I am a Freelance Working Mother and This is What it is Like

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working mother, working, parent, freelance, parenting, writer, writing, Catherine BalavageHello there from the trenches of working motherhood. I am a freelance writer and editor with two children under three. Today I feel faintly refreshed after having a few hours sleep last night. I get asked a lot what it is like being a freelance writing mother so I want to take you through my week. I will also update you as time goes on. Welcome to my world.

Last week my son was ill and not in nursery. He goes to nursery part-time. Three hours five days a week. Thankfully it is a nursery in a state school so is free. Unlike his previous nursery which cost over £1600 a term. Anyway, back to the point. So my son was ill, my daughter had a little cold and the freelance Gods thought this would be a good time for me to get a lot of work. I find as a freelancer that I get a lot of work all at once, or barely any. I make more money at the beginning of the year than I do the end. So my son was ill, I had no childcare and the baby was not sleeping at night. Even more than usual. Now, she doesn’t sleep anyway. She is sixteen months old and has slept though the night once. So I am one tired mama. And as usual, everything was happening at once.

I got a lot of work, hundreds of emails to go through, this mag to run and a million other things to do. It is full on and stressful. I would not want it any other way but I would quite like a spa day. To top it off my husband went off to Scotland for two days on a work trip. I swear, I do not know how single mothers do it. Both children were up all night and I ended up shaking from head to toe in my bed from the exhaustion. I get people telling me to just take it easy when it comes to my work, or to quit. It infuriates me. No one tells me to not be up all night with the baby, or to not do domestic crap, but doing something for myself and continuing to work on my career? Yeah, let’s give up the thing that keeps me sane.

In December I passed a writing course I was doing. It was intense and stressful doing it while looking after two children but I now have the certificate. The sense of pride and accomplishment always makes it worthwhile. I love working. There are many benefits to work other than money. There is the social aspect, the accomplishment, the contribution to society and the world as a whole. Work is important so I will carry on. Even when it means keeping one eye on the children while working on my computer.

I wrote my first novel by putting my son in the pram and walking until he fell asleep. I would then write two thousand words. Every day. No excuses. It worked and that is the thing about being a freelance working mother. You find what works and then you do it. It leaves you with valuable skills. I would not give it up for anything. I hope you find some of the upcoming posts helpful. Feel free to comment and you can email me at frostmagazine at gmail.com

 

Mother: An Unconventional History By Sarah Knott

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mother an unconventional history by sark knott, book, book reviews, mothering, being a mother

Mother: An Unconventional History By Sarah Knott is a unique and fascinating book. An intoxicating blend of history, autobiography and anthropology. I loved it and read through it as quickly as possible. It brings women from every social class and time together. Essential reading for all mothers.

What was mothering like in the past?

When acclaimed historian Sarah Knott became pregnant, she asked herself this question. But accounts of motherhood are hard to find. For centuries, historians have concerned themselves with wars, politics and revolutions, not the everyday details of carrying and caring for a baby. Much to do with becoming a mother, past or present, is lost or forgotten.

Using the arc of her own experience, from miscarriage to the birth and early babyhood of her two children, Sarah Knott explores the ever-changing habits and experiences of motherhood across the ages. Drawing on a disparate collection of fascinating material – interrupted letters, hastily written diary entries, a line from a court record or a figure in a painting – Mother vividly brings to life the lost stories of ordinary women.

From the labour pains felt by a South Carolina field slave to the triumphant smile of a royal mistress pregnant with a king’s first son; from a 1950s suburban housewife to a working-class East Ender taking her baby to the factory; from a pioneer with eight children to a 1970s feminist debating whether to have any; these remarkable tales of mothering create a moving depiction of an endlessly various human experience.

Available here.

SISTER SCRIBES: CASS GRAFTON ON WHY IT’S GOOD TO TALK

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Recently, I was on a writing retreat – one that lived up to its name, being only accessible by boat at high tide (or after a hike through the woods from the nearest village). Hosted by Kath Morgan and Jane Moss of The Writing Retreat, the theme was simply ‘Time to Write’, which we had in abundance.

There were only 6 of us, and we soon developed our favourite spots for contemplation and scribing: at the wooden table by the creek, in the large window seat in the sitting room or even on the pontoon jutting out into the river.

