Le Fear II: Le Sequel Review By Jason Croot

After reading BFI advice on writing a review of your own film I thought why not!

Le Fear II- Le Sequel Review By Jason Croot

Le Fear II: Le Sequel is a 90 minute 100% improvised feature film about the making of a film. Based in London U.K it follows the journey of hapless 22 times film director Carlos Revalos [Kyri Saphirs] who is about to embark on his biggest movie yet Le Fear II: Le Sequel a film noir horror love story. Carlos’s journey starts with a meeting with the shrewd movie executive Dirk Heinz [Andrew Tiernan] who agrees to back Carlos’s film as long as Revalos puts up some of his own cash as collateral, one other condition is that Carlos intertwines his movie with Nollywood  [Nigeria] the fastest growing film industry in the world. Dirks Secretary Helga [Shona McWilliams]does the paperwork and the deal is done commence the movie.

Le Fear II: Le Sequel Review , Catherine Balavage. actress, Scottish actress, actor, British, actor, Scottish,  Jason Croot

The world’s worst director Carlos Revalos meets the world’s worst film producer Efi womonbogo [Seye Adelekan] the clash of the titans or rather the clash of the tits, because these guys each are as clueless as the other about filmmaking. Efi has his entourage, Africa special effects [Roxy Sternberg], Femu [Schee Bell] the runner and Witch Dr Charles [Sean Earl McPherson] none of which really have a clue what to do. Carlos has his film crew Jacques the French cinema photographer, [Hadien Mekki], Jessie [Leila Reid], the production assistant Chafarafa the Script Supervisor [Jay Croot] Berwyn [Catherine Balavage] the stunt coordinator and Queenie [Victoria Hopkins] the Makeup artist. Hollywood meets Nollywood this is where the fun begins, and Conflict time! Everything Carlos wants, romance, film noir and horror is not delivered by Efi who has a different take on it with his motley crew. Africa the vibrant special effects girl, who apparently worked on big movies, Efi Tells Carlos “Avatar and Pride and plagiarist”. Africa brings Carlos nothing but cheap sci-fi effects which she believes is the best thing since sliced bread. That’s the problem with the Nollywood guys they believe their shit is good shit, and Carlos the man who has his own money on the line £500000, is in deep lumber. Bring on the Piece de résistance the actors within the film. We have the fiery French actress Racquel [Denise Moreno] and the green drama school first time film actor Oliver[Jack W. Carter] they cause poor Revalos’s pain to deepen not only is he combating of a motley crew from Nollywood he has disgruntled actors to please now can it get any worse? YES. The film set is not a beautiful purposed built location but a make shift set the input of Efi, “I wanted to make a film noir not a camping film” Jacques tells Carlos. The plot thickens and Carlos calls Dirk to sort out this rabble “Dirks going to have your arse” Carlos tells Efi who replies “My ass is he gay?” Dirk arrives and puts Carlos straight, the movie continues we now bring in two other actors within the movie these hired by Efi Vanessa [Vampire] Eleanor James Dr Strange [Julian Lamoral Roberts] Bmovie actor, Vanessa drives Berwyn the stunt coordinator barmy and proceeds to act more like a L’Oreal shampoo advert than scare people. We also have a student filmmaker Mickey [Warren Taylor] who is filming behind the scenes of the film within the film.

Le Fear II- Le Sequel

The night scenes have to be the most classic and funniest ones we have Witch doctors, Lesbian Vampires, Alien Explosions and a very angry actress “SUSHI DE MERDE Carlos you are a piece of shit little man! I’m going back to Paris right now” Carlos now one actress short of a picnic or rather of making his worst movie, and now without a location when disgruntled land owner Tom Dickinson[Ian Cullen] arrives and kicks them off “my land what are you doing in my land are you filming one of those pornographic films?” Efi replies “I swear on my father’s grave and my mother’s goat”

Le Fear II: Le Sequel will go down in history if Carlos can manage to complete it won’t be the classic he longed for but his worst yet. Bring on a new actress Racquel replacement Lucy Lou [Aiko Horiuchi] a Japanese actress brought in by Efi she joins the madness. “Can we use it?” Carlos asks Jacques about the new location, “Yes but I don’t want my name on that movie” Jacques replies “At this stage fuck your name” Carlos tells him the film gets more crazier and continues to deliver humour right until the end.

