Top 5 Rude Gifts

Want to buy someone a gift with a difference? Make it a little naughty, Take a look at these Top 5 Rude Gifts, just don’t blame us if it goes wrong.

The W Anchor mug is the rudest cup this year, selling like hot cakes to all those with humour and have mates who suit it! Just make sure you get the joke before you drink out the mug. Even better buy it for your mate, colleague or boss (if you dare)

Don’t sue us if you’re sacked!

wanker mug, w'anthor mug, rude gifts

The W Anchor Mug is just £5.95 from: prezzybox.com

 

Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

Educational, naughty and fun. This book will surely be appreciated.

Shag yourself slim, shagging, lose wieght, sex

I Have Paid My Tax Now Go Fix Some F****** Potholes Tax Disc Holder

Wholly inappropriate and very funny. Might get you into trouble though….

I Have Paid My Tax Now Go Fix Some F****** Potholes Tax Disc Holder

Swearing Parrot Keyring

Endless fun and cute too boot.

Swearing Parrot Keyring - Adult Only Novelty Toy

The Rude Puzzler

Hours of fun and works the mind too. Just maybe not in the right way.

rude gifts, puzzles, puzzle bookWhat do you think? Would you buy one?

Should You Get A Tattoo?

Tattoos used to be for sailors, then rebels and cool people and now they’re…everywhere. Which begs the question, are they still cool? Every celebrity these days seems to ink themselves regularly, no matter what their brand might be. David Beckham reminds me of that line in Cape Fear, ‘I don’t know whether to look at him or read him’.

Magazines make getting a tattoo seem as natural as getting a hair cut and it would be easier to count the people I know that don’t have a tattoo than those who do. The fact is, it is beginning to annoy me because getting a tattoo is not like getting a haircut: it is permanent, expensive, painful and carries health risks. I can say this because I, like pretty much everyone else in the world, have one. Albeit one from ten years ago when I was a teenager; the Japanese Tao for courage on my hip bone. It is tiny and can be covered by my thumb. Which is what the criteria for having a tattoo should be in my opinion: making it able to be hidden. If you don’t agree then think of some of my poor acting friends, who have lost work due to their body art, and singers with hand tattoos who can’t get hired. If the entertainment industry is not keen on people with tattoos imagine how the ‘real’ working world is like. CEO’s with lots of tattoos are not exactly common.

Megan Fox had her tattoo of Marilyn Monroe removed because it had 'negative energy'.

Megan Fox had her tattoo of Marilyn Monroe removed because it had ‘negative energy’.

Megan Fox Marilyn Monroe tattoo

In fact, not everyone can pull of tattoos. Angelina Jolie can but she is so beautiful not much could dent her beauty. It was actually Angelina who inspired me to get a tattoo in the first place. And Jolie is not immune from mistakes, she had her ‘Billy Bob’ tattoo removed after she divorced the actor.  Before Jolie actresses were much more boring, after she came along it became okay to ink yourself up and actually have an opinion. Bland went out, personality came in. But that was a brief window, and you have to be a pretty big star to be work the make up artists budget for hiding it all.

angelina jolie, wanted, tattoo, back tattoo

Angelina Jolie shows of her tats for Vanity Fair's Hollywood issue.

Angelina Jolie shows of her tats for Vanity Fair’s Hollywood issue.

Lana Del Ray's hand tattoo

Lana Del Ray’s hand tattoo

So should you get a tattoo? Let’s break it down.

Think first about the safety concerns. There are serious medical implications in getting a tattoo. Click on this link for more of the safety concerns which include: Tattooing and piercing break the skin and may cause bleeding. They cause open wounds and infection is possible. Infections at the site may cause permanent deformity, scarring, severe illness and even death. Skin infected with resistant organisms such as methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) can be life-threatening.

Tattoos are also painful. Very much so. I have a very high pain threshold and I still thought it was painful.

Secondly, what do you do for a living? As much as we should not judge people by how they look, we do. It might hold back your career and even affect how other people treat you.

Thirdly, are you just doing it to be rebellious? Because tattoos are not rebellious anymore. Everyone has them; even Felicity Kendall and my aunt. That is when you know the game is over.

