Tag Archives: ian hare

Playing Tag With Cheryl Cole And Jennifer Aniston

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Do you know, I’m almost embarrassed to post this, but it’ll be interesting – promise, even if it’s just for the top 10 further down.

Years of writing news stories and articles. Flogging over a hot keyboard to gain journalism qualifications. It means absolutely sweet FA if no one reads the results of the writer’s Herculean labours.

Journalism, as my colleague Holly Thomas covered recently, is an over-subscribed business. Writing seems to be something a lot of people think they can do.

Let me tell you guys, ranting over Twitter while misspelling everything ain’t journalism. But everyone’s out there, blogging, tweeting, Facebooking (or whatever today’s adjective for being on Facebook is) and rambling on for 18 pages – FRONT AND BACK!

Must be the glamour that attracts people to writing. The joys of getting rained on, on a bitterly frozen Arctic day covering an escaped prisoner from Feltham Young Offenders, waiting for the police to acknowledge your press card while reluctant witnesses hurtle off down the street pursued by journos and TV crew.

Yeah, I’ve done that, and covered a few sporting occasions, which can be another joy. Coaxing comments out of monosyllabic players and managers after they’ve just been on the receiving end of a brutal defeat.

On the bright side, I haven’t yet been clouted. Surprisingly, neither has my friend Emma who works in local news and sometimes has the unenviable task of speaking to grieving family members in search of a story.

As well as newspapers and magazines, I also write web copy for a sports website. Ah, the fun of being called a disgrace to journalism and a London-based hack on the internet. Admittedly, I’ll concede the second point.

Trouble is, that sporting web copy? Often live and very pressured. The moment you press the button, you’re out in the ether. Doesn’t matter if you spot it immediately and correct it, umpteen people around the world have seen it and already – rightly – commented on what a twat you are.

Now you may say that this is contradictory. How can I complain about journalists not being noticed and then whine about it when they are?

Fair point.

Truth is, from a purely personal point of view, I qualified in News Writing, Media Law and Shorthand among others. So while sport has been kind to me in the respect that I’ve been able to keep most of the roof over my head and occasionally eat, I also like to think I have a wider range to offer.

And that’s what Frost does. As a writer and editor, I have a lovely medium to rattle on about pretty much anything for your enjoyment and edification.  Which brings me to the point of this article 13 paragraphs on.

While we have thousands of regular readers, getting brand new, shiny people to pop in to Frost and read us, and hopefully stay to dip in to our box of delights is all about the tags. Those little words and hooks that grab your attention – even if you didn’t want it to. Sorry, but that’s what we do. Engage.

So with that in mind, Google’s most searched terms of 2010 were apparently, in order:

1. chatroulette

2. ipad

3. justin bieber

4. nicki minaj

5. friv

6. myxer

7. katy perry

8. twitter

9. gamezer

10. facebook.

Which is worrying, because as a duffer, I haven’t heard of some of those.

And falling faster than – oh, I don’t know, something really heavy and inert, say a cartoon safe – in 2010, was:

1. swine flu

2. wamu

3. new moon

4. mininova

5. susan boyle

6. slumdog millionaire

7. circuit city

8. myspace layouts

9. michael jackson

10. national city bank.

So, theoretically, if I add all those top 10 most popular terms into an article and tag them myself, (hey, look at that! I just did!)  It should garner some attention.

And then looking into my crystal ball for 2011… Actually, why bother? If I just throw in say, X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, Doctor Who, Cheryl Cole, Lady Gaga, Brighton Rock, Manchester United, Barcelona, Jose Mourinho, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, oh, and romcom, I think that’ll do it.

Welcome to Frost. Thank you for stopping by. We love you and please feel free to look around. And come back and tell your friends!

Or you can just wait for them to stumble on the same set of tags and blog/tweet/facebook each other about us. I’m easy either way.

Crossing The Bridge – Marilyn Monroe Reveals All

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So, I suppose the first question is how are you? Assuming that it isn’t a redundant question.

Not at all. I feel fine. To tell you the truth, nothing much changes from before. You still feel everything you felt before. After all, it’s what makes a person, your emotions.  Without them, you’re kinda nothing at all. So, what you were before, you still are. But all the rough edges are sorta taken off. Does that make sense?

Without going into the religious aspect too much. Is it Heaven? Have you seen God?

Heaven’s what you make it, if you want to call it Heaven. It’s not like you’re taught at school. Let’s face it, no one can know what’s out there, so it’s all guesswork until it happens to you. It’s another state of mind really. It’s whatever you want. Some people prefer the green fields and flowing rivers, others prefer a city bar and a shot of bourbon. Me, I like both and that’s the beauty, afterlife’s what you make it! (Giggles).

So let’s get this out of the way, once and for all. August 5th 1962. What really happened?

Oh God, Here we go. I knew this would come up. OK. So let’s get it straight. You can’t help laughing at all the conspiracy theories. To be honest, if you didn’t, you’d cry. I’ve seen it so many times since. Jack in Dallas, Elvis, even your Lady Diana. It just seems like when certain people die, other people can’t accept accidents and have to put a different meaning to it. I don’t know, maybe because their grief demands it. It makes people less mortal, less weak if there’s something else behind it. Of course, Jack was murdered, but people are still tying themselves up in knots over the hows and whys.

