Tag Archives: Advice

MAKE THIS THE LAST MOTHER’S DAY THAT YOU ARE SINGLE

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Five tips for single parents looking to escape the parent trap

As a single parent you’re certainly not alone – in the UK there are more than 1.7million single parents. The majority would love to find someone new to support them and their children, but with childcare issues eating into time and energy resources, it can at times feel like it’s at the bottom of a never-ending to do list.

Single mum, TV actress and eHarmony.co.uk’s guest blogger, Donna Air voices the challenges she faces over finding a new partner when her child is naturally her number one priority:

“It’s simply too stressful a job when teamed with kids’ bath, dinner, homework, and bedtime stories into the hour allocation that most busy mums have for the multiple of tasks”.

But it needn’t be the hurdle it can at first seem. In Donna’s accounts of dating, she makes a point of dating when her child is at her ex partner’s house, or when she has some spare time to herself. For those with childcare and time constraints, dating online is the perfect way to ‘get back out there’ again and find someone new, and the best bit is that the initial, online stages of ‘dating’ can all be done when children are tucked up in bed. Make sure you research the top 10 dating sites to find the one that is right for you.

“Looking for someone who will love and respect you and your children can feel challenging but in reality it’s just about finding the person for you”, says Dr Gian Gonzaga, Senior Relationship Scientist at eHarmony.co.uk, the relationship success site. Dr Gonzaga continues, “in a recent poll of eHarmony.co.uk members, 85% said they were sensitive to a single parent’s position, so there’s no reason for not taking that first step.’ Here are five top tips from Fr. Gonzaga that every single and dating parent should follow:

1. Be honest from the beginning

It isn’t always easy to bring up the fact that you have children when considering going out with someone new. But your date deserves to know what to expect — perhaps you’ll only be available every other weekend or you can never be out past midnight due to your babysitter. Be upfront and you’ll avoid any surprises later on.

2. Only date someone who is sensitive to your situation

A potential partner who respects the fact that you’re a parent should understand and be sensitive to the responsibilities that you have to your children. Do they realize that even on a date you need to be accessible to your children? Does he or she understand that only you will know the right time to introduce them to your children? If the answer is no to any of these questions, they are probably not the right partner for you in the long-term.

3. Go slow

Unless you and your date are both certain you want to take the relationship in a more serious direction, don’t rush to introduce him or her to your kids. Having a new adult in their lives is a big deal. When you feel the time is right, keep the meeting low-key and brief, and do all you can to remove pressure from everyone. Your kids need as much time as you did to get to know someone new.

4. Be realistic

After introductions, be careful not to expect too much from your new relationship too soon. Someone who has never had kids will need plenty of time to develop their own relationship with your children. Equally if your partner has children or their own, it will take time for both sets of children to get used to being a part of a single family.

5. Practice being more than a parent

Yes, you are responsible for your children, and you must take that seriously. But being a parent is not solely all you are. You’re a single person looking for someone to share your life with. Get a babysitter, relax, and enjoy dating!

Dr Gonzaga concludes: “Don’t let being a parent stop you trying to find happiness. Just learn from your past relationship, have clear boundaries and be confident and you will find a true partner.”

Donna Air’s dating blog can be found at: http://moourl.com/donnadating.

Why are we entangled with the idea of a fairytale romance?

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eHarmony.co.uk’s relationship scientist Dr Gian Gonzaga says romance is a wonderful thing, but perhaps it’s time to forget fairytales and take destiny into our own hands.

Even the most cynical and ‘grown-up’ among us love a fairytale. Whether it’s Disney’s Tangled or Cinderella and her glass slipper, who hasn’t at some time dreamt of being whisked away on a white horse to a life of never-ending romance with an impossibly handsome prince or princess?

Dr Gian Gonzaga, world leading relationship scientist and Senior Research Director for eHarmony.co.uk believes a little imagination is healthy but finding the right partner also needs a dose of reality. He says: “Anyone who believes that finding or keeping a great relationship is a matter of luck or chance may be disappointed. Relationships can absolutely be filled with fairytale romance, but amazingly, a lot of people expect their Prince Charming to magically appear on their doorstep and rescue them. The reality is that taking a positive and active approach to finding love is the best way to find your own happy ending.”

Dr Gonzaga, author of new book ‘Dating the second time around, Finding love that lasts’, says people can fall into the trap of waiting for a new relationship to find them or believe that finding a compatible partner is outside of their control or ability. In his book, Dr Gonzaga touches on four tips that those of us who are looking for a fairytale romance should bear in mind.

