Category Archives: Relationships & Love

Over half of women go Dutch on a first date, but men still want to pay

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Women will need to be financially prepared to pay their half as they break from first date tradition

New research from online bank first direct has found sharply differing financial attitudes to first dates between the sexes. While women have a progressive attitude to dating expecting to split the bill on a first date, men still like to play the hunter gatherer role and pick up the bill. With women breaking from tradition and expecting to pay at least some of the bill, they especially will have to be financially prepared for the cost of dating like never before.

Independent Women

The survey of 1,924 UK adults found that 58% of women expect to split the bill on a first date, double the proportion of men (29%). Additionally, 14% of women think it should be whoever suggested the date. Just a quarter of women said that they thought men should pay for a first date, while 3% said they should foot the bill, suggesting that women feel they shouldn’t be beholden to men, but that men should also pay their way.

Hunter Gatherer

Men on the other hand believe that chivalry isn’t dead, with 55% expecting to pay the full bill on a first date, and men spending an average of £65 on a first date compared to women who spend £50. Shouldering not just the financial burden but also the organisational responsibility, more than nine in ten males (94%) would organise the first date, compared with just 65% of women.

The average amount that people expect to pay on a first date is £56 and highlighting the financial considerations behind dating, 38% percent of people would use discount vouchers on a first date, a figure slightly higher for men (41%) than women (36%).

Richard Brown, Senior Savings Product Manager at first direct commented:

“As we approach the wedding season, the couple on everyone’s lips is Kate Middleton and Prince William. It would be fascinating to know if they split the bill or if William paid and pulled out a discount voucher on their first date. If he did, he is far from alone – dating can be an expensive business and if you do not have the disposable income of a future royal, it is important to make sure you have enough money saved to find The One.”

WORKINGMUMS LIVE EXHIBITION

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Mark Your Calendar – Tuesday 8th March 2011

Workingmums Live Exhibition, a brand new exhibition event, gives working parents the opportunity to:

* Meet with family friendly employers face to face including: Deloitte, Coca Cola, Santander and H&M
* Find flexible job opportunities
* Get advice on being self employed, starting a business or setting up a franchise
* Improve their CV and brush up on interview techniques
* Get advice on retraining from the experts
* Attend informative seminars on everything from party planning to tax credits
* Find out about childcare options and business funding

Venue: Business Design Centre, Islington, London.
Time: 10am – 5pm

Nearest Tube Station: Angel
The event is free for all attendees, and you can even bring your little ones as there will be buggy parks, changing stations and crèche facilities to make life that little bit easier.

To register, please visit www.workingmumslive.co.uk.

A short marriage, but a longer divorce?

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A short marriage often ends with a longer divorce due to differences of opinion over the financial settlement warns Caroline Bourn, solicitor at Buss Murton Law LLP.

Caroline Bourn comments: “This is highlighted by recent media coverage of Katie Price and Alex Reid’s split as reports claim Alex Reid is seeking a £6million divorce settlement, whilst Katie Price is offering £700,000. Couples can have great difficulty in agreeing what is the right settlement when dealing with a short childless marriage where one person brought into the marriage the majority of the wealth.”

“There is no one size fits all approach to any divorce settlement, as each case will depend on its own individual facts and circumstances.”

“In this case, the starting point of any financial agreement will be to identify the “marital acquest”, or more simply, what was built up during the marriage.”

“For example, in Katie Price and Alex Reid’s case this might include the money from the TV shows or magazine deals they were in together. The marital acquest, once identified, is often shared equally, which then leaves the decision as to what should happen to those assets that were bought into the marriage by one party or were inherited or are business assets, which were the result of one party’s effort.”

“In short marriages, contributions made by either party can prove to be decisive; whilst the longer the marriage lasts, the less weight may be given to those contributions made before a marriage.”

“With a short marriage, there is often not the acceptance that the assets will be divided equally, which is often the case in longer marriages.”

“A contested court case will cost thousands of pounds and could take years to conclude and if Katie Price and Alex Reid wish to avoid this, they would be well advised to find a better way of resolving the finances, such as Collaborative Law. This will mean they have to sit down around the same table with their lawyers and thrash the deal out.”

