WALKING MEN’ SCULPTURES ARRIVE AT BLENHEIM PALACE

British sculptor Laurence Edwards’ striking bronze figures, Walking Men (2018-2022), have taken up residence in the grounds of Blenheim Palace, where they will be on display until 10th June.

​Laurence Edwards said of his creation: “These five 8ft ancient bronze figures pass through an iconic English view, on their search for a place, where have they come from, where are they going, what are they thinking?”

The 8ft tall figures are seen to be anti-heroic and seem to have come from the earth itself. Branches, leaves and clods of clay are woven through them, making it unclear where human and ground begin and end. 

​The raw materials from which they have been cast, have been pushed, pulled and gouged into shape ‘with a visceral energy that makes the artist’s act of creation palpable’. 

​Heather Carter, Managing Director, Blenheim Palace, commented: ”We are delighted to welcome Laurence Edwards’ five Walking Men to Blenheim Palace.  

​Images courtsey of Pete Seaward

“These remarkable pieces set against the backdrop of the Palace allow our visitors to experience art at its most incredible within an awe-inspiring setting. This installation is with us until 10th June 2024, and we encourage people to visit us quickly to enjoy and appreciate

Blenheim Palace is home to the Dukes of Marlborough since 1705, Blenheim Palace was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1987. Set in over 2,000 acres of ‘Capability’ Brown landscaped parkland and designed by Vanbrugh in the Baroque style, it was financed by Queen Anne, on behalf of a grateful nation, following the first Duke of Marlborough’s triumph over the French in the War of the Spanish Succession.

​Today it houses one of the most important and extensive collections in Europe, which includes portraits, furniture, sculpture and tapestries. Blenheim Palace is also the birthplace of one of Britain’s most famous leaders, Sir Winston Churchill, and it was his father who described the vista on entering the Estate from the village of Woodstock as the ‘finest view in England’.

Flaxseed for PMS Relief: 5 Ways To Say Goodbye to Monthly Discomfort

The idea of Flaxseed for PMS relief discussed by Registered Women’s Health Nutritional therapist & Nutrigenomics Practitioner, Cara Shaw. Here Cara delves into how we unravel the potential of flaxseed in alleviating discomfort of PMS. 
For many women, the latter half of their monthly menstrual cycle can bring along a host of unwelcome symptoms collectively known as premenstrual syndrome (PMS).Unveiling the Power of Flaxseed: A Natural Approach to Alleviating Monthly Discomfort of PMSPMS is a common disorder that affects almost 50% of women of reproductive age worldwide. It’s characterised by at least one physical, emotional, or behavioural symptom, that manifests in the latter half of the menstrual cycle (the luteal phase) and resolves shortly after the start of menstruation. Symptoms vary widely but include abdominal cramping, acne, breast tenderness, bloating, headaches, mood variability, depression, and anxiety. (1) PMS has many possible underlying causes and contributing factors as to the severity of the symptoms – it will completely depend on the individual. However, it is evident that poor gastrointestinal health, unmanaged stress levels, excessive alcohol, and a diet high in refined sugars can all contribute to PMS severity. Whilst conventional approaches to PMS may offer medication, the natural approach involves making conscious dietary and lifestyle changes.
There is certainly no one-size-fits-all solution, but incorporating flaxseed into your diet may provide a natural and effective way to manage common PMS symptoms. In this blog, we’ll explore the various benefits of flaxseed for PMS, the components that make it a potential solution, its role in hormonal balance, and delicious ways to integrate it into your diet.
Benefits of Flaxseed for PMS Relief.

