Tag Archives: BBC

The Unpaid Acting Work Dilemma by Professionally Resting.

Posted on by

Casting call: ““Unfortunately we’re not able to offer a fee on this occasion.”

Sadly this type of casting call is one that I’m all too used to seeing. At least 75% of castings will
contain the above sentence or a wonderfully inventive version of it (such as the incredible ‘This is
a no-pay experience!’) It’s unfortunately become a fact of acting life and I’ve become as skilled as
sifting through castings as I have at rifling through sandwiches for rogue tomatoes. Directors will try
and soften the blow by telling you that you’ll get a credit to put on your CV (gee, thanks) and that
they’ll be providing you with food on set. On-set catering can be a thing of beauty (pizza) but it can
also be an utter horror made of stale sandwiches. Apparently actors can live on credits and bread
alone. If only landlords, phone companies and councils could be fobbed off in the same way.

Unpaid work has become a rather aggressive disease in the acting world. What was once the domain
of film students and wannabe filmmakers; it has now entered the world of television. And this is
a worrying development. I understand that however much they’d like to, students and smaller
production companies can’t always afford to pay people. The ethics bother me because I believe
that if you can’t afford to pay everyone then you probably shouldn’t be making the piece in the first
place but that’s an argument for another day. Unpaid work happens and sadly, just like the damp in
our flat, I have to deal with it for now and watch it ever so slowly ruin me. I should also admit that
I’ve taken on my fair share of unpaid work in the past. Unfortunately there are times when you have
very little choice and so you can either do nothing or take on some unpaid work in the hope that
it might just get you spotted. It won’t, but you never know when that top agent is going to turn up
at a secondary school in Northampton to watch you prance about telling kids about the dangers of
heroin. But now the bigger companies have jumped on the bandwagon and suddenly everything is
starting to topple over.

There have been a string of very high-profile companies that have recently started advertising
unpaid or expenses only work. And when I say ‘high-profile’ I mean the type of companies
that produce widely watched primetime programmes that air on terrestrial channels. These
are companies that clearly have plenty of money, or at least enough cash to make sure that all
performers are fairly paid. When they start offering unpaid work, what kind of message does that
send out to all the other companies? Apparently it’s now perfectly acceptable for these businesses
(one of whom made a profit of £471m last year) to get performers to work for free. But these
companies forget that actors often have a lot of time on their hands so it doesn’t take too long
before they’re ousted via the beauties of social networking. But what happens when they get found
with their devious trousers around their tight-fisted ankles? Well, what has happened recently
is that they make like George Osborne and u-turn. However, they don’t then promise to do the
honourable thing and actually pay actors. Oh no. Their reaction is to say that they will instead be
casting friends, family or employees. That’s what this profession has been downgraded to. Actors
are now regarded so poorly that we can be instantly replaced with the make-up artist’s cousin and
the focus puller’s university mates the second we start to complain. We find ourselves so low on the
career ladder that we’ve now been downgraded to the lackey that just holds the ladder and watches
everyone else climb up it.

So what this means is that actors will yet again be forced into unpaid work as they desperately try
to keep hold of a career that’s more slippery than a greased-up seal. We continually find ourselves
being held to ransom where we can either ‘shut up and put up’ or keep fighting and risk the chance
of never working again. Just like the next actor, I’d love the exposure that a primetime programme
would offer but never at my own expense and certainly not just so an exec can save a few precious
pennies and ensure that their bonus is intact for another year. Why should they get to go on exotic
holidays when I’m left wondering how to survive for the next week on a tin of chopped tomatoes
and a rapidly ageing nectarine? It’s at its lowest, meanest level and until all actors make a stand against these companies, all we’re doing is encouraging them to turn our already fragile
industry into a laughing stock.

Chet Faker announce UK tour | Music News

Posted on by

Australian warbler Chet Faker has announced a handful of UK shows, following his shows at Austin’s SXSW festival where he was touted as a “must see” act by The Austin Chronicle. His cover of Blackstreet’s ‘No Diggity’ has received warm radio support from the likes of Zane Lowe, Lauren Laverne, and Gilles Peterson.

Melbourne-base Chet will touch down in the UK for shows in May, playing the BBC Introducing showcase at The Social and YoYo at Notting Hill Arts Club, as well as a series of performances at The Great Escape Festival in Brighton.

