FOR THE BAMBINOS: TOP BAMBOO TOYS

Hape’s latest collection of kids toys claims that by the time these toys makes it into your hands, the bamboo used to make it has already grown back. *Adds to basket*

Check out our three favourites from the range below:

Flexistix Multi Tower Kit, £25.74 from Amazon

Use the silicone connectors to link the bamboo sticks together one by one to create an entirely new shapes. Hape’s Flexistix kits push the boundaries of STEM learning in a more interpretive and original way.

4Y+

Pallina Ocean Rescue, £28.29 from Amazon

Help free the sea creatures by pulling out the bamboo sticks but without releasing the fish. Pallina is a great challenge for the little ones, to implement the use of a delicate touch and a thoughtful strategy.

3Y+

Skinny Legs Toss, £21.99 from Amazon

Target and toss these silly spiders into a triumphant tangle. Perfect for both indoor and outdoor play Hape’s Skinny Legs Toss is designed for 1 – 4 players at a time. The concept? Each player picks a colour, then gathers their three spiders.

3Y+

A PUBLISHER’S YEAR: MAY – CRIME, CONTRACTS, ASSISTANCE

May saw Caoimhe and I head off to represent Sapere Books at our first ever CrimeFest in Bristol. Two of our lovely authors were speaking on panels; newly-appointed Chair of the Crime Writers’ Association, Linda Stratmann, and co-founder of Crime Cymru, Alis Hawkins. The Friday evening saw the announcement of the longlist for the first ever Sapere Books Historical Dagger Award. I can’t wait to get stuck into them all! You can see the longlists for all of the CWA Daggers here: https://thecwa.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/CWA-Dagger-2019-Longlists-3.pdf

May saw the release of eight of our books: four books in Cora Harrison’s Victorian London Mystery series; Linda Stratmann’s latest mystery, THE GHOST OF HOLLOW HOUSE; the first in John Matthew’s historical thrillers, LETTERS FROM A MURDERER; the third Inspector Lintott mystery by Jean Stubbs, THE GOLDEN CRUCIBLE; and the penultimate cosy crime novel from Elizabeth Lemarchand, WHO GOES HOME?

We also signed two new authors to our family. We’ve contracted Sean Gibbons for a three-book deal of a series of crime books set in Galway City. We also signed a four-book detail with Natalie Kleinmann for her Regency romance novels.

And we can finally reveal our new Editorial Assistant! Natalie Linh Bolderston will be joining us from June 10th, and we can’t wait! We have lots of books in various stages of production, so she won’t be short of work – but we’ll try not to scare her off! Hopefully I can persuade her to check in with next month’s blogpost to let you know how she’s getting on!

 

Amy Durant

Follow Natalie on Twitter @NatBolderston

I was Abused & Called a Bitch For Travelling in London With my Children

traveling in london while pregnant, traveling in london with pram, traveling in London with baby, with child, London, tube, step free access, babyonboardbadgetravelinginpregnantwhenpregnant
Traveling in London is not fun for anyone. With children it is even harder. I have previously written about the hell off traveling with children in London but today things got a whole lot worse. On the way back from an important appointment I got on a bus. There was a wheelchair user (who should always be given priority, and I always do) and then space for the pram. There was an older woman sitting there and I asked her to swing her legs round. I was worried I would get her toes.

She ignored me so I asked again. After the third or fourth time she looked at me, pursed her lips and shook her head. At this point a person on the bus told me this woman had just fallen on the bus. Okay, I said. I did not know that. I began to get off but the wheelchair user kindly moved further back so I could fit my pram in easily.

What happened next was truly shocking.  One woman had got up and was trying to help. Which is fine. But there was an older man who kept telling me to get off the bus. As well as older woman. The both started abusing me saying I should not be on the bus and that in their day they walked everywhere. The man said I should get off and run behind the bus and get some exercise. The women (who was separate from the man) was saying the same thing. I told them I had a right to use public transport and they had no idea how hard it was traveling in London with a pram. They continued to shout and abuse me. The woman who was on her feet and initially tried to help got very domineering when the bus moved off. I had to reach out and stop my four-year-old from falling over. She told me ‘look after my son’ and ‘go sit down’. While doing this she actually grabbed me and tried to push me in the direction of the seat.

When I told her I could look after own son she got offended and told me she was just trying to help. I told her she was a good person and thanked her as I did not want to escalate the situation. I told her I did not need anymore help.The wheelchair user needed to get off and I moved the pram and apologised to him and his carer for the uncomfortable experience, They were really lovely.