Summary Comedy is complex some people laugh at Dad’s Army, Fawlty Towers and Porridge all classic British Comedies others won’t get the humour of those classics! some will love Flight of the conchords and Curb your enthusiasm and others won’t, you can’t make everyone laugh no matter how good the comedy is, Le Fear II: Le Sequel has already made a few people smile and laugh and we hope to continue to do so, I’m not going to say we created the best film within film the world but we have made a film that me and the producers are very proud of we are proud of the cast and how hard they worked to create the humour the crew and how hard they worked to get the camera lighting and sound to be as good as it is the editor who has done a great job and the musicians who have supplied us with a great soundtrack.

 

I will leave you with some other funny lines from the film Le Fear II: Le Sequel

Cast Lines

Carlos Revalos [Kyri Saphiris]

“They Buy a bloody blow up doll, stick some sparklers up its arse, and call it special effects of a high budget production”

Dirk Heinz [Andrew Tiernan]

“You’ve got a fucking film to make, so pull it out of the bag”

Lucy Lou [Aiko Horiuchi]

“My English is very little”

Jacques [Hadrien Mekki]

“You’re just crazy fucking English people who want to drink tea; I just want to make a good film”

Racquel [Denise Moreno]

“If we die what happens? Because I don’t feel I’m going to come out this film alive”

Africa [Roxy Sternberg]

“It’s beyond Hollywood, Nollywood, Woody Allen my gosh we have it”

Dr Strange [Julian Lamoral Roberts]

“If Crossed I get cross if cross I need Blood”

Jessie [Leila Reid]

“Can you teach Carlos to keep the fire inside of him”

Vanessa [Eleanor James]

“I’m a professional actress I have been in god knows how many movies”

Queenie [Victoria Hopkins]

“Do you like it wet? I bet you do I bet you like it real moist Don’t you?”

Berwyn [Catherine Balavage]

“Oh I’m swishing my hair like I’m in a 1970’s fucking porn film”

Witch Dr. Charles [Sean McPherson]

“Ring Nigerian now £5, no problem”

 

Twitter https://twitter.com/Lefear2lesequel @lefear2lesequel

Facebook Like Page https://www.facebook.com/Lesequel

Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/163431550389968/
IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1982759/

 

[Editorial note: Frost Magazine founder and owner Catherine Balavage played Berwyn in Le Fear, Le Sequel]

 

 

 

The Torn Images Reviver | Music News

Band/Artist: The Torn Images
Location: Fountain Valley, California
Styles: alternative rock, indie rock
Similar to/RIYL: Blur, Pixies, Nirvana, Coldplay, Blur, Muse
CD: Reviver

thetornimagesMembers/Instruments:
Briand Arabaca (*aka The Torn Images) vocal/guitar
*A solo artist supported by indie artists in OC (Orange County, California).
Jonathan O’Brien – bass/guitar/keyboard/percussion (the producer in this project, member of indie rock band Workfriend))
Andy Hernandez – guitar (audio monitor/engineer of LA indie rockers Grouplove; past: work with Young The Giant)
Tyler De Young – drums

Production:
Produced/Mixed/Engineerd by Jonathan O’Brien at The Music Box Studios in Irvine, California for the whole month of August 2014 (1st – 27th). Mastered by Michael Fossenkemper at TurtleTone Studio in Manhattan, New York for the whole month of October (1st – 22nd).

Tracklisting:
1. The Drifting
2. Mantle of Disguise
3. Out of Control (Into The Void)
4. Nearly Lost You
5. Life On A Standstill
6. Aimless Breath
7. Blind Fascination
8. Never Be The Same Again
9. The Elusive Vagabond
10. World of Meaning

Bio:

“Plays rock music that is catchy, moody, and edgy. In an unexpected moment of non-conformity, it gets loud, and proud!”

The Torn Images is an indie/alternative rock duo formed in early May 2012 in Fountain Valley, California. The group consisted of singer/songwriter Briand Arabaca (vocals / guitar) and Jayson Thompson (drums). The band’s influences ranged from alternative rock, British romantic movement (80’s new wave)/ mod revival, and indie folk rock.

