True Grit Preview/Review. {Film}

Posted on by

You can always trust the Coen brothers to go off the beaten track. Their films always have a large dose of the absurdity of life about them. True Grit is no exception. A remake of the classic starring John Wayne – which Jeff Bridges claims he hasn’t seen and deliberately didn’t watch. Those are big shoes to fill, and Bridges, who is having nothing short of a renaissance at the moment, fills the shoes and makes the character his own with gusto.

Although I have nothing against any specific type of film, I found it truly refreshing to see a good old-fashioned western. Which is exactly what this is.

Hailee Steinfield has the kind of part that actresses double her age would kill for. A perfect role model for women and girls everywhere. And she plays it perfectly. She’s a talent to watch. The scene where she rides her horse across the river is nothing less than brilliant. Matt Damon joins in the fun by making his Texas ranger just as kooky as the rest of the characters.

The Coen Brothers have made it clear that this is not based on Henry Hathaway’s version of the movie, but the Charles Portis novel. Their interpretation is as stunning and original as their other movies. The film truly transports you to a different, harsher and harder era – when there really was a wild west and even dead bodies were nothing more than a money-making opportunity.

There are a lot of good films coming out this year.. This is definitely one.

In The Pink – How Doctor Who Turned Gay

Posted on by

Before Matt Smith became the 11th incarnation of Doctor Who, there was the usual excited comment in the media. Would – or could – the new Doctor be black, a woman, or gay?

Seeing as Time Lords seemingly don’t have the habit or ability of changing sex or race, the talk is always irrelevant and frankly, redundant. But that doesn’t stop the lively debate every time there’s a change of face.

As it turned out, Smith’s Doctor is, like all the others, male, white and seemingly straight, but William Hartnell’s irascible first Doctor from 1963 aside, Doctor Who has always bordered on camp with more than a degree of innuendo.

With the advent of the Swinging Sixties later in the decade, more overt sexuality crept in with mini-skirted female companions – and mini-skirted males, if you care to count Frazer Hines’ kilted highlander, Jamie McCrimmon.

Wendy Padbury’s Zoe Herriot often crops up in Whovian conversations thanks pretty much to a spangly, tight purple zip-up jump suit she once wore while scrambling on to the Tardis console. But it was probably Katy Manning’s character of Jo Grant who is most fondly remembered as the girl who first put the sex into Doctor Who.

Jo, apart from being a good screamer as the role frequently required, had a tendency to flash her knickers courtesy of her early 1970’s outfit of short skirt and plastic boots. Not only did Manning thus cement her role as the first crush of small boys and the lust object of dads everywhere, ratings went through the roof.

After Manning left the series, she capitalised by posing nude with a Dalek, but it was really only as Doctor Who began its decline in the mid-1980s that Nicola Bryant’s Peri Brown briefly stirred the watching public again by appearing in a much-commented upon – and criticised – skimpy bikini.

Peter Davison has also frequently mentioned how his intense death scene as the fifth Doctor was completely upstaged by Bryant’s cleavage as she knelt beside him, but even the Doctors’ famed regenerations eventually proved no match for the BBC hierarchy. Where numerous enemies had tried and failed, poor stories and a poor time slot brought the Time Lord’s career to a close in December 1989.

Enter Russell T Davies. The TV Producer and Screenwriter had a number of hits on his CV before he tackled the resurrection of Doctor Who in 2005, including Queer as Folk, a controversial series about the Manchester gay scene, drawn loosely on Davies’ own experiences.

Despite initial scepticism, under Davies’ stewardship the ninth Doctor – portrayed by Christopher Eccleston along with Billie Piper’s superb Rose Tyler – was a huge hit. When Eccleston left, David Tennant’s Time Lord took the ratings even higher.

It would take an extremely brave move to make such an iconic figure as the Doctor into a gay man. And chances are that if anyone could have done it, Davies is the one, but that’s always likely to be a step too far for the BBC.

And yet, the reborn Doctor Who embraces numerous gay references, all the more remarkable in a top-rated, worldwide, prime time TV show aimed at the family. In fact, it is probably the gayest, non-gay programme anywhere in the TV schedules.

Davies is responsible for writing many of the episodes, but it was the Steven Moffat-penned ‘The Empty Child’, which introduces John Barrowman’s Captain Jack Harkness, with Barrowman’s character the obvious crutch – pun intended – for what soon becomes a running theme throughout the entire series.

There are no holds barred when the viewing public is first introduced to Harkness. He caresses a fellow airman’s backside at a party before it’s revealed the two are having a relationship. Which, let’s face it, is pretty bold of them considering the law and public opinion of homosexuality in the 1940s.

