Tag Archives: Catherine Balavage

What The World Needs Now Is Love. Balance Editor Interviews Peace Activist & Mindfulness Author

Posted on by

Annabel's Jungle Bar, annabel's, Catherine Balavage, Stephen Fulder, Sophie Scott, Mindulness, LoveIn a world that is so divided I was excited to head to Annabels to hear Sophie Scott, editor of Balance Magazine and Author and Peace Activist Stephen Fulder of What’s Beyond Mindfulness come together for a talk on mindfulness and love. Stephen Fulder was full of wisdom and Sophie Scott was adept at getting the wisdom by asking great questions. Fulder says that we have to love ourselves. It comes from within. He has spent time in Israel educating people to look differently at themselves and others. A 10-year-old Palestinian boy was so moved by Fulder and his words that he told him that he had seen so much suffering that he was sure he human heart was cold and hard, but meeting Fulder meant he then knew there was goodness in the human heart. Fulder says people have to tell themselves I am a whole human being. I love myself. That people have to be a friend of their spirit. We have to allow ourselves to be the shape we are.

When it comes with dealing with difficult and negative people he says that first; you have to look at the person. No automatic pilot. See the person and look at their pain. There will be a lot of ignorance and blindness. Protect yourself by not digesting the stuff. Refuse to let it get to you. Don’t let it get inside. Feel steady and stand your ground. Listen but do not take it in. See the buttons but do not accept it. Say ‘I see you, I see this, I let if go’.

Stephen Fulder is a buddhist but he says being buddhist does not mean taking everything but you have to challenge your ego. If you are the one in the wrong saying sorry has wisdom to it. It is gone, it is finished. A line drawn on the water is just gone. Started afresh in the garden of now.

We are conditioned to run after goals but we can stop and just be mindful. Be happy with our lives and who we are. Rather than just chasing the next thing. The key is joy.

This was a wonderful talk to discuss how we can heal division and conflict both at a societal level and also within our families and communities.  https://annabels.co.uk/events/january-wellness

Here is a link to a recent article that Fulder wrote for Balance on using mindfulness to heal conflict. https://balance.media/resolving-conflict-christmas/ Fulder is doing a tour of UK pubs bringing mindfulness to the masses called Buddha At The Bar.

Image

 

 

What’s Beyond Mindfulness is a life-changing guide on every aspect of modern life from using mindfulness to resolve conflict to how to age wisely, deal with tiredness, find fulfilment at work and make friends with your body, heart and mind. It’s a uniquely practical exploration of Buddhism in everyday life that will appeal to people of any faith and to those of none. What’s Beyond Mindfulness was a bestseller in Israel for 18 weeks and is written by leading Peace Activist Stephen Fulder, founder of the Israel Insight Society which has been at the helm of peace talks between Palestinians and Israelis and guided thousands of people in Israel and worldwide in exploring Buddhist teachings. The book is endorsed by Jack Kornfield and James Baraz.

The book is available here.

Exclusive Paddy Ashdown Interview ‘I Am Devoted To The Liberal Democrats’

Posted on by

Here is part three of our exclusive Paddy Ashdown interview. Take a look at part one and two.

That’s a good answer. In your diaries you are clear about how close you were to Labour before and after the ’97 election, and that PR was the price of coalition. Given that the Lib Dems eventually went into coalition with the Tories, with just a promise of a referendum on AV, how do you think events would have unfolded if you’d accepted a similar deal in ’97?”

I don’t know. I mean I can’t take you through the what would have happened parts of history. I suspect the circumstances would have been very different if we also had the referendum on a sensible system rather than a lesser sensible one. I don’t think you would have had the leading party in the country at the time deliberately doing what they could at the time to destroy the motion and the national newspapers at the time supporting them. That is the ‘what would have happened’ bits of history and we could all spend hours deciding how the world would be different  if Britain hadn’t won the battle of Waterloo; It’s very interesting but it doesn’t bear much relevance.

Paddy_Ashdown_3You also said in your diaries that you were worried that the party would start with Gladstone and end with Ashdown, what do you think was your greatest achievement as the Liberal Democrat Leader?

I have never ever believed that I am a good judge of my own achievements, I leave that to others to decide on what your achievements are. I was very proud to lead the Liberal Democrats for eleven years, I loved it, I am devoted to them. I was also very proud to be the International High Representative in Bosnia for the British Government.  No doubt I made mistakes in both of those jobs, probably quite a lot of them. When you have the privilege of doing jobs like that you can use it to your advantage and I quickly realised what I was good at and what I was bad at.