Find your own version of the Handsome Prince

You may have a vision of the handsome prince or princess you want to meet, what they do for a living, where they live, and how old they are—but it’s time to put away the tired old checklist you’ve created over the years and approach finding a life-long partner with fresh eyes. Of course you have to feel chemistry with your partner, but perfection comes in all guises. It’s worth keeping in mind what’s going to make you happy not just now but in twenty years’ time. (Tip – it’s probably not a washboard stomach).

Control your own destiny

To find a relationship and make it work, you need to take control over the process by searching for the right type of partner, and acting to ensure the quality of this relationship. Lots of people expect Prince Charming to appear from nowhere, and they think that whether it works out or not will be down to fate or the cosmos or astrological compatibility rather than anything they might do or not do. Those who believe they can control whether a relationship works or not will ultimately be happier. Psychologists call this “locus of control.” Some people have an external locus of control, which means they don’t think they have the power to change things.

Others have an internal locus of control, which means that they believe they can change their situation with some effort. Those who have an internal locus of control more often try to make things better rather than passively accepting their fate, and that alone makes a big difference.

Don’t hurry love

We’ve all grown up on Hollywood’s romantic movies with speedy courtships and happy endings and it’s easy to think that real-life romance should happen quickly and easily.

As the old saying goes, only fools rush in. Too much too soon can scare a very suitable partner or cause problems in the longer term. Allow time for authentic feelings to develop before you say ‘I love you’, and consider that everyone has his or her own emotional clock.

Inject some romance into daily life

When you’re in a relationship with your own Prince Charming it’s important to keep the fires burning, even years down the line when romance can sometimes take a backseat. But how do you keep that exciting ‘butterflies’ feeling? The simple answer is by making time for your partner and making them feel special.

The Obama’s famously have their ‘date night’ but how about setting up a monthly ‘romantic surprise’ – put aside say £50 to take each other out for a romantic dinner or to a concert. And don’t forget to praise your partner’s achievements and compliment them as often as you can, in a genuine way. The couples that look out for each other stay happy together. You can have your ‘happy ever after’ but like Cinderella you’ll have to put some work in.

To read more about how to find realistic and lasting love read Dr Gian Gonzaga’s new book – Dating the second time around, Finding love that lasts. (Octopus, £6.99), available from all good bookshops.

Over half of women go Dutch on a first date, but men still want to pay

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Women will need to be financially prepared to pay their half as they break from first date tradition

New research from online bank first direct has found sharply differing financial attitudes to first dates between the sexes. While women have a progressive attitude to dating expecting to split the bill on a first date, men still like to play the hunter gatherer role and pick up the bill. With women breaking from tradition and expecting to pay at least some of the bill, they especially will have to be financially prepared for the cost of dating like never before.

Independent Women

The survey of 1,924 UK adults found that 58% of women expect to split the bill on a first date, double the proportion of men (29%). Additionally, 14% of women think it should be whoever suggested the date. Just a quarter of women said that they thought men should pay for a first date, while 3% said they should foot the bill, suggesting that women feel they shouldn’t be beholden to men, but that men should also pay their way.

Hunter Gatherer

Men on the other hand believe that chivalry isn’t dead, with 55% expecting to pay the full bill on a first date, and men spending an average of £65 on a first date compared to women who spend £50. Shouldering not just the financial burden but also the organisational responsibility, more than nine in ten males (94%) would organise the first date, compared with just 65% of women.

The average amount that people expect to pay on a first date is £56 and highlighting the financial considerations behind dating, 38% percent of people would use discount vouchers on a first date, a figure slightly higher for men (41%) than women (36%).

Richard Brown, Senior Savings Product Manager at first direct commented:

“As we approach the wedding season, the couple on everyone’s lips is Kate Middleton and Prince William. It would be fascinating to know if they split the bill or if William paid and pulled out a discount voucher on their first date. If he did, he is far from alone – dating can be an expensive business and if you do not have the disposable income of a future royal, it is important to make sure you have enough money saved to find The One.”

Lesson on Layering {Fashion}

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Ah, the Great British obsession with the weather. Sometimes it’s too hot. Sometimes it’s too cold. Most of the time it keeps us guessing. But when the weather can’t make its’ mind up, don’t let that stop you from being prepared for all climates.

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“What is the solution?”, I hear you ask. Layering. Let me show you how with these top 6 picks for this Autumn.

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All Saints have a cool range of tees and vests with chilling graphic prints. This Theron Tee is £40.

