Tag Archives: online dating

The Etiquette of Online Dating

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Online dating has been described before as going into a bar where you know every person
in there wants to meet someone. However, this is no ordinary bar scene where you can rely
on a bit of Dutch courage to strike up a conversation. There are some big differences in this
digital world, and a dating website etiquette should be followed when looking for love
online. However, not all of us know what this is.

finding love, dating, online dating, advice, guide, social media

In this relatively new social medium, Sean Wood, Communications Director at Cupid Plc,
talks us through the dos and don’ts of dating online. From choosing the right website to
picking a great place for your first date. Sean’s insider knowledge can guide you through the
journey to meeting your perfect partner online.

You have made the decision to join a dating website, how do you go about choosing the
right one? What should you look out for?

Online dating is now more and more popular and as a result of this the number of dating
websites on offer is constantly growing. Before you make any decisions, consider what it is
you want to get from your online dating experience, and what kind of person you are
looking for – this will narrow the choices and make your decision easier. For example, if you
are looking for love following a separation and want to find a mature partner,
MatureDatingUk.com might be the best choice for you. If you work in uniform and work
unsociable hours, you may be looking for someone in the same position, and so a site such
as UniformDating.com would be perfect for you. Most dating websites give users a choice
between a free account and a full subscription. This allows you to browse the singles
database and check out the functions of the site, before making the decision to move to a
full subscription. Wherever possible, try to get a trial run before subscribing to a dating site,
to make sure it is most suited to your needs before you spend money on it.

1) What is the best type of picture to post on your profile?

Choosing the right profile picture is very important. You should use a picture you are happy
with, but which is also a true likeness of you – altering your image in Photoshop may
improve your appearance but this will cause problems when your date doesn’t recognise
you and walks straight past you on your first date! On the other hand, it’s perfectly fine to
post what you consider as your best photos, and so posting your passport photo may be
taking it too far! Try to choose a picture that stands out from the crowd, one that catches
the eye of other members and leaves them wanting to find out more about you. Be sure to
choose a photo that looks natural and real whilst still engaging. You can usually change your
profile picture whenever you like, so feel free to play around with your snap until you find
one that gets the most interest from other users. One final note is to avoid including images
of beautiful sunsets and landscapes which you like. Although the views might be stunning,
users want to know about you first and foremost.

2) How do I start writing my profile? What are the main points to include about myself?

Your profile is designed to tell other members all about you, this includes basic personal
information such as your first name and age, as well as details about your interests and
hobbies, likes and dislikes, personality and traits. If you are suffering from writer’s block,
maybe bullet point all of the important information that you wish to share, briefly give an
overview of what you are like and leave the reader wanting to know more about you.
Always be honest in your profile, relationships that start from dishonesty rarely work,
furthermore, you want to find someone who likes you just the way you are! You can include
in your profile a summary of what it is you are looking to achieve from your online dating
experience, i.e. are you looking for friendship, love/romance, marriage etc? Stating this in
your profile will help you to find someone who is looking for the same things you are.

3) What safety features should I look out for when I am joining a dating website?

Before deciding to sign up to a dating site one thing you should pay attention to is the safety
features of the site itself. In order to date safely you will need to sign up to a dating site that
speaks openly about how to stay safe when chatting over the internet, and offers guidelines
on details which you should and shouldn’t share. Furthermore, you should use a dating site
that has invested time and money into developing safety features designed to better
protect you, the user. At Cupid.com we have developed a new safety feature called Safe
Mode. This function allows men to change their profiles so that they can only be contacted
by members who have been verified and who are looking for love – the verification process
is simple – it can be done over the phone and takes only a minute or two. The Safe Mode
function is unique from other safety functions of other dating sites as it acts as a shield,
blocking members from people who haven’t verified their identity and aren’t actually
interested in dating. To add to this, our site moderator continually posts messages in the
public areas of the site, explaining to users the importance of staying safe online and things
that you can do to keep yourself safe.

4) I have the perfect profile set up, now what do I do?!

Now your perfect profile is completed you’re ready to start meeting people! There are a
number of ways in which you can do this. Cupid.com has placed a great deal of emphasis on
developing functions and tools that enable effective communication between members and
we encourage you to utilise these as much as possible. The most common way people start
to meet other members is by searching through the database of single people and
messaging anyone that catches their eye… when you send messages to other members try
to make the messages personal to each individual member, avoid generic sounding
messages as these are much less likely to get a response. A more immediate way to start
conversation is through our free online chat rooms, in which you can start talking to other
members who are online immediately. When you have started to get to know another
member and decide you’d like to get to know them on a more personal level, you can start a
private chat with them.

