Londoner’s Life 26 – By Phil Ryan
Yes Spring is here and so are another two hundred Sushi restaurants BUT the bigger London trend is the ballooning amount of Shisha Restaurants/Cafes. It’s slightly strange now seeing people sitting puffing away like goldfish on acid as they stare silently like cattle at their colleagues. The interesting twist to this is the latest news on how harmful it actually is. Many people are unaware of the health risks from smoking the flavoured tobacco, which can be as damaging as cigarettes if not more so, the British Heart Foundation (BHF) have now said. The number of cafes offering “shisha” tobacco pipes has risen 210% since the smoking ban came into force, a leading cancer charity has warned. Weird huh. It smells so nice and seems so exotic but although it looks harmless enough it actually kills you. Quicker than cigarettes. So next time you feel the urge to look up to the minute and multi international give the shisha a miss and opt for the baklava. The Arab spring here clearly dominated by people coughing their lungs up! On a completely unrelated but still medical note how about the news that some London markets have been selling a funky looking new bracelet made of Jequirity Beans which are a kind or red and black pattern looking beads on a string bracelet. The trouble is they poison you. Yup I’m not kidding it turns out they contain a deadly toxin that is absorbed into the skin. Apparently it doesn’t take much of the toxin either. You couldn’t make it up could you? The London Ambulance service have sent out warnings to trading and standards offices across the capital. I suppose it’s one way of keeping the tourist numbers down.
Meanwhile us Londoners have been bracing ourselves for more Olympic nonsense with the news that some London boroughs are doubling or even quadrupling parking fines in quote ‘sensitive areas’. After Westminster Council’s parking fiasco and collapse but final strike at locals by painting miles of double yellow lines everywhere (despite promising they wouldn’t limit parking) it seems that Councils are really determined to destroy as many London small shops and restaurants as they can. Here in my own area the local Council have ignored the dying traders calls for assistance by effectively tightening the noose of over- zealous parking controls ie free money for them based on flogging us our own road space back. Sneakily they’ve put the prices up without mentioning it and they’ve extended the restricted hours near shops. Plus we don’t have the occasional traffic warden (sorry Parking control assistant sheesh!) No we have hordes of ten or more in gangs. I think the collective noun is a misery of traffic wardens. And of course with the so called Zil Lanes jamming up London during the Olympics we can look forward to the worst traffic issues in living memory. I’m off out of it. Really I have my flights booked. And on my last Olympic point the debacle about Legacy rumbles on. What will the Olympics leave Londoners? Well I can tell you. More super rich property developers. A giant shopping Centre. Er that’s it. Oh yes of course I was forgetting all of this funded by London tax payers for the past years. But at least Lord Coe and the cronies will all do well.
My favourite new topic is the price in London of theatre tickets. I love the theatre but it ain’t cheap. The average West End ticket is now above fifty quid it seems. And here’s a quick example of that. I wanted to see a show at a well known theatre and happily I found a coupon in the Metro newspaper – a two for one offer. So I called them up and found that it came with various restrictions one being that on weekend performances (when I wanted to go – the two for one offer applied only to the £69 seats – yes think about that THE £69 seats) Still I did get a good deal I guess but what? I still paid over £35 plus for a ticket. And don’t get me started on the old comedians well-worn routine about the price of food and drink in theatres. Now whenever I go I see it’s like a well dressed picnic. With savvy Londoners having bulging pockets where they sneak stuff in. Sadly it spoils the cut of a suit or a dress (if you like to dress up a bit) but it makes economic sense if not fashion sense.
