Tag Archives: working mum

MumsThread: On The Importance of Work When You Become a Mother

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working mothers, working mum, freelance, self employed, mothers, mumsthread, babies, feminism, sexism, Out of all of the truisms, few are more true as when you choose a job, you choose a lifestyle. This was never more true when I first became an actor many moons ago (at one point I had three survival jobs. A day one, an evening one and a weekend one), or when I had a corporate job that paid absurdly well, but made me unhappy because it felt like my creative soul was dying.

Now I have a child lifestyle is important. I have been self employed and freelance for about six years now. And it is wonderful and awful, easy and hard. The truth is: I have worked harder and had tougher work conditions as my own boss than in any other. Frequently not allowing myself breaks, chaining myself to my desk as I just churn the work out. But having my son last year resulted in changes. Mostly because I fell head over heels in love with him, and I will never be the same again. It has required sacrifices, and sometimes those sacrifices are that I get barely any work done at all. Those days are the toughest. I have turned down a lot of great opportunities and my acting career is on the back burner, but I know that the privilege of seeing my son grow up is bigger than anything else. It was always important to me that my son was raised by at least one of his parents. It’s not a judgment call, all power to nannies and nurseries. In fact, I wish I could afford a live-in nanny, or a night nanny. Oh what heaven that would be.

But what I didn’t bargain on was how much I love working. Even the worst job I had brought something good with it: money, a reason to get out of bed, meeting people, a sense of worth. I am not saying I want to go back to those awful jobs, but work gives you identity and freedom. It means you are contributing to society. All of these are things that are very important. Even more so when you have a child and otherwise you just feel like someone’s mother and someone’s wife. I am not slamming being a housewife. It is as valid a choice as any. But I know myself, I need to work, and times where I can’t fit my work in due to childcare/a sick child/ a problem with the flat leaves me with a void. I also believe that a woman needs something for herself, even if it is just a hobby. Women tend to sacrifice themselves and it is unhealthy. Not just for the mother, but all the family. I would love to share childcare 50/50 with my husband, but he works in finance and that is just not possible. So some days I will write an article on my iPhone in the playpen with the baby, I will work on my book as much as possible when the baby finally naps. It has taught me to work smarter, not harder. To be quicker. But the thing having a child has most taught me is quality of life. I no longer chain myself to my desk. I say no to things. Because I have something which gives me more joy than anything else: my son’s face. Even on my hardest day he gives me joy. He has taught me that life is more important than work. I would constantly burn myself out before he came along, now I know that I just have to do what I can and that I am enough. I should be proud of my achievements. On the flip side, I got irritated when a lot of people asked if I would still work after I had a baby, and when I see an article on “selfish” mothers going out to work. I mean, God forbid a women wants to have a career and professional fulfilment. Y’now, like men get to do. No one ever asked a man how he juggles work with having children. The other thing is money: how many households can really survive on one income?

Many women do not get to see their babies grow up. They have to go out and work. I can earn a living as a freelancer and that is a huge achievement. I know I have the best of both worlds, even if I have to bribe the baby with Disney cartoons while I work. It was Sheryl Sandberg who said there is no such thing as work/life balance. There is just life and work and there is no balance. She is a wise woman. As long as I am kind to myself and get everything done eventually I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

 

Glass Ceiling “Is a Myth”, Age is the biggest hurdle

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The glass ceiling is dead as a concept for today’s modern career apparently. But women are still being held behind in the workplace. Here are the depressing facts why….

Ernst & Young poll of 1,000 UK working women says there are multiple barriers to career progression

The concept of a single glass ceiling is an outdated model and no longer reflects the realities of modern working life for women, according to the results of a poll released today by Ernst & Young.

The survey of 1,000 UK working women between the ages of 18 – 60, revealed that two thirds believe they faced multiple barriers throughout their careers, rather than just a single ceiling on entry to the boardroom.

Four key careers barriers throughout a woman’s career

Based on the results, Ernst & Young has identified four key barriers to career progression for today’s working women. These barriers are: age, lack of role models, motherhood, and qualifications and experience.