Source of Essential Fatty Acids
Flaxseed are an excellent source of the essential fatty acid, alpha-linolenic acid (ALA). This is a type of omega-3 fatty acid that our bodies simply cannot produce on their own, and therefore, it becomes essential to include in a diet.
Essential fatty acids play a crucial role in cellular health and reducing inflammation in the body. By improving cellular function, protecting cells from oxidative stress (aka damage), and inhibiting inflammatory mediators; they can help to modulate PMS symptoms, particularly those associated with discomfort and pain, such as abdominal cramping. (2)

Digestive & Microbiome support
Flaxseeds are an excellent source of soluble and insoluble fibre which can serve directly and indirectly to support PMS.
Insoluble and soluble fibre in flaxseed can directly support common digestive symptoms of PMS such as constipation and bloating, by adding bulk to stools and increasing bowel motility, thus relieving abdominal pressure.
Flaxseed can indirectly support PMS via the microbiome and its role in hormone detoxification and elimination. Oestrogen goes through a detoxification process in the liver where it becomes ready to be excreted. Once this happens, oestrogen enters the bowels. If gut bacteria are not optimal, enzymes can allow oestrogen to be re-absorbed into the circulation, playing havoc with the balance of sex hormones, and increasing the likelihood of PMS symptoms. Including flaxseed in the diet, can help to alleviate this problem, by re-establishing a healthy balance of bacteria within the gut microbiota, which in turn helps to support healthy oestrogen metabolism.

Positive impact on cravings and appetite
Flaxseed intake has been shown to improve carbohydrate metabolism and lower fasting glucose. During the latter half of a menstrual cycle, blood sugar levels naturally increase, so flaxseed intake can be a nice adjunct to help ease off some of side effects of blood sugar spikes e.g. increased cravings particularly for sweet foods. Additionally, the soluble fibre from the flaxseed helps to keep you fuller for longer, so can help to reduce increased appetite, commonly associated with the week before menstruation. (3)

Natural Hormone Modulator
Flaxseeds are the richest source of lignans, a type of phytoestrogen. Phytoestrogens are a class of plant compounds that have a structure similar to the hormone oestrogen. These plant compounds contain gentle plant oestrogens that may help to restore balance if oestrogen levels are higher relative to progesterone. By gently helping to modulate oestrogen levels in the body, flaxseed may help to restore hormonal imbalances that can contribute to PMS symptoms.

Mood regulation
Hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle can contribute to mood swings, irritability, and other emotional symptoms. Omega-3 fatty acids have been shown to help regulate hormones and neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, which can positively impact mood and emotional well-being during the menstrual cycle. Flaxseed consumption is a convenient way of getting in more omega-3 into your diet, especially if you don’t consume oily fish.
Flaxseed’s multifaceted nutritional profile makes it a great natural aid for helping to manage PMS symptoms. The combination of omega-3 fatty acids, fibre, lignans, and antioxidants creates a synergistic effect that addresses various aspects of PMS discomfort. Incorporating flaxseed into your diet offers a natural and holistic approach, targeting not only specific PMS symptoms but also overall well-being by supporting inflammation, gut health, and blood sugar balance.

Delicious and practical ways to incorporate flaxseed into your diet
Adding flaxseed into your diet doesn’t need to be complicated. Let’s dive into how you can practically use flaxseed in your everyday routine to support the menstrual cycle. Below are ideas that you can mix and match to suit your needs. Stick to the recommended amount of 2 tbsp per day (so pick one idea below per day) and start gradually if you’re new to high fibre foods.

Breakfast ideas
Flaxseed Smoothie Bowl: Start your day with a nutrient-packed smoothie bowl by blending your favourite fruits, Greek yogurt or kefir, and a generous sprinkle of Linwoods Milled Organic Flaxseed. This not only increases the nutrient profile of the dish, but it also adds lots of fibre to keep your blood sugar stable and your hormones happy.
Flaxseed-Infused Oats: Upgrade your morning oats by stirring in 1-2 tbsp of Linwoods Ground Flaxseed and topping with berries in season. In the luteal phase, one tends to crave more wholesome, carbohydrate-rich options and this one is a perfect option to stop you reaching for the chocolate bars mid-morning by keeping you fuller for longer.

Snack-o-clock
Flaxseed energy balls: Combine oats, medjool dates, nut butter, flaxseed, and almond milk in a high-speed blender, ready to roll into balls to keep in the freezer for a quick snack. This makes a fabulous wholefood snack that will give you the energy you need without the crash at the end.
Yoghurt combo: Add a tablespoon of flaxseed to your favourite yoghurt and serve chilled as an afternoon snack to prevent an energy slump. The protein and fats will help to give you a boost and a good dose of omega 3 to help your mood.