Finally I leave you with the opening news of London’s newest Airport. London Southend. Yes you heard me. Southend that place about an hour and a half outside of London or two hours by car. It seems we’re now calling any new airport London. Just like London (Cambridge) Stansted or London (Brighton) Gatwick. The train ticket to get to these London airports are now often higher than the actual plane ticket I kid you not. The London Heathrow Express stands out as the biggest rip off at £19.00 for a 15 minute journey. And my favourite bit. They have a First Class section! Really. 15 minutes of First Class travel how pathetic do you have to be to take that option. I mean just how good can that experience actually be. (I recently went to Dundee First Class – that was 6 hours going at no miles an hour – then you see the difference plus you get free stuff – Although as you pay a lot more it’s not technically free really) Still I guess at least you get there eventually. So now Londoners can whiz up to Southend and fly away from these polluted London streets. If they fancy the trek. But do Londoners worry about this sort of thing. No. Do they care that our airports aren’t in London. No not really. It’s a London thing.
Tom Williams & The Boat – Tooting Tram & Social | Music Review
Where do all the cool people in South West London hang out on a Friday night? If I told you the answer was Tooting you’d probably laugh. You’d be right. They don’t all hang out in Tooting, but some of them do, especially when XFM’s John Kennedy hosts his Remedy club night there.
The Tooting Tram & Social is a wonderful venue in which to watch rock n roll, although one I had trouble finding on account of it being set slightly away from the road and not having a sign outside. It’s located in a converted tram shed, which has retained its original shell; complete with high ceilings and red brickwork. Inside it has been filled with Chesterfield sofas and is lit by chandeliers. Very un-rock n roll – especially with the sofas reminding me of my grandmother’s house.
Tonight the place is filled with an expectant crowd to hear Tom Williams & The Boat, a 6 piece “anti-folk” band from Tunbridge Wells, Kent. The band have been steadily building a following over the past few years and won many admirers in the media. This show is to promote their second album Teenage Blood, released in April, and the interesting thing to note is the band have done things on an entirely DIY basis, with the album funded entirely by fans via Pledgemusic.
The band bound on the stage shortly after 10pm and begin proceedings with Teenage Blood, a song that sounds a bit like Pavement making sweet love to The Low Anthem in youthful abandonment with its “I’ve got teenage blood with a teenage heart” chorus. Right from the off the band’s unassuming stage presence grabs the audience – no need for showmanship here.
The band’s indie-folk sound can sometimes be a little sedate on record but the likes of “My Bones” and “Concentrate” glistened with anger and power on that small stage in Tooting. Violinist Geri switches to saxophone for the foot stomping catchy-pop of 90mph which sounds a bit like Mumford & Sons on ketamine. A couple of new songs, Neckbrace & Too Young got an airing and sounded a little more mature than efforts from the 1st album and lyrically a step forwards. The band close things out on a dark note See My Evil and Get Older display the all out dark dynamism in them and with that they’re gone – off into the night to convert more souls to their cause.
Tonight on stage Tom Williams & The Boat showed Tooting that they’re ready to make that great leap forwards; their clever lyrics bringing to mind Chris T-T and Billy Bragg, their sound is brimming with all sorts of references, but never anything for too long. Hop on board while you can as The Boat seem destined for a fantastic voyage . . .
Image: Jacqui Sadler
Ealing Rose & Crown | Places
The Ealing Rose & Crown is a beautiful pub with very friendly staff. I previously said in an interview with the Ealing Gazette that it was my favourite pub in London, and it still is. It also has a great outdoor area. It is the perfect place to spend lazy summer days. The Rose & Crown is definitely a ‘village pub’. I had my last birthday party here (just after the riots in Ealing, let no-one tell you West Londoners are wimps) I had a brilliant time with my friends and the food was amazing. The décor inside is great too, and it is quite spacious.
The Rose and Crown is a traditional pub, just off the main road in South Ealing. The food is fresh produce with a Mediterranean twist. The kitchen serves home-cooked dishes – try the roasted seabass, grilled lamb steaks. Their Sunday roasts are amazing, but it is best to book ahead.
The Rose & Crown is also the venue for the Ealing Tweetup, which is arranged by Mark Hillary, Mark now lives in Rio, but still comes to London for the Tweetup. That’s dedication.
Rose & Crown.