Fourthly, do you really want it for life? Have a very serious think about that. Removal is expensive, as you can see from the information below. Make absolute sure it is what you want, and NEVER get someones name tattooed on you. You will regret it.

THINKING OF HAVING A CHERYL COLE ROSE BUM TATTOO? LIVE TO REGRET IT AND REMOVAL WILL COST YOU £12,000

·      Rapper Lil Wayne would have to spend £105k and 173 hours to get rid of all his tattoos

·      David Beckham would have to spend £38k and 71 hours to be ink-free

·      One Direction’s Harry Styles would need to fork out £11k to remove his tattoos

·      68% increase in Brits enquiring about tattoo removal in the past year

If you’re thinking of copying Cheryl Cole and having a rose bum tattoo, bear in mind that it could cost £12,000 and 20 hours of laser sessions to have Cole’s latest inking removed, according to new research carried out by private healthcare search engine WhatClinic.com.

They have analysed the body art of 10 of the most tattooed celebrities and worked out how much it would cost to have it all removed. The research shows that, should they ever regret their decision to go under the needle, these celebs could end up paying tens of thousands of pounds to be tattoo free.

Top of the league table of inked-up celebrities is U.S. rapper Lil Wayne, who would need more than 500 sessions totaling 173 hours with a tattoo-removal specialist to erase all his artwork – at a mind-boggling cost of almost £105,000. That’s enough to buy a top-of-the-range Porsche or double the average deposit on a property put down by a first-time buyer in the UK last year.

David Beckham’s body is not just a temple, it is also adorned with tattoos from top to bottom, meaning a staggering bill of almost £40,000 – and the equivalent of 48 football matches in time under the needle – to be tattoo free again. And One Direction star Harry Styles may be just 19-years-old, but he’s already an avid lover of body artwork. And the cost to have them removed? Almost £11,000.

While the colossal cost may not be eye-watering for celebrities, for the millions of Brits who have and love tattoos, wiping the slate clean is likely to put a strain on their finances and in many cases may be unaffordable.

There has been a 68% increase in the number of people enquiring about tattoo removal in the past 12 months alone, with the cost of removing a small, black and white tattoo starting at £400. That fits with market research showing that significant numbers of people end up regretting their tattoos – a recent poll by Harris Research showed that almost a fifth (19%) of Britons with tattoos regretted having them done.

The following table, based on average costs provided by three tattoo-removal specialists, estimates how many laser sessions and total cost for some of the most famous tattooed celebrities to have all their tattoos removed:

 

Celebrity

Number of sittings required

Total number of hours

Total cost

Lil Wayne

520

173

£104,720

David Beckham

212

71

£37,920

Jodie Marsh

218

73

£30,820

Cheryl Cole

104

35

£14,740

Zayn Malik

140

47

£13,500

Rihanna

218

73

£13,120

Harry Styles

182

61

£10,940

Sarah Harding

57

19

£7,660

Tulisa

66

22

£5,480

Cara Delevigne

56

19

£4,480

 

Wayne Tatzapa, founder of tattoo removal specialist, Discardead, comments: “Despite tattoo removal being an exact science there are many variables that can determine the number of sessions required to remove all trace of the tattoo.

“The time needed to remove a tattoo varies according to the individual, as do the chances of wiping out any trace of it. Skin type, the tattoo’s location and colour, scarring and the degree of density all make a difference.

“Many people don’t realise that removing tattoos can take months or even years, because laser sessions should be at least six weeks to three months apart to get the best results and minimise the risk of scarring and other side effects.”

Do you have a tattoo? Do you regret it?

Homeland Season Three Preview: Spoilers

Homeland Season Three, preview, review, spoilers, homelandHomeland is back. we are very excited. Here is the breakdown of the first episode.

Agent Peter Quinn makes a bomb in a basement, topless.

