and Dad can be oh so funny sometimes”, semi-child-hating prank, my dad ate the offering, (Yes, Santa doesn’t exist) and left a note. It read, in Welsh of course:

“Hello Kids,

Thank you for the Tesco mince pies and the glass of sherry. But, for future reference, I like scones and 7Up more. I still left you prezzies, but next year can you try and get it right.

Merry Xmas,

Santa”

I wept. A lot. The bike I opened 25 minutes later did help assuage my weeping, but my one seemingly gigantic cock up in trying to appease the only “real” supernatural being in the world haunted me…until I worked out he wasn’t real 2 months later.

Yes, I was a cynical little bugger at the age of 7 too.

But how I worked out he was fictitious is a good story. It isn’t a funny story – just an important one. A story every child should be told at the age of 7. My painful discovery would soon become a time honoured rite of passage if every child had the event described below forced upon them. I’d be a pioneer…in dream shattering…actually, just forget I said that. Ugh

Any-fecking-way, I was watched an episode of The Simpsons, (the only TV show I’ve loved and continue to be entertained by since my early childhood). Bart had tried to catch Santa, or something. I don’t really recall the plot that well, but that’s the gist. Yeah so it turns out that Santa was actually Homer or…some other character just dressed up as old St. Nic. The utter soul-crushing devastation washed over me and drowned my childish dreams. It happened to be that I was young enough to understand that he couldn’t possibly be real. I mean, I had a relatively advanced grasp of logic for a pre-teen, (I have been raised in a family of both real and cod philosophers sprinkled with a healthy dash of teachers, dentists and I’m sure there’s a lawyer or two…God, I’m so middle-class). But it also seems I wasn’t old enough for this fact not to hurt. I’d had an inkling he can’t have been real – I used to think, “He goes to every home in one night?”, “How does he only get most and not all the gifts on my list if he’s so awesome?” and, most logically of all, “Why did the standard and number of my presents sharply increase when my dad got promoted?” But it was the knowing he didn’t exist that nearly killed me.

Now if this event became the norm, kids could get saved from this ultimate trauma.

Is this how Dr. King felt when delivering the “I have a dream” speech?

Jeez, I overstep the mark faaaaar too often. Right, eggnog latte time.

As far as possible, boycott the nasty 35 {Carl Packman}

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Imagine this: every day a big kid at your school takes the money your parent/carer gives you for a measly meal of chicken burger and chips and a can of cherry pop. You’re left asking your mate for a bite on their corned beef sandwich and a couple of crisps.

When you go home you’re asked how school was, to which you reply, in your nonchalant way, fine! The next question, intrusively, is: “…and how was your lunch?” Your only option, in order to save face, and those long dreaded conversations which end in the questioner calling the school, embarrassing, is to lie and say it was fine – even though you had none, and even if you had it would’ve been crap as your school employs a woman with 6 cats to make what might colloquially be called the food.

Imagine the next day that person who steals your food money says they have food for you, but you have to do errands for them. You ask what kind of errands. Their response is to get you to clean their shoes, and the shoes of all their friends, while someone who used to do your job watches you to make sure you do it right. After you’ve done that, they give you a small amount of food – an amount so small that it would take that person only 0.25 of a person’s food money, out of the 20 or 30 they steal from, to afford the food.

Imagine then the wage packet of your parent/carer halved because some people, in the city, started to fuck around, making money by giving someone else’s money to people who were earning 10 times less a year. Your parent/carer decided to continue giving you the same lunch money (on the naïve thought it went towards a decent cause – which was taken by the bully anyway – but the quality of your clothing diminished, your dinner became smaller and of worse quality, you had to move out of your flat near the trees to a flat near no trees, and your lasagne dish turned into Welsh rarebit with peperoni and pasta).

All the time, the bully at school supports your “austerity”, after all, they still get their labour (ie your lunch money) but you get less, and are, thus, less inclined to seek alternatives to the existence of opening your arse to the shaft of a bastard!

Well, believe me, this is what is happening with the 35 bosses of the “big companies” who think it would be a mistake for the chancellor to “water down” his budget, reducing half a million jobs in the public sector and possibly doing the same amount, perhaps more, to the private sector, in order to level national debt – something which has been a reality for-flipping-ever, and is nowhere near as rocky as was Canada, who in the nineties were 101% in debt of their gross domestic product (so, Ozzy Osborne can stop using them as an example).

Yup, we’re being shafted by the cuts, all of us, no matter what sector you are in; the chancellor is screwing you over. Oh, unless you are a loan shark – you’re making a killing!! And the bosses of 35 companies don’t mind, because they still buy your labour under value, still make tremendous amounts of cash, and you continue to live in your prison.

Hey, I don’t know about you, but I might take the only power I have this Christmas – how I love Christmas – and take my money elsewhere. Yup. I will not buy anything from those 35 companies mentioned here. Because if the government wants to screw us over, I want nice people to at least lend me their hearts. If they can’t do that, then fuck them.