The collaboration with OCMA (Orange County Music Awards) 2013 nominated producer Jonathan O’Brien and live sound engineer/ drummer Tyler De Young on Oct. 2012 created a unique sonic vision which is translated into a pure aural bliss.

The Torn Images released their first EP called The Dawning on March 2013. The delivery of such diverse palette of sound inherent on the band, is evidently heard on songs like: “The Sun and The Downfall”,”Path of Resolution”, and “Scent of Summer”.

The Dawning EP received critical praises from music press. A noted music critic/reviewer Alexa Spieler reviewed, ” The Torn Images provide listeners with insight into what the band is made of and the potential the band possesses. Though aspects aren’t entirely perfected, The Torn Images display that they aren’t following restrictions and don’t intend on following one-set path. Rather, the band intends to expand their musical horizons and to explore different materials, while remaining true to their musicality and artistry. An insanely connective, musically unique, and captivating release, The Dawning – EP is a strong, solid foundation for The Torn Images to unleash into the world.” A journalist and freelance writer from Knoxville, TN named Alec Cunningham of BLANK newspaper wrote, “All things considered, The Dawning manages to maintain a retro vibe about it while also sustaining a distinct diversity. They do this by transcending both multiple genres as well as multiple eras with their sound, allowing their fan base to extend through various genres and age groups also.”

On May 2013, drummer Jayson Thompson officially left the band and moved to San Diego for personal reasons. This prompted Briand Arabaca with a strong resolve, to continue that musical vision and aspiration. The Torn Images became his alter-ego.

On June 2013, Briand Arabaca collaborated again with Jonathan O’Brien as the producer, and together with Tyler De Young as the drummer. The first phase of the new recordings commenced at The Music Box Studios (Tustin, California).

On Nov. 14, 2013, the second EP of The Torn Images entitled “Bound for The Morning Sun” was released, and gained more recognition from music fans around the globe with the singles, “Back To You”, and “Come Alive”.

The Torn Images is back to the studio again in August 2014 for a first full length album recording with producer Jonathan O’Brien (who recently won the OC Music Awards 2014 “Best Producer”). The avant-garde drummer Tyler De Young will join in together with multi-instrumentalist Andy Hernandez (currently the monitor engineer of Grouplove).

On Nov. 19 2014, The Torn Images just released a full length album called “Reviver”.

 

 

Inaugural Kobo Book Report Reveals Top eReading Trends from 2014

gone_girl_ver2_xlgAll readers of Frost Magazine know that we love books. Supporting authors and sharing what we loved to read is very important to us. So we found the Inaugural Kobo Book Report Reveals Top eReading Trends from 2014 very interesting indeed. Gone Girl and The Fault in Our Stars are no surprises but there are a few others that we must put on our reading list from kobo.com

It’s been an exciting year in the world of publishing, and kobo’s inaugural Book Report reveals insightful 2014 eReading trends from its world-class platform, which includes a bookstore of more than 4.2 million titles.

 

“Overall, the eBook market makes up about $14.5 billion in sales globally and is expected to reach more than $22 billion by 2017,” said Michael Tamblyn, President and Chief Content Officer, Kobo.  “The advances that we’re seeing year-over-year are incredible, with more publishers, users and authors changing the face of the industry at an unprecedented pace.”

 

“This year, we wanted to look beyond the bestseller. A book’s position on the bestseller list may indicate it’s bought, but that isn’t the same as it being read or finished,” said Tamblyn. “A lot of readers have multiple novels on the go at any given time, which means they may not always read one book from start to finish before jumping into the next great story. People may wait days, months, or even until the following year to finish certain titles. And many exercise that inalienable reader’s right to set down a book if it doesn’t hold their interest.”

 

The typical bestseller list often looks very different when you compare books purchased versus books read cover to cover. In fact, the most completed book doesn’t even feature on the UK Bestseller List (as seen below); Rotten to The Core by Casey Kelleher was the most completed book in the UK, with 83% of people reading it cover to cover. Whereas, the number one bestselling ebook in the UK, One Cold Night by Latia Lief was only completed by 69% of those who read it.  Although James Patterson’s books do not feature on the Top Ten Most Completed Books of 2014 list, overall James Patterson was the most completed author in the UK for his entire portfolio of books.