And in the second of the two-parter, ‘The Doctor Dances’, the character of Nancy stops a black-marketeer from threatening her with the police by telling him she knows he’s ‘messing around’ with the male butcher. Although it takes a couple of more episodes before, following much innuendo, Captain Jack kisses the Doctor in what’s believed to be the series’ first same-sex kiss.

Davies himself took the opportunity to take a sly dig at gay stereotyping in werewolf episode ‘Tooth and Claw’.

When Tennant’s Doctor is asked why he failed to notice anything odd about the servants of a manor house, he replies: “Well, they were bald, athletic, your wife’s away. I just thought you were happy.”

Meanwhile, in ‘The Age of Steel’, a deleted scene from the DVD reveals Noel Clarke’s alternate Earth counterpart, Ricky, is the boyfriend of friend Jake.

Continuing the gay theme, Catherine Tate’s debut in ‘The Runaway Bride’ shows two men dancing together at her wedding reception, while in ‘The Shakespeare Code’ the Bard responds to Tennant’s comment about future flirting with: “Is that a promise Doctor?”

In ‘Gridlock’, the pensionable Cassini sisters are clearly married lesbians, while the Doctor’s sexuality is again called into question in ‘Daleks in Manhattan’ by New Yorker Tallulah who asks if Tennant prefers ‘musical theatre’.

Tennant’s Doctor is again involved in some mild male ‘bromance’, offering another New Yorker, Frank, the chance of a kiss, while John Simm’s Master asks Tennant if he is “asking me out on a date?” after the Doctor reveals they are the last of the Time Lords.

Tate’s character of Donna Noble returns in the fourth series, and after announcing a previous boyfriend ran off with another man, it’s all about the girls.

‘The Doctor’s Daughter’ reveals two of Donna’s friends are a lesbian couple who had a child with IVF, while in ‘Midnight’, the character of Sky Silvestry is on holiday to get over a relationship with another woman. Even the return of Piper’s Rose Tyler in ‘Turn Left’ is greeted by Noble with a heartfelt: “Blonde hair might work on men, but not on me!”

Meanwhile, in the series finale ‘Journey’s End’, Davies and Barrowman’s Captain Jack up the ante big time by hinting at a possible threesome with Tennant’s two identical Doctors.

Davies left Doctor Who at the same time as Tennant in 2009 after the two-parter, ‘End of Time’, but couldn’t resist a final scene involving Barrowman.

In a homage to the Star Wars cantina scene, Captain Jack sits alone at a bar next to Being Human’s Russell Tovey – Midshipman Alonso Frame from ‘Voyage of the Damned’. The Doctor passes Jack a note giving Frame’s name. A quick suggestive chat-up between Harkness and Frame follows before Frame asks Harkness if he can guess what he’s thinking.

Well, yes. I think we get the gist.

Since replacing Davies at the helm for 2010, Moffat has largely reined in the gay references. Indeed, Smith’s 11th Doctor remains asexual while Karen Gillan’s companion, Amy Pond, is the flirt.

However, Gillan has had some viewers and newspapers frothing and complaining over her short skirts. Which is odd, considering she has showed considerably less than Manning did, despite it being almost 40 years later in a time of a much more liberal media.

And there’s the irony.

Put against the usual right wing hysteria about traditional family values, Doctor Who has done much to open the doors to more liberal views about homosexuality at prime time and Davies should be applauded for having the guts to do so.

Too bad that the complaints about Ms Pond shows that tolerance of heterosexual sex appeal still has some way to go.

Jemma Kidd opens up about her panic attacks.

Posted on by

Model, Business Woman and Make-up Artist Jemma Kidd Speaks Out About Her Crippling Anxiety, Panic Attacks And The Man Who ‘Transformed’ Her Life.

A national magazine today broke the story that Jemma Kidd has kept secret for most of her adult life. The celebrity Make-up Artist and sister of model Jodie Kidd (who also suffered from panic attacks and anxiety) would appear to the public and the majority of people that know her to have led a charmed and carefree life. Today, she revealed that crippling anxiety and panic attacks plagued her throughout her twenties until she and her sister came across Charles Linden and his program for anxiety disorder recovery.

“The attacks are so random and debilitating that you become fearful of the fear that they bring. You start to anticipate them and find yourself doing anything to avoid them. I stopped driving on my own. I manipulated my life so that when I had to go somewhere, I had someone with me. I couldn’t go into the supermarket or anywhere crowded. If I was going to stay at someone’s house for the weekend, I would be anxious for about ten days before and would insist on knowing how close they lived to a hospital. The symptoms were so real that I believed I could have a heart attack at any time,” Jemma states.