Church Place St. Mary’s Road, Ealing W5 4HN
020 8567 2811
Email: roseandcrown@fullers.co.uk
Licensee: Tom Tucker
South Ealing (0.2 miles), Northfields (0.5 miles), Ealing Broadway (0.9 miles)
Ealing Broadway (0.8 miles), West Ealing (1 mile), Brentford (1.2 miles)
Mother's Day Ideas
It is mothering Sunday on the 18th and Frost has sourced some gift ideas and treats for the special women in your life.
This Mother’s Day, treat your mum to exclusive and stylish gifts from Isabella Oliver 365. Select from luxurious and timeless pieces such as the Everyday Scarf, the Essential Skinny Belt or the Leopard Skinny Belt, perfect for any chic mum’s wardrobe. Spoil your mum this Mother’s Day and treat her
to a gift that she will always love. To view the collections visit IsabellaOliver.com
. I love all of the collection, it is just effortlessly stylish. 
FROM INDIA WITH LOVE ON MOTHER’S DAY
Mother’s Day is celebrated the world over, and this year British Airways will be flying in a special selection of Mother’s Day cards made with love from the Sreepuer village in Bangladesh.
The beautifully handcrafted cards have a deeper meaning than the words on the cover – as all profits are returned to Sreepur Village, a home for destitute women and children in rural Bangladesh.
Rob Jenkinson, who distributes Sreepur cards in the UK, said: “This Mother’s Day you can make two Mum’s happy as well as making a world of difference to the women of Sreepur. They do an incredible job to create these cards all year round, while bringing up their families below the poverty line. Every single penny makes a difference and goes straight back to the project.”
British Airways has supported the Sreepur project since it was established, helping with vital distribution flying a range of greetings cards into the UK, as well as retailing them internally in their Head Office.
The cards are made from jute, also known as Hessian, which grows in abundance in the area around Sreepur, helped by the ideal wet and warm conditions of the monsoon area. The cards are decorated with a combination of wheat straw and paper, with the finished product made from locally sourced natural products to a high standard.
Mary Barry, British Airways community relations manager said: “We’re so proud to be part of this project. I have seen first hand how the village has been transformed, thanks to the generosity of all the people who buy these cards and I would like to thank them for their contribution.”
There’s still time to buy a card before Mother’s Day on Sunday 18 March, please visit – www.thesreepurvillage.org
If you really cannot think of what to get her, try a gift card.
As demands of the modern day can make it increasingly difficult to dedicate time to the family, we need to make that extra effort to show our appreciation on important dates such as Mother’s Day. ‘Children’, both young and old, should be thinking of ways to thank their mums for those long years of suffering, even if they are not able to spend the day with them. To help with this, the UK Gift Card & Voucher Association (UK GCVA) has surveyed 100 modern day mums and found out what they would really appreciate this Mother’s Day. The top results included:
1. A day out with all the family;
2. To be excused from cooking and cleaning over the Mother’s Day weekend;
3. For a beauty or pampering session;
4. Peace and quiet for the whole 24 hours of Mother’s Day;
5. A voucher for her favourite clothing or make-up brand
The top entry of ‘a day out with all the family’ will not come as a surprise to many, however meeting this request by getting everyone together may be difficult for some families.
Andrew Johnson, director-general of the UK GCVA suggests using gift cards and vouchers to compensate for not being with your mum on Mother’s Day:
“An experience voucher (such as for a family day out at the zoo or a weekend away) is a great way for the whole family to enjoy a fun day out together, and mum can make the most of some quality time with the kids. A bonus of these gifts is that they can be redeemed at any time meaning that, if you’re unable to see your mum on Mother’s Day, the gift can be enjoyed at a later date.
Similarly, if you’re not able to spend the day with her, and she wants peace and quiet, why not send your mum away for a spa day by herself so she can unwind. There is a large selection of gift cards on offer that your mum can choose from for a spa retreat.”
Johnson continues:
“As mums are not generally that demanding of their children, many of you will need to think ‘outside the box’ for ideas to show your true appreciation on Mother’s Day. Gift cards and vouchers are an easy and effective way of doing this. To make up for not being around on the day, a further idea may be to give your mum a voucher for her favourite clothing store so she can treat herself.”