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This cardigan comes in a vast range of colours, from H&M. My favourite is ‘Light Camel Marl’, and at only £9.99 it’s a steal!

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No chance of getting cold in this shearling aviator jacket by Burberry Prorsum. Ok, so it is a fashion investment at £2,195 but you could always try your local leather shop for a more affordable option.

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These leather trim skinny jeans are in a flattering dark denim. Find them at Topshop, £45.

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Who thought comfort could be so stylish? Grab a bargain at Dorothy Perkins, these ankle boots are only £40.

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You can fit the kitchen sink in here…along with a brolly and any layers you need to strip off. Find this Longobardi Oversized Italian leather bag at hattyandmoo.com, £265.

by Tamar Kendall

Google Alerts, Market Research for Actors | The Film Set

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There, I said it…market research.

It’s not called Showbusiness for nothing, there are plenty of amazing Actors out there who are incredibly talented but have never had a paid acting job and there’s nothing wrong with that but if you want to make a career from Acting it makes sense to treat it as a business…That means doing all the boring stuff like tax returns, PR and market research.

(yeh yeh Gen, what about this Google Alerts thing) Chill out inner monologue, I’m getting to it.

What is Google Alerts?

Google Alerts are email updates of the latest relevant Google results (web, news, etc.) You enter the topic you want to keep tabs on and they send you an email when there’s a new result.

The alerts get emailed to you at a frequency you chose or you could opt to receive it via an RSS feed if you have a Google account. Users with Google Accounts can also view, create, edit and delete their alerts using the “Manage your Alerts” page.

What can it be used for?

You can have an alert for yourself (err, it’s not vain), any competitors, any productions that you are really keen on, open auditions in your town, casting directors, that TV show you’re owed repeat fees for, your mates, your mum…the list is endless. (Actually I just learnt the list is limited to 1000 per email address but that’s still a fair few)

Let’s take this scenario for example…there’s a Hypothetical Theatre down the road in the town of Blah where you live. They put their castings up on their website but checking their website everyday is absurd. So, you set up a Google Alert for [“Hypothetical Theatre” Blah Casting] and hooray! When they announce their next casting on their website you’ll be the first to know.

That’s a bit sly isn’t it?

You might think it’s a bit sly but PR companies get paid tons to collect clippings for companies and Google themselves suggest using Alerts for the following things:

” – monitoring a developing news story

– keeping current on a competitor or industry

– getting the latest on a celebrity or event”

What about if there’s more than one person with the same name…

There are folk in the world who have completely unique names…Google Alerts for them are simple and straightforward. However, if you’re searching for a person that has a common name and you don’t want updates on everyone with that particular name, Google have thought of this too and have help guides with some advanced tips.

So for example if you’re searching for someone called thingymabob, and there’s another thingymabob who’s a high profile baker, all you need to do is put a minus (-) sign in front of a keyword attached to the other thingymabob you don’t want to know about. Your search would look like this [“thingymabob” -baker]

My top tip

If you haven’t already got a Google account then head on down and get one. Then instead of choosing to have the alerts sent to you vie email you can receive them to your Google Reader as an RSS feed.

[Google Alerts]

Genevieve Sibayan is a London based Actress, you can find Genevieve’s blog here and get updates by clicking on her rss feed. If you’d like to subscribe to The Film Set on Frost Magazine then click here.

Advice Blogs for Actors {The Film Set | Genevieve Sibayan}

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Like every actor out there, I have a stack of books sitting on a shelf gathering dust becoming more and more irrelevant by the minute. There are some good informative books, but they’re becoming the exception rather than the norm. Sometimes I look at my stack of irrelevant books and resent them for costing me (taunting me with their perfect spines) especially as there is so much fantastic advice and information out there on the internet. Here’s a few below, these are just the ones I subscribe to so there may be tons more. Let me know if you find any.

 

Bonnie Gilespie’s Blog – The Actor’s Voice

There is so much amazing info here, all for free. Everything here is positive, inspiring and useful. Casting Director Bonnie Gilespie has clearly put a lot of time into this column on Showfax and even though she’s US based, it’s relevant internationally.

rss feed: http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/index.xml

The Actor’s Voice – POV

Showfax, wiz all zis information your are really spoiling uz. This time it’s Bonnie Gilespie and friends. Friends being people in the biz, and there’s quite a few. By a few I mean tons.

rss feed: http://more.showfax.com/plus/pov/index.xml

The Casting Corner

Another column on Showfax, this time from Casting Director Mark Sikes. Mark posts some great advice on a weekly basis…he’s there every week.