Main meals
Salad dressing: Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it… Flaxseed makes an excellent addition to a salad dressing. Just combine it with extra liquid to keep it thin enough to drizzle on your vegetables. Add them to lemon juice, olive oil, salt, Dijon mustard and a little honey to give your salad some pizzazz and add some diversity to your plate.

Flaxseed-Crusted Salmon: Boost your omega-3 intake by coating salmon fillets with a layer of pesto and a sprinkling of flaxseed, before baking them to perfection. This savoury dish not only adds a flavourful and crunchy twist to a meal, it’s also bursting with omega 3 to support your cycle.
It’s important to note that whilst flaxseed can help to support hormones, they cannot be used as a substitute for poor diet and lifestyle habits. Balancing your plate, eating diverse, colourful and wholefoods, moving your body, practising good sleep hygiene and managing stress levels are the key foundations in supporting hormonal health.

References
Tiranini, L. & Nappi, R.E. (2022). ‘Recent advances in understanding/management of premenstrual dysphoric disorder/premenstrual syndrome’, Faculty Reviews PMCID: PMC9066446 PMID: 35574174
Filho, E.A.R. Lima, J.C. Neto, J.S.P. Montarroyos, U. (2011). ‘Essential fatty acids for premenstrual syndrome and their effect on prolactin and total cholesterol levels: a randomized, double blind, placebo-controlled study’, Reproductive Health PMID: 21241460 PMCID: PMC3033240
Nowak, W. & Jeziorek, M. (2023). ‘The Role of Flaxseed in Improving Human Health’, Healthcare (Basel) PMID: 36766971 PMCID: PMC9914786

“It’s Poohin Time!” – Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 Review.

As The Sequel to The Most Derided Movie of 2023 Hits Cinemas, We Ask: Is it Sweet as Hunny or Just Plain Pooh? The Answer May Suprise You,…

I feel it’s important to give a bit of context to a film with such an infamous history. It’s easy to go into a sequel expecting trash because the first movie wasn’t that great. It’s an easy trap to fall into.

I didn’t want to do that. I went into Blood and Honey 2 knowing what it was a sequel two and, in explaining my eventual score, I think it’s important to bring you with me on that.

Director Rhys Frake-Waterfield and Producer Scott Jeffrey didn’t set out to make a a great movie with the first Blood and Honey in 2023. They’ve been very honest about what it was: a direct-to-DVD quickie that caught a zeitgeist and won a cinema release (and notoriety) that it was never designed to support.

Reviewers trashed it, Razzies were won and it seemed that the whole world was throwing poo at Pooh,… which, looking back at it, seems fair, if a little unfortunate for the guys behind the scenes.

But after making a cool £5 million in return (from a £20,000 budget and a 6 day shoot – one of the highest investment-to-return ratios in movie history), distributors ITN gave Rhys and Scott what they wanted for the sequel: time and money.

So if the First Blood and Honey was the movie they were forced to make, Blood and Honey 2 would be the movie they wanted to make. But the question remains: is it a good one?

Let’s talk about it.

A Mixed Bag,… But A Promising One.

Performances are much improved across the board. Scott himself pulls double duty, stepping into the shoes of Christopher Robin. It’s a gentle and immediately likeable performance which makes this Christopher someone to root for.

Mr. Robin is a muddle of personal scars, the most substantial being the kidnap of his younger brother when he was a child. Now faced with the barbed disbelief of most of the town, many of whom think him a murderer, this Chris comes out swinging in the final act and it’s testament to the script and performance that I felt like cheering him on.

The other human performance of particular note was Thea Evans as Bunny Robin – Chris’ younger sister: a sweet child with a habit of mutilating soft toys. Her interplay with Scott felt like the emotional core of the movie, and was beautifully played by both.

Which brings me to the first issue that I need to address.

Pooh confronts Bunny. We love Bunny and don’t want anything to happen to Bunny. Cut away – Bunny is missing! Oh no!

And then,… she’s just back at the end with a single simple line of explanation, unharmed.

Sadly, this is one of many perplexing edits and choices that let the movie down. Some – like Owl’s chase at the end – seem to be foisted by the demands of a set runtime. There are clearly entire sequences on a digital cutting room floor and that’s unfortunate because it’s so obvious.