What do you think will happen with the Liberal Democrats in 2015?

I actually think all the polls now are wrong. I have to rely, as I always have done, on the good judgement of the british electorate, I think we have a good story to tell, we have been in government, everyone said we couldn’t do it. I think we have been more united than the Tories, tougher than the Tories, and played a really serious role in bringing our country through a crisis. If I know the British electorate at all well, when the moment comes, I think we’ll reap the dividends of that. I also think that the British electorate probably, having had the benefit of the coalition may not be very happy returning to absolute power in anybody’s hands. Also, having a coalition of some sort forces people to work together instead of spending all their time scratching each other’s eyes out. Maybe that is a much better system than what we had in the past. Those two things will help us I think.
Who Is Your Favourite Politician?

I think as someone said to me; ‘Who is my hero?’ and I said William Wilberforce who is as unlike me as you could possibly get, apart from Gladstone of course, who is the greatest Prime Minister this country has ever had both internationally and domestically, he was a man who said, “We did not march across the law of anti-slavery, we did not march towards a monument in the distance, we gathered friends like flowers along the way.” and I think he was an extraordinary politician.

Do you think we should have intervened in Syria?

No, I don’t. I’m against intervening in Syria while the opposition is so fractured and defused. Anyways, they’re being funded by extremist elements and encouraging extremist elements so, no, I thought that would lead us towards an engagement in what I think is a widening religious war. I did however think we should intervene in defense of one of the principles pillars of international law; a prohibition on the use of chemical weapons that has stood since 1926 and strained even Hitler and Stalin, and I thought that unless we were prepared to show strength to Assad, not by intervention because we wouldn’t have done, but there was a price to pay that was painful for breaking this principle of international law, then it would only have encouraged the wider spread of chemical weapons. So, no, I don’t think we should have intervened in Syria but I do think we should defend International Law and indeed one of the most important pillars of the international law that preserves some semblance of civilised behaviour in the prosecution of wars.

You testified against Slobodan Milosevic. Was that scary?

No, it wasn’t scary. It was more scary being bombarded by his troops. I mean, I testified about being in the middle of the Albanian villages when they were being bombarded by the main battle units of his army, that was much more scary.

I can understand that. You have done a lot of different things in your life. What is your favourite?

I think there is nothing I’ve done that will match my sense of pride of being a member of parliament for my own community of Yeovil. There is no thing you could ever do that matched being the representative in Westminster of the community you live in and love. So if somebody said you can have one line to put on your gravestone it would be ‘Member of Parliament for Yeovil’.

What was it like being an intelligence officer?

I was a perfectly ordinary diplomat

What is the best advice you have ever received?

Never stop learning.

Thank you Paddy.

 What do you think?

MumsThread On The Kindness of Strangers

Posted on by

baby, shared parental leave, feminism, equality, childcare, leave, maternal, work, working mothers, lean inMy last few pieces have been quite negative so I thought I would share something positive today: just how kind people can be when you have a child. That knowing look that other parents give you, that it-is-going-to-be-okay smile that complete stranger do to make you feel better. I remember trying to get into my flat once and struggling to get the pram through the heavy door, a man in a van stopped and asked if I needed help, followed by two other people. That was three people in a row. I was really touched and it made my day. I didn’t want to put any of them out- the pram just needed an extra push at that point- but when you are a parent, especially one with a baby, any kindness really does make your day.

I have had people come up to me in restaurants and tell them how beautiful my son is (I know, proud mum alert). Babies and toddlers are social lubricant. I have talked to more people since I had my son than I had in years. It does feel like when you have a child you enter some kind of club. Not in a bad way, just in a way that other parents will usually strike up a conversation or try to help if they can. Having a child opens up an entire new world. I took my son to Baby Ballet recently, and it was so sweet seeing him with all of the other children, but it was also great being surrounded by other parents. Having a child can be an isolating experience, any kindness you can get, any human contact at all can make or break a day. I am grateful to every single person who took their time. Even if it was just a smile.

What are your experiences of parenting? Share them with us by emailing frostmagazine@gmail.com, comment below or tweet us at @frostmag

 

Christmas Ideas For Book Lovers

Posted on by

Perfect Books For Christmas. 

A brilliant book of poetry from the end of a relationship, all the way to the start. Like reading an open wound, but fun. 

