Category Archives: Life & Style

You Don’t Have to Love Your Body, Just Don’t Hate it.

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pregnant, woman, pregnant woman, Catherine Balavage

Me when I was pregnant with my son.

It is fair to say that at some point most of us have had a complicated relationship with our body. Women in particular get a rough ride. The media constantly tells us we are not tall enough, thin enough or tanned enough. Yes, the body positive movement has happened, but it is being sold to us by the same people who made us feel crap about our bodies for decades, and do not get me started on how their tagline is usually about ‘real’ women. It is so condescending. There are no fake women. Airbrushing women within an inch of their lives, while those women were already over five foot ten and a size eight, does not make these women an ideal that ‘real’ women no longer have to aspire to because you are woke now.

The beauty industry is still trying to sell us cellulite creams. In 2019 I was still seeing articles on how to get rid of cellulite. It is truly shocking. Babies have cellulite, children have cellulite, even men have cellulite, but for some reason only women are told that it is somehow not normal and we have to spend our time and energy getting rid of it. God forbid we work on our brains instead of our thighs.

P.S: dimples are cute.

Yes, I rant a bit but I have my reasons. As a teenager I thought my body looked awful. All I saw was flaws. Now I am in my thirties and I think it truly is amazing. There are parts I am not keen on, the bits of fat that accumulate around my C section scar and are hard to shift, for example, but I refuse to hate it. My body has made two beautiful children and been through two very different births: one emergency C section and one VBAC. It has been pregnant four times but only has two children and it has endured two traumatic surgeries.

The last few years I have been the fittest I have ever been in between my pregnancies. I am at my lowest weight in ten years and I am proud when I manage to make healthy choices, and gentle on myself when I do not. It makes me sad when I think about how long it took me to love my body on my good days, and not hate it on my bad ones. When I was a teenager I was ill with glandular fever. I was bedridden for years and it took a lot of time to get healthy again. My education was affected and it is only now I am managing to find the time to rectify that. You would think it that was an important lesson but I spent my twenties working fourteen hour days, going to parties and over-exercising. Turns out you can not exist on canapés and champagne alone. My main food groups were pasta and cereal. It is embarrassing to think about now that I try to make sure I have at least five-a-day and that I do not exert my body to much.

What I am trying to say is that your body is amazing. YOU are amazing, and while you do not have to love every part of your body, do not hate it. It is a miracle.

Bob Hillary’s Simplify, is a simple book with a simple solution: Review by Mary Cooper

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And that solution is? Get back to nature.

The illustrations by Rosie Balyuzi dotted throughout the book, lead you through its meandering pages as Bob relates how he unhooked himself from the negative aspects of his life.

For two years he went off-grid into the Welsh mountains. Sometimes with no electricity, no phone, and miles from, what we call, civilisation.

He reconnected with nature.

Away from the paraphernalia of his old life, he found himself embracing the peacefulness of nature, and the silence of his mind and body.

Bob Hillary is a man of our times, probably ahead of our times as we try to catch up with what he has been advocating for years.

We can’t keep burning the Earth’s candle at both ends.

We have to take responsibility for our actions, and have more respect for each other and this planet we are privileged to inhabit.

Bob gives us twenty-one practices to simplify our lives. From just allowing ourselves to take it easy, to meditation and breathing.

On page seventy-six, he advocates exercise. This can include dancing.

Apparently there is a practice called 5Rhythmsdance a sort of movement meditation where you can dance away your demons.

It reminded me of a session of Laughing Yoga I did with my sister and three other stranger in an open tent at a Sunday market in Ireland — I’m smiling now as I think of it.

The session lasted about an hour, and so engrossed were we in our laughing that we were completely oblivious to the passers-by stopping to watch.

It was a fantastic unforgettable and liberating experience as I think 5Rhythmsdance would be too.

Bob Hillary’s lifestyle is intriguing, and in Simplify, he is very generously giving us the tools to aspire to a better way of life, a life that has been lost in this mad, mad world we have created.

Available from Amazon.co.uk

Let Natalie Jayne Peeke, our West Country Correspondent introduce you to ‘How Novel’

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Once upon a time I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across this interesting company called How Novel. What I was drawn to was the fact that they offer Mystery books which are wrapped, complete with illustrations to hint at the book that lies within.