There are so many options available to show our mothers how grateful we are to them and all it takes is a little imagination to ensure that mum has a smile on her face on 18th March.
Love Your Mum with New Zealand Lamb
This Mother’s Day, let Mum put her feet up, and cook a meal that comes straight from the heart. This simple roast recipe is easy enough even for kitchen novices to try their hand at, perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon with the family. For those who are looking for further inspiration, check out www.loveourlamb.co.uk to see New Zealand chef Peter Gordon teaching England rugby star Will Greenwood how to make this meal – live from 1st March 2012. You can view the video on Frost Magazine
Serves: 4-6
Preparation Time: 20 mins
Cooking Time: 2h 20
1 x 2 – 2.5kg leg of lamb
1 large red onion, peeled and chopped
4 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped (optional)
The leaves from 2 x 10cm stalks of rosemary
2 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves (or 1 teaspoon dried thyme)
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 medium parsnips peeled, topped and tailed, cut into chunks
1 bunch baby carrots, scrubbed
800g mashing potatoes, peeled and cut in half
100ml double cream
60g butter
1 medium head broccoli, cut into large florets
150g frozen peas
A small handful mint leaves, torn
1½ tablespoons flour
Preheat the oven to 180?C. Place the lamb in a roasting dish and poke a thin, small knife into it in about 20 places. In a bowl, mix the onion, garlic, rosemary, thyme and olive oil with some salt and pepper and rub this all over the lamb. Leave for 20 minutes, then rub it in again and place in the centre of the oven and roast for an hour.
Turn the lamb over and add the parsnips to the roasting dish along with half a tea cup of hot water. Roast for 45 minutes, basting the lamb with the pan juices a couple of times. Turn the lamb over again and add the baby carrots. It will be cooked medium (which is lovely for a leg of lamb) in another 20-40 minutes.
Boil the potatoes in lightly salted water.
Remove the lamb from the roasting dish and place in a dish loosely covered with foil. Rest in a warm place for 20 minutes.
Drain the potatoes into a colander. Using the pot they were cooked in, bring the cream and all but 1 tablespoon of the butter to the boil. Return the potatoes to the pot and mash them with salt and pepper. Keep a lid on the pot to keep it warm.
Bring another pot of lightly salted water to the boil and add the broccoli. Bring back to the boil and add the peas. Bring back to the boil and cook for 2 minutes. Drain, reserving the liquid, then toss with the reserved butter and mint and keep warm.
If you can place the vegetable roasting dish on the hob, then remove the vegetables. If not, pour the roasting juices into a saucepan. Place over a moderate heat, add the flour and stir to make a paste, then slowly add the juices from the leg of lamb and as much liquid from the vegetables as possible to make gravy. Taste for seasoning.
To serve: simply carve the lamb and arrange on warmed plates with vegetables, mash and gravy.
It’s the thought that counts Now for some stats and facts!
Standard Life’s ‘Your Commitments, Your Future’ report reveals the nation’s true time and money spent on their parents – a clue to what mums might have in store this Mother’s Day.
Treating your parents:
* Adults in the UK spend just £13 a month on average on their parents, that’s just over £150 a year
* In comparison, parents in the UK are spend over three times as much, £456 a year on average, spoiling their children
Thinking about parents:
* Adults in the UK spend on average nearly half an hour (27 minutes) each day thinking about their parents
* However, women think about their parents significantly more than men, with women devoting 10 minutes more each day – that’s nearly 70 hours more each year!
* Women aged 18-24 spend almost three quarters of an hour (44 minutes) each day thinking about their parents, the most of any age group
* In comparison, men in the same age group devote half the time to their parents, just 22 minutes each day
* On the other hand, parents in the UK on average spend 41 minutes a day thinking about their children, with women aged 45-54 devoting almost an hour a day (58 minutes)
Who/what else do we spend time thinking about?