Jemma went online and came across the website of Charles Linden, 42, a former TV producer from Kidderminster, Worcestershire, who suffered from chronic anxiety for more than seven years and subsequently developed his own method of treating anxiety, panic attacks, phobias and obsessive compulsive disorder. “I bought his book and CD and read his story, which was 50 times worse than mine, and it made me realise that I could do something to help myself. Within days, I was feeling better,” says Jemma.

Jemma has since met Charles and agreed to work with him at his residential anxiety recovery retreats in Worcestershire. “I have been on one myself and seen how transformational his work is.”

Since curing himself in 1998, Charles and the team at The Linden Centre have helped over 139,000 anxiety sufferers internationally. Of Jemma’s recovery, Charles comments: “Jemma and her sister Jodie are a fantastic example of how the method works to put people back in control of their lives. We are very excited to have Jemma on board encouraging other sufferers to start their recovery asap.

“We at The Linden Centre are so proud to have guided tens of thousands of anxiety sufferers through the program, which shows them how to make changes in their lives to affect the way the mind perceives its environment – which in turn, switches of the anxiety response in humans. It really is very simple.”

On Tuesday 25th January, Charles will be hosting a one-off live webchat at www.charles-linden.com/webcast . Between 7pm and 9pm GMT, Charles is encouraging sufferers and carers to log on and ask him anything in relation to Anxiety Disorders and The Linden Method.

Anyone who would like to find out more can also contact The Linden Method support centre and speak to one of their advisers on 01562 742 004 Monday- Friday 9am – 5pm.

Full story was in The Mail on Sunday’s You magazine 23rd Jan 2011.

Mary Portas: Secret Shopper. {Frost interview}

Posted on by

Retail guru Mary Portas, the undisputed Queen of the British aisles, moves to Channel 4 this month to present a brand new series, Mary Portas: Secret Shopper.

In Secret Shopper, Mary Portas has changed sides. Rather than helping businesses to maximise profits, she’s now championing the shopper, and battling to get Britain’s biggest chains to put customers first.

Mary believes that Britain is cowering under a cloud of poor customer service and that we’ve never had it so bad. By using the stealth weapon of secret shopping, she exposes shoddy customer service and uses the evidence to give company bosses a wake-up call. And, with the help of her covert cameras, she’s planning to start a retail revolution.

The giants may be delivering bumper profits but they won’t be smiling for long – Mary and her gang of shoppers have caught some of Britain’s biggest brands with their trousers down. Together they have unearthed shoddy shop floors and minimal service from apathetic shop staff.

Having got to grips with the problems, Mary believes she’s got the answer to this malaise. Here, she explains what she’s hoping to achieve with her new series, why customers are being sold short in Britain today, and what we can do about it.

What’s your new series all about?

It’s me actually going on the side of the consumer. In the past, my shows have involved me going in to save failing retail businesses. This time, I’m looking at it from the customers’ point of view.

I just think we’ve lost the whole culture of service in this country. I think we’ve ended up with sales teams stacking shop floors as opposed to any type of service. I think it’s criminal. We’re probably one of the worst countries in the world for customer service now. You don’t realise how bad it is until you travel.

There’s now a whole generation – certainly my kids, who are teenagers – who don’t even expect good service. They don’t even expect to be greeted now when they go into a shop.

So I’m looking at that, and how we can improve that. And in some circumstances it’s very funny – it’s so bad it’s funny.

What sort of areas will you be going into?

First of all, fast fashion, where there’s just no service anymore. I go into shops like that undercover.

Then I’m also looking at places where you’re sold at – the hard sell – so places such as furniture showrooms. I’ve seen people being sold stuff that they don’t need. So we’re looking at all types of customer service.

Now, when you go to the supermarket, it’s just beep beep, ‘Have you got a clubcard?’, and that’s it. They don’t even tell you the price – you have to look at the machine.

It’s as if we’ve lost the ability to communicate or care. I hate it. It’s something that I’ve got so upset about. And as consumers we just accept it. So I’m going to go into businesses and ask them ‘Are you genuinely putting the customer first?’. You look at the cultures of these businesses, and you realise nobody on the shop floor is being properly trained or given time, and they’re the ones who are the interface with the customer.

Is it much better abroad, then?

Certainly in America it’s superb. But they are on commission, so there is the question, ‘Are they really selling me the right thing?’

But, I went into Bed, Bath and Beyond in America just to buy a cafetiere about three weeks ago, and the guy was just talking me through every type of cafetiere possible. And I said, ‘Well actually I only want it because my friend hasn’t got a cafetiere and I’m staying here for a week.’ And he said ‘Well then, it’s the cheap version that you want.’ He just gave me really brilliant service. I just can’t remember having that in the UK.