I had many options to choose from and I ended up selecting two books: one was illustrated with hints such as ‘Espionage & Conflict’ and the second was illustrated with ‘ Witchcraft & Family’. I can not reveal what books I received, only that I am extremely happy with them.

I wanted to find out more about How Novel and they kindly agreed to answer some questions.


How the company came to be and why

I have always been entrepreneurial and wanted to run my own business. I started my first company when I was 16, where we provided sports coaching for children. When that came to an end I was on the lookout for a new idea. I was working in a school at the time, as a teaching assistant, and noticed that the children in one particular class loved reading more than any other. I worked out that the teacher was using her own money to buy books that linked to each individual child’s interests. That got my brain thinking and our sister brand, Reading Box (readingbox.co.uk), was born. We ran events for that brand over Christmas 2019 and wanted to offer something for adults too. I had seen ‘blind-date-with-a-book’ type things before, but thought we could do better; I knew a fantastic artist, put the two together and that is how the product in its current state came to be!

 

What is the ambition of How Novel?  

We want to make How Novel the go to brand for literary gifts. We have so many ideas, the sky is really the limit!

 

What does 2020 have in store for you all?  

Judging by the amount of orders that are coming in, more artists! As every single one of our Mystery Books is hand drawn, our capacity is limited to the speed at which our artists can draw and we will not compromise on quality. Most immediately, we will be launching our subscriptions, which will be more in line with memberships- you will really be part of a community. Every member will get a Mystery Book each month in one of our gorgeous boxes, along with an exclusive bookmark. Each member will also be given a personal pen pal to whom they can write each month and receive a bespoke response!


Did you have to go through a trial and error before you became established?   

Developing both brands to the point of launch took almost a year. For How Novel, the website, graphic design and product itself has all been done in house. However, once we launched it took off. We sent around five boxes out to people on Instagram with a decent following and within a day of them posting, we had doubled that in orders. The numbers have soared since then. So, even though it was a long slog to get going, once we opened our metaphorical doors people have welcomed us with open arms which has been really lovely. The support we have received has been immense.

 

How do you decide what books to use?  

Our Mystery Books are chosen either based on the recommendation of one of the team who has read it and enjoyed it, or we have heard great things about. We try and keep them current and in line with what our demographic tend to read, however we have plans to broaden our selection as we grow. Boring things like stock at our supplier are also taken into consideration. Once the books are delivered to us, one of our team chooses the four words that best represent that specific book before they are finally handed over to our Lead Artist, Jess. She usually sighs and gives us the odd annoyed look at us, once she has seen the difficulty of some of the words she has to draw but she always pulls it off! She’s incredible.

More information: https://www.hownovel.co.uk/

 

Will you be covered by your travel insurance?

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We are in worrying times and faced with the ultimate decision would you choose health over money. Is it worth the risk?
Insurance is a necessary evil and an added expense designed to safeguard travellers. It could be a saviour if you are caught in a difficult situation once you are on your holiday. But will it cover you if you want to cancel your holiday and stay at home?  

Insurance rules for epidemics and pandemics

Unfortunately, everything comes down to the stuff we hardly ever read – the small print. Previous outbreaks of world-threatening viruses like SARS, Ebola and Zika, have influenced insurers to be cautious and include only the necessary coverage for such events. And epidemics and pandemics have become excluded from most insurance coverage. Leaving holidaymaker covered for what will happen to them, but not what might happen to them. The World Health Organization has declared the latest virus outbreak as an international health emergency. However, although the insurance companies agree, they aren’t surprised by the newest virus to reach epidemic proportions, and to them, it is an expected risk they have already factored into their policies

Despite the lockdown happening in Italy at the moment, Europe is not on code red yet. There has been no official warning from the FCO not to travel in Europe. Special care should be taken in areas of South Korea (Daegu & Cheongdo) and China is still a no go zone. An FCO warning is the deciding factor for the airlines, travel agents, holiday and insurance companies, to motivate them to cancel flights or holiday packages and issue refunds.

Should I take my family on holiday?