· Partner/Spouse – 50 minutes a day on average
· Work colleagues – 18 minutes a day on average
· Credit card payments – 11 minutes a day on average
· Investments – 6 minutes a day on average
· Current accounts – almost 4 minutes a day on average
· Pensions – 3 minutes a day on average
Julie Russell, Personal Finance Expert at Standard Life, said:
“We spend a lot of time thinking about our families and like to treat the people we love. So it’s worth remembering that planning our future finances can play a key role in our relationships with our loved ones. Whether we’re spoiling our mums with a well-deserved treat this Mother’s Day or planning a fun family break this summer, budgeting and looking ahead is essential. And with the end of the tax year looming, it’s a great time for us all to sit down with our families and think about how we can improve our finances to help us enjoy our family life even more.”
To help people better understand their financial and emotional commitments, Standard Life has published knowyourcommitments.co.uk with an interactive tool and thoughts on financially preparing for the future. Further help with financial planning is also available at yourfuturemoney.co.uk
Now for something a bit different, but an excellent idea.
Newcastle-based Shared Interest is an ethical investment co-operative that aims to reduce poverty in the world by providing fair and just financial services. The Society, which was started in 1990, is the world’s only 100% fair trade lender. Shared Interest accepts investments from UK based individuals as well as from businesses, schools, community and faith groups. Account values range
from £100-£20,000. All invested funds are then pooled and used to make low interest loans to fair trade businesses in the developing world. With the support of over 8,000 members the organisation
was able to lend £40 million over the last 12 months. The organisation has expanded its international
presence in the past three years opening offices in Kenya, Peru and Costa Rica. This regional presence
– and the vital local knowledge that the staff are equipped with – means that they are able to help
even the most remote communities by enabling them to access the credit needed to take goods to market.
Peter Gordon shows ex-England star Will Greenwood how to make a roast leg of lamb
Peter Gordon shows ex-England star Will Greenwood how to make a roast leg of lamb treat,
Watch our video where they show you how to prepare the perfect Mother’s Day treat for the special women in your life this Mothering Sunday
Mother’s Day is the time where we‘re even more grateful for the women in our lives. Whether it’s our mothers, grandmothers or mother in laws, why not try something different this year than the usual chocolates with a card?
Peter Gordon was joined by ex-England international rugby star Will Greenwood, to show him how to prepare a delicious roast leg of lamb meal with all the trimmings on behalf of Will and his children, to allow his wife to enjoy a relaxing Mother’s Day.
Peter Gordon’s delicious leg of lamb with roasted parsnips, baby carrots, buttered peas, broccoli and creamy mashed potato is the perfect recipe to impress this Mother’s Day. Peter talks Will through the recipe showing him how easy it is to try something different.
Peter Gordon is renowned for his culinary philosophy and is famous for his unique fusion cooking style which focuses on the best quality and tastiest ingredients, no matter where they originate from. Peter happily mixes flavours from Asia through to the Middle East, the Mediterranean and Europe, along with his native New Zealand. He owns restaurants in London and New Zealand.
Watch our video and learn how you can give your mum or wife a break this Mothering Sunday with this great lunch.
Mother’s Day Roast Leg of Lamb
For 4-6
Preparation Time:20mins
Cooking Time: 2h 20
1 x 2 – 2.5kg leg of lamb
1 large red onion, peeled and chopped
4 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped (optional)
the leaves from 2 x 10cm stalks of rosemary
2 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves (or 1 teaspoon dried thyme)
2 Tablespoons olive oil
4 medium parsnips peeled, topped and tailed, cut into chunks
1 bunch baby carrots, scrubbed
800g mashing potatoes, peeled and cut in half
100ml double cream
60g butter
1 medium head broccoli, cut into large florets
150g frozen peas
a small handful mint leaves, torn
1 ½ Tablespoons flour
Oven at 180 ?C 2 – 2 ½ hours
Place the lamb in a roasting dish and poke a thin small knife into it in about 20 places.