It robs the movie of payoffs that the script sets up at the start. I might have sacrificed a few lesser kills in the Rave scene for proper resolution at the end. An end which just,… ends.

I could feel the Director’s Cut. I would have preferred it in the cinema release.

The infodump from Simon Callow’s entertainingly fruity Cavendish felt a little too long, too. The scene just about worked but there’s a rule of thumb in storytelling: whenever possible, show, don’t tell. We were told a lot. I would have preferred to discover the back story in a more organic way.

But, swinging back to the positives, there was a backstory! And a reasonably engaging one.

We discover why the Pooh Crew are out there in 100 Acre Wood, and why they were drawn to young master Robin in the first place. It’s solid, entertaining b-movie fare. It makes sense. It wraps things up. It answers questions I had.

It worked. Considering there was no story at all in the first one, that’s got to be a big tick in the “much improved” box.

Also in the “much improved” box: take a bow Pooh and Company.

The creatures themselves had a considerable upgrade, thanks to Harry Potter prosthetics team The Prosthetics Studio. Gone are the goofy, ungainly masks of the first: these new critters are entirely different beasts. Literally.

Not only do they look much, much better, they also have more personality. They speak this time round and the prosthetics allow them emote. Tigger is the insane Krueger-esque psychopath, Owl is the needling ringleader, Pooh is the vengeful unit and Piglet,… RIP Piglet. Poor piglet.

An essential demand of slasher films like this is that the audience enjoys the company of our killers and this time around,.. we kinda do. They’re still a bit hokey but this time it works. There’s even a take on Poohsticks which had the audience roaring with laughter.

We miss them when they’re not on screen.

There are a few things I’d have preferred were not on screen, though.

While the budget was a considerable increase, this was still a relatively low budget affair and there are a few things it’s best that you don’t attempt without an expensive effects studio at your back. Owl flying is one of them. Tigger’s tail is, on occasion, another.

Some of the gore, too, looked like what it was: digital. It didn’t rip me entirely out of the moment, as digital effects were pretty sparce, but I did wince.

Which brings us to the thing that gorehounds reading this really want to know: what are the kills like?

One of the clearest things on display in Pooh 2 is that the film-makers understand their audience. They’re making a horror film for the Terrifier crowd and, to this end, they don’t disappoint.

The kills are insane. Often creative (bear trap!), frequently gory and practically realised, never less than entertaining. This is gorehound fodder that makes audiences shriek, laugh and groan – often within seconds. The audience I watched it with frequently punched the air.

If I had one criticism, some of the kills felt a bit mean spirited – Chris’ Mum, especially. It just felt,… unjustly awful.

We love kills. We love to be entertained by them in these kinds of films,… but tone matters. Who you kill, when and why,… get it right and it’s a hoot. Step a bit far and it’s a bitter pill.

Largely, however, I felt that Frake-Waterfield stays mostly in the “highly entertaining” realm and that’s what’s going to keep audiences lapping up the blood and, indeed, honey.

Highly Entertaining.

And that’s where I find my reviewer’s heart going when I think about this movie: “Highly Entertaining”.

Because it was.

Rhys, Scott and writer Matt Reeves understood the brief of a good horror movie: entertain me.

At no point in the movie did I feel bored. The characters were good, the creatures were good, the acting was good, the music was excellent (major props to the returning Andrew Scott Bell, who delivers a great score!) and the kills were FUN.

This was a crew that looked into the face of the status quo – the amorphous wall of critics and naysayers – after the drubbing their first film received,… And slowly rose a finger. A team who delivered a movie that is loud, brash, heartfelt, ridiculous, vicious, gory and, yes entertaining.

Is it perfect? No. Honestly, it’s a bit of a mess in many places, and there are times when it looks as cheap as it, ultimately, remains.

But I came out of it barely caring about the faults: for the first time in many years, I came out of a cinema having had FUN. Having felt a connection with the filmmakers rather than the demands of their focus groups.

I appreciate that – it was, in a very odd way, charming – and that’s just enough to paper over the cracks and give hope for the future of the upcoming Poohniverse.