The man kept aggressively calling me a bitch. The older women said in her day they folded the pram up. All well and good but my 1-year-old was in the pram. Did she want me to juggle the children all the way? The man continued to abuse me, telling me to walk, calling me a bitch over and over. I told him to stop calling me a bitch or I would call the Transport Police and report him. The third woman who initially had tried to be helpful kept telling ME to be quiet even though I begged the two other people to stop talking and let it go. The third woman ended up getting off. They continued to abuse me and call me a bitch until my son started to cry. Only then did they stop. My son told me he was sad. I comforted him and told him everything was okay.

This is not okay. I was bullied and abused by three people in front of my children. I had a hellish journey getting there and only had a short time before I could give my son a quick lunch and then get him to nursery on time on the way back. We can do better than this London. We are better people. I wished the people abusing me love and light in their lives because I refuse to contribute to the pain and suffering in this world. I apologised to the woman who had fallen. I want love in the world, no hate. We can do better. We can be better. Our children are watching us.

THE TRUTH ABOUT BULLYING – ALEXANDER WALLIS

Jane Cable: Last week I received an email from an author I used to know when I lived in Chichester. I remembered him as a warm and principled man, a youth worker who’d written a fantasy book with a moral message. He’d contacted me to let me know he’d written a novel about bullying, aimed at teenagers and children. Not my normal read, but I clicked the link to I H8 Bullies anyway. Then I clicked on ‘look inside’. I read two pages and I was compelled, yes, compelled, to buy it.

It’s written from the point of view of a teenage lad in rich yet accessible language. The voice rings true. Alex’s blurb says it’s written for kids who don’t like books, and at only 66 pages short I can believe it. I also think it should be compulsory reading. Which is why I asked Alex to write this article for Frost.

 

The truth about bullying is that it can rarely be stopped.

The act of undermining others is a survival strategy – however maladaptive – which feeds vampiric ego at the target’s cost. Its excesses are applauded by those who don’t want to be next in the firing line and whose silence (or laughter) serve to timidly collude. Organisations enable rather than contain its flourishing, hierarchical lines supporting those who narcissistically abuse their power.

Nowhere can bullying be better studied than in a school, where adolescence stirs thicker the drama and thinner the consequences. A fully-stocked armoury is available to the teenager who bullies, from opportunity to physically aggress (within the relatively less punitive micro-society of the school discipline system), to ample places to regularly do it and the chance to capture and further torment on social media.

School anti-bullying programmes lean towards ‘awareness raising’, as if this phenomena is not already deeply understood. Since Goliath took up against David, humans have recognised that superior size, privilege or opportunity presents the risk of some throwing their weight around more than they should.

Interviewing students helped me to better understand the experience from the target’s view. Bullying somehow forces an intense self-examination, our own inner critic immediately jumping ship to add to the gang of detractors. Targeted students were not just conscious of the way they looked, but made to think deliberately of how they walked or talked. Thrown into a deep self-critique which often stemmed from an already sensitive and self-conscious life position.

When I began writing I H8 Bullies, my thoughts were initially on my own school experience, decades earlier. Old school bullying more often took the form of a thump to the ear, a pounding by some bigger boys (which we had sometimes provoked) and, at worst, the wave of a penknife.

Bullying feels more enduring and emotionally damaging now. Social media provides means to shame a person that is only limited by the imagination and which can endure long beyond the school bell. It can follow a person from place to place, preserving images better forgotten.

Sometimes the only factor under a target’s control is how they themselves react (or don’t). The quiet dignity of preserving your own values, even if you are still discovering for yourself what you think and feel. Bullying can rarely be stopped but it can be survived. It is about winning the battle within, and that is what the story of I H8 Bullies is all about.

Alexander Wallis is a youth worker for Sussex Against Bullying and the author of I H8 Bullies.

 

 

I am a Freelance Working Mother and This is What it is Like

working mother, working, parent, freelance, parenting, writer, writing, Catherine BalavageHello there from the trenches of working motherhood. I am a freelance writer and editor with two children under three. Today I feel faintly refreshed after having a few hours sleep last night. I get asked a lot what it is like being a freelance writing mother so I want to take you through my week. I will also update you as time goes on. Welcome to my world.