Chet Faker UK shows:

08/05 – The Social, London (BBC Introducing)
10/05 – YoYo, Notting Hill Arts Club, London
11/05 – The Great Escape Festival, Brighton (Chess Club & Neon Gold Showcase)
12/05 – The Great Escape Festival, Brighton (Sounds Australia Showcase)

Allo Darlin’: new album and live shows | Music News

Posted on by
London-based indie-poppers Allo Darlin’ are set to release their hugely anticipated second album “Europe” on 11 May by Fortuna POP! To celebrate this they’re taking themselves off to spend the next 6 weeks touring the US.
There will be a special bonus CD that comes with the new album when purchased via Rough Trade. The bonus CD includes covers of songs by Eux Autres, Darren Hayman, The Ramones, Bruce Springsteen and AC/DC.
Coming very much from a DIY approach, they inspire true dedication from their fans, many of whom will travel hundreds of miles to see them. In their brief lifetime they have toured the USA four times, sold out tours across the UK and embarked on an epic five-week European tour. The band have also been strongly supported by BBC 6music, recording several sessions including one at Maida Vale Studios.
Their self-titled debut was released to universal acclaim in 2010 with plaudits including being named No. 2 record of the year by online retailer eMusic, and a glowing 1,200 word essay by legendary Go-Between Mr. Robert Forster in the Australian critical magazine, The Monthly.
“Europe” is released on 11 May on Fortuna POP!

The Voice. Week 4

Posted on by

So the ‘blind’ auditions are over at last. They may have been about as blind as the ‘all-seeing-eye’ but more on that later.

I want to get the good stuff out of the way before I rant about the auditions because, regardless of what may or may not be wrong with it, we’ve been given the chance to see some real quality.


The best bits of this week’s show were people like the young Ruth Brown, a 19 year-old with a voice like Gloria Gaynor-meets-Mischa B. Lindsey Butler, the 41 year-old who sang like I, personally, really wanted to hear her sing- beautifully and with genuine tone, depth and character. There was Becky Hill. A great voice but with ‘trouble’ written all over her face. I can see her storming out more often than Cher Lloyd with the trots.

Finally- and I do mean finally, we had the wonder of Jazz Elington. So good, just so very, very good indeed. I cried, I packed and I left for the nearest HMV where I have decided to camp until he wins the competition and releases his first album so I can get it as soon as humanly possible. He sounded like the best bits of Stevie Wonder, Luther Vandross and maybe a little Sam Cooke rolled onto one sweet sound and poured over my soul. Jazz is a Gospel singer and a Christian, I am neither, but I do have a real love of black church music and Mr. Elington ticked boxes I never knew I had.

Wouldn’t it have been nice if we could have had Jazz presented to us in another format? One that doesn’t treat us all like idiots and then preach, louder than Jazz ever has I imagine, about how virtuous it is.

For those of you who haven’t spotted it, my rant has begun.

I’ll come onto the ‘Ellington Miracle’ as it’s bound to be tagged but let me first point out what appears to be something of an agenda by The Voice and, therefore, the BBC against people from a musical theatre background.

I’m biased- I know that. I’m connected to MT closely enough to want good things for it albeit not as a performer myself. But even someone who has never known the joy of a twelve quid bottle of warm beer will have spotted a pattern in these shows.

How many times have we seen someone labeled ‘West End’ like it was leprosy? Poor Ben Lake was, like those before him, built up to be knocked down. He sang well and took his rejection with the humility and grace of a real professional but when Indie and Pixie, a pair of giggling girls that looked like ‘Two Shoes’ had met the devil at some crossroads and swapped their talent for looks, came on and sang badly, and I mean badly, they were rewarded by ALL FOUR coaches!

I’m starting to think that the secret formula to success on this show is to be as far removed from ‘The West End’ as possible.

Next year I’m going to apply and say, “I’ve never heard of musicals, or even theatres… In fact my entire family were killed by Andrew Lloyd Webber on roller skates and my musical background is… East… Beginning!” Then go on with eight mates or so and sing a black-eyed-peas medley wearing lycra leggings, a black blazer and shirt and a bouffant hairdo. That should cover it.

Will.I.Wont.I said ‘dope’ I said, ‘no shit!’ Danny said he was waiting for something really unusual to hit him, I looked for my penguin wrapped in tinsel and took aim.

