Nail’d Review by Junior Smart

Posted on by

A jack of all trades but a master of none?

Racing games have come a long way haven’t they? I mean, does anyone out there remember Pole Position? The classic of its time, where all you needed to do was come first and avoid other cars on the road. I remember Super Hang On where the scenery changed for the first time.  I even remember Out Run which was the first game to change the flat landscape into an environment of hills, valleys and introduce multiple racing routes into the genre  – and where the sit down cabinet would try and give some kind of feeling of inertia to the whole sentiment of racing. Heck, you could even pick your favourite track off the radio and drive to it. Then there was Lotus Esprit Challenge which encouraged the actual need for braking and changing lanes and on completion of the game you could send off for a licence style certificate.

All of that changed. In no time at all we had Ridge Racer, Road Rash, Destruction Derby, the grand daddy of racing – Gran Turismo – and a whole host of other racing games which changed forever the nature of the genre. Unless you were driving round in the largest rims, customising your ride, maxing out your turbo, driving to the most bangin’ tracks, having the most spectacular crashes or catching the most amount of air in the biggest leaps – even if you were in a tank – you weren’t nothing but Pee-wee Herman in the racing stakes.

Nail’d hails from the ‘more you have is the more you need’ variety of extreme racing. The sort of experience where you can never get enough of a dangerous thing, and the type of game play which is akin to a funfair ride where you scream if you want to go faster and the little kid next to you either cries for mummy or throws up.

In Nail’d you get to race either an ATV or a motorbike and travel all over the world competing in extreme racing events. It takes great joy in providing hills, leaps, jumps, an insane rollercoaster type track and, oh yeah – obstacles – and throws these at you as fast as your retinas can possibly take it. In the background, unhinged verbaholic rock music is barely audible above the crackly and poorly sampled sound of your engine while you hit the boost button as much as you can and do all you can to stay on your vehicle long enough to come first. From the start you learn to forget about the common definition of a jump – this game provides some Evel Knievel thousand-foot leaps over chasms that will literally leave your heart in your mouth.

On the surface of it, this all sounds fun, and to start with Nail’d is exactly that – a thrilling, vivid experience. In truth, I have to commend software developers Techland for cramming in so many jaw-dropping leaps and incredible speed into this game. The action is incredibly fast, and the track design is ambitious, and at times excellent. Racing through valleys and leaping onto dams is impressively executed, utterly thrilling and disorientating, and like an amusement park ride of your wildest hallucination.

The biggest problem with this game though is that after a short time, cracks start to show in its presentation and in the game mechanics. It tries to be too much of everything without ever allowing itself to be committed to any real type of game play. As a result, it tragically falls flat and lacks any motivating factors to even play more than a couple of stages let alone a full tournament.

Most gamers know that motion blur – while being an effective way to emphasise speed – can also hide a multitude of sins. Once you see past it, the first thing you notice is the graphics. They are poorly rendered, dressed up with motion blur – ‘mutton dressed as lamb’.  Just like the colleague you regret snogging at that Christmas party. At a distance and with so much going on, it actually looked quite good, but up close and personal – and in this case after a crash – you can see it instantly for what it is.

Another area where this game comes short is with the physics engine. For some reason, gravity doesn’t exist here. Not only can you change direction in mid-air but you can also extend your jump by a few miles. I reckon that in the world of Nail’d you could literally take a jump in England and glide over to France and not break a sweat, just by pulling back on the analogue stick. The first couple of times you feel like it is actually a nice touch, but if I am honest, it isn’t actually the hardest thing to do. When every corner brings a new jump, repetitiveness sets in remarkably quickly and that’s when you feel that there isn’t enough of a challenge and you are just going through the motions.

Although there is a ‘boost’ function typical of racing games of this genre, it was appalling to find that it isn’t actually linked to anything. Unlike Pure for example you have no abilities to do stunts in mid-air, there is no drift, no oncoming traffic, no punch or kick buttons to knock other riders off their vehicles, so there are no redeemable ways to reward your racing skills other than when you land correctly after a jump. Boost increments are painfully limited to driving or flying through gates at key positions on the tracks. I kept thinking: “Is this all?’ Are you serious?” It is mind-boggling just how much of a wasted opportunity this is, and the simple inclusion of something, anything extra would have boosted this game’s playability no end.