 

Kobo Book Report’s UK Bestseller List – ebookshelf must haves 

  1. One Cold Night – Katia Lief
  2. Gone Again – Doug Johnstone
  3. Gone Girl  – Gillian Flynn
  4. The Fault in Our Stars – John Green
  5. My Sister’s Keeper  – Bill Benners
  6. The Husband’s Secret – Liane Moriarty
  7. The Cuckoo’s Calling – Robert Galbraith
  8. Her Last Letter – Nancy C. Johnson
  9. Twelve Years a Slave – Solomon Northup
  10. Bloody Valentine – James Patterson

 

 

UK’s TOP PAGE-TURNERS – The Most Completed Books of 2014

  1. Rotten to the Core – Casey Kelleher
  2. The Tycoon’s Vacation – Melody Anne
  3. The Traitor – Kimberley Chambers
  4. Concealed in Death – J. D. Robb
  5. Wrongful Death – Lynda La Plante
  6. All Revved Up – Sylvia Day
  7. Present Danger – Stella Rimington
  8. The Empty Cradle – Rosie Goodwin
  9. The Witness – Nora Roberts
  10. The Promise (Fallen Star Series, Book 4) – Jessica Sorensen

 

Homegrown British Talent
As the book world becomes ever more international, British readers continue to love British writers, with a remarkable one third of the Kobo UK’s Top 100 Bestseller’s books written by British authors. Lee Child features heavily, with Not a Drill (A Jack Reacher short story), James Penney’s New Identity/Guy Walks Into a Bar (Storycuts), Killing Floor: (Jack Reacher 1), and Deep Down (A Jack Reacher short story) all featuring in the Top 100 Bestseller’s list. Fiona Gibson also featured twice with Take Mum Out, and The Great Escape. Other notable homegrown talent includes J.K Rowling (and her pseudonym Robert Galbraith), Helen Fielding – Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, Kate Atkinson- Life After Life and E.L. James – Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

Different authors also show up in the UK’s Most Completed list, with 14 of the top 100 books being written by British authors. These include Adele Parks – The State We’re In, three books by Carole Matthews (A Place to Call Home, Summer Daydreams, A Cottage by the Sea), Jessie Keane – Ruthless, and Judy Finnigan – Eloise.

 

Beating the January Blues
Not surprisingly, self-improvement books, including cookbooks, health, and self-help books are more popular during the month of January than at any other time of year. More self-improvement books and books overall were downloaded in January than any other month, likely to kick-off some New Year’s resolutions.

 

It seems that Monday is the most popular day of the week to complete a book in the UK (16%), with Friday being the least popular day, with only 13% of book completed at the end of the week.

 

Opening up the Nightstand Drawer
Overall, Brits find Romance to be the most engaging genre, with 62 per cent completion, followed by Crime & Thriller (61 per cent) and Fantasy (60 per cent).  Romance is also the most engaging genre in Italy (74 per cent), the Netherlands (67 per cent) and Canada (62 per cent), while the French (70 per cent), Australians and New Zealanders (64 per cent), and Americans (44 per cent) prefer a good Mystery.

 

Business and celebrity-focused books also enjoyed popularity in the UK in 2014. Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt by Michael Lewis came out as the top seller perhaps due to his literary status of being the most famous non-fiction writer working today. While reality TV Geordie Shore’s Vicky Pattison’s I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, David Walliams Camp David, and Lynda Bellingham’s heartbreaking memoir There’s Something I’ve Been Dying to Tell You, came top of the most completed celebrity biographies.

 

From the eScreen to the Big Screen
Several books made their big-screen debut late in 2013 and into 2014, including Twelve Years a SlaveThe Best of Me, and Gone Girl.  The release of Gone Girl on the 3rd of October in the UK this year certainly created a ripple effect which transferred into book sales. Over a three month period, 34% of book sales took place in the week prior and the week after the film release.