So OK, who did shoot JFK?

Who do you think? Oswald was apparently on the sixth floor (of the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas). The first shot hit Jack in the back and came out through his neck. That’s not a shot from high up. Same with the second hit. (Governor John) Connally was shot in the back too and the bullet came out of his chest. The third got Jack in the head. Oswald didn’t make the shot. Wrong place. Plus he just didn’t have the skill. For the third shot to kill Jack and miss Jackie? That’s a trained marksman. CIA. They weren’t happy with Jack’s reforms. Bang.

And getting back to you in ‘62? You must be aware that there’s talk the CIA were involved.

Ha! I think they barely noticed me in a political sense. If anything, I provided them with a convenient distraction. While Jack’s with me, they’re free to carry on while the focus is elsewhere. Listen, I’m not proud of it, but the Kennedys were great people. Jackie knew Jack had a weakness for women. And let’s face it, I wasn’t the first or last. You’ve got the most powerful man in the world paying you attention? You’d have to be as hard as steel not to have your head turned.

Truth is, I really wasn’t well. You’re supposed to be a world-famous actress, adored by millions. But honestly? It’s surprisingly lonely. No one really wants you to be yourself. There’s Marilyn and there’s Norma Jeane. When the door closes, it’s just Norma Jeane.

I know it’s a cliché, but you really do suspect everyone’s motives for trying to get near you. They may be crazy, they may think they really love you, but it’s the image they see on film they love. You’ve met people in the industry. Their public persona is nothing like the people they really are in most cases.

The Misfits was so tough. I was drinking, drinking too much really. I wasn’t sleeping and the doctors were putting me on more and more drugs. It wasn’t good for me, but, you know, you think they know what they’re doing and you’re gonna get through it. And things’ll get better in time. There just wasn’t that much time for me, I guess.

When (Clark) Gable died just days after we wrapped, I felt kinda responsible. I hadn’t been at my best during the whole thing and I confess I went AWOL a couple of times. His wife Kay didn’t blame me, of course, but I could have made things easier, I suppose.

It was Something’s Got To Give that was a step too far really. It makes me laugh that the conspiracy nuts don’t really notice how appropriate the title was. I’d done the nude scenes in the pool, which they sold to Life magazine as publicity and then, of course, sang to Jack on his birthday.

I was exhausted, but the production sacked me ‘cos I missed so many days of shooting. I could’ve lived with that, although it was a blow, but next thing Fox are suing me for half a million bucks.

Let’s be honest. If I was gonna kill myself that would’ve been the time. But we eventually sorted it all out and I even had the two-picture deal in the bag. But yeah, it affected me. Who wouldn’t’ve found it tough? And you can see from the pics I did with (Bruce) Stern, I’d lost so much weight.

But what did it was simply a medical mistake. Dr. (Ralph) Greenson had given me an enema to help me sleep, because I was having trouble coming off the barbiturates. But (Doctor Hyman) Engelberg had given me more Nembutal the day before. From what I understand now, I had enough Nembutal in my system that it reacted with the chloral hydrate I’d been taking.

It was all very quick. I chatted to Joe (DiMaggio) around 7pm, but when Peter (Lawford) called about 30 minutes later, it felt like I was drunk. I figured the tablets were making me woozy, so got into bed. And, well, “That’s all Folks!” I just wasn’t strong enough any more.

So you would have made more films?

Of course. Like I said, I had a contract literally worth a million dollars and Something’s Got To Give was due to start filming again in the Fall. And there were other offers on the table, giving me more control. It would perhaps have been a springboard for other things. I was trying to get my head sorted and was ready for it this time around.

So how do you think your later career would’ve gone?

Hmm. I don’t know really. Let’s be honest. I was never going to be one of those character actresses. I truthfully wasn’t good enough. I mean, I reckon I had more to me than the kooky blonde, and that would have been difficult to carry off as I got older.

I would have liked to have done some more serious roles, perhaps as the mom, but I could see myself ending up as the kooky granny instead on the odd film or TV sit-com. Or maybe having a cat sanctuary like Bardot. (Laughs).

Some Like It Hot has been voted the greatest American film comedy of all time by The American Film Institute. What does that mean to you?

I’m very, very proud of Some Like It Hot. It was one of those films where everything comes together, you know? I mean Billy Wilder was superb, but it’s really Jack (Lemmon) and Joe (E. Brown) who steal the show. Jack was at the top of his game and Joe just played Osgood so well. This complete unawareness of everything’s that going on around him. He just has eyes for Daphne without taking in that she’s really this strapping guy. It’s hilarious.

Tony Curtis said that kissing you in that film was like kissing Hitler. What do you think about that?

That’s just typical of Tony. We knew each other from before, of course, and had a little fling when we were younger. He denies saying it, but it was actually a bit of an aside to the film crew. I reckon he was just trying to spare their feelings. (Laughs). He enjoyed it, at least in the early takes. There are some things a man just can’t hide! (Giggles).

Are you surprised about just how iconic you’ve become? Frankly, you are probably just about the most famous woman in the world.