My final gripe comes with the collision detection. It leaves so much to be desired. For example, it is possible to keep driving after a head-on collision with a train, only to clip the top of a branch on the next landing. It is incidents like these that make coming first more a matter of luck than of actual skill, and in some places, to my horror, I found it was more than adequate to race around the track without ever taking my finger off the gas at all – relegating the brake to no more than reverse. I ended up wondering whether the game was play tested at all.

So my final verdict? As if you really need to hear this. Well, Nail’d is one of those games that sounds great in principle, but falls on its face because it tries to do too much while failing to get the basics right. At its heart, there is a fun arcade racer in there somewhere, waiting to be let out, but it is a delusion of grandeur. Against the likes of other well known titles such as Pure, Motorstorm, and Split Second, this doesn’t even stand a chance of coming third across the line. There is so much more that they could have done with this. It is such a real shame that at the end of the day, it deserves to be left on the grid.

3/10

Londoners Life 9 by Phil Ryan

Posted on by

Of all the London phenomenon I’ve chronicled recently, there is one that has been gathering pace. It’s called Business Change.

I’m suddenly more aware of the breathtaking and surprising speed that familiar haunts, restaurants and bars seem to be going out of business, closing down and then getting replaced by a new business. I only note it down now after a recent few trips into town that left me sad at the disappearance of quite a few of my regular haunts and drop in places. Cafes, book shops, restaurants and music equipment places all suddenly biting the dust. You head to an old familiar café hoping to get egg and chips and suddenly it’s a trendy new Japanese hairdressers decorated in black and silver with bright cartoon characters on the windows offering wakami face tugging and Nintendo hair stress with kodo roots and sea turtle mud. All very disconcerting.

I know it’s a recession year unfolding, but it’s very London in the way that there seems to have suddenly been a speedy pick up in the opening and closing rates of so many once great places. It’s as if the capital is sensing blood in the water. The old and sick are culled (sadly often by the chain groups) and the whole place seems to be getting blander and less original by comparison.

We all know that London constantly changes – just look at the sprawling developments in regeneration areas. Even bits of the new Stratford are starting to look quite pleasant. Actually, scratch that. It’s still a dump, but now with an inappropriate huge shopping centre and bits of Olympic nonsense being stuck around the place.But it’s funny how a couple of converted factories or hospitals reborn as apartments seems to immediately change the tone in an area – even if it’s only very surface to start with. Hackney and Battersea has enclaves and pockets of said new conversions but are both still struggling. So-called luxury developments can only achieve so much. The muggers just seem better read – now quoting Monica Ali and The Secret as they rob your wallet.

But the onward rush of change and the trend to new designer living has a lot to answer for. One of my prime examples is Paddington Basin. Now changed – from an admittedly smelly canal side dump – but changed to a monolithic mixed office and apartment, antiseptic, dystopian, concrete wasteland -replete with confusing enormous steel statues and various bits of naff looking public ‘heritage’ art.

As you enter, you find great grey pebble-dashed wind tunnels threading through various soulless glass and steel monoliths that abound the place, all giving it the charming air of a car park designed by Philip Starck, The Mad Hatter and Mr Angry. And the entire place is complete with faux cobbles and café canal side living (ie chain outlets sticking tables outside). Sadly, the whole place has slightly less atmosphere than Jupiter. You can see baffled canal side walkers leave little leafy and cute Little Venice and then turn up in what appears to be an architect’s giant scale model of dullness and concrete. “It’s all neat and clean and functional,” they tell me. But then so are abattoirs,  which it sort of gives the half air of being modelled on – only without the welcome death at the end after spending any time there. But that’s London. Changeville.

And if you needed more proof of changes, look no further than the past few year’s restaurant trends. Scores of Thai, Vietnamese, Mongol Grills and Pan Asian buffet places appearing and disappearing within a two-year period. Now it’s the Lebanese wave I’m noticing. They’re popping up everywhere. Nice, but generally overpriced. And often with the hookah pipes outside, gently wafting aromatic smoke down the street. And snapping at their heels, those very cool-looking Japanese places. All Zen and noodles with raw everything (just saving on the gas bill I’m guessing. Personally, I like my food cooked).