The Brody family have had a tough time, receiving death threats and bricks through their window. The FBI is following them and the media is hounding them. Dana comes home after a suicide attempt. She has a new boyfriend she met in rehab. She seems to be on the mend and sends a semi-nude picture to her new boyfriend. Her grandmother is also there, trying to help out the family. They eat together and have quality family time. Jessica finds it hard to deal with her daughters attempted suicide and has had to get a job as they have no money coming in

Carrie is off her meds and taking the brunt of the anger along with the rest of the CIA. They have not cleared up the bomb sight ‘because they are punishing us’. The CIA need a win badly and Saul, now in charge, already has a mission in place to take out a number of targets. They succeed in their mission, assassinating a number of bad guys. Agent Quinn was at the forefront of the mission and is upset when a child gets killed.

Carrie is in front of a committee, who are particularly harsh. The CIA are being blamed and the committee are digging for dirt and want to make the CIA pay for their mistakes. To compensate for being off her meds Carrie is drinking, picking up men and seems to be her own worst enemy. After a piece is leaked about her to the media- which doesn’t name her so her operatives are not harmed- she has a run in with Saul in a restaurant, causes a scene and tells them all ‘f**k you’. The newspaper piece is about her sexual relationship with Brody.

At a committee Saul talks about their success at their being ‘a little less evil in the world today’. The committee is still not happy and mentions the Carrie article. Saul, after a pause, confirms that, although the information is flawed, the operative in question was erratic and hide her bi-polar disorder from the agency for ten years. He then says that he never knew about the sexual relationship between Carrie and Agent Brody. Carrie watches on TV, devastated and in disbelief.

Spamalot Review – starring Les Dennis and Warwick Davis

win tickets to see spamalot, win, competition,

As a huge fan of the Monty Python films, I was delighted to be able to review the latest version of Eric Idle’s Spamalot. The successful stage version of the film ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’.

In this version Les Dennis stared as King Arthur, Warwick Davis plays his horse Patsy and Bonnie Langford is the Lady of the Lake. It didn’t quite live up to my high expectations but it was still a great night out. The play steals a lot of the great lines and scenes from the original film and these were as funny as ever.

The songs, dancing and choreography are all fantastic and come across even better on stage. But the show sometimes felt too much like a pantomime. I expected this to be the case to some extent but it went too far. The fourth wall was broken too many times.

I wasn’t a fan of Dennis’s portrayal of Arthur. The character felt unnecessarily dumbed down and his performance was a bit unrealistic. One of the great jokes of the film is that nobody obeys King Arthur and he’s frequently left frustrated and outwitted much to the audiences delight. King Arthur’s exasperation and annoyance didn’t quite come across as well on the stage and therefore wasn’t as satisfying for the audience.

On the plus side Warwick Davis was excellent and very funny as Patsy and Bonnie Langford was good as the self-centered Lady of the Lake. I felt Arthur’s knights lacked a strong enough identity.

Overall the play was fun and you’ll have a good night out particularly if you never saw the original film

3/5

Spamalot is on at the Playhouse theatre until February 2014

http://www.spamalotwestend.co.uk/home

ATG Tickets- 0844 871 7631

 

Katie Melua’s Charting Success

Katie Melua’s sixth studio album Ketevan has entered the UK album charts at number 6. Katie joins a small group of female artists, which includes Madonna and Kate Bush, who have scored 6 consecutive UK top 10 studio albums.

Katie_Melua releases new album 

Katie signed to independent label Dramatico when she was still studying at the Brit School and released her first album ‘Call Off The Search’ in 2003. The first single, ‘The Closest Thing To Crazy’, launched the 18 year old to a British audience and the album went to number 1. Her following album ‘Piece By Piece’ entered the UK charts at number 1 and its lead track ‘Nine Million Bicycles’ introduced Katie to a global audience and she became the best-selling British female artist throughout the world. Katie’s subsequent albums, ‘Pictures’, ‘The House’ and 2012’s ‘Secret Symphony’ entered the UK charts at numbers 2, 4 and 8 respectively. Katie is now one of Britain’s most successful recording artists of the millennium selling more than 11 million albums, 1 million concert tickets and receiving 56 platinum awards.

 

Katie will be performing a 10th anniversary concert at London’s Roundhouse on October 2nd.