Final Score:

6.5/10

Tips on Finding Affordable Flights for Your Next International Holiday

The travel landscape has changed immensely over the past few years. New advancements have disrupted the industry, changing international travel from a luxury only few could afford to a more accessible experience for more people, Accommodation apps like Airbnb can connect travellers to low-cost lodging as an alternative to traditional hotels or motels, allowing people to spend more money on experiences and activities, food and drink, or shopping. Expensive airfares were also a struggle for many travellers and continue to be for some, but now there are several ways people can score good deals on their international flights to avoid breaking the bank.

Don’t let flight costs ruin your travel plans; here are a few tips on finding affordable flights for your next international holiday:

Compare low cost flights

If you don’t have a destination in mind yet, it can help you stay flexible so you can compare international flights for various locations and see where you can score low prices. You can find cheap flights using comparison websites or tools that will show you the different prices. This way, you can avoid paying more and pick the most affordable option. easyJet offers a low-fare finder tool where you can get an overview of flight prices to the destination of your choice or other places so you can find the cheapest dates and times available. Compare prices for locations like Greece, Italy, Spain, and more, which can not only guide you to lower costs but also a potentially new adventure. If you’re more of a spontaneous traveller, you can also find last-minute deals that can help you find the most affordable option, even if you’re booking close to your flight date. 

Avoid the rush

Booking a flight time during the airport’s busiest hours or during peak and holiday seasons can increase flight prices due to the demand, and you’ll be competing with large crowds of fellow holidaymakers. Rather than going with the rush, opt for flight times when demand is lower, such as early morning flights or red-eye flights—flights that depart at night and arrive in the morning. Airports charge lower fees for their take-off spots at these times, which is why they’re cheaper. Avoid buying flights during peak travel seasons as well, as demand also causes more expensive airfares. Booking during the off-season can be cheaper, but you can also fly during the shoulder season, which is between the peak and off-season. You’ll see fewer tourists compared to busier, in-demand dates. Shoulder seasons vary depending on your destination, so doing some research can help you determine when to fly for cheaper prices. 

Evade hidden fees

Even if you book an affordable international flight, hidden fees and surcharges can add to your costs, which can be frustrating and affect your careful budgeting. Airlines can charge you for priority boarding, flight alterations, onboard wi-fi, and even blankets; knowing what to expect can help you plan and budget accordingly to avoid these fees. Baggage fees are some of the more common ways you can get charged extra; if your checked-in bag is overweight, you may be charged per extra kilogram, and the costs depend on the airline. You can avoid such costs by purchasing your extras fees in one go when you buy your ticket so you know what prices you expect to pay. You can also pack smarter by wearing additional layers of clothing, rolling and folding your clothes to maximise space, or packing light in your carry-on bag to avoid checking in your luggage if possible. It also helps to be extra careful about planning your flight so you can avoid changing seats or flight details, which also come at a price.

Finding the perfect flight takes time and a little strategic planning. By following these tips and being flexible, you’ll be well on your way to securing affordable flights and turning your international getaway dream into a reality!

Photo is free to use under unsplash licence by Ross Parmly (@rparmly)

Post written in collaboration with Holly Bates.

Change How You Eat, Accept Your Body & Transform Your Life – Bite Sized Peace a NEW BOOK by Clinical Psychologist Dr Romi Ran

Like everyone I have had a complicated with food in my life. I grew up with Bridget Jones and Jessica Simpson both being called fat. The toxic body culture of the 90s and 00s has a lot to answer for. I like to think this has all gone away, but it hasn’t. Women’s bodies are still judged and constantly up for discussion. Is it any wonder so many women, and men, have eating disorders or an unhealthy attitude to food?

Bite Sized Peace is a fantastic book by Clinical Psychologist Dr Romi Ran. Full of information, help and logic. Dr Ran has her own methods which are proven to help people love their bodies and develop a healthy attitude to food. There are many gems to find in this book, and while I have managed to love my body enough and finally have my weight in control, this book is an essential resource for anyone struggling with any food-related issue. Just brilliant.