But don’t panic. There are still places that show no sign of seemingly changing one iota. South Kensington and its environs is a case in point. I had the dubious pleasure of being taken to a basement restaurant down that way last week. The prices? Unfeasibly high. The place? Packed to the rafters with an orderly line patiently waiting by the till area when we arrived. The noise levels? Slightly above that of runway one at Heathrow. And the food? Italian pizzas mainly – but disguised as high fashion cuisine. And then that bizarre welcome. Table for six? Yes, of course, but you’ll have to leave at 10.00 sharp (it was 8.00). The people with me seemed unsurprised. Didn’t they mind?, I asked. “No,” they chorused. “It’s a London thing.”

The White Stripes: Already Forgotten?

Posted on by

The White Stripes have officially announced their break-up.

In a statement on their website, the Detroit due explained that “the reason is not due to artistic differences or lack of wanting to continue, nor any health issues as Meg and Jack are fine and in good health. It is for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way.” The statement goes on to mention that Third Man Records, the record label set up by Jack White, would continue to release unheard studio and live recordings through their Vault Subscription record club.

The band consisted of Jack White (vocals , guitar and keyboards) and Meg White (drums) who were previously married, although they divorced amicably in 2000 after less than four years of marriage. Two people, big noise. The whole sound was certainly greater than the sum of their parts with just guitars, drums, voice and keyboards.

They released their eponymous debut album in 1999 on anti-music industry record label, Sympathy for the Record Industry, although it wasn’t until their third album, White Blood Cells, released in 2001, that the duo enjoyed their first significant success, selling over 500,000 copies of the record. The band’s next album, Elephant, came along in 2003 and was their first on major label, V2. It was also their first UK chart-topping album and eventually went double platinum.

Since Elephant, the band have released two more albums, Get Behind Me Satan in 2005 and Icky Thump in 2007, toured the world over and been blessed with a whole host of awards, accolades, fans and critical acclaim. In 2007, however, the band cancelled all remaining touring commitments after it was revealed Meg was suffering from acute anxiety problems. Although not hinted at in their statement, it is thought that these problems are behind the reason they called it a day.

Having not released a record since 2007, the splitting up of the White Stripes will not come as a great shock to many. However, Jack White has certainly kept himself busy since that time. He continues to run his Third Man record label, produces records by the label’s bands and still finds time to write, record and tour with both The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather. It is unclear what Meg White’s next moves will be, having kept a very low profile since the tours were cancelled.

In a postscript to their fans, and clearly with one eye on their legacy, the band explain: “The White Stripes do not belong to Meg and Jack anymore. The White Stripes belong to you now and you can do with it whatever you want. The beauty of art and music is that it can last forever if people want it to. Thank you for sharing this experience. Your involvement will never be lost on us and we are truly grateful.”

Dead Space 2: Game Reviews by Owun Birkett & Junior Smart

Posted on by

*WARNING! These reviews contains spoilers!*

by Owun Birkett

Imagine yourself waking up wearing a straitjacket, with no recollection on what’s going on or where you are. A staff member is helping you, until a giant alien organism comes out of nowhere and punctures his forehead. Parts of his body begin to stretch and tear, unknown limbs take form and you kick him aside. You’re still bound to the straitjacket and your only option is to run! That’s roughly how Dead Space 2 begins. No build-ups – just straight into the horror action.

The Dead Space series is one of those rare survival horror games that both genuinely excites and scares you. Granted, some horror buffs may not be freaked out by the odd jump scares here and there, but it’s all about tension and atmosphere, rather than just showing you as much blood and gore as possible, and developers Visceral Games do it really well.

You play as Isaac Clarke (taken from well-known sci-fi authors Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke), an engineer who survived the previous game. Set three years later, Isaac is on a populated city called The Sprawl on Titan, one of Saturn’s moons, Ever since interracting with an ancient relic called the Marker, Isaac has become mentally ill, and starts having hallucinations of his dead girlfriend. He has no recollection of his memories since the first game and before the events that are taking place. It’s as you progress that you start to find out what exactly happened.

The new addition to this game (other than new armour and weapons) is Isaac has a voice. No longer the mute character who just made grunt noises (sort of like Gordon Freeman from Half-Life, though he oddly didn’t make any sound when he was getting shot!), it’s actually nice to hear he’s got a voice, and to hear his thoughts and dealings with the other characters.