The general insurance small print on the matter of epidemics or pandemics states that most claims will be assessed based on individual cases. But this doesn’t give much assurance to an average family about to embark on an international flight. And it doesn’t provide enough information for anyone debating whether to put health & safety first and stay at home instead. At the moment The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO)  and the government are asking travellers to reconsider their need to travel rather than giving a direct warning. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean much to the insurance companies and asking the public to contemplate whether it is wise to travel will not entitle them to a refund for their holiday. Deciding to travel without heeding the advice of the FCO may forfeit your right to claim back any of your medical expenses or costs of repatriation. However, if your destination was not on the ‘no go’ list when you travelled but has subsequently been upgraded, you will fall into an insurance grey area, and any settlement will be based on discretion when you make a claim. In some areas, the risk may be low, but that doesn’t mean that in the worst-case scenario, it won’t escalate or in the best-case, diminish to nothing. Cancelling a holiday you have promised your kids for months. Or have saved your pennies to make happen, is a tough choice. But there may be other factors to consider when making a final decision. Do you need to go? Is your health good? Is anyone you will be travelling with vulnerable (young, elderly, or has a suppressed immune system? The decision will be a real tug of war between your head and your heart.

Best and worst-case scenarios

If you’ve planned your trip a long way in advance. Hopefully, you booked your insurance before the latest epidemic scare started too. If so, it is likely you will be refunded if the FCO advises against travel to your destination, and your journey is cancelled, rescheduled or shortened by the providers. Unfortunately, if the FCO haven’t declared your destination a ‘no go’ zone, it is unlikely that you will be able to recoup any of your initial your costs unless you can change or defer your holiday. Hotels are usually more forgiving in these cases. And some airlines are more forgiving when changing flights than others. However, the budget airlines tend to be strict unless you have taken precautions in advance and booked a trip with extra adaptability. If you decide to take the risk and travel to a destination not banned by the FCO, you should be medically covered if something happens, as long as your insurance policy was booked in advance. However, the level of cover differs between companies and policies. And make sure you take appropriate precautions to reduce the risk of infection. Otherwise, it is unlikely you will receive any compensation at all.

Five Great Wellbeing Podcasts | Wellness

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I love podcasts. It took me a while to start listening to them but when I did I felt my world opened up. There is so much variety and if  you work from home, like me, they are a companion to keep you company. Here are five that I love for health and wellbeing. Please let me know which podcasts you are listening to.

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day.

I love Elizabeth Day and her How To Fail podcast is brilliant. I have listened to almost all of them. Each episode a different celebrity comes on and talks about their failures. I cannot recommend it enough.

How Did We Get Here with Claudia Winkelman and Professor Tanya Byron.

Claudia Winkleman is amazing beyond words and so is her co-host. If you have an interest in psychology like I do then this is definitely worth a listen.

Feel Better Live More With Doctor Rangan Chatterjee.

This is a great podcast on various health issues. A new topic is covered each episode. I love it.

Food For Thought With Rhiannon Lambert.

Great advice on nutrition. Fun to listen to too.

Deliciously Ella.

Ella is a classic. I have always admired here. She does this podcast with her husband. I have learnt a lot.

 

What would you add?

 

 

F*cked at Forty by Tova Leigh Review by Mary Cooper

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F*cked at 40: Life Beyond Suburbia, Monogamy and Stretch Marks

In her latest book, F*cked at Forty, Tova Leigh takes us on a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs, and the highs and lows of her life as a single person, a married, divorced and married again woman, the trauma of childbirth to, finally, a place that makes sense to her.

She discovered that she was more than just an extension of society and her family.

This made me reassess what I was striving for in my life, not just what society and family expected of me.

However, extracting the me from society and family proved to be more difficult than you would imagine.

When I was married and the children were small, if anyone asked how I was, I would always reply in relation to how the children and my husband were; if they were happy, I was happy.

Or was I?

Tova Leigh has been where I’ve been, felt what I’ve felt but, unlike me, she has stuck her head above the parapet and shouted it to the world. She changed things, and with an honesty that takes your breath away, has made her life, and the lives of those close to her, richer and happier.

The secret is, there is no secret. Be honest with yourself and, even if it’s painful, be honest with those close to you. Think carefully about the life you want, then get out and have that life. Adapt. Change. Never stop moving forward.

I realise, now, that life doesn’t stop after marriage, children or, even, divorce. There is so much more to explore, and I, for one, am considering a trip to Nepal where, according to F*ucked at Forty, the freedom is terrifying.

Available in HB, £14.99. Ebook and audio.