I’d love to put that into our retail. We’re meant to be a nation of shopkeepers, it’s the number one social pastime, yet it’s hell. Genuinely, it’s not fun.

Have you met any resistance from the retailers?

Yeah, but that’s what makes good TV! They go, ‘No, we look after the customer.’ And so you show them the undercover footage.

And then they blame the sales team, and they go, ‘I trained them!’, and then you discover the training is a notice on the back of the door that says ‘smile before you go on stage’.

That’s your training? And they’re paying the minimum wage, and they’ll get someone who doesn’t speak more than five words of English.

How did you decide who to shine the spotlight on?

We wrote down a list of the ones that we disliked. Then we did a poll of lots and lots of customers, and asked what their hates were. And then we began to realise it was everything.

It wasn’t just phone shops or electrical goods. People would go into jewellers and the staff wouldn’t know about the product they were selling. It just seemed like such a big issue. We could go anywhere and look at any business and in 90% of cases they wouldn’t be putting the customer at the centre of what they do.

Is it all retail that you’re dealing with?

Yes it is, because it’s very difficult, visually, to show me dealing with phone companies in India. And I felt most strongly about it in the retail sector, because that’s where my background is.

I know there are these call centres which are just heinous. But in the last 15 years, it’s been a period of very high consumer spend, where anybody could have made money. You didn’t have to be good. So this is coming at a time when the consumer has all the cards in their hand.

Often when you get economy dips, which we’ve got, something good comes out of it. I think we’re now becoming a little bit more considered and caring about how we shop.

Were there any places you visited where you were impressed by the standard of service?

Yes. There was an incredibly sophisticated sales operation in this furniture showroom. They had it down to a fine art.

But, even then, was it actually giving what was right for the customer? The more time I spent watching them the more I realised it was all about getting the sale. So, very sophisticated, but not about the customer.

Which companies in general do you think have got it right?

There’s hope, when you look at companies such as Apple. They weren’t retailers, and came on to the high street and delivered one of the best retail experiences there is today.

They put things such as the Genius Bar in, they gave free advice to people, they trained people, all the guys were geeks who knew their products, and it’s successful. And every one that they’ve opened has been managed that way.

And I think Pret a Manger is one of the best out there. The energy when you go in there is great. Gap do it really well – the sales team have an upbeat freshness and energy about them.

And John Lewis staff are extraordinarily good. They know their stuff, they’re pleasant and they’ll go out of their way for you.

Do you think even when we’re getting cheap prices, we should still expect good customer service?

Of course. Why wouldn’t you? The profit margins are much greater than on luxury goods. You should absolutely expect decent customer service wherever you’re shopping.

How do you persuade shopkeepers to invest in their staff and in good customer service? What’s in it for them?

I genuinely believe that consumers will see that you’ve put that extra effort in, and will come back.

I also think that we’re culturally shifting towards that – we’re questioning where we spend. We’ve got a much more considered consumer, and, because of the financial crisis, they’re looking at what true value is today.

I’m speaking to retailers and saying to them, ‘Let’s start to be part of this new shift.’ And some of the big, global brands are starting to do that.

So how do you go about ensuring that customer service improves?

I think it’s a cultural change from two sides. I think it’s about the top of the business genuinely, genuinely thinking about their consumer. And I think it’s a cultural change from the shopper going, ‘Do I really need this? Have I really been looked after? Has this been honest and trustworthy?’

I was filming in a fast fashion shop, and the state of the place was unbelievable. There were clothes on the floor, there were queues of 40 or more people – it was gobsmacking. I wouldn’t do that. I think standards have got steadily worse and worse.

Why is that?

If you look at the history of retailing, in the 50s it was all independent retailers. You went to your butcher, your baker, your local fashion shop, and you had small businesses that really needed to serve.

By the 70s, chains started emerging, and the minute you get into chains, trying to keep that service culture is very difficult. You had to grow, and open up other shops across the country, which meant you had to use very cheap labour.

Also, in other countries, there’s a certain amount of pride in the job – you go in and you work hard and climb the ladder in retail. Here, a shop assistant just sees themselves as a shop assistant.

What sort of changes did you implement in the course of the series?

Well, to give you one example, I changed the whole fitting-room experience. Shoppers want to be acknowledged, smiled at, they want to be served quickly and efficiently, but the biggest complaint shoppers have is the fitting rooms. The queues, the rooms, the smell. And the staff are bored. They just stand there saying ‘only four garments… only four garments.’

I worked in a fitting room for a day during the filming, and I almost lost the will to live. The customers hate it, the staff hate it, how can it be all right? So I looked at creating a new type of fitting room. What would inspire and motivate both the staff and the consumer?

Have you always been a complainer?

Yes, I suppose I have. Ever since I trained at Harrods. Wealthy people have no problem complaining if something isn’t up to scratch, and I learned from them.