In a bowl, mix the onion, garlic, rosemary, thyme and olive oil with some salt and pepper and rub this all over the lamb.
Leave for 20 minutes, then rub it in again and place in the centre of the oven and roast for an hour.
Turn the lamb over and add the parsnips to the roasting dish along with half a tea cup of hot water.
Roast for 45 minutes, basting the lamb with the pan juices a couple of times.
Turn the lamb over again and add the baby carrots.
It will be cooked medium (which is lovely for leg of lamb) in another 20-40 minutes.
Boil the potatoes in lightly salted water.
Remove the lamb from the roasting dish and place in a dish loosely covered with foil and rest in a warm place for 20 minutes.
Drain the potatoes into a colander, then using the pot they were cooked in bring the cream and all but 1 Tablespoon of the butter to the boil. Return the potatoes to the pot and mash them with salt and pepper, keep a lid on the pot to keep warm.
Bring another pot of lightly salted water to the boil and add the broccoli. Bring back to the boil and add the peas. Bring back to the boil and cook 2 minutes. Drain, reserving the liquid, then toss with the reserved butter and mint and keep warm.
If you can place the vegetable roasting dish on the hob then remove the vegetables. If not, pour the roasting juices into a saucepan. Place over a moderate heat, add the flour and stir to make a paste, then slowly add the juices from the leg of lamb and as much liquid from the vegetables to make a gravy. Taste for seasoning.
To serve: simply carve the lamb and arrange on warmed plates with vegetables, mash and gravy.
Go Fairtrade This Mothering Sunday.
Buy Fairtrade bouquets this Mothering Sunday and ‘Take a Step for Fairtrade’ to help mothers in developing countries
Mothers up and down the country will receive up to seven million stems of Fairtrade flowers from their loved ones this Mothering Sunday, the Fairtrade Foundation can reveal.
Mothering Sunday is a celebration honouring all mothers and is a day to give thanks for all the things they have done over the years. And with Fairtrade bouquets available from Asda, Interflora, J&E Page, John Lewis, Marks & Spencer, Morrisons, Next, Ocado, Postal Bouquets, Sainsbury’s, Somerfield, Tesco, The Co-operative, Waitrose and Whole Foods Market, there’s plenty to choose from.
New for Mothering Sunday 2012, treat your mum to a beautiful Mother’s Day Fairtrade Pink Rose Bouquet from Marks & Spencer or their Fairtrade Rose and Fresia Gift Bag. And Interflora is selling a vibrant Fairtrade Mini Sunflower Hand Tied Bouquet which will add a cheerful note of colour to any room.
Estimated UK retail sales of Fairtrade flowers in 2011 reached £26 million, or 75 million stems. It’s expected that sales of Fairtrade flowers for Mothering Sunday alone will provide £100,000 in additional Fairtrade Premiums for workers on flower farms to invest in community projects.
Flower farms have long been a key employer in Kenya, providing jobs in areas where there are few alternatives and ensuring a valuable source of export revenue for the country. With more than half of Kenya’s population of 37 million living in poverty, the cut flower industry plays an important role in providing employment and alleviating poverty. Around 55,000, many of them women and mothers themselves, are directly employed in the industry, while a further 2 million people, indirectly depend on jobs in the flower industry.
Fairtrade certification provides an independent verification that workers on these large-scale flower farms have decent wages and working conditions in line with the core International Labour Organization (ILO) Conventions. This includes the right to join a trade union, the right to negotiate collectively with the employer on terms and conditions of employment, freedom from discrimination, a safe and healthy working environment and no child labour.
As with conventional sales, the farms negotiate a price with the exporters who buy their flowers for the Fairtrade market. This price includes an additional payment called the Fairtrade Premium, set at 10% of the negotiated price. This premium money is reserved specifically for investment in projects which benefit the workers and their wider communities. Decisions about how the premium is used are made by a Joint Body of elected workers and management representatives, in consultation with the workforce.