I wrote in my room during the day, either in my own window seat with its fabulous water views or at the desk I’d tugged into place between the window and the extremely large bed (known as Robert Plant’s bed – long story, but there’s also a recording studio under the main house)!

Despite the obvious benefits of a retreat – that longed-for chance to focus on nothing but writing, allowing your mind to wander, your characters to fully take hold of you and the story in a way they often can’t when you’re surrounded by the minutiae of daily life – I was able to indulge in something else: time to talk, not only with fellow writers (usually over the yummy lunches and dinners) but also during one-to-one sessions with Kath or Jane.

These sessions brought answers to dilemmas I’d spent months battling with: what’s my hook; how do I finish this book that’s been almost done for months; what do I write next? Talking it through, being heard, was all it took for solutions to come, often prompted by the tutors’ insights. I left every one-to-one on a high, inspired and raring to get back to the writing.

This hasn’t been my only chance to talk face-to-face with other writers, of course. Aside from get-togethers with my fellow Sister Scribes, I’ve been co-writing with Ada Bright (for her guest post on being an author, see link below) for years, and despite the thousands of miles and 9-hour time difference separating us, we talk when writing 3 or 4 times a week. We discuss plot, why a character is behaving in such a way, battle out the things we’re struggling with, and we laugh. There’s a lot of laughter!

Do you begin to see the benefit of the talking? Writing can be such a solitary profession. Things go round and round in your head, we hit stumbling blocks, trip over our own words, lose faith, regain it, sometimes question whether we love what we’re doing, whether we should even continue.

Living in Switzerland, as I do, can also be isolating – I can’t meet up with my Sister Scribes as often as I’d like – so imagine my delight when I connected with 3 other British writers who regularly meet up for ‘writerly lunches’! They all pen fabulous psychological suspense novels, with Louise Mangos (@LouiseMangos) published by HQ Digital, Alison Baillie (@alisonbailliex) by Bloodhound Books and Linda Huber (@LindaHuber19), who has a wide portfolio, by Bloodhound Books and their imprint, Bombshell Books. She also writes light romance novels under the name of Melinda Huber.

Aside from lunch and laughter, we share our thoughts and feelings on the sort of things writers value talking about: practical experiences, both in writing and publishing, our ups and downs, our current challenges and our plans for ‘what next’. Oh yes, and there’s the odd glass of Prosecco too!

So write and enjoy it. Embrace it, but if you get the chance, talk to other writers, preferably face to face. You won’t regret it!

 

Find out more about my retreat venue at https://thewritingretreat.co.uk.

 

 

Shadowlands Chichester Festival Theatre: review

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Photo-Manuel-Harlan

Revered author of The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S Lewis (Jack) was also a leading Oxford professor. Setting out his stall right at the start of William Nicholson’s award-winning play, from the lecture podium he offers the theory that only through suffering can we comprehend God’s love absolutely.

Sharing a companionable domestic set-up with brother Warnie, where ‘down time’ consists of philosophical enquiry over a pint in the local with other scholars, it is a sedate and gentle existence.

Enter American writer Joy Gresham. Forthright, brash and with a young son in tow, when it becomes apparent that she needs British citizenship in order to remain in England Jack offers her a ‘technical’ registry office marriage. Soon after, Joy is diagnosed with cancer. Only then, fear and shock forcing his emotional intelligence to catch up with his academic prowess, does he realise that he truly loves her. Insisting on a ‘for real’ bedside wedding ceremony, Joy’s terminal diagnosis also reopens the painful wound of losing his mother to cancer as a boy.

Hugh Bonneville and Liz White inhabit the characters with such conviction that I doubt that I was alone in dabbing my eyes. Equally, the humour is delivered with panache and precision timing.

A terrific supporting cast includes Timothy Watson as Professor Riley, Andrew Havill as Warnie and Emilio Doorgasingh as Rev. Harrington. The role of nine-year-old Douglas Gresham is shared between two boys and on press night Eddie Martin acquitted himself with honours.

Peter McKintosh’s set is both beautiful and clever. Facilitating seamlessly fluid scene changes – vignettes of stylish choreography in their own right – glimpses of Narnia are dreamy and wistful.