Before you start chatting with someone, have a look at their profile and see whether they
would actually be a good match for you, for example, are they looking for the same things
as you are? Do they live in your area? Do they have similar interests to you? When you
start initializing a conversation with another member, ask questions about them and listen
to their response, ensure the conversation is two way and you are both engaging in it.

5) How long do you recommend talking to someone online before organising to meet
them in person?

How long you should speak to someone for before meeting them really depends on you, the
person you are talking to and how comfortable you feel with them. At Cupid.com, safety is
essential, so we would suggest waiting until you actually know a person before you meet
them. The usual process would be to start chatting online for a while, and then move to
other forms of communication, such as speaking over the phone. If you are ever unsure as
to whether you should meet someone we would recommend you don’t, never allow
yourself to feel pressurised into meeting someone before you’re ready, and you should
always be sure that it is something you want to do before agreeing to meet anyone.

6) When organising when and where to meet, what should I keep in mind?

When you do finally make the decision to meet up with another member, choose to meet
up in a public place, somewhere that has an atmosphere you can both enjoy, that will allow
you to chat freely and get to know each other even better. When you initially plan your first
date, it is a good idea to plan something short, so if you or your date knows there and then
that it isn’t going to work, you can walk away with no bad feelings. If the short first date
goes well, you can always extend your plans by going for a meal or something afterwards, or
arrange a second date for in a few days.

7) Do you have any do’s and don’ts for conversation on the first date?

The whole point of the first date is to get to know the person you have met up with, so the
best advice we can give you is to appear interested in your date, ask questions and follow
these up with further (related) questions, to show you have maintained an interest in what
they have to say. Answer questions about yourself as honestly as you possibly can, and
answer the question that was asked of you, avoid going off on a tangent or over sharing
information too soon. Be yourself as much as possible, if you are fake in any way it will likely
get noticed and may even put your date off you.

What’s your opinion on online dating? Have you found someone online?

How to Have a Successful Date

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What Makes A Successful Date?

eHarmony.co.uk reveals the Great Date Indicators (GDI) that switch us “on” and “off” to a potential mate

Based on communication habits of thousands of British singles, relationship site eHarmony releases six key indicators that can increase your dating potential.

Laughing at certain jokes, having a passion for vegetarian food or playing the guitar may sound harmless enough but according to analysis of millions of connections on relationship site eHarmony®, certain hobbies and habits definitely affect a single’s potential with the opposite sex.

Whilst studying how compatible singles connect and communicate on eHarmony.co.uk, computational scientists have found a series of indicators that impact attraction and connection online. Although two people can be incredibly compatible, the Great Date Indicators (GDI), as eHarmony scientists call them, provide an additional layer to determine whether two people will click when they meet in person. They reveal that:


1. We don’t like people with the same sense of humour

Far from seeking out someone with the same sense of humour as ourselves, the GDI show that online, we will often choose to connect with people who have a very different sense of humour to our own. For example, men with dark or political humour are often attracted to women with slapstick, wisecracking humour.

2. Traditional gender types have a big part to play in our attraction to a partner

Even though we live in an open and liberated society, men and women who conform to gender stereotypes receive more interest online. For example, fewer women communicate with men who enjoy feminine pursuits (like shopping) whilst fewer men communicate with women who seem to be in a position of authority. Also, men care less about the income potential of a woman only if she earns less than they do.

3. Spending habits influence the dating potential for women online

How much a woman spends or saves may impact her dating potential online. Women who spend freely view many profiles but do not communicate often. eHarmony scientists term this the “window shopping effect”. More men will talk to a woman who saves, whilst fewer men will talk to a woman who says she spends freely. The exception is that men who spend freely will talk to women who spend freely – surely a recipe for an empty joint bank account.

4. The universal appeal of yoga

Stretching and bending is THE most popular form of exercise in terms of appeal to the opposite sex whether you’re a man or a woman. Regardless of gender, men and women who mention yoga in their profiles receive significantly more communication than those who don’t.


5. We all want active partners – even if we’re a couch potato

Most people search out and connect with people who have active lifestyles. It is very appealing to the opposite sex. Be warned if you sit in front of the TV. Couch potatoes are universally unappealing, even to other couch potatoes.


6. A varied palate is appealing to the opposite sex

A varied diet and openness to try new foods is appealing to the opposite sex but a McDonalds habit could seriously damage your dating potential. Enjoying fast food is a big turn off to other singles, even if they’re fast food eaters themselves. And being a vegetarian is definitely a big attraction for other vegetarians online.