Caroline concludes: “If either party considers remarrying in the future, they would be well advised to draw up a Pre Nuptial Agreement to protect the wealth they bring to the marriage.”

Actress Donna Air on Dating the Second Time Around

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Actress and model Donna Air shares her ‘second time around’ dating stories for relationship site, www.eHarmony.co.uk

Dating Unplugged: Eight weeks of thoughts, advice, videos, pictures and comment for those who are finding love all over again
 
 
Actress, TV presenter and writer Donna Air this week unveils the first in a series of weekly blogs for relationship site eHarmony.co.uk, based on her own recent dating experiences. The blog posts will all follow the theme of ‘Dating the second time around’, the subject of a recent book by Dr Gian Gonzaga, Senior Relationship Scientist at eHarmony.co.uk. The blog can be found at: http://moourl.com/donnadating. 
 
Donna’s articles will feature amusing first-person dating anecdotes covering topics such as dating in the fast-moving world of social media, the challenges of dating outside your age group, and finding love as a single parent. Donna herself is a single mother to a seven year old daughter, and has spent the last four and a half years on the London dating scene following the breakdown of her long-term relationship.
 
Donna Air said:
“The search for the perfect partner is the one thing that unites all of us, whatever our circumstances, and starting that journey again after a long relationship can be scary. I was really excited to be asked by eHarmony to share some of my stories, and hopefully help other single people in the process. It can feel like a ‘dating jungle’ out there at times but sharing our experiences with each other will help us all on that mission to find the perfect person!”
 
The eight weekly blogs will run from Thursday February 24th until April 25th and will sit on eHarmony Advice, which contains relationship advice articles, forums and opinion polls for eHarmony members and anyone seeking relationship advice. Advice articles and videos by Dr Gian Gonzaga, excerpts from his recent book, and videos, photos and personal stories from eHarmony-matched couples who found love second time around will also feature. The blog will be supported by a social media campaign to amplify Donna’s articles through Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other online channels.
 
Ottokar Rosenberger, UK Country Manager for eHarmony.co.uk said:
“This is the first time in the UK that we’ve worked on a series of guest-authored blogs and we’re extremely excited to host Donna’s unique content on our site. Donna has a really warm and engaging personality and we’re sure her stories will strike a chord with anyone who’s navigating the sometimes nerve-wracking world of dating. We hope readers of the blogs will also post their own thoughts and experiences.”
 
“We plan to run other blogs over the rest of the year on a range of love-related subjects, which we hope will appeal to our existing members, and to anyone seeking helpful and interesting relationship advice.”

How to Be the Perfect Boyfriend and Make Your Woman Happy.

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There is a myth in society that women are incredibly complicated and you can’t make them happy. Well that’s a load of rubbish, women are actually simple and, yes, you can make her happy! Here are a few tips below which will hopefully make you a better boyfriend and make your girlfriend happier.

Be independent, have your own goals and purpose and never depend upon her

This is vitally important; a woman will never love a man whom depends on her. A woman wants to feel the strength of her man and his ability to confront any situation. If a man is constantly depending on his woman for support, whatever that may be financial, emotional, physical etc; he appears weak. In other words he is not really a man.

When you depend upon your girlfriend. Your girlfriend will think she is acting like your mother. Nothing could be less attractive to her. Always remember, your girlfriend is not your mother.

This poor guy never stood a chance: Guy calls out a girl who rejected him for years on Facebook

Don’t moan or complain

Women hate it when their men constantly moan and whine. Well it’s not just women, everybody hates it. We all know whining or moaning is unattractive and yet many of us continue to do it regularly because it makes us feel better.

When you moan or complain your basically saying life is unfair. Whether it is or isn’t doesn‘t matter. By moaning or whining you’re not taking responsibility for your own actions. You’re feeling sorry for yourself. It’s not just unhealthy for your relationship, it’s unhealthy for yourself. Successful people don’t complain, they don’t feel sorry for themselves they get on with things. They create solutions and work around tricky situations.

Your girlfriend is not someone to unload all your grievances onto. Remember, your girlfriend is not there not support you, you are there to support her. When we moan and say how everything is so unfair we are showing ourselves as weak. We are using our women as a crutch and this goes back to our first fundamental principle. Never depend on your women.