It’s ok, crap gets through, I can live with that. It’s a TV show, not open heart surgery. I should relax and let bygones be bygones. It’s just entertainment isn’t it? Well, not according to the BBC.
Fast forward to the arrival, on stage, of Daniel Walker. Who’s he? He’s the poor sap with the dreads and the pregnant wife who went on before Jazz and never stood a chance.

Here’s why.

Everyone has their ten and Bill.a.rickey still has one spot to fill. There are two people left to perform and, even if this were completely open and fair with no set-up involved there would be only two options:

Daniel doesn’t get picked so we see who is last. Or, Daniel gets picked and Jazz gets told, “sorry mate but everyone’s got ten now so there’s no point in you going on- thanks for coming down though… good luck with the baby and all that.”

It was NEVER going to happen was it? The pure maths of the situation meat that Daniel was never going to be picked or we’d have sat through Jazz singing to four chair backs for no reason at all.
Even worse. Before Jazz even came on he should have been told that he was picked regardless of how he sang because there’s one space that needs to be filled and he’s the only choice. The fact that he was the best thing on the entire series was academic. They could have wheeled a dead budgie in a shoe box onto the stage and Will.a.mena would have had to pick it, so why did he try and convince us his mum is residing somewhere in his pancreas with all that, ‘listen to your gut everyone’ nonsense?

It gets worse- a Lot worse. You know those toe-curling moments when Simon Cowell holds up an arm, like Caesar at the Colosseum, and stops the music about two seconds into a song on BGT? The audience is in awe of his foresight as he asks, ‘what other song have you brought?” and the poor cow on the stage has to keep reminding herself not to say, “the one you told me to Simon” and we’re all supposed to think it’s a natural situation. Don’t you just hate that?

When Jazz finished and Jessie asked, out of the blue of course, “Can I just hear you sing?” I was thinking, ‘that’s a bit of an odd thing to ask but he was very good.’ And I imagined the producers screaming about schedules and the live band looking at each other in disbelief and there being a polite but definite ‘no’.

Instead the producer probably counted the band in with a gentle, “’ordinary people’, just like we rehearsed, in three two, one…” and it all just miraculously happened about as naturally as Gary Barlow turning up at the fake door of the fake house in the studio of Michael Buble’s Christmas special and everyone acting all surprised. “Look everyone, it’s Gary Barlow! Who knew?”

The difference is that Mickey Bubbles did it with a twinkle in his eye and a tongue in his cheek and even Simon Cowell doesn’t expect us to believe his little charade any more. The BBC tried to convince us that we were all witnessing some kind of spiritual awakening for Steel.I.Span and the coming of the new messiah for everyone else.

What were the chances that the VERY LAST competitor would turn out to be such a great climax to the auditions? Or that he’d be able to telepathically transmit his own version of ‘Ordinary people’ into the minds of a live band with no warning whatsoever? It’s almost as if the producers had seen every competitor sing before these auditions- oh they have, and arranged this from the very beginning! Surely not- this is the BBC!

This entire show has been a smoke screen. People are told what to sing, set up to fail and thrown to the lions- they must be hoping Satan Cowell will jump ship and join the BBC if they do things his way.
Afterwards every judge said Jazz was amazing- and he was. They all bleated about how they wish they could have him in their team because he’s really something amazing. Shame for the 39- sorry 41 as there are two couples in it, previous contestants who sat and saw all the promises of world domination and certain victory dissolve to be replaced with the sad understanding that they were just the warm up act for the Jazz Ellington show. Oh well.

Next week we have face-to-face battles in a stage designed around a boxing ring. Fists may fly, faces will be covered in spittle, grills will be got ‘all up in’.

Very cultured- makes BGT look like the Royal Ballet.

 

The Voice: week 3

Posted on by

Do you ever get the feeling that the world has cocked a formerly deaf ear in your direction? I’m starting to suspect that those savvy telly types at The Voice are listening to tutting head shakers like me and chucking in a few tweaks, albeit too late.
Week three has been something of a turning point.