Photo-Manuel-Harlan

Nicholson’s play may be nigh on thirty years old but Rachel Kavanaugh’s elegant revival hits home because the universal truth surrounding love and loss does not date: Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

In his exquisite book A Grief Observed C.S Lewis might have been countering Tennyson’s affirmation with a reminder that the poet’s romantic theory still demands a steep price: “The death of a beloved is an amputation.”

A stunning start to the Festival season.

At Chichester Festival Theatre until 25 May.

Tickets: 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk

CHOOSE CHICKEN! ORANGE BUFFALO RESTAURANT REVIEW

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American style chicken wings on our Capital’s doorstep. Yep, that’ll do us!

Orange Buffalo started out as a food truck in Brick Lane and has since gone on to open its thriving Hoxton Square joint, with Tooting next in its sights (set to open this summer) – and we can see why the expansion is happening.

We headed down the Old Street branch, nestled into hipster setting, Hoxton’s Bar and Kitchen. To be frank, the food is incredible. The wings are smothered generously in sauce (which we’ll get to shortly) but even beneath this smothering, the skin remains crispy and the chicken juicy.

So, let’s talk sauces. Their range spans hugely and whilst you can stick to a more subdued heat, there’s a punch-packing bully of a chilli waiting for you to face its wrath – The Viper wing. Apparently, there are more people in the world who have climbed Everest than have gotten through a portion of these and they’re NOT for the faint hearted. Don’t believe us? This menu offers milkshakes and mini milk ice lollies to help handle the heat when you need it. Told you.

Obviously the chicken is the hero here but at the same time, you can’t neglect the sides. Buffalo style curly fries, crispy onion wings and the creamiest mozzarella sticks you might ever taste are all worthy of your tray space. Not forgetting the blue cheese dip, of course.

The whole look and feel of the dish screams America, with all food presented in baskets and the whole space is an ‘order at the bar and collect your tray’ style service, so you’re getting a full 360 experience.

Orange Buffalo Hoxton is definitely a vibey place to say the least so if you’re looking for a relaxed, tete a tete it might not be the spot for you but if you’re looking to get a bit rowdy over some wings before donning your dancing shoes, this is definitely the one for you.

Book a table at the Orange Buffalo website.

 

A trio of books to read for the start of May: by Annie Clarke

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The Beauty of the Wolf by Wray Delaney

This is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, reversing the gender roles of the original fairytale. It will no doubt appeal to many with such topical themes such as gender, sexuality and body positivity.

In the age of the Faerie Queene, Elizabeth 1 a period of ruffles and lace, velvet and satins two newborn babes are cursed, one with beauty, one a beast.

But can beauty be a curse? Only if people can’t see past it to the real person: Beau, in this case, a lad. Meanwhile the beast, the girl, is locked away, out of sight.

An interesting take to suit today’s readership.

Pub. by HQ. hb £12.99/eBook/audio

 

Killing  State by Judith O’Reilly

A pacey thriller published by Head of Zeus whose authors often come up with belters.

Michael North, assassin and spy for hire is good at killing bad ‘uns. But what if his boss, lurking in the shadows in post-Brexit British government, orders him to kill a good ‘un, and a women what’s more… He falters. Will he, won’t he?

But let’s get to the heart of the matter: why is she the target?

Honor Jones MP has started nosing about, asking leading questions, and we all know where that gets the good ‘uns…

So I ask again, what will  North do?  Lovely Frederick Forsyth thinks this author will stick around. So do I.

Pacey, gritty but empathetic. I like it. Bravo Judith O’Reilly.

pub Head of Zeus. hb £14.99

 

The Lost Ten by Harry Sidebottom

Another pacey offering.

A frantic rescue attempt deep behind enemy lines … Sheer adventure. Think Strike Back on the TV but without the bottoms heaving about the place, or Bravo Two Zero. But a different time, and a different place.

Valens a junior officer in the Roman Army joins a crack squad of soldiers on a dangerous mission – to rescue the young Prince Sasan in the inaccessible Castle of Silence.