Why would your girlfriend want to be with a moaner? This is clearly a man who can’t cope with the world, who will never be successful and who most importantly won’t be able to support her and can’t be relied upon.

She will test you

A good girlfriend will test her man. Women may often pick at things which may seem trivial. Men often don’t seem to understand this and some men get bothered and annoyed by it. Why do women test their partners, because they want to be certain about their man? Is he trustworthy, does he have integrity is he strong and can he cope? The strong man relishes such challenges and is more than happy to be tested. What sort of things will she do? A test might take many different forms, perhaps you contradicted yourself (integrity test), A weak man may think her picking as unnecessary and trivial but the strong man recognises his integrity has been questioned and will then seek to allay his girlfriend’s fears. Other tests might be physical or mental strength tests etc.

Use body language, don’t try and have an argument with her

This is a classic problem which most men fall into at some point. Weaker men may joke about how it’s impossible to have a rational argument with a woman. But men often fail to see things from the women perspective. For a start she usually doesn’t give a damn what your arguing over and this isn’t to say she can’t have a rational argument when she wants to. As an example maybe you were supposed to do something with her but you didn’t. What’s she’s really upset about is usually that you’ve shown you lack integrity and can’t be trusted, not that you didn’t do thing were you were going to.
Maybe you had a great reason for not doing that thing with her. But here’s the thing NOBODY CARES, least of all her. Never try and talk or argue her round. Instead use your body and body language to communicate with her. Reassure her of who you truly are.

Up The Creek Comedy Speed Dating {London}

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Has your Valentine left you disappointed this year? Were you given a half eaten packet of biscuits or some sort of ‘meaningful’ pen? Or did they simply neglect to wash and shave for the fortnight’s run up to v-day and present themselves on your doorstep claiming to have renounced modern society and commercial holidays before muttering comments about sustainable living and raiding the contents of your fridge. If so, then it might be time to explore your options, and one London comedy club is intent on doing just that in a new slant on speed dating.

Up the Creek’s critically praised ‘Comedy Speed Dating‘ night in Greenwich begins again on Wednesday 23rd February and continues on the last Wednesday of every month. It’s a hilarious night of laid back dating followed by top notch comedy from the biggest names on the comedy circuit.

Tickets are just £5 and pre booking is a MUST as the night is extremely popular. Booking line is 0208 858 4581

If any of our readers do decide to go…let us know how you get along.

Make Your Valentine Count With Smilers

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Ah, l’amour.

Just before Spring comes boinging out of Winter’s clutches and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love – or more likely, peeling their beloved’s lingerie off with their teeth – comes Valentine’s Day.

I won’t bore you with the history, but it came about after a Christian martyr called Valentine forgot to give his beau a felled ox or some such, so put together a hastily hand-drawn etching and grabbed a bunch of daisies pulled from the nearest horse trough stop – or something like that. Since then, countless love-lorn people have sent anonymous cards in the hope of winning said crush, only to find them go off with someone else who had the foresight to sneakily gain credit for someone else’s hard-earned efforts, cash and card.

Anyway, if you want to enhance your chances of getting your girl – or boy – to disrobe sensually for you, prove just how much you care about your loved ones by attaching your very own Smilers stamp to your Valentine’s card, courtesy of our very own Cupids at the Royal Mail.

Smilers allow you to personalise your post by combining one of your own photos with a Royal Mail stamp – guaranteed to make your card or love letter stand out from the rest and thus stop anyone else claiming ownership!

Smilers can be ordered online, where after uploading a chosen image, users can pick from a range of different stamp designs and background themes, with the option to create either round or rectangle shaped Smilers, and designs available to suit all occasions. Royal Mail also recently launched their first Smilers app which lets people instantly create their own personalised postage by downloading photos taken on their iPhone.

The Smilers app is free through the App Store and, as well as grabbing your lovers attention on Feb 14th, is also an ideal way for people to share celebrations such as birthdays, weddings and new arrivals.

Smilers are available in sheets of either 10 or 20, and prices start at just £7.80 for a sheet of 10 1st Class stamps. With secure payment through PayPal, customers will receive the sheets within five working days.

The Joy of Teen Sex?