Sure, we had the usual back story nonsense that destroys all the credibility of the show. We learned, for no reason whatsoever, that Cassius Henry’s kid brother had passed away and that Kate Read’s mother was an internally beautiful inspiration to her. We also saw that young Bill Downs was going to have to postpone his wedding day if he got through- something his fiancé seemed more than happy about, presumably hoping that he’s grow out of his addiction to leather wrist bands before the big day. Most annoying of all was the backstory they pre-climaxed the show with. Poor Tyler James, erstwhile BFF of the talented but troubled junkie Amy Winehouse, made it quite clear that this was for him now, for himself, for his confidence as a singer and songwriter in his own right. Of course we only heard this from Tyler because we couldn’t see his wind-tunnel features thanks to the barrage of Amy pics they decided to thrust at us. You could almost hear the producers screaming, “Look! Amy friggin’ Winehouse everyone!”
Tyler sang about as well as anyone nailed to a plank can be expected to and, once he’d finished waving his little arms about like a dreaming grasshopper, Billiam thanked him for hitting that last note in a falsetto voice because Tom had dropped the word ‘falsetto’ into an earlier comment and it has become the word of the day- it’s all very technical I’m sure.
We also had plenty of clumsy prodding from the voices in the heads of these judges- sorry, ‘coaches,’ like when Cassius, a former TOTP performer, was instantly asked by Bill.y.boy. “What’s been your big, music career… move… to date?” Funny he didn’t ask that of Hanna the cheerleader or Jay the pizza guy isn’t it?
This week, though, there was a lot more for me to enjoy. The coaches were on top form. Any one of them could easily replace the entire panel on BGT and it would constitute a personality upgrade. In the opening credits Tom said, “I wish I had eyes on the back of my head,” and I couldn’t help thinking, “one more nip and tuck session Boyo and you probably will!” Jessie was on fire and so was Will.E.Wonka. Even Danny made me laugh.
I should really temper all this adoration though by saying that being entertaining isn’t really enough for a show of this calibre.
What I’d also like is some insight into the experience and knowledge of these ‘international music gods’ beyond shouting ‘Pick Me!’ and throwing spit bombs across the classroom at the others. This week I thought the elder statesman of the panel gave the most useful critiques which surprised me because I thought he was only there for the sex and only even noticed there was someone singing when they got loud enough to be picked up by his ear trumpet. He told Leanne Mitchel she had a lot of ‘timber’ in her voice which I’m almost certain isn’t Welsh for ‘your singing gives me wood’. He also told Hanna she didn’t ‘over do it’ and advised Bill to work on going in and out of falsetto (take notes everyone). I know it’s not much but at least it’s singing-based commentary from someone who should know.
Elsewhere, Jessie Jay told poor Ruth that there are people who can sing and then there are those who, like her, can ‘SENG!’ Which I can only guess means ‘miss every SENGle note!’ Will.E.Warmer had to explainhis laughter as not being at ‘the girl’ but at ‘Jessie’s state right now’ and I, like him, have no idea what that means.
Other parts of this week’s show were, to be fair, exactly what it claims to be about.
Joelle Moses was outstanding. Alison Brown wasn’t picked in spite of being a MOBO award winner back in 98 and Cris Grixti was able to just come out and sing without his appearance clouding anyone’s judgment. He wasn’t picked but it wasn’t because of his height or his passing resemblance to John Belushi and that, surely, is the point of ‘The Voice’.
I do still, however, have my reservations about this format.
They have decided that each coach will pick ten people for their team and that they must do this at the time they hear them sing. I can see why they would want to do anything if it meant they were seen as different to other talent shows but it just seems to be making life difficult for no reason.
Judges are becoming increasingly hamstrung, forced to hold off picking someone today for fear they may have no room left tomorrow and, vice-versa, as the end of the auditions draws near they might be forced to recruit people much weaker then those let go in earlier rounds because they’re running out of time and need to get to ten.
Imagine a scenario where Danny has seven people and there are only a handful of singers left to see. He’d have to pick everyone- regardless of talent or…what? “Sorry Danny but you only picked eight so you’re not allowed to carry on.” I can’t see that happening.
Even now, in week three, we’re seeing singers being ignored because a coach already has enough like them in their team. The whole thing has become a game of tactics and gambles with Will.I.Ever now trying to force singers onto other teams and, in the case of Alison Brown, everyone saying they were all waiting for Jessie to pick her.
“You’re amazing but I can’t pick you” is no good to a singer who deserves to go through but can’t because the rules have been made up by people more concerned with doing things differently than staying true to the premise of the show. Additional jeopardy and decision-forcing rules work for a game show but that’s meant to be precisely what this isn’t.
The Voice is meant to be a quest for the best singers and, until you’ve heard everyone sing, how can you decide who they are?