I think, sometimes, less well-off people don’t think they have the right to complain, or they don’t have the self-confidence to do so, so they just end up accepting mediocrity or poor service.

You’ve been tackling problems in retail for years now on telly. Do you ever despair about the task – that things will never improve?

I look at the restaurant industry, which has been on our TVs for 15 years now. I’ve only been at this four years. I look at what’s happened in the restaurant industry and I think there’s been a huge shift, from the Bernie Inns to actually understanding what good food is about.

That’s all changed through awareness. It’ll probably be a few more years yet. But when it’s done brilliantly, retail is one of the most exciting, fun things to do. A day at the shops can be wonderful when it’s done right.

So I refuse to let the fat cats out there make serious amounts of money and not hear the voice of the consumer.

You’ve moved from the BBC to Channel 4. What was behind the move?

I loved the BBC, absolutely, but at Channel 4, I felt that commercially I was able to flex myself a bit more, and make a bigger change in a louder way. They’re a little bit more racy. It just feels like the right sort of environment to me.

And if you are tweeting along the hashtag is #secretshopper. Please join in and get involved. You can follow Mary on Twitter @queenofshops and on Facebook – www.facebook.com/C4secretshopper

Twelve Top Tips To Cut Household Costs. {Money}

Posted on by

January is always the cruellest month. After the Christmas blow out, funds are short and everything is more expensive. This week is supposed to be the financially toughest with Christmas credit card bills plopping through the door and just another two weeks to go till payday. Then there are the long nights and the cold weather to add to our joys!

To help, Frost has got financial expert, Jasmine Birtles, bringing you 12 practical tips on how to manage your finances and cut down your motoring costs by spending less and making a few simple changes to your routine.

So, fight back at the seasonal and economic gloom and use these tips to make the most of your money this month and for the rest of the year.

1. Save on motoring costs. Motorists are really feeling the pinch at the moment. Swap your current car for a smaller, cheaper, more fuel-efficient version. If it has very low emissions, you will also save on insurance, car tax and some residents parking schemes. Keep the tyres pumped up at all times and try to drive at a smooth, constant speed as this reduces your fuel consumption. For more information on smarter driving tips visit www.shell.co.uk/fuelsave. Making the right fuel choice can lead to significant savings each year. Shell FuelSave Unleaded & Diesel are formulated to save you up to 1 litre per tank* at no extra cost, helping you to save fuel and money every time you fill up.

2. Get as much as you can for free. Use freebie sites (wisely – there’s a lot of rubbish to sift through!) for free samples of all kinds of things. Also, get into mystery shopping for free restaurant visits and supermarket shopping trips – make sure they are legit, though, like TNS-Global.com or JKSMysteryshopping.co.uk. Get a holiday nearly free by swapping your house with someone in another country. Try the website Homeexchange.com for an amazing selection of homes all round the world.

3. Share and swap with friends and neighbours. Get together with your friends and neighbours to save money. Have a swap shop every now and then where you and your friends swap clothes, accessories and even unwanted gifts. Also, share lawnmowers, power tools and other big-ticket items with neighbours. Bulk-buy food and household goods at the Cash and Carry and share them out with neighbours so that you all end up paying less.

4. Sign up to bargains. There are loads of voucher sites and bargain newsletters that will send money-off deals and vouchers into your inbox every week. Just be discerning about which deals you go for. Sign up for free to the Moneymagpie free weekly newsletter for exclusive deals you can’t get anywhere else [http://www.moneymagpie.com/newsletter-subscription/]

5. Use loyalty cards. If you’re going to spend money you might as well get something back for it. If you use loyalty cards like the Boots Advantage card, make sure you get the most out of them. Boots commonly has ‘mega weekends’, either online or in-store where you get 1,000 extra points (worth £10). When one hits, it’s worth collecting together everything you were planning to buy in Boots to grab the excess. With fuel prices increasing, it’s worth looking at how you can save money on fuel. Shell runs a loyalty scheme, Shell Driver’s Club – you’ll receive 50 bonus points on first registration online and additional points every time you fill up at Shell. Points can be exchanged for money off Shell fuel vouchers – 500 points gets you £2.50 of vouchers.

