Tag Archives: feminism

Top 10 things women want to do with a free day

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puppy, sleeping puppy, puppies, cute animalsIt appears that during the average working week women clock in at least 20 per cent more hours than men.
A major study claims that because of housework and childcare, career women are working much longer hours than men.
A study by researchers at Cambridge University in England has found that women who work outside the
home still do the bulk of the domestic chores, including picking the kids up from school, helping with
homework, cleaning and cooking. So even though men tend to spend more hours at the office, often
because they are in management positions and earn higher salaries, it is the women who are actually on-
the-go for longer.
It’s certainly not 50-50 in terms of work on the job and at home then.

 

A recent survey undertaken by luxury tanning brand Vita Liberata attracted thousands of entries. Their question? Purely and simply, what would a woman do if they had 24 hours entirely to themselves, with no responsibilities, no financial issues, no worries at all.
Top 10 responses:
1. 78% were so knackered all they wanted was a day to rest
2. Shopping! No surprises there ..
3. 8% wanted to go for cocktails
4. The top 3 destinations to spend a day ‘out’ are New York,
London or Paris
5. Go to Nashville and visit the home of Elvis Presley
6. Watch Barcelona football team – at their home ground
7. 98% chose not to include their husband in their day off
8. Do makeup on a Hollywood film set
9. 5% wanted an active day – bungee jumping, skiing, white
water rafting, being the most popular
10. Drive the 5 fastest cars in the world
* Taken from Vita Liberata’s Liberation Day Survey
Most surprising result is that all most women* want is a Spa Day… time to themselves, to rest, relax and be pampered. Lack of imagination or just sheer exhaustion??
What would you do with a free day?

Should You Change Your Name After You Marry? | The Wedding Diary

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We live in modern times and tradition is something ever-changing. Some traditional things last, and some just don’t. Others, like a woman taking her husbands name after they marry, actually become controversial. My favourite motto to live by in life is, ‘live and let live’. But, yet, it seems we can’t.

Some woman see submission or sexism when a woman changes her name. But where did that woman get her name? And where did her mother get hers?, and her grandmother? To stop it now feels like closing the stable after the horse has long bolted.

All of this does make me sound pro changing my name, I know. I am in a bit of a muddle with it to be honest. Part of my thinks it is something to do if you have children, so you can be a family ushould you change your name after you marry? wedding, weddings, name change, marriage, wedding diarynit, the stories of woman being stopped at airports because they have a different surname from their children are common. If I have children I certainly don’t want to have a different surname than them. It would just be too weird. This means I have to take my fiancee’s name, he has to take mine or we have to double-barrel our names. That is if we have children. If we don’t, does it really matter? Part of me thinks not.

There is a part in The Crucible when John Proctor has two choices: change his name or die. He chooses to die, “It is my name”, he says; “I cannot have any other”. This is a pretty extreme example but I remember watching TV with a friend. There was a woman with a very long double-barreled surname. My friend commented on the ridiculousness of her name; “Oh, just lose your ego woman!” But it is not just ego is it? It’s your identity. My name is me. Well, actually, my name is a stage name, albeit one that I use for everything now. It belonged to my grandmother, a Lithuanian who died when she was only 40 of kidney failure. Not surprisingly, I would like this to live on. I am only a handful of people in the world with the surname ‘Balavage’. An Anglo take on ‘Bullovich’. You see? Surnames, they change. As does identity. I even pronounce my surname differently than she would have: Ba Lav age, with a quiet ‘V’. At my friends Nick Cohen’s book launch, the amazing writer Francis Wheen complimented my on my surname, ‘Like a glamorous French actress’. I have pronounced it the way he said it ever since.

So when I marry I have a few choices: change my real name and keep my stage name, change my name completely and just keep Balavage for acting, or double-barrel my name. I have until next year to decide, but I am already in a pickle. What to do?

It is not about feminism or inequality. If a woman wants to take her new husbands name, she should be able to, if a man wants to change his, he should and if a woman wants to keep or double-barrel her name, she should be able to without rudeness: it’s her identity after all: Live and let live.

 What do you think? Will you change your name?

 

Should You Go To Brazil? A Pondering On The Brazilian Wax.