Running Upon The Wires is Kate Tempest’s first book of free-standing poetry since the acclaimed Hold Your Own. In a beautifully varied series of formal poems, spoken songs, fragments, vignettes and ballads, Tempest charts the heartbreak at the end of one relationship and the joy at the beginning of a new love; but also tells us what happens in between, when the heart is pulled both ways at once.

Running Upon The Wires is, in a sense, a departure from her previous work, and unashamedly personal and intimate in its address – but will also confirm Tempest’s role as one of our most important poetic truth–tellers: it will be no surprise to readers to discover that she’s no less a direct and unflinching observer of matters of the heart than she is of social and political change. Running Upon The Wires is a heartbreaking, moving and joyous book about love, in its endings and in its beginnings.

Available here.

A fast-paced thriller that never lets you go.

Give me Your hand By Megan Abbott.

You told each other everything. Then she told you too much.

Kit has risen to the top of her profession and is on the brink of achieving everything she wanted. She hasn’t let anything stop her.

But now someone else is standing in her way – Diane. Best friends at seventeen, their shared ambition made them inseparable. Until the day Diane told Kit her secret – the worst thing she’d ever done, the worst thing Kit could imagine – and it blew their friendship apart.

Kit is still the only person who knows what Diane did. And now Diane knows something about Kit that could destroy everything she’s worked so hard for.

How far would Kit go, to make the hard work, the sacrifice, worth it in the end? What wouldn’t she give up? Diane thinks Kit is just like her. Maybe she’s right. Ambition: it’s in the blood . . .

Available here.

I really loved this book. Sarah Manguso has a way of articulating life’s great truths. I particularly loved the bits on motherhood. 

Sarah Manguso kept a meticulous diary for twenty-five years. ‘I wanted to end each day with a record of everything that had ever happened,’ she explains. But this simple statement conceals a terror that she might miss out something important. Maintaining that diary became a daily attempt to remember every detail, to stop the passage of time.

Then Manguso became pregnant and had a child, and these two events slowly and irrevocably changed her relationship to her life and also to her diary.

In this moving memoir Sarah Manguso confesses her life long struggle to let go. Ongoingness is a beautiful, daring and honest and shifting work that grapples with writing and motherhood.

Available here.

A fascinating and well-written book on the law. Impossible to put down. 

“I’m a barrister, a job which requires the skills of a social worker, relationship counsellor, arm-twister, hostage negotiator, named driver, bus fare-provider, accountant, suicide watchman, coffee-supplier, surrogate parent and, on one memorable occasion, whatever the official term is for someone tasked with breaking the news to a prisoner that his girlfriend has been diagnosed with gonorrhoea.”

Welcome to the world of the Secret Barrister. These are the stories of life inside the courtroom. They are sometimes funny, often moving and ultimately life-changing.

How can you defend a child-abuser you suspect to be guilty? What do you say to someone sentenced to ten years who you believe to be innocent? What is the law and why do we need it?

And why do they wear those stupid wigs?

From the criminals to the lawyers, the victims, witnesses and officers of the law, here is the best and worst of humanity, all struggling within a broken system which would never be off the front pages if the public knew what it was really like.

Both a searing first-hand account of the human cost of the criminal justice system, and a guide to how we got into this mess, The Secret Barrister wants to show you what it’s really like and why it really matters.

Available here.

Searingly honest. This book is certainly one of the bravest and most personal ever written. Adam Kay has a huge talent for writing and comedy. It is not for the faint hearted, nor for anyone pregnant or thinking of having children! I almost threw up or fainted a few times reading it. Mostly as it reminded me of my C section. This book is a best seller and it is easy to see why.

Welcome to the life of a junior doctor: 97-hour weeks, life and death decisions, a constant tsunami of bodily fluids, and the hospital parking meter earns more than you.

Scribbled in secret after endless days, sleepless nights and missed weekends, Adam Kay’s This is Going to Hurt provides a no-holds-barred account of his time on the NHS front line. Hilarious, horrifying and heartbreaking, this diary is everything you wanted to know – and more than a few things you didn’t – about life on and off the hospital ward.

As seen on ITV’s Zoe Ball Book Club.

This edition includes extra diary entries and a new afterword by the author.

Available here.

Timely, well-written and full of great lines. I recommend sitting down and reading in one sitting as I did. Endlessly engaging and very witty. 

Kathy is a writer. Kathy is getting married. It’s the summer of 2017 and the whole world is falling apart.