6. Be clever with your credit cards. If you have a nasty Christmas debt on your credit cards, switch to a 0% deal such as the 17-month offer from Barclaycard or a low lifetime balance transfer card such as MBNA’s card which offers 5.9%. Or, if you pay off your debt each month, get a card that rewards you for spending. Try Barclaycard Freedom where you can earn up to 1% ‘Reward Money’ of your purchase price at over 20,000 participating retailers. You can then redeem it at participating retailers for money off at restaurants and high street retailers. Visit barclaycardfreedom.co.uk for a full list of retailers

7. Do a budget and stick to it. It sounds boring, but a budget is your family’s weapon against the money monster. You can even do it on the back of an envelope. Just add up the money that comes in each month then take away from that all the bills you have to pay to keep the roof over your head, and body and soul together. Once you know what you’ve got left over, you just divide that amount by four and make sure you don’t spend more than that each week. That will keep you out of expensive and miserable debt.

8. Make your home pay for itself. If you’re struggling to keep up with the mortgage, bring in extra cash by renting out a spare room. You can make up to £4,250 a year tax-free by doing this. Or just rent out your driveway by putting it on Parkatmyhouse.com. You could even make megabucks by offering it as a film set. Try registering with Lavishlocations.com.

9. Save on food bills. There are loads of ways of cutting down your food bill each week. Switch one meat dish per week to a vegetarian one that is cheaper. Get tips from Lovefoodhatewaste.com on how to make the most of what you’ve got. Shop at street markets as they are generally 30% cheaper than supermarkets. Go down a brand with food in tins and jars – you won’t notice the difference with most of them.

10. Shop around to save. It goes without saying that you could save £100s on your insurance, utilities and other bills by using comparison sites before you sign-up. Also, though, use sites like Pricerunner and Kelkoo to research gadgets like washing machines, TVs and lawnmowers. You can even save on removal costs by using the website Anyvan.com where ‘man-with-van’ operations and removals firms bid for your job. Find bookkeepers, lawyers and household helpers through Peopleperhour where all kinds of professionals bid for your work

11. Buy secondhand. Now that VAT is at 20%, the best way to avoid the hike is to buy things secondhand, particularly big-ticket items like cars, furniture and electronics. Use eBay, Gumtree, your local paper and family forums such as Mumsnet to buy things secondhand. Quite often, items just a few months old can be half price.

12. Be green. Get into green living and you will definitely save money. Mend clothes and gadgets where you can rather than buying new ones. Cut down on electricity, and your carbon footprint, by avoiding the tumble dryer and hanging clothes out to dry instead, using the ‘off’ switch when you’re not using electronic equipment and keeping the lid on pans when you cook.

* Based on a minimum tank size and fill up of 50 litres. Comparison between a standard gasoline and that same standard gasoline containing our instantaneous fuel economy formula; urban cycle comparison between a standard diesel and that same standard diesel containing our instantaneous fuel economy formula. Actual savings may vary according to vehicle, driving conditions and driving style.

Londoners Life 8 by Phil Ryan.

Posted on by

Londoners Life 8 – by Phil Ryan

Well, in London, Christmas and the New Year are truly over now. It’s the end to that weird kind of period of semi-social vacuum. Londoners generally indulge in the early sales tradition (strikes permitting) and catching up with all the less important friends on their list. It’s a brief respite that many enjoy. But now we’re all back with a vengeance – coping with the new EVERYTHING IS GOING UP mantra that the London authorities are now teaching us to swallow.

From Oyster Cards to restaurants, the price of everything is on the increase. But the London way is to shrug and just carry on as usual. I watched people on the London News just rolling their eyes at the various reporters’ daft questions. As if to say: “Huh? This is London – plus we have no choice. Asking us how we feel is a pointless exercise. We don’t have time to feel! We’re Londoners. Busy busy.”

So what are my London predictions for this year?

Well, house prices don’t seem to be heading down, no matter what the market does. So expect the rental market prices to keep heading skywards. And the price for first-time flat buyers to remain tantalisingly out of reach – unless you’re 12 and from Qatar or Russia – in which case you’ll buy the building from your pocket money. Plus you’ll sadly notice an explosion of posher estate agents appearing in your area. Luxury properties will remain immune to the price issues and continue to rise. You’ll see the expansion of trendy middle class folk fleeing to Lidl and Aldi (as seen in all the fashion mags where various ladies enthuse about their products) and you’ll see lots more branches of said lower cost German brands appearing.

I visited a friend the other day and they were enthusing about their tins of low cost and catchily named schweinekartoffelaffensuppe from those lovely well-known folk at Krauten Valley Fabrik GMBH and some huge packets of weird looking cakes called Kuchenzuckertortestrassezitrone from Panzer Backerie 17. The kids love them apparently, but are now all diabetic.

You can expect a lot more London local high streets to empty of smaller shops and fill with shuttered fronts as the huge shop opening programme of Tesco and Sainsbury continue to suck the life from them. In my own area, we have two mini Tesco’s about eight minutes from each other, now to be joined in a month’s time by a Sainsbury’s sandwiched in between them. Convenient, yes. I suppose. Food quality, sadly crap!