 

The Voice. Week 2

Posted on by

This week we saw The Voice settle into it’s boots a bit more and start to look, to me, more like the program it isn’t, but at least a program I can get into.

If you’re going to review a series then not liking it from day one is like deciding to run the London Marathon dragging a sled full of naked women. You know you’re making life hard for yourself and you can’t get away from it so at least turn around and enjoy the view.

That’s what I’ve had to do and I did it by subtly adjusting my definition of the show’s premise. The Voice isn’t about finding the best voice they can. It’s about finding the best act they can develop from just THE VOICE.

So rather than being all about vocal ability and singing skills, it’s just the same as the other shows like X-Factor or American Idol, but the job of the judges is made harder through handicapping.

I still don’t believe it’s fairer, as so many fans have said, because at the end of the day they’re looking for an act- not a voice. So it just means that when they hear, for instance, Matt and Suleen [the fact that they’ve allowed a couple on to sing together in itself destroys the show’s over-stated premise] they might imagine ‘The Carpenters’. When they turn around and see it’s actually ‘The Carpeted’ they’re already committed.

‘Exactly!” I hear you cry- that’s fairer than someone who looks like Leona Lewis getting the spot light even though they’re as flat as Denise Lewis. Yes, it is, except that doesn’t happen does it? If Leona Lewis, who has a better voice than anyone that’s been picked for any of the teams so far, looked like a bull mastiff  in a wind tunnel then I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be the star she is today. To be a real success in their business you need to look as good as you sound if you’re not absolutely incredible at singing.

Now, before anyone throws SUBO at me (again) I understand that, in those very rare exceptions where the combination of massive popular support, a great (not my opinion) voice and the right channel for milking the crap out of every land line in the country come together to create the perfect money-making storm, looks can be ignored.

We haven’t got a Susan or a Leona on here and, lest we all forget, this is the BBC.

Glasgow grannie, and Playmate of the Month 1965 compared to Ms. Boyle, Barbara came on and sang Wild Horses in a blatant attempt at becoming ‘SUBO II- This time you probably would’ but her voice wasn’t earth shattering- good, great in bits even, but not, as Tom Jones of all people put it, “As strong as Aretha.” What was that Tom? Are there two Arethas out there or have you got a relative called Etha who sings in pubs? I was eating a grape at the time, alone. I could have died Tom! Performing the Heimlich maneuver on yourself is nigh on impossible!

As if to make my point far more succinctly than my ramblings ever could, Barbara was followed by Kerry Ellis.

The star of the West End and Broadway and someone who’s face appeared in my mind, and possibly some of yours, when I heard the show’s title for the first time, was next on… and then she wasn’t. Hang on!

We get to  see Kerry talking about risk and then we cut to a shelf stacker called David.

You don’t suppose they might be building us up for a bit of tension do you?

David sang very well. I loved his voice and his version of ‘Man who can’t be moved’ almost stopped me screaming stuff about singing judges songs.

Again, the experience was tainted for me by the insistence on telling us all how he’d quit his job so he too was taking a huge risk. He was stacking shelves not piloting the space shuttle. I know times are hard and even I can’t get a job, but shelf stacking is the kind of career you can afford to take a bit of time off from. ‘You quit your job? No way! You crazy maverick son of a gun! You’ve sweated blood working your way up to ‘frozen foods’ and then turned your back on it all for the chance to sing!’

That’s another thing. Don’t you find it uncanny how they just happen to crowbar the big important question in there? It’s not as blatant as watching someone backstage crying over a broken heart and then walking out to be asked by Simon Cowell, ‘so tell us a little bit about your love life’ completely out of the blue, but when Danny suddenly decided to ask 16 year old Goth Holly how old she was I swear I heard a tiny voice shouting ‘Age! Age! Ask her age! Quick!’ into his earpiece.

Tom said he thought David was a girl, then again he also said he thought Vince Kidd was two people and that Matt and Suleen were one. I don’t mean to be unkind but, looking at them, I thought Vince wasn’t even one and Matt and Suleen were nearer three.

Then Kerry comes on- the VT is all about how nervous she is (in spite of having sold out the Royal Albert Hall).