Why this book matters 

  • A MUST-READ book for anyone finding themselves in a negative relationship with food and body image
  • Over 1 million Brits have an eating disorder, such as anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating. (NHS, 2021)
  • A study shows 30% of adolescents report that they restrict their eating or engage in binge eating. (Journal of Adolescent Health, 2021; International Journal of Eating Disorders, 2020)
  • Author Dr Romi Ran is a Clinical Psychologist and has worked with countless clients to help them obtain complete freedom from the constraints of disordered eating and body obsession
  • The way we see and eat food starts in the mind and is centred in self-worth – Dr Ran offers mindfulness eating techniques including helping people understand their hunger signals

In her brand new book Clinical Psychologist, Dr Romi Ran, shares techniques she has used and developed working with people challenged with food, eating and body image. Bite Sized Peace is a groundbreaking guide designed to help readers nurture a healthier relationship with their body and food and teaches how to then apply these transformative concepts to all aspects of your life.

Dr Ran has helped countless individuals to obtain complete freedom from the constraints of disordered eating and body obsession and her book is a culmination of her work helping clients challenge societal views and myths relating to diets, eating and weight. She supports clients to be their own expert and not rely on the advice (or rules) of others to nourish themselves, beginning with the acknowledgement that you are inherently worthy. Dr Ran’s methods include teaching people how to eat when they are hungry; choose foods that nourish their bodies; stop when they are full; and to eat mindfully. 

Bite Sized Peace – Change How You Eat, Accept Your Body, Transform Your Life by Dr Romi Ran is out now.

To find out more about Romi and her work and book visit: https://www.drromiran.com/

The Dream Of A Ridiculous Man at Marylebone Theatre, London reviewed by Paul Vates, Theatre and Film critic “…it is, dare I say it, beige.”’

Fyodor Dostoyevsky was a Russian novelist towards the end of the 19th-Century, famous for such works as Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov. Amongst his shorter stories is The Dream Of A Ridiculous Man, about an ordinary man who finally realises that nothing matters so decides to shoot himself. Beforehand, he falls asleep and has a dream which, upon waking, has changed his view of the world and life as a whole. In the story, he tells us of his vision for the future.

Billed as a ‘thought-provoking yet hilarious exploration of human nature’, sadly the play sets itself up for a fall. It stumbles through far too many genres and styles like a tipsy drinker weaving through tables and chairs whilst heading for the bar…

But there is much to like! It’s a one-man show, calmly performed by Greg Hicks. He is assisted by a wonderful armoury of lighting and sound effects, along with original music and graceful choreography.

Herein lies its weakness – the phrase ‘jack of all trades, master of none’ comes to mind. So much artistry is thrown in with so little coherence that it dilutes the message and dulls the sharpness of the point of the production, which must surely be the short story upon which it is based. It lacks the urgency which the man’s vision deserves. After all, he is trying to tell us something he believes to be important, to keep us listening, to persuade us… the whole feel is one of cosiness and safety – there’s no shock or peril, very little variation of dark and light… it is, dare I say it, beige.

It may gain some edge as the run continues. I really do hope so, because there is so much quality on show here.

Paul Vates.

Photography Mark Senior

Writer/Director Laurence Boswell

Designer Loren Elstein

Lighting Designer Ben ormerod

Sound Designer Gary Sefton

Movement Director Gary Sefton

Composer Harrison White

Running Time 75 minutes – no interval

Dates until Saturday 20th April 2024

Check with the theatre for show times

Venue Marylebone Theatre, 35 Park Road, London NW1 6XT

Box Office Tickets are £26.50 and available from:

www.marylebonetheatre.com/productions/the-dream-of-a-ridiculous-man

Instagram @marylebonetheatre

Twitter @MaryleboneTHLDN

Facebook @MaryleboneTheatre

Bad Blood Sarah Hornsley Review

The shock of it almost being 2025 is softened by the fact you will all get to read Bad Blood by Sarah Hornsley soon. It’s an incredibly thriller that grabs you by the throat. I love a legal thriller and Bad Blood is an outstanding one. A perfectly paced and twisty story that captures small towns perfectly after Justine Stone returns after her ex-boyfriend is accused of murder.

I never saw the ending coming and the story is complex and gripping, with brilliant characterisation. An addictive thriller which will leave you thinking about it long after you have finished reading. A triumph.