When you eventually find a Store – found in certain parts of the game to buy ammo, health, weapons (technically tools, though I don’t see how a flamethrower would be seen as a tool) and buying new suits – anyone who who played the previous Dead Space adventure starts to get into familiar territory. For those who haven’t played the first game (I suggest you do so, in order to follow the story), a simple tutorial will tell you on how all the gameplay mechanics work.

Your Heads-Up Display (HUD) isn’t conventionally featured on the corners of your TV screen, but on Isaac’s armour. The lights down your spine is your health. When you receive damage, the bars disappear and change colour from green, to yellow, with red being critical. The controls are fluid and not too hard to remember once you get the hang of it.

When battling the Necromorphs, you cannot simply just shoot them, but have to dismember them. Again, this will be all familiar to Dead Space veterans. But this time,  instead of the awkward aim and leap Zero-G sections, you are given free movement with additional boosters on your suit.

The environments will look the same at times, but they certainly have an organic feel. You have a tour through a shopping centre, a day-care centre and even little humorous moments (I say that relatively lightly) where you see sets of balloons at a hospital saying “Get Well Soon!” Though there are disturbing moments aplenty when you venture into The Sprawl. You hear people screaming for their life in hotel rooms, a child yelling in agony inside a tumble dryer and even an abandoned infant crying his or her eyes out among the chaos.

The sound design is brilliant, hearing noises at every corner and even giving you false alarm scares when something like a shower hose goes off. The music should be recognised too, as it definitely brings tension when fighting the Necromorphs – both key elements in making a satisfying horror experience.

The Necromorphs themselves are actually quite terrifying and grotesque in design. They’re human corpses, but transformed and reanimated after an alien organism infects them. If you think the children and infants were spared, think again! There are creatures called the Swarm, where pale-looking children come out in packs and try to slash you to death. I can see this will spark controversy from the International Nanny Association (INA), as they did with Visceral Game’s previous game, Dante’s Inferno.

Dead Space 2 is a bit routine throughout the single-player campaign – meet new characters, fight your way through, fix some circuits and so on and so forth. The characters are either surprisingly tough or completely insane. Not much variation and the majority of them are just meat waiting to be torn up.

I can’t say much about the multiplayer other than what you may have heard or read elsewhere. Unfortunately, I can’t recommend the multiplayer as it really does feel tacked on and gets old really quickly after a game or two. Left 4 Dead is still the best multiplayer game of the similar type of matches.

Owun’s Verdict: If you’re a fan of science fiction and survival horror games, don’t hesitate to purchase this game. The single-player campaign has a strong enough story and enough re-playability to obtain all those Achievements/Trophies for all you hunters out there. For PlayStation 3 Move owners, I strongly suggest you play Dead Space: Extraction. A hugely fun addition to the Dead Space series.

Dead Space 2 is a visceral roller-coaster ride.

********

by Junior Smart

You wake up to see Isaac Clarke running towards you – do you:
A: Congratulate him – Dead Space revived the somewhat saggy and stale survival horror game genre?
B: Welcome him into Unitology religion?
C: Duck, because a NECROMORPH IS PROBABLY BEHIND YOU!

If Isaac Clarke were to be real then it is possible, just possible, that he would be one of the most unluckiest people in history. Perhaps almost unlucky as say, having a brother named Chris Redfield and an older sister named Ripley.

After the horrific events of Dead Space, our protagonist Clarke wakes up three years later to a worse situation than he left things. Roused from his sleep on a space station known as the ‘Sprawl’ with a new outfit; a firmly fitting straitjacket, Isaac finds that the place is besieged by the reanimated corpses known as Necromorphs – truly hideous creatures of every child’s worst nightmare.

That isn’t all. There is evidence that the ‘Marker’,  or at least ‘a Marker’ is what is behind the outbreak. Was it destroyed, was it rebuilt or was their another one? On top of that he is in real inner turmoil. I mean, he is seriously carrying ‘extra baggage’ at losing his girlfriend and memories of the utter horrors that he faced during the events of the first game are messing with his melon.

