Category Archives: Relationships & Love

Top Tips For Choosing The Ring For The One

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With only 10 full days until the end of 2012, it’s time to get thinking about those all-important New Years Resolutions – What are you going to vow to stick to? Have you got something in mind you want to do that’ll make 2013 unforgettable?

For many couples that have been together for a relatively long time, the turning of a new year can often signify the pondering of the big question; “Will he or won’t he this year?” Yes, that’s right; I’m talking about the big decision of proposing.

Choosing the right time for get down on one knee can be a difficult decision as it is, but choosing the right ring can take on a new meaning of ‘difficult’ altogether; after all you know that you need to buy an engagement ring, but with so many colors, stones and styles available, you feel completely lost in the engagement-ring-jungle.

So, for those of you out there who are thinking that 2013 is going to be the year the for proposing to The One, in order to help you on your quest, here are my top tips for not only choosing the right ring, but for choosing a truly amazing one:

1. Listen To Everything Your Loved One Says

If you’ve got no clue what kind of ring your loved one would love, then a good tip is to listen to everything that the say – because chances are, they will mention things that they like – and if you’re listening hard enough, then they may even mention something to with rings specifically!

Things such as what colour ring they’d like, to even what stone they’d like may be mentioned on the off-chance, so rather than just nodding “yeah, yup, uh-huh” whilst pretending your listening like you usually do, it’ll definitely pay off to listen for once…

2. Ask Family and Friends

The family and friends of your loved one should be one of your first points of call, when it comes to deciding what ring to choose – after all, their mum, dad or siblings are bound to know exactly what they kind of ring they want!

If you also all chip in and put your heads together, chances are, you’ll all contribute to the choosing of a truly amazing ring. So, when you’re about to embark on stepping into the jewelers to take the plunge of buying a ring, make sure you take one of them with you – not only will they help you choose one, but at least you won’t have to take the sole blame if your choice isn’t to their liking!

3. Look At Their Other Rings For Sizes

Now I know what you’re thinking: “You have sizes for rings? Surely, they just come in small, medium and large, right?” Well, unfortunately for you they don’t – engagement rings or eternity rings sizes are normally determined by a range of letters.

So, if you have no clue what size your loved one is, then a good tip is to take one of their most worn rings and take it with you into the shop when you’re choosing one – the jewelers may then be able to determine what size ring they may need. However, it’s important to note what ring they normally wear that chosen ring on – after all, your ring finger is a completely different size to the middle or forefinger!

 

 

 

An Introduction to BDSM – a beginner’s guide by Tiffany Reisz

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Here is an excellent guide to BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) from erotic writer Tiffany Reisz. Perfect for turning up the heat in winter, and beyond.

  1. Think about why you want to try. A healthy sexual relationship should be about having fun and enjoying each other. There are many different ways to inject a touch spice into your sex life and BDSM although scary sounding can be a fun way of adding a touch of ooh lah lah as well as bonding you and your partner. In more ways than one, perhaps!

 

  1. Think first – Before you approach the topic of introducing BDSM into your sex lives, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons: to get closer and deeper into the relationship, enjoy and celebrate each other as well as to spice up your sex life.

 

  1. Talk about it – How else will you know what you want to explore? Talk about what type fantasies you may have – it’s part of the fun discussing and planning what you think you want to try out. BDSM needs a lot of communication.

 

  1. First steps – Try out some fantasies in ‘non-threatening areas’ such as during phone sex. It’s a fun way of easing into roleplay and can be done throughout the day at unexpected times.  It may help to suggest days and times when it’s best to call – the last thing you want is to have someone else answer the it!

 

  1. Light bondage is always fun, sensual and sexy. For example, my favorite scene in The Prince involves nothing more than light bondage. Søren has his lover Kingsley tied to a bed so Kingsley can’t move his hands. The only thing Søren does is touch and kiss Kingsley every where except where Kingsley wants to be touched and kissed. Orgasm denial mixed with light bondage is a delightful way to sensually torture your partner. Tease him or her until they’re begging for release and only when they’ve begged enough do you give them what they want.

 

  1. BDSM doesn’t require expensive equipment or a dungeon all your own. Household objects can be used for light pain-play. Do you own a leather belt. It’s great for light-whipping on the bottom or back of the thighs. Søren and Kingsley don’t have access to BDSM equipment when they first become lovers at school That doesn’t stop them from doing pain-play. Everything from a belt to a thin but sturdy tree branch can be used. If it was good enough for our grandparents to punish our parents with, it’s good enough for us to use during S&M play.