Last week my son was ill and not in nursery. He goes to nursery part-time. Three hours five days a week. Thankfully it is a nursery in a state school so is free. Unlike his previous nursery which cost over £1600 a term. Anyway, back to the point. So my son was ill, my daughter had a little cold and the freelance Gods thought this would be a good time for me to get a lot of work. I find as a freelancer that I get a lot of work all at once, or barely any. I make more money at the beginning of the year than I do the end. So my son was ill, I had no childcare and the baby was not sleeping at night. Even more than usual. Now, she doesn’t sleep anyway. She is sixteen months old and has slept though the night once. So I am one tired mama. And as usual, everything was happening at once.

I got a lot of work, hundreds of emails to go through, this mag to run and a million other things to do. It is full on and stressful. I would not want it any other way but I would quite like a spa day. To top it off my husband went off to Scotland for two days on a work trip. I swear, I do not know how single mothers do it. Both children were up all night and I ended up shaking from head to toe in my bed from the exhaustion. I get people telling me to just take it easy when it comes to my work, or to quit. It infuriates me. No one tells me to not be up all night with the baby, or to not do domestic crap, but doing something for myself and continuing to work on my career? Yeah, let’s give up the thing that keeps me sane.

In December I passed a writing course I was doing. It was intense and stressful doing it while looking after two children but I now have the certificate. The sense of pride and accomplishment always makes it worthwhile. I love working. There are many benefits to work other than money. There is the social aspect, the accomplishment, the contribution to society and the world as a whole. Work is important so I will carry on. Even when it means keeping one eye on the children while working on my computer.

I wrote my first novel by putting my son in the pram and walking until he fell asleep. I would then write two thousand words. Every day. No excuses. It worked and that is the thing about being a freelance working mother. You find what works and then you do it. It leaves you with valuable skills. I would not give it up for anything. I hope you find some of the upcoming posts helpful. Feel free to comment and you can email me at frostmagazine at gmail.com

 

SISTER SCRIBES: CASS GRAFTON ON WHY IT’S GOOD TO TALK

Recently, I was on a writing retreat – one that lived up to its name, being only accessible by boat at high tide (or after a hike through the woods from the nearest village). Hosted by Kath Morgan and Jane Moss of The Writing Retreat, the theme was simply ‘Time to Write’, which we had in abundance.

There were only 6 of us, and we soon developed our favourite spots for contemplation and scribing: at the wooden table by the creek, in the large window seat in the sitting room or even on the pontoon jutting out into the river.

I wrote in my room during the day, either in my own window seat with its fabulous water views or at the desk I’d tugged into place between the window and the extremely large bed (known as Robert Plant’s bed – long story, but there’s also a recording studio under the main house)!

Despite the obvious benefits of a retreat – that longed-for chance to focus on nothing but writing, allowing your mind to wander, your characters to fully take hold of you and the story in a way they often can’t when you’re surrounded by the minutiae of daily life – I was able to indulge in something else: time to talk, not only with fellow writers (usually over the yummy lunches and dinners) but also during one-to-one sessions with Kath or Jane.

These sessions brought answers to dilemmas I’d spent months battling with: what’s my hook; how do I finish this book that’s been almost done for months; what do I write next? Talking it through, being heard, was all it took for solutions to come, often prompted by the tutors’ insights. I left every one-to-one on a high, inspired and raring to get back to the writing.

This hasn’t been my only chance to talk face-to-face with other writers, of course. Aside from get-togethers with my fellow Sister Scribes, I’ve been co-writing with Ada Bright (for her guest post on being an author, see link below) for years, and despite the thousands of miles and 9-hour time difference separating us, we talk when writing 3 or 4 times a week. We discuss plot, why a character is behaving in such a way, battle out the things we’re struggling with, and we laugh. There’s a lot of laughter!

Do you begin to see the benefit of the talking? Writing can be such a solitary profession. Things go round and round in your head, we hit stumbling blocks, trip over our own words, lose faith, regain it, sometimes question whether we love what we’re doing, whether we should even continue.

Living in Switzerland, as I do, can also be isolating – I can’t meet up with my Sister Scribes as often as I’d like – so imagine my delight when I connected with 3 other British writers who regularly meet up for ‘writerly lunches’! They all pen fabulous psychological suspense novels, with Louise Mangos (@LouiseMangos) published by HQ Digital, Alison Baillie (@alisonbailliex) by Bloodhound Books and Linda Huber (@LindaHuber19), who has a wide portfolio, by Bloodhound Books and their imprint, Bombshell Books. She also writes light romance novels under the name of Melinda Huber.