The junior office soon finds himself in charge  and as he begins to suspect treason in the ranks it appears the mission is not so much one of rescue but suicide. Much like Sharpe in the first of Bernard Cornwell’s novels featuring Richard Sharpe he has to earn his men’s respect before he can do anything else. Pacey, interesting, visual.

Pub by Zaffre hb £12.99

 

Annie Clarke’s novel Girls on the Home Front (Arrow) is published 29th May.

 

MAY BEAUTY EDIT

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Check out our top beauty buys for May – you won’t be disappointed!

Glossier Bubblewrap (£23)

This bombshell is a bit of game changer if we do say so ourselves. Bubblewrap is an ultra-hydrating eye and lip plumping cream. Under eyes and lips will appear fresh, smooth, and hydrated and technically, it’s two purchases in one!

Visit Glossier website to buy

Urban Decay Game of Thrones Eye Shadow Palette (£45)

GoT plus beauty – what more could we want? This 20-shade palette of ultra-blendable matte, shimmer and metallic eyeshadows is full of rich, bold shades. Bringing together earthy neutrals, frosty shimmers and smoky metallic alongside four transformer shades.

Visit Look Fantastic to buy

Golden Krocus Ageless Saffron Elixir (£69)

Korres Golden Krocus Ageless Saffron Elixir Serum is infused with the immense antioxidant power of 1-day fresh Greek saffron to help slow signs of ageing.

Visit Feel Unique to buy

Sesderma Acglicolic Classic Body Milk (£35)

This body milk renews, regenerates and hydrates the skin. Its milky texture not only feels amazing, it’s cooling and smoothes the skin.

Visit Amazon to buy

Embryolisse Complexion Correcting Skincare CC Cream SPF20 (£25)

Embryolisse CC cream contains SPF20 and is a brilliant solution as we approach the warmer weather. Formulated with self-adjusting pigments, it re-plumps the skin and delivers a soft focus effect to blur the appearance of wrinkles, fine lines and dilated pores.

Visit Boots to buy

 

Books for the Bank Holiday

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Yippee! another bank holiday and time to curl up with a book. If you’re looking for something funny, heartbreaking and uplifting why not take a chance with either of these newly published books. The sun might not make an appearance this weekend but you just might find a little warmth and sunshine between the pages of the latest books from bestselling authors Louise Pentland and Claudia Carroll. .

WILDE ABOUT THE GIRL BY LOUISE PENTLAND


After the year from hell, Robin Wilde has bounced back, her love life is ticking along nicely, and she’s finding that being a single mother is actually quite fun. She’s more than ready for whatever life throws at her and when an exciting opportunity at work arises, Robin excitedly steps up, ready to show everyone exactly what she’s made of.

But her best friend Lacey is struggling to conceive and coping with heartbreak, and her daughter Lyla is cultivating an attitude from someone at school. If that wasn’t enough she’s worried about Aunt Kath. Is that bubbly joyous, veneer really just a mask for loneliness?

When push comes to shove can Robin definitely trust the people she must depend on in her fabulous new role?

Life is about to throw a curve ball at Robin Wilde, and she’ll have to make some tough decisions if she’s to take care of those she loves and come out on top.

Louise Pentland is a parenting, lifestyle and beauty blogger, vlogger and fashion designer. Wilde About the Girl is the follow up to her bestselling novel, Wilde Like Me

Published by Zaffre Paperback RRP £7.99

 

THE SECRETS OF PRIMROSE SQUARE BY CLAUDIA CARROLL

 

No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors do they?

It’s late at night and the rain is pouring down on Dublin city streets.

In one quiet house a mother grieves for her dead child. She takes to standing outside the home of the teenage boy she believes responsible.

In a kitchen on the same square, a girl waits anxiously for her mum to come home. She knows exactly where she is, but she knows she cannot reach her.

A few doors down, and a widow sits alone in her room. She has just delivered a bombshell to her family during dinner and her life is about to change forever.

And an aspiring theatre director has just moved in to a flat across the street. Her landlord is absent, but there are already things about him that don’t quite add up . . .

Welcome to Primrose Square

Claudia Carroll lives in Dublin. She is the author of fourteen novels, selling more than half a million copies and gracing the best seller charts regularly.

Published by Zaffre RRP £7.99