Dan Morey, Business Development Manager for flowers at the Fairtrade Foundation said:
‘If you haven’t had time yet to buy your gift, why not treat your mother to some Fairtrade flowers or Fairtrade chocolate for Mother’s Day? Throughout the year we want everyone to take as many ‘steps’ for Fairtrade as possible and buying a thoughtful and considered present is the perfect way to take your step for the women who grow your flowers. We have over a million steps still to take this year to reach our target of 1.5 million. So, please make your Mothering Sunday gift a memorable one. And, don’t forget to register your step online at step.fairtrade.org.uk.’
And it’s not just the flower producers who benefit when you buy a Fairtrade bouquet. Tropiflora in Sri Lanka, which employs about 100 workers, now exports mini pot plants and Fairtrade foliage – the green leaves that give the backing to bunches of flowers. Currently just 16 percent of their sales are on Fairtrade terms so they are justly proud of their achievements this year. In particular, they have invested much of their Premium in a revolving loan fund for workers so that the same pot of money can be used in multiple schemes. Projects have included providing small loans for individuals, running English classes, buying books for children, setting up sports teams and funding hospital equipment.
For more information, visit www.fairtrade.org.uk/flowers
CELEBRITY MUMS SHARE THEIR BEAUTY TIPS
Gwyneth Paltrow – maintain a blow dry
“This stuff’s great when your hair needs a little spiffing up, especially when it’s starting to get a bit greasy. If you want to maintain a blow dry or don’t have time to do a full wash and blow out, this really does the trick. It gets right to the roots and brings back volume and makes your hair less oily.”
Klorane Gentle Dry Shampoo with Oat milk is priced £7.50 for 150ml from John Lewis. For all stockist enquiries please call 01582 820 165.
Charlotte Church – care for sensitive skin
“The Trilogy Sensitive Moisturising Cream is the best moisturiser ever, I use it every day and it makes a huge difference to my skin. When I stopped using it for a few days my skin really suffered as a result.”
Trilogy Sensitive Moisturising Cream is £24.50 for 50ml from Trilogyproducts.co.uk

Denise Van Outen – beat stretch marks
Denise Van Outen revealed her secret to keeping stretch marks at bay was “good ol’ Bio-Oil”, explaining “At night I covered myself in Bio-Oil before bed”.
Bio-Oil is £8.95 for 60ml, Boots.
Katie Holmes – keep it covered
Katie Holmes’ hectic lifestyle as an A-List mum never shows on her skin. We can reveal that her secret is Keromask Camouflage Cream. It offers long-lasting, water-proof and smudge-proof coverage of all sorts of tell-tale signs including dark under eye circles and spots.
Keromask Camouflage Cream is £14.99 from Keromask.com
Victoria Beckham – bee beautiful
Victoria Beckham is a fan of bee venom to keep her skin looking youthful and glowing.
Manuka Doctor’s Purified Bee Venom Repairing Skin Cream is £24.99 Holland & Barrett
Sophie Dahl – look fresh-faced
Sophie Dahl stays fresh faced with a spritz of the Avène Thermal Water Spray “This keeps my skin from getting dry”
Eau Thermale Avène Water Spray is £6.50 for 150ml from Boots
Reality Tv? Look no further.
Well, I’ve been away from these wild pages for a short while… I know, I know… it’s been hard for you. Those long winter nights must have been like long winter nights but fear not- stout fellows, for I am reborn in the guise of Reality TV reviewer and blogger, both here on the beautifully popular Frost Magazine and for a brand new website dedicated to everything theatrical: www.stagestatus.co.uk.
As many of you will already know, I’m extremely opinionated so I guarantee I shall be saying stuff that many of you will disagree with, and I’m NOT a performer- of any kind. As I wrote that I could almost hear the luvvies amongst you hissing like vampires in a tanning salon.