Amazed. Completely, utterly amazed. I mean I was lucky enough to be around at the right time and grab the public’s attention. And, of course, I had famous men around, Joe and Jack were both American legends even then. But as I said before, I was never the best actress. I had no illusions about it, so to have books still written about me. You’d think they’d be nothing left to say and now here you are too. Talking about it almost 50 years later. It just goes to show.

Had I lived, I reckon there’s no way I would have had the same recognition. But suddenly dying at 36, I suppose all that unfulfilled potential, unfulfilled life, you could say, just grabs people. You become a sort of instant legend.

And what are your thoughts on the film industry today?

Truthfully? It doesn’t change much. Of course, the special effects are just out of this world. You can do so much more, so there are other areas of films that are opened up to actors, directors and writers.

But movie actors are still among the most overpaid people on the planet.

The quality doesn’t change either. There are so many great films, but people are still making appalling movies too. Except that they’re no longer called ‘B’ Movies. Instead, Joe Public forks out and don’t realise they’re likely to see something that’s honestly garbage until it’s too late.

I suppose the big difference now is that the studio thing has gone. It used to be that stars had to dress like stars whenever they went out. To keep that illusion that we were almost untouchable for ‘normal’ people. To keep that distance and sense of wonder so people want to see the movies. We were abnormal in that sense. We were always acting in a way, even when off-camera. Nowadays, movie stars go on holiday and there’ll always be someone with a camera waiting to get a shot of their boobs or saggy chin or whatever.

And people try so much now just to be famous, without really thinking how or why or even what it means. And they want it instantly. People should remember that fame is fleeting. It soon goes, sometimes before you know it. Like life. Trust me, I know.

In The Pink – How Doctor Who Turned Gay

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Before Matt Smith became the 11th incarnation of Doctor Who, there was the usual excited comment in the media. Would – or could – the new Doctor be black, a woman, or gay?

Seeing as Time Lords seemingly don’t have the habit or ability of changing sex or race, the talk is always irrelevant and frankly, redundant. But that doesn’t stop the lively debate every time there’s a change of face.

As it turned out, Smith’s Doctor is, like all the others, male, white and seemingly straight, but William Hartnell’s irascible first Doctor from 1963 aside, Doctor Who has always bordered on camp with more than a degree of innuendo.

With the advent of the Swinging Sixties later in the decade, more overt sexuality crept in with mini-skirted female companions – and mini-skirted males, if you care to count Frazer Hines’ kilted highlander, Jamie McCrimmon.

Wendy Padbury’s Zoe Herriot often crops up in Whovian conversations thanks pretty much to a spangly, tight purple zip-up jump suit she once wore while scrambling on to the Tardis console. But it was probably Katy Manning’s character of Jo Grant who is most fondly remembered as the girl who first put the sex into Doctor Who.

Jo, apart from being a good screamer as the role frequently required, had a tendency to flash her knickers courtesy of her early 1970’s outfit of short skirt and plastic boots. Not only did Manning thus cement her role as the first crush of small boys and the lust object of dads everywhere, ratings went through the roof.

After Manning left the series, she capitalised by posing nude with a Dalek, but it was really only as Doctor Who began its decline in the mid-1980s that Nicola Bryant’s Peri Brown briefly stirred the watching public again by appearing in a much-commented upon – and criticised – skimpy bikini.

Peter Davison has also frequently mentioned how his intense death scene as the fifth Doctor was completely upstaged by Bryant’s cleavage as she knelt beside him, but even the Doctors’ famed regenerations eventually proved no match for the BBC hierarchy. Where numerous enemies had tried and failed, poor stories and a poor time slot brought the Time Lord’s career to a close in December 1989.

Enter Russell T Davies. The TV Producer and Screenwriter had a number of hits on his CV before he tackled the resurrection of Doctor Who in 2005, including Queer as Folk, a controversial series about the Manchester gay scene, drawn loosely on Davies’ own experiences.

Despite initial scepticism, under Davies’ stewardship the ninth Doctor – portrayed by Christopher Eccleston along with Billie Piper’s superb Rose Tyler – was a huge hit. When Eccleston left, David Tennant’s Time Lord took the ratings even higher.

It would take an extremely brave move to make such an iconic figure as the Doctor into a gay man. And chances are that if anyone could have done it, Davies is the one, but that’s always likely to be a step too far for the BBC.

And yet, the reborn Doctor Who embraces numerous gay references, all the more remarkable in a top-rated, worldwide, prime time TV show aimed at the family. In fact, it is probably the gayest, non-gay programme anywhere in the TV schedules.

Davies is responsible for writing many of the episodes, but it was the Steven Moffat-penned ‘The Empty Child’, which introduces John Barrowman’s Captain Jack Harkness, with Barrowman’s character the obvious crutch – pun intended – for what soon becomes a running theme throughout the entire series.

There are no holds barred when the viewing public is first introduced to Harkness. He caresses a fellow airman’s backside at a party before it’s revealed the two are having a relationship. Which, let’s face it, is pretty bold of them considering the law and public opinion of homosexuality in the 1940s.

And in the second of the two-parter, ‘The Doctor Dances’, the character of Nancy stops a black-marketeer from threatening her with the police by telling him she knows he’s ‘messing around’ with the male butcher. Although it takes a couple of more episodes before, following much innuendo, Captain Jack kisses the Doctor in what’s believed to be the series’ first same-sex kiss.