 

Kids Love Kobo
Kids are going digital! Children’s eBooks, including picture books, children’s and young adult novels are gaining traction as parents are realising the appeal of eReaders for a tech-savvy generation.   Children’s titles, available at the Kobo Kids’ Store offering 100,000 titles, made up more than 6 per cent of Kobo’s overall 2014 book sales. This kid-friendly browsing experience even lets parents set up reading allowances so that kids have the freedom to select their own eBooks without needing access to a credit card.

 

And top kids’ picks for 2014? The younger generation is definitely in-the-know when it comes to new releases, so it was no surprise to see three of the most anticipated 2014 titles topping kids’ wish lists this year. The Dairy of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul by Jeff Kinney led the pack followed by Gangsta Granny by David Walliams and The Iron Trial by Holly Black.

 

The new 6.8-inch HD Kobo Aura H2O is available in black and retails for £139.99 online at kobo.com and in-store in the UK.

 

 

 

‘The UK must not abandon Afghan women to the Taliban’ Olivia Colman

Olivia ColmanThe UK must not abandon Afghan women, actress Olivia Colman warned after featuring in documentary which explores the dangers women face while undertaking ordinary jobs there.

A BBC documentary, Speaking Out, Losing Lives,  on Radio Four explored the extraordinary risks women in Afghanistan face. Award-winning BBC correspondent Lyse Doucette has travelled to the country to talk to women and girls about the future of their country, at a time when security is deteriorating following the departure of foreign troops from the country.

The programme, produced with Amnesty International, features the stories of three women: a gynaecologist, the head teacher of a girls’ school and a women’s rights political advocate. Originally conceived as a performance of a play based on their testimony, Even If We Lose our Lives, commissioned by Amnesty, the programme now features extracts from the play but not interviews with the real women on whom it’s based as two of them have recently been forced into hiding due to renewed security threats.

Actress Olivia Colman voices the women’s stories. She said:

“Being a teacher, a doctor, a politician – these are important jobs but they shouldn’t be dangerous ones.

“The brave women whose words I’ve voiced risk so much to educate, to care and to shape the future of their country. Women like these are the hope for Afghanistan’s future and the UK must not abandon them to the Taliban now.

“It’s an honour to read these brave women’s words.”

Last week, to coincide with the London Conference on Afghanistan, a coalition of charities and aid organisations, the British and Irish Agencies Afghanistan (BAAG), released survey results showing that aid workers and rights campaigners in Afghanistan feel dramatically less safe than a year ago.

Sixty percent of the Afghans who responded reported that they felt less safe in their work during the past year, with half of survey respondents stating that either they, or their colleagues, have suffered intimidation or death threats during that time.

Amnesty has been running an “Occupational Hazards” campaign over the last year, drawing attention to the dangers women in work face in Afghanistan. Further details are available at www.amnesty.org.uk/afghanistan

Aston Martin ‘In Motion’ Event … Aston Martin Celebrates 50 Years Of Bond

Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014

Thursday 4th December saw Aston Martin together with EON Productions, the producers of the James Bond film franchise, unveil Bond’s stunning new car, the Aston Martin DB10, on the 007 stage at Pinewood Studios. The luxury British sports car brand was delighted to confirm that James Bond will once again drive an Aston Martin in Spectre. Celebrating the great British brand’s half century with Bond, which started with the iconic DB5, the DB10 gives a glimpse into the future design direction for the next generation of Aston Martins.

Dr Andy Palmer, CEO of Aston Martin, said: “In the same year that we celebrate our 50-year relationship with 007, it seems doubly fitting that today we unveiled this wonderful new sports car created especially for James Bond.

Following on from this, this evening’s event saw celebrities and friends of the brand gather together to celebrate 50 years of Bond.

Hosted at the London Film Museum in Covent Garden, guests enjoyed Louis Roederer Champagne and cocktails. Aston Martin’s newly appointed CEO Andy Palmer was thrilled to hear that “DB10” was trending the top 10 UK twitter feed today following today’s Bond Spectre announcement with the HQ phones ringing off the hook with people from across the globe looking to buy one of the not for sale limited editions.

Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014  Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014   Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014

On the night, guests had the opportunity to view some of the exclusive installations that feature within The London Film Museum’s 50 Years of Bond exhibition, including the legendary Aston Martin DB5.