The professional services firm says that the barriers aren’t chronological and can be experienced at anytime; often several at once. And while they aren’t exclusive to women, it believes it is clear from the research that employers need to provide better support to help women overcome them.

British business losing best and brightest female talent

Liz Bingham, Ernst & Young’s managing partner for people, says, “The focus around gender diversity has increasingly been on representation in the boardroom and this is still very important – as members of the 30% Club we are committed to this.

“But the notion that there is a single glass-ceiling for women, as a working concept for today’s modern career, is dead. Professional working women have told us they face multiple barriers on their rise to the top. As a result, British business is losing its best and brightest female talent from the pipeline before they have even had a chance to smash the glass ceiling. We recognise that in our own business, and in others, and professional women clearly experience it – that’s what they have told us.”

Ernst & Young’s head of advisory, Harry Gaskell, agrees. He says that the barriers identified in the survey reinforce Ernst & Young’s belief that encouraging and supporting women into senior positions is a talent pipeline issue. As a result he believes that organisations need to ensure they are supporting women at every stage of their career lifecycle, not just as they are about to enter the boardroom.

Age is the biggest hurdle

Delving into the findings behind the barriers, the survey identified age – perceived as either too young or too old – as being the biggest obstacle that women face during their careers. 32% of women questioned said it had impacted on their career progression to date, with an additional 27% saying that they thought it would inhibit their progression in the future.

Most markedly it was women in the early stages of their career that seemed to be most acutely impacted – with half of all respondents between 18 and 23 saying age had been a barrier they’d already encountered in their career.

“Age is a very complex issue, especially when it’s linked to perception. It’s concerning to see that women seem to be most vulnerable during the formative stages of their careers, when they are working their way through the ranks,” says Liz.

She argues that businesses need to be aware of pervasive attitudes towards age as a barrier within organisational culture, and suggests that one way of managing this is to encourage diverse role models within an organisation, who can visibly demonstrate that age is not an inhibitor to opportunity and progression.

Exploring the experience and qualifications barrier

Barriers related to a lack of experience or qualifications also featured strongly in the survey. It was the second highest factor that had inhibited women’s careers to date (according to 22% of respondents), and the third highest factor cited as a future inhibitor (19%).

Reflecting on the results, Harry says, “Women, and men, often need to give themselves more credit for the experiences and expertise that they have, while businesses need to look past the piece of paper.

“There is acknowledgement that high academic performance is still part of selection criteria in some organisations, especially at graduate level – and there is a wider issue here about fostering social mobility. But much greater value is being placed today on non-academic achievement and on diversity of experience and perspectives.”

The impact the experience of motherhood can have…

The impact of becoming a mother on a career is well rehearsed and therefore it was unsurprising, if disappointing, that this was identified as a key barrier. Nearly one in five (19%) of those questioned said it had impacted on their career to date. While a further 25% said they thought it was the second biggest inhibitor to their future careers, after age.

Liz says, “I think the only way that organisations can really tackle this is through positive intervention. This includes the provision of supportive programmes that help women to transition back into work after maternity leave and empowers them to take control of their careers and make informed choices.”

Ernst & Young has trail blazed a number of initiatives for working mothers aimed at increasing retention levels and ensuring that women feel supported through-out their career life-cycles. This includes a maternity coaching scheme providing one-to-one counsel with a consultant before, during and after maternity leave.

“Coaching schemes are very valuable,” says Harry. “But I also think there’s an important part that can be played by women role modelling their success and demonstrating by example how they balance the demands of home and work life.”


The value of role models

Three out of four (75%) of those questioned said that they have few or no female role models within their organisations. With some respondents (8%) going as far to say that a lack of role models had had a detrimental impact on their career to date. And therefore role models were identified as one of the four barriers.

Liz says that a lack of role models was a consistent theme across all the age groups polled. “I was really surprised and concerned by these findings. From my own experience I have seen how good role models can have a transformational impact on an individual or team.