Davies himself took the opportunity to take a sly dig at gay stereotyping in werewolf episode ‘Tooth and Claw’.

When Tennant’s Doctor is asked why he failed to notice anything odd about the servants of a manor house, he replies: “Well, they were bald, athletic, your wife’s away. I just thought you were happy.”

Meanwhile, in ‘The Age of Steel’, a deleted scene from the DVD reveals Noel Clarke’s alternate Earth counterpart, Ricky, is the boyfriend of friend Jake.

Continuing the gay theme, Catherine Tate’s debut in ‘The Runaway Bride’ shows two men dancing together at her wedding reception, while in ‘The Shakespeare Code’ the Bard responds to Tennant’s comment about future flirting with: “Is that a promise Doctor?”

In ‘Gridlock’, the pensionable Cassini sisters are clearly married lesbians, while the Doctor’s sexuality is again called into question in ‘Daleks in Manhattan’ by New Yorker Tallulah who asks if Tennant prefers ‘musical theatre’.

Tennant’s Doctor is again involved in some mild male ‘bromance’, offering another New Yorker, Frank, the chance of a kiss, while John Simm’s Master asks Tennant if he is “asking me out on a date?” after the Doctor reveals they are the last of the Time Lords.

Tate’s character of Donna Noble returns in the fourth series, and after announcing a previous boyfriend ran off with another man, it’s all about the girls.

‘The Doctor’s Daughter’ reveals two of Donna’s friends are a lesbian couple who had a child with IVF, while in ‘Midnight’, the character of Sky Silvestry is on holiday to get over a relationship with another woman. Even the return of Piper’s Rose Tyler in ‘Turn Left’ is greeted by Noble with a heartfelt: “Blonde hair might work on men, but not on me!”

Meanwhile, in the series finale ‘Journey’s End’, Davies and Barrowman’s Captain Jack up the ante big time by hinting at a possible threesome with Tennant’s two identical Doctors.

Davies left Doctor Who at the same time as Tennant in 2009 after the two-parter, ‘End of Time’, but couldn’t resist a final scene involving Barrowman.

In a homage to the Star Wars cantina scene, Captain Jack sits alone at a bar next to Being Human’s Russell Tovey – Midshipman Alonso Frame from ‘Voyage of the Damned’. The Doctor passes Jack a note giving Frame’s name. A quick suggestive chat-up between Harkness and Frame follows before Frame asks Harkness if he can guess what he’s thinking.

Well, yes. I think we get the gist.

Since replacing Davies at the helm for 2010, Moffat has largely reined in the gay references. Indeed, Smith’s 11th Doctor remains asexual while Karen Gillan’s companion, Amy Pond, is the flirt.

However, Gillan has had some viewers and newspapers frothing and complaining over her short skirts. Which is odd, considering she has showed considerably less than Manning did, despite it being almost 40 years later in a time of a much more liberal media.

And there’s the irony.

Put against the usual right wing hysteria about traditional family values, Doctor Who has done much to open the doors to more liberal views about homosexuality at prime time and Davies should be applauded for having the guts to do so.

Too bad that the complaints about Ms Pond shows that tolerance of heterosexual sex appeal still has some way to go.

Money For Nothing – And The Trick’s No Fee

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When Britain lost the War of American Independence in 1783, we nonchalantly withdrew, safe in the knowledge that the fledgling nation had taken on board our delights of fighting a Civil War, and subjugating and exterminating the indigenous people.

Meanwhile, Britain returned to its attempt to turn every schoolroom world map a lurid shade of pink as the British Empire expanded by wont of deciding we knew far better than the cultures of vast swathes of Africa and Asia.

From such unlikely beginnings, our special relationship with the USA has grown and grown. We were never so glad to see our former foes fight alongside us in The Great War, and there can be no doubt that the influx of tens of thousands of American troops turned the tide of a muddy, bloody stalemate.

And, while late to the party again in World War II, American forces once more helped to bring an end to six years of devastating conflict. Meanwhile, GIs (Overpaid, Oversexed, Over Here) brought nylons, gum, jazz and chocolate to a beleaguered and grey England, while getting brides – and surprise children – in return.

Glossing over our penchant for gambolling playfully at America’s feet in gratitude and thus embroiling ourselves in two unwinnable guerrilla conflicts in the Middle East, our tradition of cultural exchange continues to this day.

They gave us Elvis Presley, we gave them the Stones and Beatles. They gave us Hollywood glamour and Marilyn Monroe, we gave them Carry On and Ricky Gervais.

Not forgetting that Halloween barely existed as an event in Britain when I was a kid. The first trick-or-treater I ever heard knock on the door was around 1983.

Faced with one of the local children proclaiming ‘trick or treat’ on the doorstep, my puzzled mum replied: “Trick!” There was a brief, equally baffled pause before the child went to find someone more clued-up.

And though I’ve been a long time out of High School, I don’t recall any talk of Prom Nights in Britain until around the late 90s. The UK didn’t go in for that sort of thing, probably because the film ‘Carrie’ scared the shit out of everyone in 1976.

Suffice to say, my last day at school consisted of a myriad of shirt signings, revenge on those who had royally pissed you off during the year and hasty fumblings with girls who had suddenly become more romantic and attractive as the parting of the ways beckoned.