 

  1. Mistress Nora loves sensual BDSM. She loves mixing pain with pleasure. In The Siren, she ties a young man spread-eagle to a bed on his back, mounts him in women superior position, and drips candle wax on his chest during the sex. Pleasure + Pain = Magic.

 

 

  1. Keep communicating – BDSM is always about communication. After sex or while you are feeling especially close to your partner, it’s good to share things and let each other know how it felt, what parts you may want to do again.  It is critical to know when one of you wants to stop. Agree on a ‘stop’ word or signal – remember some areas of BDSM may mean difficulty in speaking (mouth lightly gagged, for example).

 

 

  1. Take Turns – As with everything, it is give and take. Agree to try out something new and take turns. As time goes on, you will both learn who is the ‘dominant’ and who is the ‘submissive’. Kingsley had no idea he had a submissive/masochistic side until the first time Søren held him down by his wrists on a bed. It’s something as simple as enjoying or loathing being held down that can tell you what your sexual persuasion is.

 

  1. Keep it coming As you continue to play these games, your relationship will reach levels of trust, communication, and intimacy that you’ve never experienced before so introduce it as regularly as you see fit.

 

By Tiffany Reisz who’s book ,The Prince is out now

 

 

Christmas Magic By Nora Roberts | Book Review

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Two magical Christmas stories from the New York Times Bestselling author who has over 400 million books in print worldwide.

All I Want For Christmas is a story of a single father raising his six-year-old twin sons after his wife walks out. He has built a barrier around himself, but can his sons new music teacher melt the ice around his heart?

All I want for Christmas is an adorable story. As fun and escapist as a Hollywood rom-com. The characters of the twins, Zeke and Zach, are particularly wonderful.

This Magic Moment has Ryan Swan, the daughter of a tough entertainment businessman trying to prove her worth to her father, falling in love with a magician. But Ryan has never needed anyone or anything, can Pierce Atkins and Ryan get over their baggage and fall in love?

Christmas Magic by New York Times bestselling author Nora Roberts is the perfect weekend read. Just open the pages and relax.

Christmas Magic (Mills & Boon Special Releases)

Once Upon a Christmas By Sarah Morgan | Book Review

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Once Upon a Christmas By Sarah Morgan

Bryony’s daughter, Lizzie, wants a dad for Christmas and she’s determined to fulfil this Christmas wish. But when every date ends in disaster, Bryony fears she’ll need a Christmas miracle. Lizzie is trying to find love but her friend Helen is doing the opposite, trying to forget the white dress hanging in her wardrobe and her faithless rat of a fiancee. These are the two different stories in this enjoyable book.

Two of the characters in this book, Bryony and Jack, work as doctors and Sarah Morgan obviously knows what she is talking about. I found the medical facts in this book incredibly interesting. I also loved the character of Lizzie. Bryony’s daughter.

This book is split into two stories but with some of the same characters in each. Each one is a fun read. This is a very enjoyable book. A good way to spend a relaxing Sunday.

Once Upon a Christmas (Mills & Boon Special Releases)

Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe By Fiona Harper | Book Review

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Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe is a well written and fun book. Single mum Louise Thornton divorces her philandering movie star husband and buys an old movie stars house. Louise wants to escape the paparazzi and her vacuous former life as a trophy celebrities wife.

Louise is a great character. She has become hardened thanks to her life as a movie stars wife, believing that everyone wants something from her. She has built a barrier around herself but will she manage to grow and let love in?

I read this book at quite a fast pace. It is very readable and flows well. A fun way to spend an afternoon.

Is a second chance at love the best Christmas gift of all? Single Mum Louise Thornton’s waved goodbye to the red carpet and escaped for Christmas in the country. But she can’t avoid the mistletoe…

Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe (Mills & Boon Special Releases)

Snowfall at Willow Lake by Susan Wiggs | Book Review

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Snowfall at Willow Lake by Susan Wiggs is more than just a typical romance book. Sophie, the main character, is an international lawyer who works at The Hague. She puts bad people away but her personal life has suffered. She is now divorced and her children live with their father. On the day her ex-husband remarries something horrific happens and she decided to be more present in her childrens lives.

I really enjoyed this book. It is well-written and interesting. Sophie is a high achieving women. She is smart and has lived her life. She may have been absent from her childrens lives but if she was a man she would not have to defend the fact that she has a high powered job.

Although I really loved this book, It is a good read with characters that are likable, Then the other side of me hates that a women has to atone for having a job which means that maybe she did not see her children everyday or had a nanny. Women beat themselves up a lot, but no more so than other women do. This book brings up these issues and it is a good thing. At one sport event the character has to put up with the bitchiness of the other mothers, who attack her for living her own life, probably out of jealousy or regret.

I really liked this book. It is a triumph to its genre. Recommended.