If I were him I would probably bury my face in my hands and cry. Either that or kill myself. Lucky for us he doesn’t, and that entire psychological trauma creates a compelling rollercoaster ride that inexplicably draws you in from the very first scene where he is literally fighting for his life.

Dead Space 2 offers just a few improvements over the original, but then as the saying goes ‘if it isn’t broke – don’t try and fix it.’

Here in the ‘let’s do it by the numbers’ territory synonymous with sequels, what we have is ‘bigger means better’. That equates to larger arenas to fight for your life in, more types of Necromorphs to take on and new variants of weapons to use.

In addition to the main single player campaign, you have an online multiplayer mode where the players are divided into Isaac-type workers and Necromorphs – an idea I am not entirely sure works as well as the developers hoped for. Also bundled in with the Limted and Collectors edition is the great on-rails shooter Dead Space Extraction which was previously a Wii exclusive.

If the devil is in the detail, then the first thing that grabs you about Dead Space 2 from the get-go is the details. The immaculate presentation of the game is very nicely done with a video you can watch from the first menu which narrates the story so far for new players and those who have not played the first game.

The in-game graphics are also very polished. The playing area this time is The Sprawl – a vast urban space station complete with hospitals, shopping centres, sleeping quarters, schools, and other locations all of which are vividly realised and help create that lingering kind of foreboding atmosphere that is different from the first game. Recorded announcements echo around you in the shopping centre and you can hear the screams of a Necromorph’s victim down dark corridors as you ready your weapon and prepare yourself to take on the forthcoming horror.

However, horrific action is what this game is all about and being more linear in its approach doesn’t take anything away from Dead Space 2 at all. True to his engineer profession, Isaac’s weapons are more modified tools, rather than out-and-out weapons. Still, taking on Necromorphs and blasting the limbs off the hideous creatures has never been better. All of the weapons from Dead Space return in this game, including the plasma cutter and line gun. Yep, there’s that ‘if it isn’t broke – don’t try and fix it’ mantra again.

Controversially, the program developers, Visceral Games, decided to give Isaac a voice in this sequel, a move which has divided gamers all over the world. While I sat firmly on the fence on this issue previously, I am pleased that they did this as it gives the central character a bit more to play with in the course of the proceedings.

To be honest, he’s a bit bland as a character, but it’s interesting how they play out his mental psyche. No matter what is going on for him, whatever problem he faces during the course of the game -repairing a lift, talking to an official – he never lets slip or tells anyone what is going on for him mentally. In that sense, he kind of reminds me of the television character ‘Dexter’, because as a player you know the real deal with what is happening for him and it is almost like a secret you share, which is a rare factor for games.

A new ‘big is better’ feature in Dead Space 2 is the dramatic ability in certain rooms to fire out a window. Due to being in space, this causes the area to decompress and suck everything – tables, chairs, Necromorphs and yes, you – out into the vacuum that is space. The only way to save yourself is to quickly shoot a sensor that brings a metallic emergency door down over the source of the decompression. It is risky, it is thrilling and yes , it is nothing but big bucks Hollywood, but I would be lying if I said I could grow tired of it as it brings some welcome relief to what is otherwise a dark and serious story.

Other set-pieces involve trains, a couple of a nice zero-G environments which allow for some nifty 360 degree movement, ‘Resident Evil’ style pursuits by massive Necromorphs and some real shocking flashback sequences that make you wonder whether poor Issac is going to break.

For the most part though, the rest is standard fare. Fix this elevator, repair a few drills, speak to this person, get to this or that location, save someone who has information or can guide you…. you get the picture. Unfortunately, none of this is terribly exciting and harks back to days of Resident Evil where you had to get a key and then go to a room to use it. There are the occasional simple puzzles you encounter and a basic hacking mini-game which you must frequently complete but that is it, for better or for worse,

Unfortunately, the dreaded camera angle issue from first game, although improved, remains to rear its ugly head and create frustration to games players who buy this title. Quite often I found that when you’re backed up against a wall and a Necromorph gets too close to you, the camera often won’t show you your assailant. This destroys your targeting unless you move around to get a decent angle. Meanwhile, you’re under attack and trust me, those Necromorphs won’t have pity. This means by the time you line up to deal out some ‘poetic justice’, your health will be halved. I found this happened quite a lot and shouldn’t be in a sequel of such quality.

