Tips for squeezing the best out of the last few months of 2020

By Sid Madge, author of the ‘Meee in a minute’ series of books 

2020 is proving to be the toughest year that most of us can remember. We’ve got through so far and can now look at how to adapt and get the most we can from the remaining few months of this year.   

According to a YouGov poll only 8% of Britons want to go back to life as it was before the pandemic.  

Let’s create something better for everyone instead of some watered down ‘new normal’. The first step for squeezing the best out of the rest of 2020 is to embrace uncertainty. There isn’t going to be some miracle vaccine by December, so what do we do now and for the rest of the year?  We grab the remainder of the year by the scruff of its neck and focus on changing for the better. 

Your Innate Growth Mindset

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck became obsessed with understanding how people cope with failures and setbacks. Initially her research looked at kids and how they reacted to puzzles they couldn’t solve. The outcome of Dweck’s research is now world famous and she proposes that our success and happiness in life comes down to one thing – mindset. According to Dweck there are two – fixed and growth.  

Individuals with a fixed mindset, have a fixed idea of what they are capable of, believing that what they are born with is the finish line. They tend to be more defeatist. Those with a growth mindset believe that what we are born with is just the beginning. What we are capable of is determined by our own aspirations, effort and determination. 

Interestingly, Dweck believes we are all born with a growth mindset. We get trained out of it. We’re taught that failure is unacceptable – even though all great success comes through failure not by avoiding it. If ever we needed to re-assess that growth mindset it’s now. 

Take a minute to consider whether you have a fixed or growth mindset?  Has Covid-19 made it more fixed as you sink into a gloom? If you imagine you had a growth mindset instead – what would you do? Looking at your life and the rest of 2020 – what could you try? What have you always thought of doing but never got around to it? Lean into the uncertainty and adapt. Use it as a springboard to try things you’ve been putting off. Is there a different market you could approach? Stay curious, flexible, and open. 

Changing Your Today to Change Your Tomorrow

What have you done today? Is that getting you closer to your business and life goals or further away? If you want a different tomorrow so you find a successful way through the pandemic, you need to take steps to change what you do today. 

Stop for a moment and reflect on how you spend your time. When did you get up this morning?  How much TV do you watch?  How much time do you spend on social media? How much time do you spend learning something new? Do you spend time with family or friends?  Are those exchanges enjoyable or stressful? How much time do you spend on your health?  How much sleep do you get most nights? 

Take a minute to draw a circle and divide it up into slices that represent how you spend your time during a typical day. Now draw another circle and divide it up to represent how you would like to spend your day. If you spend a lot of time at work but don’t enjoy it, what could you do today to find a something that you might enjoy more? Or what could you change at in work/home life today to improve your day? Identify the things you like or can live with and the things that you don’t like and can’t live with. How can you change the aspects of your day that bring you down? 

Often, we don’t need to make big sweeping changes.  Subtle little shifts can accumulate to bring about change.  

Growth from Trauma

In 1967 psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe developed a list of 47 stressful events that could impact health and happiness. The assumption is logical – we get more stressed when bad stuff happens to us, start accumulating stressful experiences such as a job loss, illness or divorce and you are more susceptible to physical illness, disease and depression. Global pandemics and economic uncertainty don’t help either.

However, the fly in their theoretical ointment was the fact that not everyone who experienced really tough life events were negatively impacted by them. On the contrary, some of those people actively flourished. This field of study is called post traumatic growth or adversarial growth and studies have shown that great suffering or trauma can actually lead to huge positive change. For example, after the Madrid bombings of 2004 psychologists found that many of those affected experienced positive psychological growth. A diagnosis of cancer and subsequent recovery can also trigger positive growth. 

The people in many of these studies found new meaning and new purpose from surviving something terrible. Instead of seeing their situation as a failure or a problem they believed it could make them stronger. How can you use Covid-19 to find new meaning and positive growth?

Take a minute to think about exactly what you are worried about most in your life and identify one thing you can do about it right now. Set that in motion. What positives could you pull from the turmoil? Get creative – think of at least three positives that Covid-19 could give you. It might not be fun but if you can find the silver linings you can often move on quicker.

These suggestions are pulled from my Meee in a Minute books, each offering 60 one-minute micro-ideas and insights that can help us to shift our perception in life, family and at work.  We can all use tiny interventions to adapt and change and make the very best we can of the months ahead. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sid Madge is founder of Meee (My Education Employment Enterprise) which draws on the best creativity and thinking from the worlds of branding, psychology, neuroscience, education and sociology, to help people achieve extraordinary lives.

To date, Meee has transformed the lives of over 20,000 people, from leaders of PLC’s and SME’s to parents, teachers, students, carers, the unemployed and prison inmates.

Sid Madge is also author of the ‘Meee in Minute’ series of books which each offer 60 ways to change your life, work-, or family-life in 60 seconds. 