Don’t get me wrong, I have ‘connections’ and I am qualified- well enough to write this anyway. I’m not just some fat , northern, gobby bloke who resents the fact that for every Billy Elliot there are thousands of bog-standard plebs still shoveling shit every day and he’s one of them. Neither am I someone who has tried to make it vocally- queued up for X Factor only to be told by some teenager with a clipboard and a lanyard, ‘you’re not even talented enough to be ridiculed’.
I just don’t have the talent to perform… but I can write.
Wherever you get your fix of TV you’ll have about as much chance of avoiding the reality gushing from it as I have of avoiding the reality of man boobs- in other words, it’s way too late so just go with the flow and find someone you can trust to measure your cup size.
That would be me.
I shall be starting in earnest with ‘The Voice’. Currently the biggest TV show in America and already a huge hit in 29 other countries. The BBC have spent 22 million pounds of our money getting it over here so I intend to make sure I get my money’s worth.
Following that I shall be sinking my teeth into the latest ALW search for Jesus in the vain hope that the real thing will turn up and get rejected for not being ‘jesusy enough’ by someone so uptight they have their farts auto-tuned to stop them accidentally attracting sheep dogs.
Until these delicious freak shows- or amazing opportunities to unearth undiscovered gems, depending on your viewpoint, are with us, here’s my view of two of the current crop- just to give you an idea of how I think.
Dancing on Ice: Love it! Want to lose myself in Katarina Witt beyond the reach of even the coast guard and genuinely respect the amount of time and effort the celebrities have had to put into it. Plus, anything with Philip Schofield in is TV gold for me as I like to pretend he’s my actual friend so I’m clocking up TV minutes in his ‘company’ like air miles in the hope it will eventually become official. I’m glad Louie Spence took over from Jason because it was just turning, like so many other Judge-based panel shows, into a showcase for the judges and not the talent. I love Chico as much as any straight man can and I think Jorgie will win because she’s clearly the most talented at the job in hand from every angle. My only bugbear about the little fire cracker is the way she pretends to be a six year old at Alton Towers every time she speaks. “Oh my golly, it was so, so, so, hard and everything! Ooh, I’ve got sparkly on my nosey. Time for bo bo’s. Will you read me a story unky Phil?” And then she goes out and performs with the kind of steely determination that could force the Terminator to re-word his catch phrase to, “I’ll only be back if the public decide to keep me in.” If you can perform like that and are happy to occupy the wank-banks of every lads mag reader in the country then you could at least talk like someone who eats without a bib.
Take me out: With pleasure- I’m just waiting for the bullets I bought on Ebay to arrive and the I’ll be right on it, till then I’m afraid it’s, ‘No ammo- no blammo!’
So there you are.
One thing I will add is that in this age of media submersion- a phrase I just made up so bear with me, reading things like this used to be a one-way street. I wrote stuff then you read it, flushed the bog and went back to work. Nowadays it’s more conversational. We have the ability to respond to the idiotic and clearly misguided views of gits like me and that’s precisely what I want you to do. If you are a performer, or a ‘creative’ or you’re a member of the public (the most important people of all), and you have a view then educate me- tell me that you once worked with the no-mark I’ve just torn to pieces and he/she is actually bloody good and deserves a break.
I’ll be there. I won’t be getting into any slagging matches and I may not have time to respond to every comment but I’ll be about, writing and reading and, most importantly of all, maybe, just maybe (but doubtfully if I’m honest- and I usually am) changing my mind. It can happen and that’s the beauty of a blog on a website over a newspaper column or a TV show.
So please feel free to comment either via the main website forums or on my twitter account @elywhitley because, at the end of the day, your opinion is just as valid as mine and as long as what I write gets people talking, either in agreement or disagreement, then I’ve done my job.
To paraphrase the famous saying: Opinions are like arse holes- everyone’s got one… and even Simon Cowell’s stinks now and again. Also, I tend to communicate through mine so don’t worry if it leaves a nasty taste in your mouth… ever get the feeling you’ve taken an analogy too far?
The voice begins on 24th March so I shall be spewing my thoughts from then onwards- may God have mercy on my soul.