She goes on, she sings ‘Son of a Preacher Man’. Nobody turned around. Maybe she’d have been better with a Bonnie Tyler number? Tom tells her she’s already made it so it’s no biggie and Billiam tells her she was phenomenal- nothing new there. Then we get an insight into what game we’re watching. Jessie, like a nightclub bouncer, says there’s only ‘ten people’ allowed, and Danny says he’s looking for a specific type of girl singer. Sorry? What?

Afterwards, as we’re growing to understand how the mechanics of the show really work and that these judges are not only hamstrung but forced to gamble and, therefore, make huge mistakes like this, we get to hear Tom telling the viewing public directly something like, “You see? She’s an established star and she didn’t get picked! It just goes to show how tough it is with so many great singers!”

Well it would be if there were Tom but give me Kerry over ALEKS (yes, that’s how he spells it) and I might believe you.

Little Aleks was cheeky and nice enough to listen to but I doubt three seconds is long enough to really judge anyone’s voice and yet Bill was spinning like a top before he’d cleared his throat. Again, the backstory was all about how he’s a bit of a romantic and the ladies love him. Low and behold, he’s got Jessie on stage and he’s trying for a kiss… I really should get those odds through any day now.

Other contestants came and went, as they tend to. The pattern seems to be, if William likes you he pretty much offers you a record deal there and then and a world tour, in spite of the fact that only one act can win. Danny tells everyone he picks that they’re going to win (see above). Jessie, gorgeous and genuinely funny though she is, seems to have her Lycra suppliers on standby in case one of her catch phrases sticks and they can go into print before start of business the next day. As for Tom, well he gets his own little five minute name-drop game with Billy boy played on a loop. It’s now called ‘Jacko Verses Elvis Time’ because I doubt they were mentioned this much when they were alive.

Don’t get me wrong. For every “How come she’s gigging all over the country in pubs and clubs if she’s only sixteen?” I also had a smile on my face. I love the chemistry between the judges. Jessie is like a female Robbie Williams, a natural comic and totally relaxed with an audience. Will.I.AM is also a good laugh. I like his humour. Like I said last week, The BBC have really pulled it out of the bag in picking these four and, to be honest, it’s this that is keeping me hooked.

My fear comes when we see the final teams and realize none of them would make it to the live finals of American Idol and we need the judges to really sell this show. Without the hype-building skills of American networks or even ITV and with the need to maintain a little decorum on behalf of the license fee payers, we might end up with something caught out by its own premise. We shall see.

Too Short and not Very Funny Either, That's Life

Posted on by

I really don’t want to do this. It feels like telling your kids you just don’t love them any more, or stabbing a Labrador in the nose with a cocktail stick… yeah, well maybe not, that but it’s pretty gut-wrenching in any case.

There’s a sketch in ‘Kentucky Fried Movie’ called ‘Rex Kramer- Danger Seeker! We see Rex, a weedy white guy, put a crash helmet on and, after a brave ‘I’m going in’ wave to the camera he stands amongst a gang of big black guys, gambling on a disused railway track. He screams ‘NIGGERS!’ at the top of his voice and then legs it as they chase after him.

I feel like Rex right now. I know that what I’m about to write will not only alienate me from right-minded folk everywhere but will probably get me chased by a righteous lynch mob. Unlike Rex the racist, I’m doing it to someone I love and respect too so the pain is all the sharper. I’m going to do the old ‘plaster removal’ technique and just get the pain over with in one go:
‘Life’s Too Short’ isn’t funny, to me.

Last night I watched the episode that Ricky Gervais had tweeted was the best of the series and included the ‘best thing ever said on TV’ and I thought that I would finally laugh after sitting silently through every episode so far.

I felt like a drunk trying to make himself sick so he can get a decent nights sleep. Head in a toilet bowl, fingers tickling tonsils, desperately trying to get my body to do something it clearly doesn’t want to do and dreading the process but knowing I’ll feel much better after it’s done.

When the episode was over and I still wasn’t purged I wanted to cry.

Here was some brand new comedy from my idol. I’d been waiting for it for ages. I’d clicked on all the tweeted links from the great man himself. I’d laughed heartily at the scene with Liam Neeson trying to break into stand-up (seen in isolation) and ran out to tell all my friends that the new series was going to be superb.