“I think one of the big problems is the misconception that you have to be perfect in order to be a role model. Whereas in reality we all have skills, attributes or experiences that would be valuable to share with others.”

But it’s not just down to business…

Ernst & Young says that managing these four barriers is about personal responsibility, appropriate and targeted support from business and positive government intervention.

When respondents were asked to identify what three things their organisations could do to remove these barriers, or better support women’s career progression, the top answers were:

* More support after returning to work from having children (32%)
* More support at every stage of my career lifecycle (24%)
* More visible female role models (19%)

When asked the same question in relation to what government could do, they said:

* Enforcing companies to reveal the ‘pay gap’ between men and women (45%)
* Affordable child-care/ tax relief for childcare (43%)
* Policy guidance on flexible working for UK businesses (28%)

Harry concludes, “Gender diversity transcends the responsibility of government, business and individuals. There is no quick fix or magic bullet; it will take a combined effort, but the focus has to be on the talent pipeline rather than just on the boardroom.

“Positive interventions can work. But we think one of the most fundamental aspects of managing barriers is role models – for people to actively demonstrate that barriers can be over-come. If we can get this right, then perhaps the other barriers will become more manageable and less marked over time.”

Vanessa Vallely Interview Part Two: We Are The City Founder Tells All.

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Part 2

Tell us about your day job. You are head of business management at Aviva

“Basically, it is a business management role. It’s just insuring that the business operates and that the department runs effectively. So there is a risk audit, finance, a bit of HR. I provide support to the COO and the leadership team. So I make things happen and I get things done. I very much enjoy it, it’s a supportive role. I am mentoring other people in Aviva as well and growing a talent pool. I have some good relationships here and let it be said that Aviva have been massively supportive to the website. They know I run the website, they know that I go off and do charity things and they are one of the most supportive employers I have ever worked for. It’s a fantastic place to work.”

If you could have had any other career what would it have been?

“When I left school, I thought I wanted to be a policewoman, and then I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, then a judge, then I wanted to go into the army. So when I look back, they are all quite authoritarian, so I definitely wanted to rule the world in some kind of guise. If I could have had another career I think I would have been a midwife, because it was something that always interested me. I don’t know if I would have had the guts to do it, but I liked the thought of bringing children into the world.

“The funny thing was is that I was not naturally maternal before I had kids, if I heard a child crying in the supermarket I would be like, ‘Shut that child up’. When I had my own baby, it kicked in. I always found it hard to play with children because I was an only child and I played on my own. When I play with my own children, I tend to go off on my own and I have to bring myself back again. I was just used to playing that way. I would still like to be a midwife actually. It is still something that interests me to this day.”

You have won a lot of awards, which ones are you particularly proud of?

“The women in banking and finance award I was very proud of. My mum and dad were there and my dad hadn’t been very well. They divorced 38 years ago but they get along really well. To have them both there was special to me because they have seen me get to where I have gotten to. It was great to be recognised by such a wonderful body. That means so much to me. For the second one, I went to Washington to pick it up. That was a global award and the same one as the three women I have nominated have won. So I have said to my girls, “No more awards please’. I have won quite a lot. My job now is to judge awards and put other women forward, raise their profile and help them along in their career. I have had five award winners in the past year.”

That’s a good rate!

“That is a good rate. But all of them have achieved amazing things, setting up networks, giving effort and giving back to the next generation of women. So if I am in a position to help them, then of course I am going to.”

Your parents must be very proud of you.

“Yeah. My mum is my biggest fan. I mean, she helps me a lot. There is a lot of support behind me. There is my childminder, I don’t think I could do anything without her. There is an ironing man who comes and collects my ironing. It’s the best £30 a week I have ever spent. He would be the last to go. My husband is a huge support. There are a lot of people who enable me to do what I do. I help them all back in different ways. It’s a two-way street. My mum still works, she’s only young, she’s not even 60 yet. So obviously she helps me as much as she can. She is also my best friend. That helps. I confide in her a lot. When I am getting too tired she is the one that says to me, ‘Enough’.”