The online multiplayer offers some replay value and some extension to the game’s 12+ hours to complete. Divided into humans and Necromorphs with up to four players on each side, the multiplayer gives the human team a series of objectives they need to complete within a time limit. As I said before, this doesn’t work as well as I guess the programmers hoped for because it seems like a last minute addition.

Although you can start new games and carry over all your purchased or upgraded equipment, it seems that they thought not much more could be done than in the main game. As a result, the objectives seem like crude takeaways of the main game, e.g. interacting with consoles, carrying items, destroying objects and well, it is boring. What’s more, team-based online play has been done before many times for example in ‘Aliens’ and with more or less every type of third and first person shooting game out there. It is a shame that with such a good storyline in the main game they didn’t come up with more than this for the multiplayer.

Dead Space Extraction? Well, this is the same great, story-driven on-rails shooter which was the Wii exclusive of 2009. It covers the story before the events of Dead Space and during the same time as the animated film Dead Space: Downfall.

Having played the original on the Wii, I was pleased that sufficent graphical enhancements were made. Looking smoother than ever in high-definition, Extraction’s story is played from the first person’s perspective and brings some strong characters into the storyline along with the Church of Unitology – the people who have an unhealthy interest in those trouble-causing Markers.

The action is as intense and white knuckle ride as you’d expect from a Dead Space game, and even two players can play at once. In the early stages, it plays with your psyche much the same way as it does with Isaac. The Wii version’s excellent controls have been transferred seamlessly to the PlayStation Move, using it to aim at enemies and twisting it to activate the weapon’s secondary firing mode. That’s the way this game should be played, though if you are a controller down and you want a friend along for the ride they can fumble through it with a DualShock, too.

Junior’s verdict: Well, Dead Space 2 doesn’t bring with it too many original features and does nothing to change the genre. It does have a few nagging faults, but it’s an outstanding game nonetheless, packed with enough details and terrifying stomach-churning scenarios to keep your heart racing. Having Dead Space Extraction flung into the mix for free makes this title great value for money. Let’s get this right – this game is gory, this game is in your face, this game is worth playing. However, after completion, I doubt you will stick around for too much longer in the multiplayer.

9/10

The Finest Rump In The UK

Posted on by

Nope. It’s not time for The Rear of the Year awards yet. Fiona Bruce and Ricky Whittle can still rest easy in their denim.

Instead, a new online delivery concept has been launched by acclaimed chef Richard Turner and butcher James George. Their new venture, The East London Steak Co., offers the finest naturally-reared beef from selected rare breeds to customers within the M25 area.

Turner and George source the highest quality beef from British farms. Every animal is hand-picked and selected using a strict criteria, which ensures all cattle are grass fed, have been traditionally farmed and reared in an environment which meets the highest standards of welfare.

The East London Steak Co. only use five main rare breeds of beef, including Dexter, Galloway, Longhorn, Shorthorn. The beef is dry-aged on the bone for a minimum of 28 days – or longer on request – which matures the beef, creating a greater concentration and strength of both flavour and taste.

The company prides itself on giving a bespoke service to its customer by cutting each steak to their exact specifications, which is then hand-wrapped, boxed and delivered within 24-hours. Every order has an accompanying provenance card, outlining the breed, the exact farm location and the butcher who cut it.

Turner is a restaurateur and chef who has worked with renowned chefs including Michel Roux Jnr, Pierre Koffman and Marco Pierre White, while George has worked as a butcher for over 10 years. Their professional background brings a unique partnership to the business, as they both understand first-hand the necessary components needed to enhance the quality and taste of the beef.

Turner says: “There is a huge demand for high-end beef. Consumers are extremely quality aware and like to know where their meat is from and how it is reared, and one thing’s for sure, great beef only comes from cattle that have been well bred and well looked after.”

George added: “We’re dedicated to fulfilling our customer’s requirements by offering much more than a delivery service. We feel it’s our duty to champion quality meat, not only because of our respect for the British farming industry, but also because the consumer wants it.”

The East London Steak Co. offers a range of selection boxes that include a choice of seasonal based cuts. A growing variety of wine, beers and condiments – including dripping and preserved bone marrow – are also available, making the ideal accompaniment for their unrivalled steaks.