rss feed: http://more.showfax.com/columns/corner/index.xml

The Actor Cast Blog

Yet more great advice. ActorCast is a US based web service allowing Actors to submit directly to Casting Directors existing services. Their blog has articles, How to guides, Q&A’s and Open calls.

rss feed: http://actorcastblog.com/blog/?feed=rss2

Backstage Magazine

A US trade journal for Actors proving just how much of an industry this actually is. They have a regular advice column.

rss: http://feeds.feedburner.com/Backstage-Columns

Playbills vs. Paying Bills

Advice and insight from three actors from across the pond. Ben Whitehair, Joe Von Bokern and Emily Beuchat share their stories, resources, recommendations and stuff from their respective acting scenes in LA, Chicago and New York. Read it, you will be entertained and you will learn things!

rss feed: http://playbillsvspayingbills.com/?feed=rss2

The Film Set – Frost Magazine

Brought to you by a couple of London actresses…Catherine Balavage and Genevieve Sibayan. Ok! ok, you caught me, this suggestion’s a little biased but we do have some interviews with fantastic casting directors and people involved in Film and TV.

rss: http://feeds.feedburner.com/FrostMagazineTheFilmSet

Know any more blogs that I’ve missed out? Leave me a comment below and I’ll update the post.

Update:

Minimum Wage Actors [Thanks Pete Jenkinson for this one]

News about National Minimum Wage stories affecting or having affected Actors and Performers.

rss: http://actorsminimumwage.wordpress.com/feed/


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Genevieve Sibayan is a London based Actress, you can find Genevieve’s blog here and get updates by clicking on her rss feed. If you’d like to subscribe to The Film Set on Frost Magazine then click here.

What is an RSS feed? And some (probably) useful feeds for Actors {The Film Set | Genevieve Sibayan}

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I don’t want to patronise you…so if you already know all this then scroll down for some (probably) useful feeds…if you think “hmm, feed, omnomnom” then keep reading.

What is an RSS feed?

RSS stands for Rich Site Summary Really Simple Syndication. It’s basically a way of subscribing to a blog or website or any number of things that publish content on a regular basis.

The RSS feed tells your RSS Reader that you’d like to receive updates as and when they happen. By subscribing to a site’s feed in Reader, you will automatically be notified when that website contains new posts or entries. Instead of checking sites repeatedly for updates, RSS feeds bring your favorite websites to you.

This means that you can be kept up to date with a web site and you don’t need to use your bookmarks or clutter up your email inbox with newsletters. Those of us who are Blackberry owners know the feeling of newsletter-overload-itis.

Err…what’s an RSS Reader?

An RSS Reader works a little like an email account. You can subscribe to all the feeds from different sites or sources you like and star, label or organise them into folders just like you can your email account. If you have a Google account then you are already set up for Google Reader, you just need to click on the text link at the top of your Google account page.

If you don’t want to use Google Reader then there are loads of readers out there (here’s a short list) and you can also get them in app form.

Right, got my Feed Reader…now what?

Go to the website you want to receive updates for and look for the feed icon…

When you see it on a website, clicking will usually direct you to that site’s feed. From there, you can either copy and paste the link to subscribe to the feed in Reader, or in the case of many browsers, click a button to subscribe directly.

If that doesn’t happen then right click on the icon and copy the link address. You can then use that address in your reader if you look for the Add Subscription link.

What’s the point again?

Ok, yes you have Twitter and Facebook and email newsletters and people telling you Eastenders spoilers over BBM (yeh, er thanks for that) but with social media and time differences you can miss things and a huge amount of the info isn’t relevant. Cue distraction and reading about peoples lunches and kittens. Readwriteweb.com has a great post on why feed readers rock.

Yeh but…what’s the point again?

You can use RSS feeds to get updates from Casting Directors blogs, updates for productions that are casting, industry news, Google Alerts (which I will go into in more detail about in the future), advice columns and even Youtube Channels.

If you want to follow a youtube channel the feed address is as follows: http://gdata.youtube.com/feeds/base/users/[insert username here]/uploads

You can also use feeds to publicise your own stuff, your blogs, news updates on your website, your webseries channel etc.

Can you give us some examples?

Firstly I have to point out that these question headers are coming from my inner monologue who has just refered to itself as “us”. Should I be worried?

And yes, I can give you some examples…

The Stage – News Headlines and Features

UK pride and joy of the theatrical society The Stagehas almost 600 subscribers via rss alone proving it’s still relevant.