Mums know

“Exactly, mums know. I am like a train, I just keep going.”

How important is the support of Wearethecity for women?

“There has been a shortage of women in financial services, engineering and IT. The gender issue it not as prevalent as it once was, but at a high level, there is a lack of women in senior roles. And then there is a shortage of women making it onto boards. The City gets a lot of bad press, but we do contribute to the world economy, the UK’s economy. It’s not all million pound bonuses. You are talking about a very small percentage of people. It’s not all financial workers either, there are a lot of people who work in the periphery, you have the bars and the restaurants, and the shops and the retail outfits. It is not just financial services.

“I would encourage women to come up here and try to work. Try and see if they can have a career in the City. It is an exciting time and we are waiting here to support them.”

What do you think of the current government? Do you think they are doing a good job?

“I try to stay clear of politics. One of the things I don’t get involved in is politics. I don’t stay on top of the policies or anything like that. I have no particular alliance to any party. What I would comment on is when they do things that affect young families, because it is a struggle having kids and bringing them up. Childcare is a major thing for young couples, and women returning to work and stuff like that. I have no particular pick of the politicians, I don’t think any of them can be trusted. That would be the only thing I would say.”

Do you think you have a good work/life balance?

“Sometimes not. It was an unique week last week. I dropped my phone down the toilet, I lost my cash card, and I had tonsillitis, one of the kids caught nits, it was just a calamity of errors. I got lost on the same stretch of motorway that I have driven on a hundred times for an hour and a half, going backwards and forwards. I think I was just having one of those weeks. On Sunday night I didn’t get to bed until 11. I didn’t get to wash my hair so it’s dry shampoo on the Monday as I’m going out the door.

“There are weeks when I get it and I learn to appreciate when I’ve got that balance. When it’s Sunday night and the kids are clean, my personal emails are clear and I am on top of work – everything is in it’s box and I have learned to appreciate those moments for what they are because they don’t come around that often. Sometimes, 80% is good enough. If 80% of my washing is done, if there is a little bit in the basket, then I don’t need to tick the box. Sometimes you have to accept that some things are out of your control. You just have to do what you can. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

I work for a good employer, so I only work four days a week. My one day a week off I spend on wearethecity, on my charities, on the awards, I pick my kids up and I drop them off. I have been offered lots of different jobs, even when I have been working here and I haven’t taken them because the employers were not open to me working flexibly. That doesn’t work for me as I have lots of commitments. I am a non exec to charities, I’m a school governor, I’ve got two kids and I can’t do it all without a certain level of flexibility from the people that I work for.”

How do you relax? Do you relax?

“Lots of people would say no, but I know when I need a break. In a couple of weeks, I am going off to Spain on my own for two days and I have booked my bed by the pool. I will just lay there. I relax by thinking, believe it or not. I am not like any girl. I don’t like shopping, believe it or not. I can’t think of anything worse than trying on clothes. I also have a big beef with high street sizes. You can go in one shop and feel great because you’re a size 12 and you go in another shop and you are in a 16. The labelling is all wrong. It can ruin your shopping experience.

“Because I am an only child I am quite comfortable in my own company. Much as I always say I need my sisters – I think the network that I hang out with are my family –  I still like taking time out to be on my own. I try and not do anything.

“I am never without my phone. I’ve got two and I can text on both of them at the same time. I will give any child a text competition run for their money. I get up at half five to get my own personal email down and get my own stuff done, so when the kids get up it’s their time. My life is like a military operation. So when I do get some down time, I do take it.”

Anything else?

“Wearethecity are opening a job board in September. Women can have a portfolio career. I want to teach women that they can come and work here. I would like to think in my lifetime that I make a difference. I would love for a woman to achieve something and we don’t all celebrate because it is not a rare thing. I hope that happens in my tenure, the next 40 years or however long I live. That would put a smile on my face.”

Part one is here.