Snowfall at Willow Lake is the story of what comes after a woman survives an unspeakable horror and finds her way home, to healing and redemption and a new chance at happiness.

Snowfall at Willow Lake (The Lakeshore Chronicles)

Sex Toys For Older People and Disabled

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Desire and Pleasure, the online sex toy website from charity FPA’, is launching a revolutionary inclusive selection of sex toys.

The range was created after research found that older people and the disabled are poorly catered for when it comes to sex toys, products and information on how to use them.

Selected For You aims to provide ergonomically designed products that are easy to grip, can be controlled remotely and are easier to use by those with limited mobility, dexterity issues or suffer from fatigue.

The products have been selected by experts and sex toy reviewers to ensure that the most suitable products have been chosen. Their feedback has been compiled and today the range goes on sale.

Terry Hawkins, Business Development Manager at FPA says: “Our research shows that there is demand from older and disabled people, but it is not often clear which products are most appropriate for them or how they should be used.  We are aiming to solve this conundrum. Selected For You will eventually become the world’s most inclusive range.

“One of the most neglected audiences  has been older people. We are finding that a lot of older people are either still sexually active or back on the dating circuit again. Many older people are still very physically and mentally active and don’t need special products.  Rather than specially designed products, what they need is information on how to use the products, what they are and how to do so safely.”

FPA welcome feedback from customers who visit the site about our product range and the information we provide. By listening to their comments FPA  is continually finding out more about how we can help sectors of the marketplace who have up until now been unable to find products to suit their individual needs.

The website www.desireandpleasure.co.uk was launched by FPA in September as a social enterprise to help fund the sexual health charity which runs telephone helplines, and campaigns on major issues.

The Ghost of Relationships Past

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The old phrase ‘lesson learnt’ is never truer than after the end of a relationship. With each heart break we experience we take something different from it. But do we ever truly move on if we keep repeating the mistakes of our past relationships?

Relationship expert for online match maker eHarmony.co.uk, Dr Gian Gonzaga says “sometimes people lose faith in finding love because they seem to be continually attracted to the ‘wrong’ type of people”.  According to Gonzaga, at times it can seem as though no matter how hard we try we end up with the same problems but with different people, like magnets that attract the same situation over and over again.  It’s time we examine where we are going wrong and eradicate the real issue, to really be able to move on and find lasting love.

So excavate the past to create a different future for yourself:

The common denominator

Look at all your past relationships, write them down if it helps, and ask yourself these questions about each one. What attracted you to the person in the first place? What caused the relationship to end? Were there signs early on in the relationship that there were problems but you ignored them?

Old relationships are never wasted, they are a rich source of information which you can go back over to discover what you could do differently in the future. Be really honest with yourself and try to look at the relationship from an outsider’s point of view. What you are looking for is the similarities between them to see if there is a pattern.

Is the thing that attracts the thing that destroys?

Are you attracted to creative, emotionally unavailable men and then the relationship ends because you don’t get enough attention? Or are you drawn to bright, bubbly women but then fail to get very far because you feel threatened when she flirts with your mates?

Look at the people who have qualities that you find attractive – not just the ones you have had relationships with but also people in the media, friends etc. What is it in them that you find attractive? Then look at yourself and develop those qualities in yourself rather than waiting for someone else to come and make you feel that way.

Don’t fall for someone’s potential

This is the most common mistake that people make in relationships. They meet someone and they fall in love with what they ‘could be’ rather than what they ‘are’ today. They believe that if they love this person enough; give them lots of encouragement, support and everything they need in order to blossom that they will have a wonderful relationship together. Although this often comes from a loving place it is starting a relationship from the basis of wanting to change the other person rather than accepting and loving them as they are. It is a great feeling to be the hero or heroine in another person’s life but it is rarely going to lead to a healthy relationship because the basis of the relationship isn’t equal.

Look in the mirror

When a relationship ends it can be comforting to think it was all the other person’s fault but that attitude is depriving you of the opportunity of finding out what you could do differently next time. Look back through the story of your time together and look at your own behaviour. At what points could you have done something differently? Are you angry with all men/women because of things that have happened in your past? If so now might be the time to get some help if you really want things to change.

Change your mind

Just like any other area of life, relationship choices can become habitual and instinctive. We often dismiss potential matches simply because they don’t conform to an image we have in our head of ‘our type’. Open your mind and heart and start saying ‘yes’ to communication or dates with matches that you would normally dismiss out of hand, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Noone’s fate is fixed in stone, we can all change and grow and even if you have never had a healthy relationship in the past it is no reason that you never will in the future.

http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/start-with-you/2011/11/how-to-make-your-future-love-life-different-from-your-past