In the Full Light of the Sun by Clare Clark headlines a round up of my February reading: by Natalie Jayne Peeke

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What a novel: In the Full Light of the Sun by Clare Clark alternately fascinates, and moves,

Three Berliners are caught up in a devastating scandal of 1930s Berlin: Emmeline is a wayward young art student, Julius a middle aged art expert and Rachmann. Well, who is Rachmann? Is he really an art dealer?

A novel based on a true story about Van Gogh’s paintings and the rise of Nazis Germany in the ’30s, one which concentrates on these three characters caught up in the discovery of many unknown paintings by Vincent Van Gogh. But perhaps an equally important ‘character’ is Berlin: so edgy, so louche, so conflicted by the end of the war, so at odds with tradition, so despairing, chaotic, and what’s more, a city that is in the throes of giving house room to the monstrous Nazis regime. In this melee of damaged post war psyches where anything increasingly goes, this novel encompasses not just art, but greed, and always the uncertainty which impregnated post-war Berlinl ife. Masterly. Read it I beseech you.

Available in audio, e-book and paperback. Pub: Virago

 

Keep the home fires burning – By S Block

1940 Great Paxford, Cheshire, when a Spitfire crashes in the village the lives of an extraordinary community of women will change forever. Francis Barden’s greatest challenge is only just beginning. Pat Simms received a respite when her abusive husband went to war but now, he’s home, Pat doesn’t know who to turn to. And for newlyweds to Teresa and Nick, the plane crash on their wedding day may just be the start of their troubles. Meanwhile the life of the Campbell family will never be the same following a devastating tragedy.

Picking up from where the TV series cruelly ended I was finally able to see what became of the remarkable women of great Paxford, did Pat ever see her lover again? Was the baby OK? What did Francis do with Noah?

I became so invested in the characters and their lives the hurdles that they had to overcome whilst the world is at war. I couldn’t put it down I was gripped from beginning to end, Block describes with accurate detail the trials that people on the home front would face. A stunning story of love friendship and bravery during a horrible time of uncertainty for the people of Great Britain.

Phone off well rounded diverse and complex characters whose lives would never be the same again, leaving you sitting on the edge of your seat, praying for another tremendous instalment divulging into the lives of Great Paxford’s WI.

Perfect for fans of Annie Clark and Milly Adams and those that enjoy TV shows such as Foyle’s war and call the midwife.

 

The Letter – By Kathryn Hughes

Tina Craig longs to escape her violent husband she works all the hours God sends to save up enough money to leave him also volunteering in a charity shop to avoid her unhappy home. whilst going through the pockets of a second-hand suit she comes across an old letter the envelope firmly sealed and unfranked. Tina opens the letter and reads it, a decision that will change the course of her life forever.

Billy Stirling knows he has been a fool but hopes he can put things right. on the 4th of September 1939 he sits down to write the letter he hopes will change his future. it does in more ways than he can ever imagine.

the letter tells the story of two women born decades apart whose paths are destined to cross and how one woman’s devastation leads to the others Salvation.

if you came across a letter dated over 30 years ago and it remained unposted and unread would you have the courage to read it and do everything possible to find out the story behind it? a beautiful story of love friendship and heartache. a page turner that would leave you believing that everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. written in 2 different time lines exploring the lives of Tina and 30 years earlier the lives of billy and Chrissy a beautiful and complex storyline that I could not stop thinking about, I laughed, I cried and I was left feeling all warm and fuzzy. perfect for fans of The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan.

 

Everything but the truth By Gillian Mcallister

Do you ever check your partner’s phone? Should you?
Are you prepared for the consequences?

Everything but the Truth is Gillian Mcallister’s stunning breakthrough thriller about deceit, betrayal and one woman’s compulsive need to uncover the truth

It all started with the email. Rachel didn’t even mean to look. She loves Jack and she’s pregnant with their child. She trusts him.

But now she’s seen it, she can’t undo that moment. Or the chain of events it has set in motion.  Why has Jack been lying about his past? Just what exactly is he hiding? And doesn’t Rachel have a right to know the truth at any cost?

A truly unputdownable book. I was gripped from the first till last chapter. Gillian Mcallister is a fantastic story teller and I was kept in the know, i needed to know. Everything but the truth serves as a poignant reminder that everyone has their own secret, especially from people they love. You can’t help but put yourself in Rachel’s shoes, what would you do when you discover that the man you love has been keeping a colossal secret but yet, so have you.

I am now and forever will be a Gillian Mcallister fan.