I digress.

Something else we’ve learned from America is how to sue.

The USA is the most litigious country on the planet. Frankly, you can get sued in America at the drop of the hat, particularly if that hat then trips someone up. And now, we’ve cottoned on to making a fast buck in the same way.

Students, the unemployed or unemployed students who, between watching Jeremy Kyle’s show about British pond life and David Dickinson’s mahogany features on The Real Deal, are no doubt familiar with those ‘no win, no fee’ adverts from legal types.

They tend to show various idiots who have fallen off ladders, tripped over lethal plastic box-ties, or swallowed a pint of weed killer in a misguided attempt to eradicate their own gene-pool, and are now holding fat cheques after successfully blaming someone else for their own incompetence – albeit not quite as fat after the victorious lawyers have taken their mammoth commission.

Trouble is, it’s really no joke. Councils now spend tens of thousands of pounds on compensation every year, ranging from people falling over pavements, being grazed by falling tree branches, hitting heads on low signs and, in the case of a landmark ruling against Hounslow Council, a £100,000 payout to a couple with learning disabilities, who were subjected to abuse by their neighbours.

Regardless of the rights or wrongs of the latter judgement, it doesn’t take a mathematician to realise that if people weren’t suing the council for tumbling over uneven pathways, there might be more money available to get them fixed.

Meanwhile, a number of councils have realised it’s cheaper and easier to fell mature trees rather than put up with the fiddly business of keeping them maintained and so cure the problem of possible conker-shaped bruising.

Speaking of cures, doctors and hospitals now routinely take out malpractice insurance in the event of a legal challenge. Not that loved ones shouldn’t have the right to compensation when something has gone wrong, but there’s something definitely amiss when a man sues the NHS for allowing him to get to 70st.

As Barbara Ellen sagely pointed out in The Observer: “I’m confused. Did his GP say to him, ‘yeah, you look great at 50st, just keep eating”? As he ballooned to the point where it became a military operation to get him to hospital, were nurses feeding him fry-ups? Well, no. Paul Mason is now 37st, thanks to gastric surgery performed by the NHS.”

So, thanks to all this ‘fall down, get rich’ culture, we now live in a Health & Safety wonderland, where school trips are cancelled because of fears of litigation, packets of peanuts come with the disclaimer ‘warning, contains nuts’ and cards for two-year-old toddlers state ‘not suitable for children under 36 months’.

I would go on, but I’ve inadvertently crushed my fingers with the iMac after rooting around for a stray crisp. Now all I have to do is find the name of a good lawyer and Apple’s arse is mine.

Image: Chris Sharp / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=584

The Bear Atrocities – Hugged to Hunted

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If asked to name a favourite childhood toy, the chances are that most people would come up with the teddy bear.

Generations of children have found comfort with a fuzzy companion to make the night hours just that little less scary, or by listening wide-eyed to a tale where bears are warm, furry and have adventures of their own.

The world famous Steiff company have been making teddy bears since 1902, while a search on Amazon for ‘bear’ in children’s books brings up a little less than 35,000 entries.

‘My Friend Bear’, ‘Can’t You Sleep Little Bear’, ‘Bear Snores On’ are just some of the titles, along with ‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt’ by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury.

The synopsis reads: “Follow the family’s excitement as they wade through the grass, splash through the river and squelch through the mud in search of the bear. What a surprise awaits in the cave on the other side of the dark forest.”

The best-selling, award-winning book has a somewhat ironic title considering that roughly 500,000 black bear hunting licenses are issued each year in the US with almost 82,000 registered hunters in Canada.

Meanwhile, the larger grizzly bear is listed as ‘threatened’ in the US and ‘endangered’ in parts of Canada.

According to experts at BestHuntingAdvice, the reasons behind hunting are frequently given as a way of keeping the bear population down, or to remove a predatory bear, but the truth is simple. Many North Americans hunt bears for sheer enjoyment, and the numerous websites and magazines devoted to weaponry and the best hunting spots cater for a voracious appetite.

While it’s true to say that a bear can carry a considerable threat to a hunter, bears rarely launch an unprovoked attack on people. Just 31 people have been killed in North America by bears since 2000, and 23 in the 1990s.

Critics would also argue just how much ‘sport’ can be obtained from shooting an unaware animal, going about its daily business, from a safe distance through a telescopic lens.

No figures seem to be available for the number of bears killed in North America during 2010, but as a snapshot, a six-day bear hunt in New Jersey last month resulted in 589 kills, 17.3% of the estimated bear population.

But as well as being ingrained in some sections of the American psyche, hunting big game is big business.

The US Fish and Wildlife Service’s most recent National Survey of Fishing, Hunting, and Wildlife-Associated Recreation from 2006 showed that 12.5 million people hunted within the United States on 220 million days, spending $22.9 billion. An estimated 10.7 million hunters pursued big game, such as bears, deer and elk, on 164 million days.

Eastern Europe has also found that bears offer the opportunity to make big money.

Rich foreigners are willing to pay $9000 for the privilege of shooting bears in Romania and Russia, drastically reducing the number of animals.

Some estimates put the brown bear population in Romania as a little more than 4000, a 50% reduction since the fall of Communism. Slovakia may have as little as 400 bears left.