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Pubic_hair_style_Full_WaxThere is a scene in Sex & The City where Carrie and her friends go to Los Angeles, Carrie goes to a new beautician for a wax who ‘takes everything’. Later, when the girls are discussing their shock about being ‘totally bald down there’, Samantha tells Charlotte that her husband Trey, who has been having some problems in the bedroom, might finally be able to consummate their marriage as ‘he probably hasn’t been to Brazil before’. After this episode, the Brazilian wax became hugely popular. But what is it, where did it come from and should women really be getting them? Let’s find out.

 

With a Brazilian wax all of the pubic hair is removed, front and back, by waxing. Ouch. Some people like to leave a thin strip of pubic hair, referred to as a ‘landing strip’.

 

The Brazilian wax, apparently, was first named by the J. Sisters salon in Manhattan in 1987.

 

According to Wikipedia, some people claim that the concept of the Brazilian came from a letter documenting in 1500 AD, which read: “…suas vergonhas tão altas e tão çarradinhas e tão limpas das cabeleiras que de as nós muito bem olharmos não tínhamos nenhuma vergonha” (English translation: “their private parts were so exposed, so healthy and so hairless, that looking upon them we felt no shame”).

 

Brazilian waxing is the most controversial form of waxing, Brazilian waxing is unpopular amongst some women (and men), especially feminists who claim the only people who like it are men who want their women to look underage. Which may be why it is hugely popular with porn stars.

 

Model and Socialite Lisa B said that when she got a Brazilian at a salon in LA that “It was so painful I collapsed. I only fainted, but I was nearly carted off to hospital and I have vowed never to try it again.”

 

Other negatives are that it is a painful experience and if it is not done properly it can cause infection, prolonged bleeding or swelling of the area. It helps to take ibuprofen an hour before you have your Brazilian wax (this is what Madonna does).

 

The positives are that many women say it improves their sex life. If you get it done frequently then the hair will become weaker and the regrowth will become less as time goes on.

 

A Brazilian wax usually last between three to six weeks, but this depends on your hair regrowth rate. Some irritation may occur too, try some aloe vera on the irritated area. If you have ingrown hair (which will look like little bumps. They happen when the hair is not pulled out correctly. The hair curls back in on itself or grows sideways into the skin) you can buy beauty products that specialise in the improvement of ingrown hair. If you are confident you can even tackle the problem with some tweezers, just be careful.

 

The new rise in Brazilian waxing may be because of The Only Way Is Essex and the popularity of vajazzling, which was pioneered by Amy Childs.

 

Interestingly, New Jersey has banned the Brazilian wax for health reasons. This happened after two women in New Jersey were hospitalised after having the procedure.

 

If you want to have a Brazilian do so. Just make sure you go to a salon which is hygienic and knows what they are doing, take a painkiller before and make sure you are not prone to infection.

These Shoes Aren’t Made For Walking: Why Are Shoes Made For Women So Painful?

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“That bone”, my doctor says, “That bone is just not supposed to be there.” “Oh”, I reply. This really cannot be good. I ask for clarification just to be sure, hoping that somehow I am hearing wrong, or it isn’t as bad as it sounds. “Do you mean the bone has moved from one part of my foot to the other?” “Yes” he replies. “If it gets worse we will have to operate.” I only have one more thought: f**k!

So it turns out that the shoes I have been wearing are too high, too small and too tight. In a way I know this is all my fault. I always go out shopping for sensible shoes that I can walk in but also look good. Yes every time I come back with a pair of shoes that can only be worn for a few hours at most. Some of them are more ornament than shoe.

It’s not a height thing. One of my biggest problems with fashion magazines are when women who are 5.5 complain about being short, saying they need heels for extra height. The average woman is 5.3. So if 5.3 is average, not short, then the fashion ideal of a woman being 5.10 is not only unrealistic, it is also taller than the average male of 5.9. In fact, the majority of women in the entire world are under 5.6. I am 5.5 and don’t need 4 inch heels to feel tall. I believe height is another thing that the media uses to make women feel bad about themselves, oh, and so they then buy 4 inch heels that are expensive and cripple their feet.

The faithful Clarks shoes. By the end of the day they hurt but they score points for being walkable, long-lasting and relatively comfortable.

The faithful Clarks shoes. By the end of the day they hurt but they score points for being wearable, long-lasting and relatively comfortable.

