Meet Alexa, a fellow writer and Jane Austen fan who’s become a trusted friend and needs no better introduction than that.
For most of my life, I did not have many female friends. As the only child of a woman who prized sincerity above all else, many of the unwritten rules of girlhood were lost on me, and I often said things that offended others, never really understanding why what I perceived as honesty provoked such backlash. I was occasionally bullied, and the lesson I took away from those experiences was not to trust women professing friendship. Apart from a few, lifelong attachments, my friends were always mostly men. As I grew older and got married, this became more isolating. Inevitably, I would find myself at parties grouped together with a bunch of other women, nervously tottering through conversations, struggling to get through the evening without trespassing on those invisible boundaries established so many years ago on the playground.
I was often depressed in my 20s, but I had no idea the lack of a female support group contributed to the problem. I thought my career in sales and marketing was the driving issue. I wanted more purpose and independence, and in a leap of faith I am still amazed my husband supported, I quit my job to write. This was a whim; I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. It was other women writers who showed me my path through their guidance, support, and acceptance.
I truly was shocked by the kindness of the woman writers I met. I didn’t expect it, and it took me a long to time to trust it. I hid for years behind my pen name, using it as an excuse to keep all my authorly interactions online, dreading having to explain to someone I had now known for years that no, Alexa is not my real name, though my middle name is Alexandra, while I simply appropriated Adams from a few notable figures in US history. Perhaps by not acknowledging my real identity earlier in my relationships with these women, I had once again trod on one of those unspoken laws of female friendship?
Cass Grafton, the Sister Scribe who invited me to contribute these thoughts, was one of the first fellow writers whom I revealed my true identity to, and she took it in such stride that it taught me how paranoid I had been behaving. In the few years since, so many of my online relationships have been solidified into real-world friendships. My network of women who I can depend on, confide in, and trust has exploded, and I have a hard time recalling how I ever got by without them. These friendships are the most unexpected gift that writing has bestowed on me, and for them I am immeasurably grateful.
Biographical Info:
A devoted reader of Jane Austen since her childhood, Alexa Adams is the author of several Austenesque novels and short stories including Being Mrs. Bennet, Darcy in Wonderland, The Madness of Mr. Darcy, and Tales of Less Pride and Prejudice. Alexa is an American residing in Switzerland with her husband, daughter, and son. She blogs about Austen and Austenesque literature at alexaadams.blogspot.com, is a contributing member of AustenAuthors.net, and a founding member of the Jane Austen Society of Switzerland.