And outside of hunting, bear-baiting is still rife in Pakistan, while in Japan, bears are kept in concrete ‘parks’ and forced to beg for food in the name of public entertainment. Meanwhile, bear bile and bear body parts are much sought after in traditional Chinese medicine, with the bears farmed under deplorable conditions in South Korea and China itself.

Bears were hunted to extinction in the UK around 1000AD. One thousand years later, much of the adult world seems hell-bent on continuing to persecute a much-loved childhood friend.

A Bug’s Life – Kafka’s ‘Metamorphosis’ set to emerge on big screen

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One of the great works of world literature that, surprisingly, has never made it to the big screen is Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis, the story of travelling salesman Gregor Samsa, who wakes up one morning to find himself transformed in his bed into a repulsive and verminous insect-like creature of human proportions.

Finally, nearly a century after it was written, Metamorphosis is being brought to cinema screens for the first time by London-based Attractive Features.

The film stars Maureen Lipman as the Mother, Robert Pugh as the Father, Laura Rees as the Sister and Chris New as Gregor Samsa.

Written in a three-week burst at the end of 1912, Kafka’s amazing novella has caught the imagination of generations of readers since its publication in 1915.

What started out as an intensely personal expression of self-doubt, self-disgust, despair, desperation and isolation, touched a universal chord – with Kafka’s private themes seen as symbolising the far wider political and social struggles of minority religions, cultures and movements.

The Freudians, Expressionists, Absurdists, Avant-Gardists, Existentialists, Marxists and Zionists all claimed him as their representative and spokesman.

Yet, apart from the various short films, animated versions and films loosely based on Kafka’s story, there have been only three airings of Metamorphosis on television over the years – a German production in 1975 (Die Verwandlung), a Swedish version in 1976 (Förvandlingen), and the 1987 television version by the BBC of Steven Berkoff’s brilliant theatre adaptation (The Metamorphosis) originally staged in 1969.

Director Chris Swanton said: “My overriding approach was to get the film as close to the original story as I could,” while Attractive Features added: “It is a difficult, even prohibitive undertaking to turn such an iconic and much-loved story into a feature film, but that is not good enough reason to shy away from the challenge.”

Filmed at Halliford Studios in Shepperton, the film is currently in post-production and will be doing the rounds at various film festivals later this year as the company hopes to secure the release deal that their weighty endeavour so richly deserves.

In the meantime, the teaser trailer can be seen on the film’s own website: www.metamorphosisthemovie.com.

Text reproduced and adapted from the Metamorphosis Facebook page and film website by kind permission of director Chris Swanton.

Turn on, Log in, Drop out – Internet Addiction Disorder

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An addiction for the 21st century is causing increasing numbers of desperate parents to seek help for their teenage children.

Internet Addiction Disorder, or IAD, is now as much of a real addiction as drugs and alcohol, according to the renowned Priory Clinic in Roehampton, south west London.

The disorder can lead to mood swings, compulsive lying, loss of interest in studies and a breakdown in real-life relationships, as surfers spend time using and abusing chatrooms, multi-user games such as EverQuest, and social networking sites like Facebook.

Speaking back in 2008, Richard Renson, then Addiction Therapist at The Priory, said: “In some families, money can be tight. Both parents work and children often come back home alone and go straight on to the computer. It becomes a routine and that routine becomes very hard to break.

“It’s lack of communication with another solid human being. Some people say when they’re gaming online, they’ve got thousands of friends, but it’s not communication and emotional involvement. It’s avoidance behaviour.

“One of the hardest things to manage is our emotional world and if you’ve not got any role models and are only using computer-based information, it’s not going to be solid, concrete or useful.”

Two years on, there are currently no statistics outlining the number of UK addicts, but with Facebook and Twitter usage continuing to amass large numbers of followers, the problem is increasing.

Mr Renson estimated at the time that as many as 20 per cent of Priory patients were chronically affected by internet and computer-based addiction.

However, critics argue potential sufferers only use the internet as a medium to fuel other cravings and that internet addiction itself is not a true condition.

Mr Renson firmly believed this was not the case: “There’s more and more evidence to show that it is,” he said.

“We can sensationalise it, but any action a human being takes that is detrimental to their well-being, and seems a repetition, can be classed as an addiction.”

He added: “Evidence also shows there are ‘hot-spots’ in the brain that remain when somebody stops using the computer. It’s exactly the same as when using a substance.”

An addict, speaking to The Times in March, said: “The social thing was something I always had trouble with. It was a lot easier to socialise and make friends online than it was in real life.”

However, treatment is not as simple as stopping use. Instead, it can be a slow and difficult process, requiring considerable after-care.

The key, according to Mr Renson, is tackling the underlying problems that lead to the compulsion.

“If you start off with abstaining from that substance or behaviour, you get to the bottom of how you feel,’ he said. “You can learn how to manage the emotions you probably thought were too hard to manage initially.

“When you’re not intoxicated, inebriated or doing something that avoids feeling, you can start to make sense of it and see that it isn’t so tough.

“But abstinence is quite a tall order. When you take away a behaviour that people have seen as addictive, it can be quite troublesome. People relapse unless you’ve got a support network around you.”

The cure though, can be prohibitively expensive. It costs approximately £20,000 for a 28-day programme at The Priory, although medical insurance may cover certain cases.