Upon hearing the news my fiance bans me from wearing heels but shortly relents under my withering look. I still love heels, some outfits need them and I want to, at least occasionally, party in heels. I promise to only wear them occasionally. The only problem is that I had no flat shoes apart from one pair of ballet shoes that were very tight at the front and were just too flat. I have a high arch and I need some support.

I decide to go shopping and my first purchase is a pair of Timbaland trainers. They cost £89 but I manage to get them for £55 at a Glamour Magazine shopping party. Bargain and they are very comfortable.

They are strictly daywear though, and cannot be worn to smart functions. So I still have the same problem. I buy some ankle boots from ASOS but they have some kind of default and cut into my leg, making it bleed, and also ruin some of my expensive tights. I end up mostly wearing a pair of Clarks ankle boot which I bought in 2008. They have a heel of a few inches and have only need resoled once. Score points for Clarks.

I keep looking for perfect shoes that are not too high or too tight. I just want gorgeous, wearable shoes but it just seems that womens shoes aren’t made for walking. Flat shoes hurt my feet and my shins, high heels hurt just as much. Every shoe I try on does not seem to have the wearer in mind. They are too fancy or the straps are badly placed. The heels are too skinny, the front too pointy and so obviously not made for toes. It is like some kind of Chinese foot binding. Mens shoes look good and are comfortable. Do you really think they would put up with this crap?

The limited edition Converse. Comfortable and fashionable.

The limited edition Converse. Comfortable and fashionable.

In the end I just relent and buy another pair of Converse. I had worn my last pair to death and had not replaced them. Instead of the ubiquitous black I buy a limited edition pair. As for a pair of actual comfortable shoes? My quest continues….

The Five Worst Things A Woman Can Do

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GillianPublicityShotPeople can be their own worst enemies sometimes, and women are no exception. In fact, I believe women can be very hard on themselves. So I have made a list of the top five worst things a woman can do to damage her life.

Settling Down With Someone You Do Not Love.

The biological clock is probably the worst thing that ever happened to a woman. It can make us go a bit crazy. A male friend once described woman in their mid-thirties as ‘terrified and terrifying’. Quite unfair and he was about the same age himself. Worst than that, it can make some woman settle for a man they do not love so they can get married and have children. I completely understand this, I really do. Even in 2013 there is a ‘status’ thing between married and unmarried woman, and there certainly is one between the childless and those with children.

The media is full of stories about leaving it too late and this can cloud a woman’s judgement. But deep down, you always know whether or not you love someone. Relationships are hard enough if you do love someone. A relationship chosen because of your biological clock fears will never be a happy one, nor last.

It can also be hard to end a relationship with someone you do not love anymore. The fear of being single is a very real one for a lot of people, but it is only fair on you and the person you are dating. You will both find partners that you are meant to be with.

I came across this amazing quote from Kelly Brook in Easy Living magazine: “I’m not scared to walk away when things aren’t working. I’m not scared of being single, of not having kids. What I am scared of is being stuck in something negative. That is what I am most proud of: having the confidence to know I deserve everything.”

Starve Herself

The pressure to be thin can be tremendous. This pressure comes from the media and other women. It rarely comes from men. If a man loves you he won’t mind if you pack on a couple of pounds.

When I was in drama school I heard stories of women eating cotton balls soaked in orange juice to stay thin. The very idea of it is insane. If you starve yourself your body will not get any nutrients. You will damage your fertility, your health and your hair will fall out. I have heard way too much about starvation diets, that is not a diet, it is anorexia. Let’s stop it now.

Another thing: The whole Curvy versus Skinny thing is a war that should never be waged. Different people are supposed to be different sizes. Diversity is beautiful.

Let a Man Pay For Everything

There is nothing wrong with the man paying for the first date in my opinion. Especially as the women has already probably spent a fortune on a new dress and beauty treatments. However, letting a man pay for everything gives him the control in the relationship. It also makes it harder to walk away if the relationships stops working and you are not financially stable. A woman should always have a means of making money. If not, she has no control of her own future. Virginia Woolf has a famous quote that ‘A woman must have money and a room of her own’. I could not put it better myself.


Judge Another Woman’s Choices.

Woman can be really hard on each other. The truth is that sometimes when we judge it is actually a mixture of envy and admiration. Life does not give everything to one person. When you make a choice another option ends. The grass can seem greener on the other side. When women judge each other it holds us all back. It is time to live and let live.