Amber Nuttall was seen talking to Kelly Hoppen about their past experience of Aston Martin, whilst Grantchester’s James Norton was the eye of all the ladies at the party, heard saying ‘a dog-collar’ does wonders for the love life!

Camilla Rutherford and husband Dominic were also seen waxing-lyrical about their amazing journey to the party in an Aston Martin Rapide, comparing notes with Amber Le Bon who dazzled in a light blue gown before hitting the decks.

Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014

VIP attendees included: Aston Martin CEO Andy Palmer, Amber Le Bon, Camilla Rutherford, Ozwald Boateng, Amber Nuttall, Kelly Hoppen, Alistair Guy, Barbara Broccoli, Diarmaid Murtagh, James Norton, Roxie Nafousi and Pips Taylor.

Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014

The VIP guests were treated to a sumptuous cocktail buffet which included mini beef burgers, grilled sea bass with lemon puree and parsley oil, tuna tartare with yuzu and soy pearls in sesame cone, parmesan taco with creamed goats cheese and rhubarb jam, charcoal wafer with truffled brie, quince jelly and candied orange, blackened salmon with Asian slaw, iron bark pumpkin tortellini, walnut pesto and parmesan crisp and assorted Macaron de Paris, accompanied by Louis Roederer Champagne.

Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014 Aston Martin 'In Motion' Event, London, Britain - 04 Dec 2014

 

HardlyEverWornIt.com’s Variety Fundraising Party hosted by Harold Tillman

On 27th November 2014, Hardlyeverwornit.com created a glamorous grotto at Cafe Royal, to celebrate their Christmas charity auction to raise funds for Variety, the Children’s Charity.

The event featured a McLaren F1 simulator, real live penguins (on the terrace) a psychic medium and DJ spinning party tunes. Guests enjoyed champagne and canapés throughout the evening, while some indulged in shopping from Hardly’s Christmas Edit.

Most VIPs attendees brought a hardly-used designer/luxury accessory/fashion item to donate to the online auction, which goes live from 4th December, with all proceeds going to Variety, the Children’s Charity. Funds on the night were also raised through generous donations.

Guests included:

Chloe Green, Samantha Barks, Richard Fleeshman, Henry Holland,  Patrick Grant, Noelle Reno, Scot Young, Emily Berrington, Pandemonia, Henry Conway, Sir John Hegarty, Andy Goode…among many others.

Henry Conway Noelle Reno Pandemonia Scot Young and Noelle Reno Yuvna Kim and Harold Tillman Henry Holland Patrick Grant Chloe Green Samantha Banks and Richard Fleeshman Samantha Banks and Richard Fleeshman with the penguins

What was the best festival of 2014? Olivia Outram spills the Secret

SGP

The Secret Garden Party

So with the initial line up for 2015 released this week, I think it’s about time to gush a bit about my festival of last summer.

The Music
As the sun went down over the main stage on a balmy Saturday evening Sub Motion Orchestra revealed themselves as the standout performers of the festival for me. Theirs was the kind of bass that makes the earth, not shake, that wouldn’t be the right word, but sway in a luxurious, sensual manner. Ruby Wood’s ethereally jazzy vocals were the cherry on a quite delectably sexy cake. Clean Bandit have really upped their game since doing the festival rounds in 2013, commanding the main stage with tens of thousands of festival goers singing back their lyrics. And for the late night lovers, Sigma “absolutely smashed it” (as Cheryl Cole might say) in Temple of Boom post 3am. My only personal disappointment was standing pride of place on the top platform of the Collisillium, having elbowed hundreds of people out of the way, waiting for this year’s secret act to perform (Chase and Status again…) at the stroke of midnight – Only to be left waiting… and waiting… and waiting… Rumour has it they finally rocked up over two and a half hours late. Not. Cool.