I’m a huge RG fan. I’ve listened to every podcast so many times I can almost recite them from memory. I followed and adored the birth of KP, like Ed Harris in The Truman Show, with love and empathy and huge tears of laughter. I loved Ricky in all his stand-up DVDs and even ‘The 11 O’clock show’ (I always thought Ricky Grover’s ‘Bulla’ was going to be a big hit too) and remember the awkwardness and bravery of his interview technique in the hardly seen Meet Ricky Gervais.

I’ve watched with utter admiration and loyalty everything he’s done, but ‘Life’s Too Short’ makes me feel like an Elvis fan leaving a concert in the early 70’s, knowing he’s just seen his god as a mere mortal- fallible, human and, sadly, just no longer able to do that which he used to shake the world doing with every breath.

Before you remind me of the ratings and, more importantly, the huge success, incredible reviews and general appreciation from genuine fans, I know I’m wrong.

I know it really is funny because everyone tells me it is. My own friends tweet the man himself, knowing full well the odds on a reply, just to tell him how much they’re enjoying it and can’t wait for more. (As do I but on every other subject I can think of) Meanwhile, I’m sitting there every week like a kid who lives next door to a vampire, pressing his bare neck against the castle window and shouting, “Bite me! I’m O-Negative, never eat garlic and I’m a virgin! Why won’t you bite me?”

Warwick Davies is a cracking actor. The opening scene in the last Harry Potter film, where he plays a captured Griphook, is mesmerizing. His pacing is sublime and the menace and regret he builds into the scene is fantastic.

What he’s not so good at is David Brent impressions and that’s mainly what’s asked of him in LTS- well, that and the need to look like he’s genuinely enjoying being ridiculed.
This is where it gets tricky. If RG were ever to read this, or Stephen Merchant of course because he doesn’t get anywhere near enough exposure and all the podcasts allow him to do is subtly reveal his sexual frustration, I’m sure he’d tell me what I’ve been telling his ‘haters’ for years.

He’s NOT a bully, he’s NOT racist, he’s NOT homophobic (bit harder to back up if you listen to the podcasts but I like to ignore patterns and give him the benefit of the doubt) and, most of all, he’s definitely NOT using Warwick Davis as some kind of toy for his amusement and mockery. It’s ironic, It’s satire- it’s bloody fiction!

Is it? I notice Brent wasn’t called Gervais and yet the name chosen for Warwick’s character is…

He posted a clip of him and Warwick (dressed as a frog) sitting on some stairs. It was meant to be a promotional clip for LTS but it was just him making Warwick do stuff and laughing his nuts off at it. He has the manner of a young Louis XIV, presented with a new toy. Walk here, stand there, can you jump up and down little man? If I throw you at a wall will you stick to it? Every time Warwick does as he’s bid, Ricky just points and laughs and looks at us through the lens, and I can’t see, “This is me and my mate having a laugh together,” or even, “we’re in character, as ourselves but definitely still in character.” I can just see, “Look at how ridiculous he looks in this frog suit because he’s a dwarf. What shall I make him do next?” It’s funny to him because Warwick is a dwarf, not because his mate is acting like a fool for laughs. It could be any dwarf. It doesn’t fit with their fictional relationship in LTS (this dwarf is really not our friend and keeps popping in, uninvited) so it comes across as a reflection of their real relationship.

My problem is that where I should see a great pair of mates playing the characters of bully and victim, lord and jester, organ grinder and monkey, to highlight amongst other things the struggles of life as a dwarf- and I must say that LTS has done that for me if nothing else. I just see Warwick going along with it because… well It’s Ricky Gervais and it’s a massive career boost and it will make him globally famous in his own right, and if he were to protest he’d be cutting his nose off to spite his face and seem like an ungrateful killjoy that isn’t brave enough to make himself look a fool for comedy- like Ricky does all the time. See my ugly photos on Twitter? And it’s not exploitation, ask Karl, he’s a grown man, he can always say no.
I get all that but I don’t see it. What I also don’t see is anything original in LTS. The awkwardness in the scenes that made the office so engrossing and that was bolstered by being reflected off the polished surface of A-List Hollywood in ‘Extras’ now looks genuinely awkward- the wrong way. Last night’s appearance by Cat Deeley was pointless, unrealistic and just not very funny. It’s not even saved by Warwick doing his best Brent and looking embarrassed at the camera every three seconds as if to say, ‘Wow! Did you see that boys and girls? That was embarrassing wasn’t it? Did you get the madness of what my assistant just said? Did you? Coz that was it, just then, that was the funny bit and I’m caught up in it and… well, just checking you saw that funny bit just then.” Nor by anybody else’s Brent either. The Clairvoyant was some guy doing a Brent, the accountant is some guy doing a Brent. It’s like the auditions for an am-dram production of ‘The Office’.