So, expect more small shops to bite the dust in droves, aided by the ever-increasing ramping up of parking revenues from London Councils now sending ever growing hordes of Parking Attendants, or whatever new name they’re calling them, out onto the streets scaring customers away. Check out the new parking times arriving near you soon. In many areas, meters will soon run from 8.30am until midnight. As I say – you can drive where you like in London – you just can’t stop. Well, not without giving up your life savings anyway. Which means more local small shops will vanish thanks to the Council’s greed.

Unsurprisingly, because of the economic factors you’re going to see a lot more churchgoers this year. Especially among the young and fashionable. It’s a trend that’s expanding. Cool churches with bands and singers. More of an open mic night with Jesus. So Sundays are going to get busier in your area. But the crowds will all turn the other cheek which is nice.

Apart from that the Olympic juggernaut will roll on – relentless ads of people telling us how fantastic it’s going to be interspersed with the truth about ludicrous and impossible ticket prices, private roads for Olympic fat cats and the fact that the Government will be flogging all the buildings and venues to Overseas companies at knockdown bargain prices when the whole ghastly thing is over.

And expect the Underground to get worse if that’s possible. Regular upgrade closures and strikes will really be the order of the day. Hmm. That’s about it. Oh yes, I nearly forgot. Expect the West End to overflow with even more film to musical adaptations this year. I see ‘Shrek the Musical’ is on its way (good God!).  I was looking forward to ‘Saw IV the Musical’ myself but apparently it’s not been written.

So predictions over. Something I’m noticing is that real theatre is now virtually on its knees in London. It’s only kept alive by smaller groups and brave theatre collectives thankfully, but the big boys seem to have thrown in the towel generally. Three new plays came into the West End last year. Wowee! (we should take Kevin Spacey’s passport away to stop him leaving – he’s almost singlehandedly propping up real theatre – give him a knighthood or something I say)

Finally, while I’m on the subject of entertainment, this is the year of relaunches of various new London Clubs,  including the Blitz Club and possibly some new remakes of closed venues. But it will be interesting to see if the money and the appetite is there to support such ventures.

The London appetite for nostalgia shows no signs of abating as I also notice lots more old fashioned Tea Rooms opening up. Proper ones too, I’m pleased to report. Not the organic designer kind. Real cakes. Normal teas.

So that’s it. Predictions REALLY over. Doom and gloom with glimmers of hope here and there. But will any of this stop us having a good time? No. Not in the least. It’s a London thing.

A Peak into A/W Fashion 2011 – Part Two – Trends

Posted on by

We’ve taken a look at the core colours and richness which is due to explode this coming Autumn and Winter –  now it’s time to take peak at Trends.

First up, none other than Chic Fur – loyal to its spring governing in the fashion world, fur will be a big trend this year. I’m not just talking heavy fur jackets and coats – we’re talking capes too. In addition, it will be an essential accessory tool to add to more simpler, less extravagant formations and textures.

This year will see a more grown up look to women’s wear – the neutral tones and severity of black will play a significant part in portraying a subtle sharpness to women’s fashion.

Florals – Yes,  this Autumn will be making a statement with florals, from light pastels – figurative to romanticism – to deeper mulls, reds and purples. An occasion of mixing and matching with casual day wear to evening dresses.

The 70’s Look – Already making it’s statement for S/S 2011, the look for this A/W will be less hippy, and more chic. We are talking minimalist stripes teamed up with camel colour turtle necks and gently embroidered knits.

Back to the Future 90’s – Deep colours, needle-defying textures – symbolising the strength and boldness of a woman. Minimalistic meets futuristic. Though this is a featured trend that comes back and forth, this Autumn/Winter will see it strike back with force.

Lace – Yes, a niche trend to some, but bringing its versatility back for this S/S, the trend will continue its animating presence in A/W, too. Together with sheers and cut looks, lace will be the friendly option to your add-on closet.

Silks and Velvets – Silks being prominent when it comes to shirts and dresses – outerwear that would be worn more as an illustration for the evening. Velvet – enthused in jackets and capes – mustards, browns, chic camel and gorgeous ruby.

Tweed – In essence, tweed has been a female fashion must since the introduction to tweed-inspired suits and hip tucked-in belts by Chanel – reinvented by many fashion designers. This A/W is the season for tweed enthused suits and jackets – in a palette of warm browns, camel and creams.

Tweed also works in alignment to the uniform style. Returning this year, welcoming an array of blues, greys and mulls. Strikingly bold, and again, wearable in the day and an accompaniment to evening wear.

Knitwear – BIG this year! From the classic roller neck to the boyfriend’s cardigan – a flux of yarns and defining patterns and patchwork enthusiasm.