From a Tuscan hotel for the super-rich to a Brexit-paralysed UK, Kathy spends the first summer of her 40s trying to adjust to making a lifelong commitment just as Trump is tweeting the world into nuclear war. But it’s not only Kathy who’s changing. Political, social and natural landscapes are all in peril. Fascism is on the rise, truth is dead, the planet is hotting up. Is it really worth learning to love when the end of the world is nigh? And how do you make art, let alone a life, when one rogue tweet could end it all.

Olivia Laing radically rewires the novel in a brilliant, funny and emphatically raw account of love in the apocalypse. A Goodbye to Berlin for the 21st century, Crudo charts in real time what it was like to live and love in the horrifying summer of 2017, from the perspective of a commitment-phobic peripatetic artist who may or may not be Kathy Acker . . .

Available here.

Another book from the brilliant Sarah Manguso. This one has been defaced by one of my children with crayon. Apologies for that. Manguso says “Think of this as a short book composed entirely of what I hoped would be a long book’s quotable passages.” It is precisely that. Smart and gorgeous. A must read. 
300 Arguments by Sarah Manguso is at first glance a group of unrelated aphorisms, but the pieces reveal themselves as a masterful arrangement that steadily gathers power. Manguso’s arguments about writing, desire, ambition, relationships, and failure are pithy, unsentimental, and defiant, and they add up to an unexpected and renegade wisdom literature. Lines you will underline, write in notebooks and read to the person sitting next to you, that will drift back into your mind as you try to get to sleep.

Available here.

This is an original and intelligent book. I found it hard to put down. Marianne Power really draws you in. Honest and brilliantly written. A great book even for those not interested in self help.

Marianne Power was stuck in a rut. Then one day she wondered: could self-help books help her find the elusive perfect life?

She decided to test one book a month for a year, following their advice to the letter. What would happen if she followed the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People? Really felt The Power of Now? Could she unearth The Secret to making her dreams come true?

What begins as a clever experiment becomes an achingly poignant story. Because self-help can change your life – but not necessarily for the better . . .

Help Me! is an irresistibly funny and incredibly moving book about a wild and ultimately redemptive journey that will resonate with anyone who’s ever dreamed of finding happiness.

Perfect for readers who enjoyed Everything I know About Love by Dolly Alderton, Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon and Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

Available here.

I loved the sisters in this book. It would make the perfect Christmas movie. A wonderful and entertaining Christmas novel to get into the spirit. 

It’s not what’s under the Christmas tree, but who’s around it that matters most.

All Suzanne McBride wants for Christmas is her three daughters happy and at home. But when sisters Posy, Hannah and Beth return to their family home in the Scottish Highlands, old tensions and buried secrets start bubbling to the surface.

Suzanne is determined to create the perfect family Christmas, but the McBrides must all face the past and address some home truths before they can celebrate together . . .

This Christmas indulge in some me-time and enjoy this uplifting and heart-warming story from international bestseller Sarah Morgan. Full of romance, laughter and sisterly drama, The Christmas Sisters is the perfect book to curl up with this festive season.

Available here.

the crossway book, pilgrimage

The Crossway is a brave book with a great story. Guy Stagg was having mental health issues and decided to go on a pilgrimage. He walked more than 5,500 kilometres from Canterbury to Jerusalem. His journey is written brilliantly in these pages and is a riveting read. Perfect for Christmas. A great book.

In 2013 Guy Stagg made a pilgrimage from Canterbury to Jerusalem. Though a non-believer, he began the journey after suffering several years of mental illness, hoping the ritual would heal him. For ten months he hiked alone on ancient paths, crossing ten countries and more than 5,500 kilometres. The Crossway is an account of this extraordinary adventure.

Having left home on New Year’s Day, Stagg climbed over the Alps in midwinter, spent Easter in Rome with a new pope, joined mass protests in Istanbul and survived a terrorist attack in Lebanon. Travelling without support, he had to rely each night on the generosity of strangers, staying with monks and nuns, priests and families. As a result, he gained a unique insight into the lives of contemporary believers and learnt the fascinating stories of the soldiers and saints, missionaries and martyrs who had followed these paths before him.

The Crossway is a book full of wonders, mixing travel and memoir, history and current affairs. At once intimate and epic, it charts the author’s struggle to walk towards recovery, and asks whether religion can still have meaning for those without faith.

Available here.

We Have To Stop Telling Parents To Enjoy Every Moment

Posted on by

parenting I am over thirteen months into being a mother of two and there are no words for how hard it is. Since using words is my entire job description that is serious indeed. In those thirteen months I have not had one good nights sleep and my bones feel like they are eighty. Yet I am constantly told by people to ‘enjoy every moment’. As if I am some kind of monster if every moment with my children is not complete joy. Now I love my children more than anything else in this world, (Well, tied with my husband), but pretending parenting is nothing but sweetness and light does no one any favours.