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America is not impressed. Teens are having sex, and MTV is doing f***all to discourage them. As if showing Miley Cyrus’s videos on an hourly rotation isn’t abominable enough (AOL has voted her the worst celebrity influence for the second year in a row – why such a poll was considered necessary, or how Taylor Momsen slipped through the net who knows), the channel is currently airing a brand-new US version of Skins, the cult UK TV show thanks to which youngsters all over Britain have been snorting cocaine and having barely legal lesbian sex after and (more likely) during school hours since 2007. American parents, advertisers and activists are protesting, claiming that the show exhibits child pornography and violates legal requirements to protect young viewers and the teen actors themselves.

In one sense, I sympathise. I feel like I can’t switch the TV on these days without catching a glimpse of sexually hyperbolic children. During last Wednesday’s episode of The Joy of Teen Sex the nation was treated to one youngster’s cringetastic first attempt to ‘go down’ on his girlfriend having just overcome his chronic fear of vaginas. Cue applause from the cameramen?

Now it’s not that long since I was a teen (those who saw my last column will know I cling to youth with a desperation to rival Dorian Gray). However, as a mildly antisocial specimen I wasn’t privy to what one might call the full spectrum of experience early on. I wasn’t (quite) a complete dork, but I was nevertheless more an Inbetweener than an Effy (see below – notorious and sorely missed UK Skins character seasons one through four – I will cool off the TV references soon I promise). When a friend recently told me that he “was getting head in year eight at the school disco, and was one of the later ones,” I was taken aback.  I have a brother in year eight, perhaps why I found this particularly disturbing.

Left-right: Freddie, Effy, Cook and Panda- UK Skins gang seasons three and four

I remember a definite ‘awakening’ occurring during my mid-teens however. For example, I recall a year nine English lesson during which a friend and I compared what we’d done over the weekend. I had written an essay, ironically on Romeo and Juliet – an early parable about the potential hazards of teen sex. She’d given her boyfriend a blowjob during Shrek at the cinema. “WHY???” I gawped.  “He wanted one,” she shrugged.

Obviously there had been various infamous events: “I heard she had an abortion when she was 12,” “they had sex on the beach during the year nine Isle Of Wight trip and TEACHERS FOUND THEM,” and house parties were, by year ten, synonymous with all manner of sexual hijinks. Still, I wasn’t quite prepared for this revelation from a hitherto very shy and retiring girl. But it was not an outrageously outlandish example, and rightly or wrongly, a good proportion of my year had swapped fluids by via one means or another by the time they sat their GCSES.

More recently, I was chatting with a 14-year-old girl when the question of BOYS came up. Ah, I thought, a chance to share the wisdom of years, perhaps help my young friend avoid some of the pitfalls into which I in my naïve youth had fallen. What was the problem, I asked? “Well my last boyfriend dumped me because I wouldn’t give him a blow job. It was kind of unfair, as I had ‘received’, but wasn’t ‘giving’, yano? I mean I’m not at all what you would call frigid, but I just didn’t fancy it. Also the guy I like smokes, and I used to LOADS but I quit a year ago and I really don’t want to start again, and I’m worried if I go out with him I will.”

I took a deep breath. Then I told her as tactfully as possible that her ex was an asshole she was best shot of, and that perhaps she might prove a healthy influence on the new guy and get him to quit smoking. The admittedly tenuous point is that the decisions and attitude she expressed to me in no way mirrored what she had seen on the box the previous night (she likes QI). Furthermore, she rightly stopped when she felt uncomfortable, and this can probably be attributed to her own resolve rather than abstinence from inappropriate television.

The argument I’m havng a semi-arsed attempt at making is that teens are going to have sex whether their parents like it or not. At least some of them. We should accept this, and as they say in The Joy of Teen Sex, the main thing is that it is safe and consensual. Though Skins might be amplifying the fantasies of the Inbetweeners crowd more aggressively than Glee (I lied about the reference thing), if parents are to complain, I’d argue that the smoking/narcotics-related element of proceedings is more worthy of their energy. I personally found the total departure from any attempt at a cohesive or engaging plot in last week’s episode infinitely more offensive than the frequent references to f***ing.

Obviously the second my brother goes anywhere near a girl with the intention of touching anything other than her hand I’ll be whacking a chastity belt on him faster than he can say ‘hypocrite’.