“It may sound like quite a lot of money,” said Mr Renson. “But you can’t put a price on a person’s quality of life. If you can give somebody back their life, it’s money well spent.

“We’re doing quite a lot of education around general compulsive behaviour and addictions,” he added.

“For better or for worse, The Priory has a reputation for treating the rich and the famous, but we have a social conscience.

“We want people to experience the world and the beauties of it. You can’t do that if you’re sitting at a computer.”

Heathrow's Third Runway: The Battle for Sipson.

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When the Labour government finally dragged its heels from 10 Downing Street in May, one of the most contentious environmental issues of its time appeared to go with it.

Prime Minister David Cameron had barely crossed the threshold in place of the departing Brown, before the coalition government promised it would scrap plans for Heathrow’s third runway – an environmental battlefield in a war that had raged for almost a decade.

The defeated British Airports Authority (BAA) announced it was withdrawing its application soon after.

For the residents of Sipson and Harmondsworth – two villages in west London that lay directly in the path of the proposed project – it was a victory long in the making.

Six months on, it would be expected that any visitor to Sipson would encounter a community bubbling with renewed enthusiasm and vibrancy after losing the dark shadow hanging over their everyday lives.

Instead, it comes as a shock to find the polar opposite. From the jaws of defeat, BAA may yet win an unlikely victory.

A potted history of the conflict reveals the Labour Government first considered building a third runway in 2002. A flawed consultation document eventually followed in 2007, which became the catalyst for heavy-hitters Greenpeace to get directly involved in the campaign to stop Heathrow expansion.

Greenpeace’s Anna Jones reflected on the mood at the time: “The public consultation didn’t allow people to say ‘no, we don’t want it’, but instead said, ‘if we‘re going to build it, how should we build it?’ she recalls.

“The public opposition then really began to develop and it was around that time that we had the idea of Airplot.”

Pulling in a cross-section of political figures, celebrities and environmentalists, Greenpeace trumped the Government’s highly controversial green-lighting of the project in January 2009, by revealing their own purchase of a field directly in the runway’s proposed path.

Christened Airplot, the site soon became a focus for resistance to the runway, both directly and indirectly, with Greenpeace offering the opportunity for people to become beneficial owners of the site.

“In the first week, it was crazy and amazing,” says Jones. “A thousand people an hour were signing up to become owners at one point. And I think it really gave people hope and something concrete to do to stand in the way of the plans.”

Residents too, welcomed Airplot with open arms.

“We wrote to every single person in the village letting them know we were there,” she adds. ”Everyone was very supportive.

“There were some people who were feeling trapped by the blight situation and some who felt they just wanted to give up. But all the work the action groups and Airplot did, really boosted the morale of the local community and made them feel even stronger.”

Also joining the fray were activists Transition Heathrow.

The group swooped on a local derelict market garden site in March 2010 during the height of the fight against the runway and were determined to stay.

After removing 30 tonnes of rubbish and surviving an early court battle by the landowner to remove them, they have transformed the area into Grow Heathrow, which has become a community hub in a short space of time, visited by a number of Sipson’s home owners every day.

Transition Heathrow’s spokesman, Paddy Reynolds, explains: “We wanted to start something in the village that would capture some of the radical energy roused by the third runway campaign.

“They wanted tarmac and planes, and we wanted a sustainable, grass roots level, democratic community, that can look after itself in the face of local and global challenges.

“However, we didn’t want to just storm in,” he explains. “We knew a lot of people in the area through the campaign and spoke to everyone we knew about this site.”

“It had been used by an outfit that got evicted by the council. It was very unpopular, because there were noise abatement orders, illegal scrapping of cars and a lot of rubbish dumped, with people going in and out all the time.

“So we thought, ‘this is a very anti-social site, let’s make it very social. We’ll occupy it, clean it up and turn it into a community market garden’.

“It’s one of the last standing of these old market garden greenhouses, so it’s symbolic.”

Since March, the site has altered beyond recognition, becoming a genuine window into Heathrow’s past as prime arable land.

Airplot too, continues to grow – with a thriving orchard and returning wildlife – and with Greenpeace’s presence in the area now much reduced, Anna Jones believes the village is enjoying some quiet time.

“I think everyone’s very happy now just to be able to live their lives and breathe – which they haven’t been able to do for so many years,” she suggests.

“That’s fair enough when you’ve been at the centre of controversy for so long.”

But the truth appears to be much less rosy.

The centrepiece of the village, the listed, 400-year-old King William IV pub became an unofficial meeting place during the fight for survival, but a Friday lunchtime visit gives the impression that all is not well.

Close to 1pm, the pub is empty. A passer-by drops in for a quick pint and eventually three or four residents drift in. The mood is not optimistic.

Landlord Shaun Walters, after leaving Sipson in 1996, returned to the uncertainty in 2006.

“All that time, it’s been ‘is it or is it not coming’, but certainly in the last four years, it’s been more in the public eye.

“For me, it’s been a nightmare, business-wise. I’ve sold my house today, but when the guy came round to sign off everything, he said there are 32 houses unoccupied, all bought through BAA’s Bond Scheme. Some have been empty for four months, so I’ve lost revenue.