Web: www.meee.global

Web: www.meeebooks.com

Twitter twitter.com/Meee_HQ
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MeeeHQ/
Instagram www.instagram.com/meeehq
YouTube https://youtu.be/fISupZWZMQc
TEDx https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR3Cyjs62c8

 

The Energy Bus Book Review

theenergybusbookreviewThe Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel your Life, Work and Team with Positive Energy By Jon Gordon is a self help book with a difference. Written as a fictional story about a negative businessman who’s life changes when his car breaks down and he is forced to take the bus. The driver, Joy, has 10 rules to a positive mindset. I found the book helpful with fascinating facts about the heart and Abraham Lincoln. Facts, rules and fiction are all woven together into a book that inspires positive energy and gives you the tools to bring that positive energy to your life and work place. 

Easy to understand and implement. Recommended for work and home. 

The book, which is written in the style of a fable, takes place in a business setting,  and includes an Action Plan and 10 simple rules, using the analogy of a bus ride, to build a positive, high performing team. The Energy Bus has proved hugely popular in the US amongst sports teams and their coaches and Gordon, a former  College lacrosse player, regularly gets asked to address sports teams teaching them how  to maintain a positive mindset throughout gruelling training sessions.

Discover how to stay positive and avoid ‘energy vampires’

According to a global Gallup poll, negativity in the workplace is rife, with only 1 in 8 employees being psychologically committed to their jobs and likely to be making positive contributions to their organisations.

Energy coach Jon Gordon wants to change that.  In his bestselling self-help book, The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to fuel your life, work and team with positive energy, the author offers lessons on staying positive and avoiding ‘energy vampires’ who will ‘suck the life out of you and your goals and vision’ if you let them. Gordon offers 10 simple rules to achieving positive results which, when applied, have an impact on health, family, team and personal success.

The author draws on his experience of working with thousands of leaders and teams  to provide  readers with insights and practical strategies to help them achieve a positive team and culture. Written in the style of a fable, the book tells the story of a man, struggling in his job and marriage, whose car gets a flat tyre, forcing him to take a bus to work.  The bus driver’s positive attitude helps him to turn his life around.

“While this fable takes place in a business setting, this book was written for everyone.  We are all part of a team, and every member of our team – whether it’s our work team, sports team, family team, or school team, can benefit from the 10 simple, powerful rules shared in this book.  After all, positive people and positive teams produce positive results, and the essential ingredient is positive energy.” Jon Gordon

 

 About the author:

Jon Gordon’s best selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous sports coaches and teams, organisations, schools, hospitals and charities. He is the author of The Wall Street Journal best seller The Energy BusThe No Complaining RuleTraining CampThe Shark and The Goldfish and Soup: A Recipe to Nourish your Team and Culture. Connect with him at www.JonGordon.com

 

Published by Wiley.

The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy is available here.

ISBN: 9781119089148

 

 

Dr David R Hamilton… Self Love at BAFTA

On Sunday 6th July 2014, I was at BAFTA waiting to see Dr David R Hamilton (PhD), not really knowing what to expect and thought how many people would be either Watching Wimbledon, or getting their BBQ ready for some Sunday lunch. As I look around at the audience, it is evident there is a high female content, so thought that maybe I was not really meant to be there and made sure that I could get to a point in the event and leave were it not for someone like myself . I sat and waited and Sunita Shroff announces that David Hamilton will be coming on stage and a rapturous applause greets him as he takes to the stage. He has a warm demeanour, a soft Perth accent and gracious in the welcome before starting his talk. He gave a little info about himself and how he gave up being an Pharmaceutical engineer, or Organic Chemist, as he typified.

Credit: http://drdavidhamilton.com

Credit: http://drdavidhamilton.com

What I found fascinating was not the fact he had science to back up the theories that doctors and scientist either were scared to admit, or commit to, but opened himself up to the fact he is just as vulnerable as all of us. No piousness or judgemental accusations… not even a snide underhand remark, which was easily the best thing about his whole talk. He was one of us and as flawed and capable of making mistakes like the rest of us!

Delving into the medicine side of things, Dr Hamilton said that the placebo effect account for 80% of the drugs efficiency, which makes sense. As the more expensive the drug, the better it works, even though it may be the same as a cheaper version. Humans definitely are strange… and are contradictory in situations that should be obvious. For some reason, more means better, when it can actually mean just the same!

Mentioning long term effects, Dr Hamilton mentions things we should all know, but we really do take for granted. For example stress! We all know how bad it is for the body, but do we know what it does? It causes micro tears around the body, which means the repairing and swelling of these micro tears makes our blood pressure rise.  And this in turn causes cardiovascular distress! So, why is it we hate people so much? This too is stress! Self inflicted, but it is stress none-the-less! A rise in Cortisol a lowering of Oxytocin and deliberately calcifies our own arteries! The problem is, is it healthier to be happy than sad, but we don’t teach this! We are so far apart from our families and friends that being happy almost seems like a luxury, or something saved for a special occasion.

After going through the benefits of a simple thing, such as a hug (which raises Oxytocin and makes you feel good and be healthier) Dr Hamilton went on to give The Roseto Effect as an example. I remember reading about this when I was younger, but didn’t think much of it until the points raised were made apparent! If I miss out all the parts leading up to the conclusion and condense it, it will make more readable sense, as I still have much more to say.