As for plot- something so beautifully drawn in the past projects, the whole ‘throwing away the new washing machine’ scene that was telegraphed from the moment we saw that there were two machines but still managed to eat up several minutes of screen time, wouldn’t have made it into ‘Some Mothers Do Have ‘Em’ in the 70s. It was just lazy and predictable and utterly unbelievable. Then there’s Warwick’s supposed insensitivity, which appears out of nowhere and out of character, with his new girlfriend and everyone around him. It’s so utterly stretched beyond panto that it’s no more awkward than seeing Tom hit Jerry in the face with a frying pan.
We still have our Big names of course. There’s Ricky himself, painting himself the bad guy so… you know. ‘Come on Warwick, if I can do it’. The episode with Johnny Depp, which I just didn’t find- well you get the idea, was plastered all over the internet and TV. It felt exactly like Warwick introducing Cat Deeley or Right Said Fred, “look everyone! It’s Johnny Depp! Pretty amazing eh? Johnny Depp everyone! Look!” It looked like an afternoon of poor improv that we all just had to marvel at because it was… Johnny Depp, Yeah, I get it, he’s proper famous and all that.

Where’s Warwick’s payback? When do we get on his side? Where’s that subtlety of The Office? Those silences and that realism? Where’s all the believability gone?

Life’s Too Short is like Gervais and Merchant said, “Right, we’ve done the fake documentary- brilliant. We’ve done real life celebrities playing themselves- check. We’ve also done the old, he’s not really an idiot, he’s a great natural resource and we’re not bullying him because we’re really great mates- loving all that. Let’s just do them all and make the lead a dwarf- they’re funny.”

There’s just no substance and nothing new happening. It’s just like the bits that never made the previous shows have been squashed into a dwarf who has then been told- “the only thing you can bring to this character is your height. Do your best Brent and take it on the chin and we’ll make you a star.”

I’m in a no-win situation here because it’s going great guns and is loved by all and I’m sure I’d get some ‘idiots like this just show me I’m doing it right’ tweet from Ricky if he ever did read this but I have to say as I find, even if it kills me to do so.

Every joke in ‘The Office’ was unexpected. I cringed, I could hardly look, I cried with laughter. As for LTS? Two out of three aint bad- it’s heartbreaking.

Christopher Hitchens Dies: The Best Of The Hitch Remembered.

Posted on by

The Hitch Remembered.

The literary world was far worse off after Christopher Hitchens died today at the age of 62. Hitch died of complications due to oesophagus cancer. A disease that he refereed to as “Something so predictable and banal that it bores even me.”

Salman Rushdie and Nick Cohen lead the tributes on Facebook and Twitter. Frost has collected some of our favourite articles on Hitch, starting with his brother in a moving piece Peter says what he thinks of when “I think of my brother is ‘courage’. By this I don’t mean the lack of fear which some people have, which enables them to do very dangerous or frightening things because they have no idea what it is to be afraid. I mean a courage which overcomes real fear, while actually experiencing it”.

Christopher Hitchens’ brother, Peter, who is a Daily Mail columnist wrote about his brother: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2075133/Christopher-Hitchens-dead-In-Memoriam-courageous-sibling-Peter-Hitchens.html

Vanity Fair, the magazine he wrote for: http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/christopher-hitchens

http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/2001/08/pinochet-milosevic-henry-kissinger-christopher-hitchens/

A good article he wrote.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/fighting_words/2011/01/how_to_make_a_decent_cup_of_tea.html

The BBC

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16212418

On Climate change: http://theidiottracker.blogspot.com/2011/12/christopher-hitchens-on-climate-change.html?utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=Luca

http://www.sabotagetimes.com/people/rip-christopher-hitchens-the-world-is-stupider-without-you/

http://www.tatler.com/news/articles/december-2011/in-memory-of-christopher-hitchens

Francis Wheen, Hitchens friend of 30 years; has written a good article and states that Hitchens was not an alcoholic.

Please add your comments and links below in remembrance of a great man.

photo credit: LA1277