Tag Archives: midwife

Why a Caesarian Can be a Positive Birth Experience

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Catherine Balavage I didn’t give enough thought to how my son would be born. I just knew it would be painful. I would put the baby clothes, we bought, to my bump and wonder at just how lucky we were to be having a child. It felt like such a happy miracle it didn’t even feel real, even as he kicked inside me. Little did I know just how hard his birth would be.

I went into labour with a positive mindset. I am a worrier by nature so I can’t say there were not moments when I did not contemplate the worst, but overall, I was feeling strong, happy and positive. We were so excited to finally meet our son. For such a worrier, I wasn’t that worried. The human race has survived thousands of years. Women have given birth at home, in caves and even in cars. It was going to hurt but I have always had a high pain threshold. I was confident I could manage the birth. So when I went into labour on a Sunday evening I did not think it would be long until we met our child. What followed was over 80 hours of hell followed by something glorious: a C section.

A lot of negativity is said about the C section. Some people claim it is the easy choice, it isn’t, the recovery is a bitch.  Others say it isn’t natural, it may not be ‘natural’ but it has saved countless human lives so hurray for medical science. I, however, have nothing but praise. After 80 hours of labour our son was in distress, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice and his heartbeat kept on dropping. I switched off and just concentrated on the best case scenario, knowing that panic would just make the situation worse.

As the surgeon who did my caesarean explained why I should have an emergency caesarian she looked almost like an angel to me. Within twenty minutes, my son was born. The obstetrician team at Kingston Hospital who did my C section were amazing. Despite being paralysed from the waist down and being naked underneath my hospital gown I felt safe. They were truly wonderful and I still think of them when I look at my little boy. My little boy who’s life they saved. The midwife even stayed with me the entire time, from the morning when my baby was in distress, until just after noon when he was born. There is an obsession with natural birth these days, and as I was wheeled into the theatre I did feel like I had failed, but the only thing that really matters about childbirth is a healthy mother and child. How that happens doesn’t matter in the end, and that is never more true than when they put the baby in your arms. My C section was not only a positive experience, it saved the life of my son. What could possibly be negative about that?

 

 

Flat coke may be the cure for Kate Middleton’s morning sickness

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katemiddletonThere is a high probability that Kate Middleton will experience the same morning sickness as with her first pregnancy, say Alison Edwards – Senior Lecturer in Midwifery at Birmingham City University. In fact she has had to cancel some of her engagements already because of her acute morning sickness.

 

“Though there is an increased chance due to having the excessive sickness before she may well have an entirely different experience this time with little or no sickness.  Though there is no ‘cure’ for morning sickness (and certainly not hyperemesis) there are steps that can be taken to try to settle the unpleasant symptoms.”

 

“Though there are few sources of scientific evidence to support any ‘remedies’, making sure fluid intake is maintained is a priority. Flat coke has been found to help here as can arrowroot or ginger. Some women swear by travel bands.  Small low fat meals can help and avoiding anything spicy.  If the symptoms become excessive then medical advice must be sought as there are medications that can reduce the sickness and nausea; these do need prescribing however.

 

“Excessive morning sickness can make women unwell and certainly miserable, so plenty of support and rest are vital, especially if admission to hospital is required as Kate was last year. There are also support groups set up by women who have experienced hyperemesis.”

 

 

Wendy's baby diary – Six months! – Guilt, isolation and men

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Six months old

Dillon was six months old on Monday the 3rd October 2011. A lot has happened in this first six months including his christening , baby swimming classes, health centre visits and weigh ins, the
dog eating the midwifes shoes, the whole experience of giving birth, going to University, starting my website http://www.femalearts.com, being off work, weaning the baby, his milestones including Dillon getting his first baby teeth, sitting up, rolling around on the floor, playing with his feet, smiling and laughing and interacting with objects and people.

I’d like to thank Catherine Balavage at Frost Magazine for offering me this blank canvas to write about Dillon. I wanted to document these moments so that in the future I can look back (hopefully Dillon will also read it) and have a record of this wonderful, life changing time.

It’s been a brilliant six months but it’s also been tiring, stressful and a lot of hard work. I’ve said in my diary about how the baby is progressing, the goods, toys and clothes we have bought for him, what activities he is enjoying and how he’s developing but I don’t think I’ve said so much about my feelings. The following topics have been on my mind recently…

Men with babies

Recently there has been a couple of TV Doctors with babies – Doc Martin has a baby, James Cordon was left holding the baby in Doctor Who – portraying what it feels like for the dad to be the primary carer –the Doctor Who story was about panic and fluster with the conclusion that dads
are actually protective loving individuals and the mums are competent women who make lists and mother both their partner and baby.

Nothing is that clear cut and I’m not sure there is a big gender difference in the way we are parents, it may just boil down to the amount of physical time spent with the baby = the more you know them = the more competent you become at dealing with them.

The only thing that aggravates me with stories on TV about dads coping alone with babies is that there aren’t an equivalent number of stories about mums coping alone with babies. Because it isn’t all confident list making and natural mothering instincts, it’s often panic, confusion, stress,
isolation and guilt.

Isolation

It’s lonely being a stay at home mum. Even though it is through choice I miss chatting to colleagues, I miss talking to my husband, I miss my family, and I miss my friends. Having another adult in the house during the day (e.g. when relatives have come to stay and at the weekend when the baby’s dad is at home) makes so much difference to my life. All the bags of stuff needed
to carry around for the baby, all the preparation that’s needed before I can leave the house, all the attention and love and care that Dillon needs – is so much easier when it’s shared.

Recently I have realised I need to make more of an effort to see my friends – especially friends who are available in the daytime. Getting out daily with the dog and the baby for walks and taking baby to classes or shopping is something but it’s not the same as being with people who know and care about me, who I can have a proper conversation with.

I can see why going back to work begins to look appealing because you can start to be yourself again and have adult interaction without constantly thinking about the baby’s needs and their safety. But employment means childcare. Which brings me onto my next subject – guilt.

Guilt

As a parent there is one thing you can be certain of – a steady almost constant feeling of guilt. I think it stems from conflict between personal needs/wants and that of your child.  My current guilty feelings are – guilt for using formula, guilt for starting weaning before six months, guilt for not weaning successfully, guilt for not establishing a pattern (of eating/sleeping), guilt for trying to establish a pattern, guilt for not living up to other people’s parenting expectations, guilt for not
returning to work yet, guilt for arranging childcare, guilt for doing my master’s degree, guilt for not being sure, guilt over baby’s eczema not clearing up, guilt for letting the dog spend time with baby, guilt for separating dog from baby, guilt for daily dressing of baby in babygro’s in attempt to stop skin contact with whatever is causing the eczema, guilt for not taking enough photos of baby, guilt for not posting all the thank you cards yet, guilt for not buying enough things for baby, guilt for spending so much money, guilt for wanting my boobs back, guilt that he cries a lot, guilt whenever I let him cry before going to him, guilt that I’m spending time writing this!

There’s too much guilt, worry, anxiety and the only consolation is the thought that other people may be feeling the same way.

Self-Medication

One of the best ways to cope is summed up with a quote from my friend BenJohn’s facebook update.

“Youngsters, you probably think booze is for enjoying and having fun. Let me assure you it is a medicine for those with children to let them relax in the gaps when they’re asleep.”

© Wendy Thomson 2011

Wendy Thomson is the editor of www.femalearts.com an online publication which promotes women in the arts and in business.