As part of the patented scientific match making process, eHarmony members complete a relationship questionnaire where they are asked to record their passions, interests, likes and dislikes. Since its launch in the UK, eHarmony has been building a comprehensive picture of the personalities and habits of the two million singles who have completed the questionnaire. Then using Compatibility Matching System® quantitative analysis models, eHarmony’s computational science team search for trends in how members decipher the profiles of matches and connect with them online.

Joseph Essas, Chief Technology Officer at eHarmony says:

Meeting singles you’re going to have chemistry with is what makes dating exciting, and even more importantly, worth investing time and energy in. In any given day there are millions of communications taking place on eHarmony. By analysing all of these interactions we’re able to learn what behaviours and hobbies can make sparks fly between our singles and provide them with matches that are even more tailored for them.

SPRUCE UP YOUR DATING PROFILE

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Almost six million Brits are now dating online[1] but with so many people and so many profiles in the digisphere, it pays to be creative. Standing out from the virtual crowd has never been more important if you are hoping to meet a long term partner online.

“Whether you have signed up for the first time or have been online dating for several months, never under-estimate the power of your dating profile,” says Dr Gian Gonzaga, world-renowned expert in the field of compatibility and relationships for eHarmony®.

“Your online profile is a virtual window into your life, your passions, your goals and accomplishments. There’s no set formula for a ‘great profile’ as everyone’s different, but every profile should be positive and lively. Like a CV, it should show off your best points, but instead of a dry list of achievements it should be conversational in tone and full of personality.”

So, if you’re thinking of starting on the online dating journey, follow Dr Gonzaga’s ten tips to ensuring your profile gets you a first date, and lots more:

1. RELAX AND TURN OFF DISTRACTIONS

The first step is to get comfortable and relaxed and have a bit of distance from noise and distractions so you can concentrate on thinking about all your positives. Sit down on the sofa, put some music on, and start jotting down some thoughts about what makes you unique on paper, or the computer.

2. DO YOUR RESEARCH

What better way to research than reading other people’s profiles and looking at what you like about them, and what you don’t. Make sure your profile isn’t the same as others’ though. You’re unique.

3. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS SAY ABOUT YOU?

Everyone finds it difficult writing about themselves. It’s often easier to write about other people; so ask your close friends to describe your best qualities. Your friends can reveal a lot about your character that you may never spot.

4. STAY POSITIVE!

Avoid negative tones and always be positive about yourself. Your profile is essentially your dating CV. You wouldn’t want a future employer to read anything negative on your CV, so why would you want a potential partner to read anything that isn’t positive?

5. ADOPT A WRITER’S STYLE

Many people find poor grammar and spelling a turn off, and the best of us can make mistakes, so be careful on this point. Always write in full sentences, don’t abbreviate or use text speak. Then read your profile aloud, or ask a friend to double check it. Then put it into Word and use your computer spell check for final peace of mind.

6. UPDATE YOUR PHOTOS

Pictures are an essential part of your profile so use them to full effect. These are a few good examples:

– The Full Face Close Up: Great light, no sunglasses. You’re simply smiling!

– The Full Body: Ideally standing outside.

– The Waist Up: Sitting down and smiling.

– Your Passion: Doing something you really love – snowboarding, sailing etc.

– Your Favourite Place: Local park, the beach or garden, it’s a great conversation starter.

7. BE SPECIFIC

When you’re writing about what sums you up as a person, talk in specifics to give a full flavour of who you are. If you love travelling, say where your favourite place is and why. Anything concrete like this brings you alive to anyone reading, and improves your chances of there being some connecting points.

8. HAVE FUN!

Most people want to find someone who can make them laugh, so show people you have a sense of humour. If you can make someone laugh or someone can make you laugh, it’s a great icebreaker and could get your conversation off to a great start.

9. TWEAK AS YOU GO

Be prepared to tweak the profile as you go along, you can always come back to it and change it if you feel you didn’t quite get it right the first time. Add in your current achievements or hobbies, so if you’ve just started a photography course, then add that to your profile.

10. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES

And finally, think about what you would think if you read your own profile. Are you interested in you? If you feel curious then you are off to a flying start.

eHarmony.co.uk helps its users to meet compatible matches through its patented Compatibility Matching System using data from its detailed Relationship Questionnaire. Unlike other dating sites, eHarmony.co.uk uses the results of the Relationship Questionnaire to match you with others who share similar characteristics, attitudes and beliefs – proven indicators of long term relationship success.

The site also provides its users with a free and in-depth Personality Profile which offers insights into who you are and how others perceive you – as well as what your needs are in a partner. Your profile, in and of itself, can be a valuable dating tool to you in your quest to find true love that lasts. The more you know about yourself, the more you will know what you need from a potential life-partner.