Make Your Valentine Count With Smilers

Posted on by

Ah, l’amour.

Just before Spring comes boinging out of Winter’s clutches and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love – or more likely, peeling their beloved’s lingerie off with their teeth – comes Valentine’s Day.

I won’t bore you with the history, but it came about after a Christian martyr called Valentine forgot to give his beau a felled ox or some such, so put together a hastily hand-drawn etching and grabbed a bunch of daisies pulled from the nearest horse trough stop – or something like that. Since then, countless love-lorn people have sent anonymous cards in the hope of winning said crush, only to find them go off with someone else who had the foresight to sneakily gain credit for someone else’s hard-earned efforts, cash and card.

Anyway, if you want to enhance your chances of getting your girl – or boy – to disrobe sensually for you, prove just how much you care about your loved ones by attaching your very own Smilers stamp to your Valentine’s card, courtesy of our very own Cupids at the Royal Mail.

Smilers allow you to personalise your post by combining one of your own photos with a Royal Mail stamp – guaranteed to make your card or love letter stand out from the rest and thus stop anyone else claiming ownership!

Smilers can be ordered online, where after uploading a chosen image, users can pick from a range of different stamp designs and background themes, with the option to create either round or rectangle shaped Smilers, and designs available to suit all occasions. Royal Mail also recently launched their first Smilers app which lets people instantly create their own personalised postage by downloading photos taken on their iPhone.

The Smilers app is free through the App Store and, as well as grabbing your lovers attention on Feb 14th, is also an ideal way for people to share celebrations such as birthdays, weddings and new arrivals.

Smilers are available in sheets of either 10 or 20, and prices start at just £7.80 for a sheet of 10 1st Class stamps. With secure payment through PayPal, customers will receive the sheets within five working days.

The Healthy Way To Drizzle On Pancake Day

Posted on by

It may just be me, but Shrove Tuesday feels later this year.

We have to wait until the 8th of March before people try and remember how many eggs to add to how much flour and whether it was right to include a knob of butter in the mix. Hint: It’s not – unless I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

But don’t forget the real lemon juice, or that great plastic Jif lemon which used to make great water pistols when empty. Can you still get those? (Sigh, nostalgia). And syrup – lots of.

And now there is a healthy alternative for those looking to watch their waistline. Raymond Blanc swears by it, rather than at it, like I do when I miss the pan when flipping, but that’s another story. Suffice to say the cat’s fur was never the same.

Sweet Freedom is an award winning, natural, healthier sugar substitute. It’s won Great Taste Gold stars (Foodie Oscars) so tastes delicious – well, obviously. But because it’s made 100% from fruit, it has 25% fewer calories than sugar, and, as an added bonus, it’s sweeter, so you can use 25% less too.  On a more serious note, it has a low GL (Glycaemic Load), which means it won’t cause blood sugar highs and lows, so it’s suitable for all the family –  including diabetics.

It’s completely natural and made from just apples, grapes and carob with no colourings, flavourings or preservatives added.  It’s a good option for anyone looking for a healthier, great tasting, lower calorie alternative to sugar and other sweet syrups.

Sweet Freedom can be found in 300ml drip-free squeezy bottles from Tesco, Waitrose (both Free From section), Ocado, Booths, Holland & Barrett and health food stores for the  RRP of £2.99. There’s no word yet as to whether they match the Jif lemons for portable and potent post-use water pistol fire power. Time will tell.

www.sweetfreedom.co.uk

Denise Van Outen spoils daughter with Zilli. {Celebrity}

Posted on by

Most celebs are spoilt by lavish dinners created by the world’s top chefs – and now their babies are getting the same treatment.

Denise Van Outen’s nine-month-old baby, Betsy, has been enjoying organic meals prepared by celeb chef Aldo Zilli. However, celeb baby or not, eating can still be a tricky business when you’re still a little shy of your first year. Denise has commented that at most meal times, much of the food ends up all over her.

Still, more power to Aldo for being the first celebrity chef to create a range of organic baby food. And if you fancy introducing your little cherub to good food and celebrity circles until they’re old enough to go to The Ivy, Baby Zilli launched this week and is available at all good supermarkets.