Rubylux pay homage to Usain Bolt with cover of ‘Lightning Bolt’ on BBC Radio 2

Brighton-based four-piece Rubylux, known for their guerrilla gigs across the UK, are about to take their surging melodic rock to the next level. As anthemic and dynamic as rock but with the commercial and catchy appeal of the best pop, the music on their second album ‘The World Goes Quiet’ has the accomplished, assured quality of a Premier Division band.Rubylux with Usain Bolt

Rubylux performed on Chris Evans Breakfast Show on BBC Radio 2 Friday morning, other guests on the show included Usian Bolt and Helen Skelton. In homage to Usain Bolt the band did a cover of Jake Bugg’s ‘Lightning Bolt’ working Chris Evans and Bolt into the lyrics, along with two acoustic versions of tracks from the new album ‘The World Goes Quiet’, which is released today.

Rubylux have recently been announced as the Music Ambassadors for Soccerex – joining some big names in football such as Michael Owen and Neymar – the band are the company’s first musicians to take on the role. They will travel to Rio later this year to perform at their Global Football Festival on Copacabana beach, as well as performing at Soccerex’s other famous social evening events in which football’s most senior decision makers attend.

Singer and guitarist Rob Irving, bassist Clark Coslett-Hughes, keyboard player Adam Harris and drummer Mike Hall have seen a ground swell of support since the release of their first single earlier this year. Facebook fans rocketed by 250% to over 25,000, a number which is still rising daily. Having already received recognition from the likes of The Who’s Roger Daltrey and Led Zeplin’s Jimmy Page at Brighton Music Awards, this summer at Kendal Calling Seasick Steve caught Rubylux’s performance and later, during his own set, name checked the band as the ones to watch this year.

Now, Rubylux are poised to go global with ‘The World Goes Quiet’, featuring 12 tracks of rousing, infectious, big-chorused pop-rock, appealing to fans of bands such as Snow Patrol, OneRepublic and The Script.

It is a showcase for Rob Irving’s husky rasp and the band’s keen grasp of dynamics, the players matching the lyrics’ sense of drama with energy to spare. Subject matter ranges from the title track’s exploration of how artists deal with success to the struggle to sustain love in a relationship as examined in ‘The Black Sun Needs Sparks’, a lighters-aloft, strings-enhanced would-be stadium ballad to slot next to Foreigner’s ‘Waiting For A Girl Like You’. Throughout, love is viewed as turbulent, and the language used to express this is suitably rich, chiming perfectly with the powerful yet accessible music.

Variously inspired by The Beatles, Leonard Cohen and philosopher Eckhart Tolle, the songs on The World Goes Quiet are classic pop-rock, using melody and honed, harmonic noise as the Trojan horse to sneak in advanced ideas about life and love.

The album was recorded in three studios, in Arundel, London and North Wales, aided by mixer Russ Hayes. Rob essayed draft versions of tracks on guitar or piano before taking them to the others for developing and finessing. He compares their modus operandi to that of The Killers, and emphasises their attention to detail. “We follow the whole process right to the end, all of us living at the studio until it’s finished,” he explains. “It’s a process that has evolved within the band and really works for us now. It’s so exciting to watch it all come together at the end. We took the time to get every part the way we wanted it, meticulously carving it into an album that we’re proud of.”

“We gave everything on this album the time and attention it deserved,” concurs Clark. “We tried to achieve the perfect balance on the songs and sounds from epic to chilled, which we like to put across in our live shows – it’s all in there. So I am confident that the album represents the band through and through.”

Mike is delighted with the end results. “We wanted to make an album where people could fall in love with every single song, and hopefully that’s exactly what we’ve done,” he says. “For me, each track has something special about it, whether it’s the string arrangements we wrote in the mountains of North Wales for Sound Of Light, or Rob’s guitar solos we recorded in his bedroom, Ad’s synth solo on I Don’t Want Paradise or Clark’s bassline on Love Without A Cause. Each part of each song has a story behind it. I can’t stop listening to it, and I’m hoping other people won’t be able to either!”

Concludes Adam: “From the day Rubylux got together our aim was to make the kind of record that we would all like to listen to, to try and compete with the biggest bands in the world – to play as well as they play and make the kind of music that touches people in the same way they do. With this album I think we have begun to achieve that.”

Rubylux recently performed at Rockness, Kendal Calling, Chris Evan’s Carfest, Lodestar Festival – playing the main stage on August 31st and Feastival. Please check their website www.rubylux.net for details of forthcoming live shows.

Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde | Theatre Review

Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde, theatre, theatre review, west endAs I entered the Leicester Square Theatre to review the West End Premiere of Brother Wolf’s new award-winning one-man show, ‘Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde’, ahead of its nationwide tour I remembered that the story was a horror. I then noticed their were children in the audience so I thought it would not be scary, how wrong was I. Impressively adapted, produced and performed by James Hyland, Hyland is a one man tour de force. He is great as Dr Jekyll and his evil side, Mr Hyde. This play is worth seeing for his performance alone.

Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde is not easy viewing. In fact, people even screamed in the audience. It is gruesome, scary and at some points downright uncomfortable, but it is a great piece of theatre. It shows what can be done with a one man show.The tale is an old, classic one and most people know of it and how it ends. This does not ruin the show though, Hyland playing the many characters does so with believability, talent and truthfulness. It is just Hyland and a podium on the stage but he manages to carry the entire show with ease.

As I mentioned before, there were children in the audience. I would not recommend this show for a child. I was quite uneasy at points and my companion thought it was scary.

Scary it may be but it is also brilliant and James Hyland is a superb actor. Go and see.

Based on the novella by Robert Louis Stevenson
Presented in association with Harrogate Theatre
Adapted, Produced and Performed by James Hyland
Directed by Phil Lowe

Leicester Square Theatre

6 Leicester Place, London, WC2H 7BX

08448 733 433 www.leicestersquaretheatre.com

 

Please visit the following website for more information on the production company: www.jameshyland.co.uk/brotherwolf

 

Celebrities Take It All Off For BBC Children In Need

Along with a host of internationally renowned celebrities, BBC Children in Need has launched this year’s BearFaced Day. Together, they are asking women across the UK to join them in going BearFaced for BBC Children in Need on Friday 8th November, the campaign simply asks for women to spend a day without makeup and pop on a Post Office Pawprint instead.
The stellar line-up includes TV favourites Laura Whitmore, Arlene Philips and Alex Jones, outstanding actress Sheridan Smith, sensational singer Kimberley Walsh, model and actress Suki Waterhouse and talented artist Jo Wood. All have gone BearFaced in a make-up free photo-shoot by world renowned photographer, Rankin, to encourage women across the UK to unite to do the same.

AlexJones- STRICTLY EMBARGOED TILL TUESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER ArlenePhillips-STRICTLY EMBARGOED TILL TUESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER Jo Wood-STRICTLY EMBARGOED TILL TUESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER Kimberley Walsh LauraWhitmore SheridanSmith- STRICTLY EMBARGOED TILL TUESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER SukiWaterhouse

 

Laura Whitmore said: “Join me and hundreds of other women, who are going BearFaced, let’s raise lots of money for children all over the UK, who need your help.”

Kimberley Walsh said: “BBC Children in Need’s BearFaced Day campaign is such a brilliant way to raise money; will you be joining me this Friday 8th November?”

 

Sheridan Smith said: “Pop a Pudsey Pawprint on instead of your makeup this Friday 8th November to help make a difference to young lives across the UK; every penny raised really will help!”

 

Alex Jones said: “There are so many children and young people across the UK who need our help, so how could I say no to the BBC Children in Need BearFaced campaign? Join me and hundreds of other women going Bearfaced November 8th.”

 

Arlene Philips said: “Come on ladies, join me in going BearFaced on Friday 8th November to help raise lots of money for BBC Children in Need.”

 

Jo Wood said: “I’m so excited to be taking part in BBC Children in Need’s BearFaced campaign this year! I hope that women across the UK will leave the make up at home for the day to help change the lives of children who really do need our help!”

 

Going BearFaced is a simple way to raise money for BBC Children in Need. Women can either participate alone or set up a Bearfaced team with friends, family and colleagues to make the day more fun.

 

The Pawprints as seen on the BearFaced lineup are available now at Post Offices across the UK.  Women are encouraged to swap their makeup for a Post Office Pawprint to help make a difference to young lives.

 

Find out more at bbc.co.uk/pudsey and prepare a sponsorship page at mydonate.bt.com/events/gobearfaced.

 

Will you be going Barefaced?