Money For Nothing – And The Trick’s No Fee

Posted on by

When Britain lost the War of American Independence in 1783, we nonchalantly withdrew, safe in the knowledge that the fledgling nation had taken on board our delights of fighting a Civil War, and subjugating and exterminating the indigenous people.

Meanwhile, Britain returned to its attempt to turn every schoolroom world map a lurid shade of pink as the British Empire expanded by wont of deciding we knew far better than the cultures of vast swathes of Africa and Asia.

From such unlikely beginnings, our special relationship with the USA has grown and grown. We were never so glad to see our former foes fight alongside us in The Great War, and there can be no doubt that the influx of tens of thousands of American troops turned the tide of a muddy, bloody stalemate.

And, while late to the party again in World War II, American forces once more helped to bring an end to six years of devastating conflict. Meanwhile, GIs (Overpaid, Oversexed, Over Here) brought nylons, gum, jazz and chocolate to a beleaguered and grey England, while getting brides – and surprise children – in return.

Glossing over our penchant for gambolling playfully at America’s feet in gratitude and thus embroiling ourselves in two unwinnable guerrilla conflicts in the Middle East, our tradition of cultural exchange continues to this day.

They gave us Elvis Presley, we gave them the Stones and Beatles. They gave us Hollywood glamour and Marilyn Monroe, we gave them Carry On and Ricky Gervais.

Not forgetting that Halloween barely existed as an event in Britain when I was a kid. The first trick-or-treater I ever heard knock on the door was around 1983.

Faced with one of the local children proclaiming ‘trick or treat’ on the doorstep, my puzzled mum replied: “Trick!” There was a brief, equally baffled pause before the child went to find someone more clued-up.

And though I’ve been a long time out of High School, I don’t recall any talk of Prom Nights in Britain until around the late 90s. The UK didn’t go in for that sort of thing, probably because the film ‘Carrie’ scared the shit out of everyone in 1976.

Suffice to say, my last day at school consisted of a myriad of shirt signings, revenge on those who had royally pissed you off during the year and hasty fumblings with girls who had suddenly become more romantic and attractive as the parting of the ways beckoned.

I digress.

Something else we’ve learned from America is how to sue.

The USA is the most litigious country on the planet. Frankly, you can get sued in America at the drop of the hat, particularly if that hat then trips someone up. And now, we’ve cottoned on to making a fast buck in the same way.

Students, the unemployed or unemployed students who, between watching Jeremy Kyle’s show about British pond life and David Dickinson’s mahogany features on The Real Deal, are no doubt familiar with those ‘no win, no fee’ adverts from legal types.

They tend to show various idiots who have fallen off ladders, tripped over lethal plastic box-ties, or swallowed a pint of weed killer in a misguided attempt to eradicate their own gene-pool, and are now holding fat cheques after successfully blaming someone else for their own incompetence – albeit not quite as fat after the victorious lawyers have taken their mammoth commission.

Trouble is, it’s really no joke. Councils now spend tens of thousands of pounds on compensation every year, ranging from people falling over pavements, being grazed by falling tree branches, hitting heads on low signs and, in the case of a landmark ruling against Hounslow Council, a £100,000 payout to a couple with learning disabilities, who were subjected to abuse by their neighbours.

Regardless of the rights or wrongs of the latter judgement, it doesn’t take a mathematician to realise that if people weren’t suing the council for tumbling over uneven pathways, there might be more money available to get them fixed.

Meanwhile, a number of councils have realised it’s cheaper and easier to fell mature trees rather than put up with the fiddly business of keeping them maintained and so cure the problem of possible conker-shaped bruising.

Speaking of cures, doctors and hospitals now routinely take out malpractice insurance in the event of a legal challenge. Not that loved ones shouldn’t have the right to compensation when something has gone wrong, but there’s something definitely amiss when a man sues the NHS for allowing him to get to 70st.

As Barbara Ellen sagely pointed out in The Observer: “I’m confused. Did his GP say to him, ‘yeah, you look great at 50st, just keep eating”? As he ballooned to the point where it became a military operation to get him to hospital, were nurses feeding him fry-ups? Well, no. Paul Mason is now 37st, thanks to gastric surgery performed by the NHS.”

So, thanks to all this ‘fall down, get rich’ culture, we now live in a Health & Safety wonderland, where school trips are cancelled because of fears of litigation, packets of peanuts come with the disclaimer ‘warning, contains nuts’ and cards for two-year-old toddlers state ‘not suitable for children under 36 months’.

I would go on, but I’ve inadvertently crushed my fingers with the iMac after rooting around for a stray crisp. Now all I have to do is find the name of a good lawyer and Apple’s arse is mine.

Image: Chris Sharp / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=584