The Locale
This really was the ultimate adult’s playground, whether you like it colourful, eerie, hard-core or filled with sunflowers, there was a playground for every personality. There was also the option of swimming in the lake, which might sound spontaneous but after you’d donned your sexiest swimsuit you were left standing in line for the best part of an hour waiting to be refreshed (or, let’s be honest, have a replacement bath). To be fair the excessive queue was no doubt due to the scorchingly hot weather we enjoyed at SGP this year (Sorry (not sorry) to all of you who pinned your festival hopes and dreams on Glastonbury but forewent your summer glow for trench foot). From secret tunnels, floating dance floors, winding forests and colossal stages to fields filled to the brim with 6 foot tall giant sunflowers hidden behind a secret portaloo door – the one thing we can all admit is the hills of Abbots Ripton are transformed into something truly magical, that even Alice in Wonderland would gawk at.

Local Wildlife
The clientele cannot go unmentioned. It seemed like this year’s festival had an unparalleled supply of beautiful people – everywhere you looked you saw another “genetic lottery winner”, as one companion commented. As ever, body paint, glitter and “quirky” headwear were all the rage. Meaning the usually bold and unique individual fizzled into the crowd. Those who really wanted to stand out, and there were quite a few, dispensed with the outfits altogether, some choosing to don only carefully applied body paint and a few of the most adventurous opting for just the glow of the summer sun and a dab of moisturiser. For the sake of their nipples, I sincerely hope one with SPF.

Inevitable Celebrity Sighting
This bit all depends on your definition of “celebrity”… you could feast your eyes on pretty much the entire cast of Made in Chelsea. Alex Mytton even made the sought-after headlines of Daily Mail Online with his episode of “exhaustion”. For the more refined celebrity oglers, his royal highness (absolutely no pun intended) Prince Harry graced us with his presence in full Secret Garden Party glittery glory with his face painted a smirf-tastic shade of ‘royal’ blue.

Transcendent-moment-where-everything-makes-sense
As the sun dipped behind the horizon on the Saturday evening, it was replaced by a spectacle of fiery colourful delight with the annual SGP fireworks extravaganza. I think you’d be hard pressed to find a Secret Gardener who didn’t suddenly think their drink had been spiked with the best type of acid, when a plane flying low rained giant bubbles over the entire festival’s heads. This, combined with the darting lasers piercing the wobbly, translucent globules made for a truly incredible vision. The whole of the main stage appeared to be covered in glittering fairy dust. Either that … or the drive to the festival from the station with the utterly charming former Police Constable Simon, now of ‘Steve’s Cars’. Simon you are an utter legend.

words by Olivia Outram

Staving Off Boredom During Winter

Winter can be a rather tedious, bleak time of the year; freezing cold winds and bitter rains mean that many will be trapped indoors throughout winter, unable to enjoy the pursuits they otherwise would be able to enjoy during the rest of the year. If you’re stuck inside, the prospect of boredom is always just around the corner, and if you just don’t know what to do with your time when the snow is blowing outside, here are a few fun things you can occupy yourself with until the spring thaw occurs!

winter in St Pauls

Reading is always a great way to spend the time during winter. Curling up in front of the fire whilst surrounded by blankets and pillows, indulging your bookish side, reading can be a heck of a lot of fun. Either get some ebooks via a device like Amazon’s Kindle, or make your way through those bookcases worth of paperbacks you purchased or were given but never had the time to read in the more pleasant months.

Cooking is also a safe way to beat back boredom, and will do wonders for your culinary prowess. Rustling up a hearty stew or casserole can be a heck of a lot of fun, and whilst recipes are often useful, it’s always nice to deviate slightly away from the prescribed cookery formula, putting your own flair on your favourite dish. What’s even better is that whilst you slave away over that hot stove, you’ll actually be warm!

With so many devices, smart phones, tablets and laptops around nowadays, games are a great way to spend a few hours. If you have a games console, think about getting an RPG game such as Skyrim; whilst it pours it down outside you can live the life of a fantasy hero for a few hours, exploring dungeons, fighting dragons and generally having a great time! Online games are also great fun; Casino.betway.com is a fun site that allows users to play classic casino games such as roulette, poker and blackjack. You’ll even have the chance to win a little money- great if you need a little extra cash over the Christmas period.

Perhaps not as exciting as video games, but just as engrossing, board games are a fun, traditional way to pass time throughout the snowy season. Pop into the loft and dust off those old copies of Risk, Scrabble, Monopoly and Pictionary, invite round some friends, crack open a bottle of something tasty and enjoy a lovely, chatty night in together!