News rss: http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheStageNews

Features rss: http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheStageFeatures

ScreenTerrier

A great new UK blog with news on young british actors. Breaks the occasional story about castings. The feed isn’t even publicised on their site but already has plenty of followers.

rss: http://screenterrier.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

The Casting Scoop

USA based with lotsa info and insight but how else would I know that Twilight CD Lana Veenker is holding a workshop in London…

rss: http://castingscoop.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Nancy Bishop’s Blog

Casting director Nancy Bishop’s blog mostly contains updates about events, seminars, links to webinars and projects she’s casting all in THE BIGGEST FONT EVER. I picked up her book recently and I recommend it to any screen actor. Nancy is based in Prague but works internationally.

rss: http://nancybishopcasting.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

Bafta Events Feed

Even if you’re not a member you can still go to some of the Bafta events. If you do go…remember to ring the doorbell. Or just hang around outside for a few minutes and giggle at people tugging at the door handles in vain. Not that I do that…honestly!

rss: http://www.bafta.org/events.xml

The Film Set – Frost Magazine

Subscribe to this feed…this actual feed that you’re reading now. A UK based column with interviews with Casting Directors actors etc…run by a couple of Actresses that go by the names of Catherine Balavage and Genevieve Sibayan. Errr…yeh that’s us.

rss: http://feeds.feedburner.com/FrostMagazineTheFilmSet

 

Genevieve’s Feed

That’s me! I’m the one writing this. Subscribe to it…if you like.

rss feeeeeed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/GenevieveSibayan

I don’t wanna overwhelm you so I will stop but rest assured you WILL be getting more suggestions on ace blogs to follow wether you like it or not. Blogs from people who have much better advice than little old me! Tata for now folks!

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Genevieve Sibayan is a London based Actress, you can find Genevieve’s blog here and get updates by clicking on her rss feed. If you’d like to subscribe to The Film Set on Frost Magazine then click here.

My Two Pence {The Film Set | Genevieve Sibayan}

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Oh Hai! It’s high time I threw my proverbial hat into the resource share arena.

I’ve been acting in London for a few years now and have a stack of Equity diaries to remind me! It’s not uncommon for newbies to ask my advice (yeah I know! *giggles) but for some reason I always assume that people already know all the same info I know. So when I’m put on the spot I mostly come out with “err, work hard?” which isn’t the most helpful thing to say.

I assume that because there’s so much free (and sometimes not free) information and resources available that everyone’s already found it. Of course that’s a silly thing to think.

So my mission is to share some of the things I know and point my finger at the best resources and occasionally give my opinion on things…most advice out there is the same…CV, headshot, hard work etc…all very important but I’m hoping we can uncover something a bit different. I certainly don’t know everything so if you have any finds you want to share or opinions then the comments are the place to put them. That’s what sharing’s about isn’t it?

I don’t know many Actors in this country (UK) who’s sharing their resources and I can only assume it’s because no one wants to appear arrogant or doesn’t want the competition to know what they know…If I’m wrong, and you do have a blog, I’d love to read it.

So to start off with, let me link you back to a few articles right here on Frost Magazine. And what a place to start! We’ve got a column entitled ‘the film set’ (some pun intended) and here’s a few excerpts from some of the articles (click on the titles to see the whole article:

Interview with Casting Director Richard Evans

We asked: Who is your inspiration?
“Anyone who knows what they want and goes for it wholeheartedly… especially if they have overcome adversity to do so.”

Interview with Lyn Burgess – Life Coach and also runs the Women in Film and TV events committee

““Fake it till you make it!” It’s good to model someone else who is a confident person – give yourself a ‘confident outfit’ or a lucky pair of knickers.”

Interview with Actor and Casting Director Leoni Kibbey

“You get out what you put back in. Always go with your gut instinct. Don’t get cosmetic surgery. Floss. Use Sunscreen.”

Interview with Simon Dale from Casting Call Pro

“Among the strangest we’ve had are requests for actors to play pranks on bosses and ex-partners, as well as a over-zealous salesman who was offering an all-expenses-paid trip to Helsinki for anyone who was willing to impersonate his CEO at a client meeting the the real CEO couldn’t attend.”

We also have an article written by sitcom actor Ceri Phillips (Ollie, Coming of Age) on what it’s like in his world and if you wanted to hear about some unusual moments from our career so far.

Right, off to learn a speech for an audition but I’ll be back very soon (mu ha ha)…ciao for now!

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Genevieve Sibayan is a London based Actress, you can find Genevieve’s blog here and get updates by clicking on her rss feed. If you’d like to subscribe to The Film Set on Frost Magazine then click here.