 

Take Her Foot Off The Pedal

Another thing that some woman do is slowing down or quitting, even before they realise they have done so. When you start to think about children you can take your foot off the gas pedal. This can manifest in not applying for promotions, not going after something with a passion or not following a dream. The expectation of getting pregnant can stop you in your tracks, but do not let it. You never know what will happen in life and maybe you will not want to be a stay-at-home mum. Stay passionate and go after what you want.

What do you think women do to sabotage themselves?

Most Common Job For Women ‘Same as in the 1950s’. Progress? What Progress?

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charlize theron oscars 2013

Today may be International Women’s Day but nothing proves we still have a long way to go than the results of the latest US Census. Being a secretary is still the number one job for women in the US. Four million Americans are working as ‘secretaries and admin assistants’ and 96% of those are women.

Nothing is more depressing for equality than the fact that the most common job for women is the same than in the 1950s. Only 16.6% of women in America hold board-level jobs. In fact, globally, only 10% of workers in executive position are female. A rather depressing statistic.

It is not much better in the UK, which this excellent article from the BBC highlights. They say:

Fewer than a third of the UK’s most influential jobs are held by women, figures compiled by BBC News show.

Women occupy on average 30.9% of the most senior positions across 11 key sectors analysed by the BBC, including business, politics and policing.

The armed forces and judiciary have the fewest women in top posts – 1.3% and 13.2% respectively – while secondary education has the most (36.7%).

Campaign group the Fawcett Society said progress was still too slow.

“Men outnumber women by four to one in Parliament and only a third of local councillors are women,” the group’s Preethi Sundaram said.

“When we look at the top quarters of power in the political world there are only five women there out of 22… It’s quite an appalling fact really.”

According to the BBC News website’s findings, women represent

1.3% of brigadiers (or their equivalent) and above across the Army, Navy and RAF
13.2% of the most senior judges (High Court and above, including Senators of the College of Justice in Scotland)
14.2% of university vice-chancellors
16.6% of the most senior staff in the police (Acpo ranks and above)
34.7% of the senior civil service

This should be highlighted today and not forgotten. How many articles have you read with a successful women and they always ask them how they juggle having kids with a career, or if it is possible to? They don’t really ask men this question. That is the main problem. Women are still expected to do the bulk of childcare. To have it all and be everything to everyone. A women who puts her career first is judged, but it takes two parents to raise a child.

I think it is time for a change. What do you think?

Equal Education Unequal Pay

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It’s 2012 and close to four years after the Lilly ledbetter Fair Pay Act was signed into law. Surely, the gender wage gap has been closed, right? Wrong.

Even with moves toward equalizing pay between men and women, men still make almost 20% more than women in nearly all industries. This is despite the fact that women receive the same education, with the same tuition price tags and levels of debt upon graduation. The only major differences are that there are more ladies in college and they have better average GPAs to boot. The benefits of paying women their fair share include increasing the GDP while reducing the poverty rates for families.

Check out the infographic below to see what else the gender wage gap affects.

Equal_Education_Unequal_Pay

Equal Education Unequal Pay by LearnStuff.com

God Save My Shoes | Film Review

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Women love shoes. Not all women, but enough to make the shoe industry in the US worth 40 billion dollars. 60% of which is solely from women. Vogue did a survey of it’s readers and found that they spent $9,000 a year on shoes. $9,000!! Even during the recession women never stopped buying shoes. They still bought expensive designer shoes; just less of them. At around $400 a pop.

This American documentary is incredibly good. Even for those who are not obsessed with shoes . The history is fascinating. Did you know that stiletto means “slender dagger” in Latin? This documentary was three years in the works and it is an impressive achievement.

It has an all-star cast, Kelly Rowland, Dita Von Teese, Manolo Blahnik, Stacey Ferguson, Christian Louboutin to name just a few. The relationship between sex and shoes is explored, as is feminism and the pain of wearing heels. One (obviously male) designer states that women like a little bit of pain when they wear high heels. He is wrong, he should just make more of an effort to make them more comfortable.

This is a good documentary. Worth a watch for men and women alike. A massive accomplishment. Also, with every purchase of this DVD, Caid Productions will donate a pair of shoes to someone in need. Thumbs up all round.

www.godsavemyshoes.com