“For the businesses left in the village, it’s just devastation,” he adds. “I can see me being out of business after Christmas.”

And the government-approved Property Market Support Bond Scheme has proved to be BAA’s ace in the pack.

With buyers shunning a potentially doomed village, BAA offered residents a way out with the scheme, buying their properties at 2002 prices.

The coalition’s stance has since led BAA to limit residents to a deadline of June 22 to opt in, but a caveat in their letter advisees residents to continue to register their interest, in case of a future planning application.

And the inescapable irony is that, since the election, many residents have taken up the offer.

The legacy is rows of empty houses, while others are rented on short-term lets to migrant workers who have no stake in the long-term future of the community.

“I think a lot of people had had enough over the last couple of years and just wanted to go,” offers Walters.

“They wanted to go and live the dream somewhere else, and never have the heartache and grief of waking up in the morning, and thinking is it or isn’t it going to happen?

“But the big change is that it’s no longer a community. I don’t know a third of the people in this village now.”

One resident, speaking anonymously, agreed. “It’s dying from the inside,” she said. “I’ve sold my house to BAA. My neighbours have gone. Nobody wants to be here anymore.”

Transition Heathrow’s Reynolds is also well aware of the malaise that is creeping across Sipson.

“The Bond Scheme is self-perpetuating and causes more blight,” he says. “People who have been stuck in their houses for ten years have suddenly been given a small window of opportunity where they can sell at a good market rate at a time when the market’s crashing.

“It’s ‘take it or leave it’ and if you leave it, you might not get a better offer ever again.

“It’s meant that a lot of people have left en masse and that’s not good for any village. It’s especially unhealthy for the power dynamics, because BAA now own a lot of property here.

“The loss of long term residents is not helpful for the general well-being of Sipson. Families who know the history of this village is what binds this place together. That’s been lost.”

And most telling is that a number of people directly involved in the campaign have taken the opportunity to go.

Linda McCutcheon, the former chair of the Harmondsworth and Sipson Residents Association, is perhaps the biggest loss to the area.

“I knew Linda really well,” says Reynolds. “She was tireless in her support of us and anyone opposing the campaign.

“She was also on the committee for the No Third Runway Action Group (NoTRAG) which closed recently, but she’s moved out to enjoy her retirement.

“The previous chair of the residents association had family losses directly related to worsening health and stress caused by campaigning.

“Some of them sacrificed their retirement years, while some of them literally sacrificed their health – and ultimately their lives.

“Fair play to Linda. She deserves it, but the combination of circumstances means that it feels like a big change at the moment and we don’t know how that’ll develop.”

Despite coalition assurances that the third runway is dead in the water, leading Labour figures and business figures are still in favour.

Anna Jones agrees that political circumstances can change, but remains quietly cautious.

“I hope that’s it,” she says. “We will fight tooth and nail if it comes back onto the table because we know it’s a completely bonkers plan.

“If you were to let this go ahead, BAA wouldn’t rule out a sixth and seventh terminal and that’s just ridiculous.

“You can’t just continue to grow and grow and pollute, and take people’s homes away.

“But what we’ve seen with this most recent plan is that now society is mobilised. It knows how to come together and fight together in a united way. That’s why we won and that’s why we’ll continue to win.

“I think we’ve actually turned a corner now and I really don’t believe it’ll go ahead.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the people who live on the airport’s doorstep are more pessimistic.

“I think they’ll get it in the end,” says Shaun Walters. “The third runway will come and this’ll be flattened. No doubt about it.

“There’s been too much money invested. When they were doing Terminal Five, the workmen who came in here said they’d seen plans for Terminal Six and Terminal Seven.

“They’ve had investment offers to build it in the Thames Estuary, but they don’t want to know. They want it here.

“If they’re willing to go through cemeteries, with people still being buried, they want it at all costs.

“At the end of the day, they’ll get all the houses and it’ll be a dead-end village.

Harmondsworth resident, John Power agrees. “They need it. It will happen.

“It’s just a matter of time. It’s all money, jobs, jobs, jobs and people lose their homes because of jobs.”

In the meantime, Transition Heathrow face a microcosm of the bigger picture, as they look to their own future in Sipson.

“We want to secure the site long term, ideally by coming to some agreement. We’ve put in an offer to buy the land, or potentially we may rent it.

“Failing that, we will resist all efforts to get rid of us without any kind of reasonable negotiations.

“We’re confident, and even if we lose, we want to make so much publicity in losing that we set an example not only for this area, but lots of other land-based projects in the communities around Britain.

“It’s a time to hold on tight really, because the shit’s going to hit the fan.”

And that may be a crude, but apt, metaphor for the future of Sipson.

“The Third Runway won’t happen,” says Reynolds emphatically. “The aviation industry is not strong.

“If they had built it, it would have been a complete white elephant.”

“But I think there’ll be renewed applications in a couple of years or less, or with a new government and then it’ll start off again.

“It led to an unprecedented campaign that was like an Iraq-type situation for Gordon Brown. It became a national and international issue.

“It’ll be like a civil war.”

Unfortunately, despite Reynolds’ and Jones’ willingness and readiness to resume the fight, the low morale and BAA’s expanding property portfolio suggests it could be too late for Sipson.

Their enemy are already within the walls.