At the moment my daughter is making it hard to write this post because she is doing an adorable peek a boo game and smiling at me, but earlier today she screamed for hours and I could do nothing to comfort her. She is teething and it is one of the hardest things ever. In truth, an unbelievable amount of pressure is put on parents, and on mothers in particular. The standard to be a good mother is one so high you would need a seat on a spacecraft just to reach it. So I write this piece in defiance of the standards that are impossible high, and for all of the people who tell me to ‘just enjoy it’ when I am having a bad day. I mean, when they are doing something they hate, going to the dentist for example, do I tell them to enjoy it because life is short? No, I don’t. Telling sleep-deprived, exhausted parents that they are lucky and to just be happy does no one any favours. Especially as some of them might have post-natal depression. Putting pressure on people to be happy, instead of acknowledging how hard parenting is, just creates unhappiness and pressure for people who are already under a huge amount of pressure.

To be fair I do remind myself that my childrens littleness will go in a flash and I should enjoy it as much as I can. But I am a human being for FFS. Not a robot that can take every crappy moment with a smile. I do not enjoy it when my children are in pain and I cannot comfort them. I do not enjoy the endless sleepless nights and the SAS-like torture of it. I do to like it when my children squabble. I also do not love wiping bottoms, cleaning, tidying or all of the accidental head-butts and scratches. Nor do I enjoy dealing with tantrums, or even a myriad of other domestic crap. And that is okay. It really is.

Frost Loves Mod Shoes

Posted on by

Mod shoes, red shoes, shoes,

Of all of the things that make you feel great in life; a good pair of shoes is certainly one of them. These glamorous, yet comfortable, shoes from Mod are a show stopper. In look-at-me red, and with a cute buckle; they are the perfect Autumn shoe. Check Mod Shoes out here. Their shoes look great and are well made. We have our eyes on a pair of brogues.

Is That a Big Number? By Andrew C. A. Elliott

Posted on by

is that a big number, maths,

This is a fun and riveting book. Written in an accessible and engaging way, it is unputdownable.

Impressive statistics are thrown at us every day – the cost of health care; the size of an earthquake; the distance to the nearest star; the number of giraffes in the world.

We know all these numbers are important – some more than others – and it’s vaguely unsettling when we don’t really have a clear sense of how remarkable or how ordinary they are. How do we work out what these figures actually mean? Are they significant, should we be worried, or excited, or impressed? How big is big, how small is small?

With this entertaining and engaging book, help is at hand. Andrew Elliott gives us the tips and tools to make sense of numbers, to get a sense of proportion, to decipher what matters. It is a celebration of a numerate way of understanding the world. It shows how number skills help us to understand the everyday world close at hand, and how the same skills can be stretched to demystify the bigger numbers that we find in the wider contexts of science, politics, and the universe.

Entertaining, full of practical examples, and memorable concepts, Is That A Big Number? renews our relationship with figures. If numbers are the musical notes with which the symphony of the universe is written, and you’re struggling to hear the tune, then this is the book to get you humming again.

Is That a Big Number? By Andrew C. A. Elliott is available here.

Principled Spying: The Ethics of Secret Intelligence | Book of The Week

Posted on by

principled spying

This book is both timely and much needed. How far should a state go to protect its people? Does the ‘greater good’ argument ever give just cause? This book has lots of fascinating history on spycraft and sound arguments on ethics. A riveting read and a well deserved Book of the Week. 

The question of how far a state should authorise its agents to go in seeking and using secret intelligence is one of the big unresolved issues of public policy for democracies today. The tension between security and privacy sits at the heart of broader debates concerning the relationship between the citizen and the state. The public needs-and wants-protection from the very serious threats posed by domestic and international terrorism, from serious criminality, to be safe in using cyberspace, and to have active foreign and aid policies to help resolve outstanding international problems. Secret intelligence is widely accepted to be essential to these tasks, and to be a legitimate function of the nation state, yet the historical record is that it also can pose significant ethical risks.

Principled Spying lays out a framework for thinking about public policy in this area by clarifying the relationship between ethics and intelligence, both human and technical. In this book, intelligence expert Mark Phythian teams up with the former head of Britain’s GCHQ signals and intelligence agency to try to resolve the knotty question of secret intelligence-and how far it should be allowed to go in a democratic society.

Available here.