What would you do if your childhood sweetheart was accused of murder?

Justine Stone left her hometown in Essex eighteen years ago, and she hasn’t looked back since. Married to Noah, with a beautiful house and a high-flying career as a barrister, she rarely thinks about her ex-boyfriend, Jake. 

Until she’s given her first murder case, and sees his face staring up at her, charged with a horrific double murder. 

The Jake that Justine loved would never have hurt anyone. But as evidence begins to come to light, Justine has to face up to the fact that perhaps she never really knew Jake at all. And as the past begins to merge with the present, Justine’s life that she’s worked so hard to create begins to fall apart. 

You can run from your secrets. But they’ll always catch up with you.

Out 27 March 2025.

Margaret and Dick found something they didn’t expect on their walk

Margaret and Dick were walking Rosie and Polly along a country track on the way to the little stream.

‘Why,’ stamped Margaret, staring ahead. ‘Do people do that? Poo bag, please Dick. Now.’

‘Really, they should pick it up,’ said Dick, groping. ‘Oh no, I have used all mine.’

Margaret fumbled in her pockets, tissues out, dog treats out, old co-op receipt. old post office receipt now. 2nd class book of stamps out.’ ‘Why,’ Asked Dick, ‘don’t you empty your pockets, from time to time?’

‘Never mind that. I have found my stamps. This could be a good morning after all.’

‘And a poo bag?’

‘I have two more pockets,’ soothed Margaret, knowing that Dick has a special pocket for poo bags, a special pocket for tissues, an inside pocket for receipts, and a second inside pocket for phone. Margaret doesn’t know how she came to live with someone with such a tidy mind. Sometimes she hears Dick asking the flagpole how he came to live with someone who was so dreadfully, awfully untidy, and who empties her pockets sometimes, but then filled them up again, in no particular order.

Finally Margaret found her poo bag, tucked up her jumper sleeve beneath her waterproof coat. She realised she had put it there, instead of her pocket, which was why there were so very many tissues in every pocket.

She gave Dick Polly’s lead to hold, and approached the poo. It was rather a large one. She felt cross all over again. She turned back to Dick, and started to say, ‘Really, it is too bad.’

But Dick was pointing, wagging his forefinger at the poo. (Margaret is sorry to keep saying poo, but needs must). His mouth was working, but no words.

Margaret turned back to the poo. It seemed it was once more, women’s work. But … Lord … Arrrgh … The poo … was moving, yes it was. Just a bit, then it sort of fell on its side. It had a little hand – yes it did, and another. Then there was a sort of shiver (not not from Margaret and Dick, but they felt like shivering.)

‘I’m holding the dogs,’ Dick said. ‘You’d better check things are …’

‘Are what?’ said Margaret creeping forward, poo bag in her hand. But what good was a poo bag if there was a sort of hand. The pile was back as it had been.

Urghh. Ooooh. How. Whaaat?

Margaret reached it, she bent over, she really looked. Was it a frog? But … There was another. Yes, two frogs, but there was another, sort of lying over the heads of the two frogs, and then, when she tried to count the legs, there was another set of legs and arms, all with hands, these two were sort of wrapped round the head of the two frogs.

Margaret breathed in. She put her poo bag back in her pocket. ‘Frog stack,’ she said in a matter of fact voice, because she had read about it, and she liked to be a know it all. But f-o-u-r frogs.

‘What are they doing?’ Dick said.

Margaret didn’t like to even think what they were doing, but she expected it was naughty. It was spring. She told Dick what she thought.

Dick looked at Polly and Rosie. ‘Not in front of the little ones,’ he said, his mouth looking as though he had sucked a lemon. ‘This is not our business, it really truly is not.’ Best just leave these four to ‘it’.’

So Margaret and Dick did as ‘it’ resonated for quite some distance. They left them to ‘it’ too, on their return, and as they stepped over them, the frogs sort of shivered again. (sorry if this is too explicit)

‘Well, it is spring,’ Margaret said to Dick.

‘Stop talking,’ said Dick, and hurried on back to Margaret and Dick’s garden, and Margaret did not make the coffee for a little while, for Dick would need a few moments… Yes, you know don’t you … with the flagpole.