The basics of Roseto, Pennsylvania were that the men had a lower heart disease rate than anywhere else in the US and the reasons could not be found as an obvious source. They did all the naughty things from smoking to drinking and eating fatty foods, but the main reason was not down to the water, area, or anything material, but something immaterial! There was little stress! Ironically they did everything we should do today. There was no keeping up with the Joneses. Houses were very close together, and everyone lived more or less alike. The elderly were revered and incorporated into community life. Housewives were respected, and fathers ran the families. Basically they were together and loved each other! Empathy, kindness, compassion… all the things the modern society are thin on. Oh, we have it in waves, but it should be the dominating factor, not something used sparingly. Social interaction and compassion leads to a life of longevity and better health!

Before we broke for lunch, we were given a very good, feel good meditation with affirmations… I would say it here, but I feel that you need to go see Dr Hamilton for the full experience! I would also be doing him a disservice for not giving the full credence it deserves!! I will use it for a more positive outlook and think that everyone should have it, even if it’s to get your day started and ended on a good foot!

The break for lunch sparks debates and theories with everything being positive, so a job well done! It was also great to be looking forward to a second half of more positivity.

Being married to an actress, it was almost fitting that Dr Hamilton started the second half with a short film from his wife, Elizabeth Caproni, Called The Angel. Not a straight forward one, but ones that we don’t see, until we open up to see them! It was a very cathartic and understated short, which fitted in nicely without being pretentious. As his wife is dear to his heart, Dr Hamilton is naturally proud of her achievements and her ability. And rightly so! She is writing and directing with her own production company (Pocket Rocket Productions) and doesn’t look like stopping either!

Dr Hamilton continued with positive affirmations, especially when you can say your wife screened her short film at BAFTA, so that is a good way to look at how real they can become! Even giving up his well paid job to become a public speaker and author could also be proof that his affirmations are solid and work. I think that everyone got their own piece of need and want from the affirmations and maybe that is all that it is supposed to be!

One of the anecdotes hit home with me and that was when Dr Hamilton mentioned how he was bullied at school! The problem with children are they learn more by environment than by what is taught to them by teachers and parents and ironically this was both in this instance. Coming from a background that was hard pressed for cash, a time came when his teacher asked the pupils to bring 15 pence in for a school trip! However, when he was at home, he felt guilty about how he would hear his mother cry about the money they didn’t have and being unable to by Christmas presents for the children. So with the guilt for not being mindful with his own pocket money, he didn’t bring the money in for the trip and like most teachers of the day she embarrassed him in front of the class by giving the other kids big yellow badges, which alienated him from the rest of the class!

I believe, Dr Hamilton, when he says that children are born devoid of hate, self aware and full of love and yet they are reprogrammed by adults, which shows where the real issue is. The aptly named Self Love Deficit happens in the first 6-7 years of their life and then when life’s difficulties occur, we tend to reflect back to those childhood situations and the adult mentality regresses to being that child again and rarely dissipates throughout adulthood as it has become habitual and part of the subconscious.

The thoughts can be reprogrammed to think more like a positive person and habitually so. After all the brain is like a muscle and can be trained with enough repetition. Therefore mental atrophy is akin to muscular atrophy! Basically, if you don’t use it, you lose it. If you don’t feed the negativity, you cannot have that process anymore.

Dr Hamilton went on to say something which was totally prophetic, but should be basic knowledge! You cannot disentangle the emotions from the brain chemistry, body chemistry, or respiratory system. For instance, when you’re upset, you are usually slouched over, or head is down, but changing your posture automatically changes the way the body reacts! Standing up straight and lifting your head can change the whole dynamic making you feel better! Same with stress and anxiety. These can make you sweat and once you cool down, you feel better, but if you add the change of thought to add to it, you can make the situation more positive than negative. Minimising the time spent in misery will make a healthier outlook, but that is obvious, right?

As Dr Hamilton was getting to the conclusion of the talk, he reminded people to always be themselves. By that he meant no mask that is trying to please everyone. You may not get the whole amount of people, but you get the ones that are meant to be with you and empower you. The right people will expand you as you will them being in each other’s lives. Expanding your thoughts and life may put you outside of your comfort zone, but your thoughts and body language can push the envelope and your life will match your attitude!

My final thoughts on the seminar are that I have a problem with it! And the reason is that far too many men are missing out of life skills and embracing self love, because the closest thing to self love is not the one that should be discussed due to its graphic nature. I am talking about those people that think being macho is relevant! It may have its place, but it should not be all who you are. The fact women have switched on to better themselves proves why men are getting left behind! Anyone who wants to keep their attitude on a poor level needs revaluate what exactly they want from life!

If after all that you want to have the changes, but not go to the seminars… then buy one of his books, check out his website. He is also on Facebook, so you have no excuses. His website is www.drdavidhamilton.com, Twitter is @DrDRHamilton and Facebook is David R Hamilton PhD

Thank you to BAFTA for being open on a Sunday and for Sunita Shroff for hosting, who can be found on the website www.sunitashroff.com And BAFTA is www.bafta.org