Aside from lunch and laughter, we share our thoughts and feelings on the sort of things writers value talking about: practical experiences, both in writing and publishing, our ups and downs, our current challenges and our plans for ‘what next’. Oh yes, and there’s the odd glass of Prosecco too!

So write and enjoy it. Embrace it, but if you get the chance, talk to other writers, preferably face to face. You won’t regret it!

 

Find out more about my retreat venue at https://thewritingretreat.co.uk.

 

 

Parenting is Not a Spectator Sport

Dear readers: rant alert.

Sitting in a cafe I am trying to relax but I cannot. There is a group of older women staring and talking about me and my two young children. Occasionally they point or make a gesture. I am fuming. Who the hell do they think they are? A few weeks later the same thing happens. And then again, and again. You see, there are people who think that a women (or even a man, I am sure) taking care of her children, or, God Forbid, relaxing while they play with a toy or colour in, is a spectator sport. Some kind of zoo animals to watch and make comments about. If it has been an isolated incident it would have been fine. Just a table full of rude women who think they can loudly talk about us and stare. The entertainment of the afternoon. Do not get me wrong. People are not always being insulting. They are mentioning how cute the children are, talking about what they are doing. Asking questions or talking about their own experiences. But that does not make it okay. We are taught at a young age that staring is rude, because it is. We are taught at a young age that talking about people is rude. As is pointing at people. So why do people think they have carte blanch when it comes to little children and their parents?

I remember being on holiday once when the two women at the next table made nasty comments all through our meal that our baby son should be in bed. It was 7pm and the first day of our holiday. When they had finished their food they came over and cooed over my infant son. Making nice comments and saying he was gorgeous. This after bitching for hours and ruining our meal. Once in the Waitrose Cafe I had two women turn their chairs around to stare at us. I was enjoying myself and my children were behaving. A rare moment of peace. I gave them an evil look, downed my drink and left. Full of rage. Being a parent is hard. Any downtime that is taken from you feels like a theft.

We seem to live in a world where it is becoming harder for people to mind their own business. The truth is: I am sick of being nice to these people. I have been so British about it and just ignored it. Occasionally I have given a look at the very rude people. The ones who do not get the message. Being the bigger person is emotionally and physically draining. So I think that the next people who want to stare at my family and/or make comments will be told where to go. Only when people get called out on their behaviour do they think about what they are doing. Hell, they may even change and become more polite. It is worth a chance.

Has this ever happened to you?

How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results Esther Wojcicki

Being a parent is complicated – but the trick to succeed is simpler than you think.

It would be an understatement to say that parenting is hard. It is, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done. It is also the most wonderful and rewarding. But that is another story. I was interested when How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results by Esther Wojcicki arrived at Frost HQ. I do not tend to read parenting books. This one comes with some good credentials. Esther Wojcicki- known as Woj- has three wildly successful daughters: YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, 23andMe Co-Founder and CEO Anne Wojcicki and Fulbright Scholar and professor of Paediatrics at UCSF Janet Wojcicki. So far so impressive. Woj is a teacher and has taught many children to reach their full potential. She is certainly well-connected and a lot of what she says is spot on. Woj says that we tend to parent the way we were parented. Making the same mistakes as our parents is damaging to our children. We need to learn how to break the cycles of negativity and bad parenting. How To Raise Successful People is a brilliant book. It should be on the bookshelf of every parent. That does not mean I agree with it all. Woj thinks it is easy to put children to sleep. It is not, and if she disagrees she can come and take care of my daughter for a couple of nights. She also says people should stay married. Even forgiving infidelity. I think staying in a bad marriage is more harmful to children than getting divorced. We have come a long way from women having to stay in bad marriages because they have no rights and no freedom. That said, I did find so much excellent stuff in this book that I do not mind the occasional disagreement. Such is life, after all.

There are no Nobel Prizes for parenting or education, but if there were, Esther Wojcicki would be the bookies’ favourite. Known as the Godmother of Silicon Valley – or simply Woj – Esther’s three daughters have all gone on to huge success in their professional fields and, more importantly, their personal lives. What’s her secret?

As we face an epidemic of parental and childhood anxiety, Woj has the advice every parent wants to hear: climb out of that helicopter and relax.

Her tried and tested TRICK system will help you:

· Let your child discover their own passions
· Move on from past parenting mistakes
· Build rock-solid foundations for a lifelong relationship
· Be brave enough to give your child freedom
· Work with your children, not against them
· Set healthy relationships with technology

Your children are the future. If you change your parenting, you can change the world.

How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results by Esther Wojcicki is available here.