Tag Archives: love

Get a Gold Medal Relationship by Jenni Trent Hughes

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GET A GOLD MEDAL RELATIONSHIP

by Jenni Trent Hughes, relationship expert for eharmony.co.uk

How an athlete prepares for podium success can teach us a lot about how we can strive to find a good relationship, enjoy the experience and deal with any knock-backs along the way. So, with the world’s finest athletes about to take centre stage in London, eHarmony®, the online matchmaker, applies the key traits of sports psychology to help singles achieve dating success.

“There are certain characteristics that athletes share and these are all values and beliefs that can help us not only in relationships but across all elements of our daily life.” Jenni Trent Hughes, relationship expert, eHarmony.co.uk. So whether you’re a novice dater or a relationship pro, put Jenni’s four gold medal winning traits in to action:

1) Confidence – when athletes feel confident, they are more readily able to turn sporting potential into superior performance. If someone like Usain Bolt walks into the stadium feeling threatened by his competitors or imagining all the possible things that might go wrong even he will be unlikely to end up on the podium. Many of us go into relationships holding up the possible negatives, dragging in past disappointments, and then walking straight into the result we’ve expected.

· Relationship tip: Raise your expectations: Winners are winners even before they first win. Date with confidence in yourself and allow future partners a fresh slate when entering a relationship.

2) Stamina – is an essential quality for a championship sportsman or woman, especially in events like the marathon or swimming where you really need to go the distance. Using your energy wisely means you will have enough of it in reserve when you need that little bit extra to achieve success. It’s the same in a relationship. If you’re aiming for a long run you should be prepared to go the distance to gain the best of the rewards.

· Relationship tip: Spend your emotional energy wisely. Avoid unnecessary drama, make love not war – avoid emotionally engaging in trivial matters, and save your energy for bigger matters that truly count.

3) Control – the difference between those that make it to the big league and those that don’t is the unwavering belief that they deserve to be there. They believe they are in command of the situation and have the necessary skills to achieve their desired result.

· Relationship tip: You are in control of you. Don’t fret and worry about what the other person is doing, thinking or saying – you can’t control that. Concentrate on your own behaviour and be responsible for it. Behave in a way that you feel will produce the best results.

4) Perseverance – unexpected stumbling blocks are inevitable for athletes, singles and couples alike. How you react in the face of adversity is often what determines the height your career reaches and it is the same in relationships. Michael Jordan famously said: “I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Be it a sports injury, performance slump or any of the hitches that a relationship may experience, positive thinking techniques aid recovery, keep your attitude on track and keep on the road to the relationship medal podium.

· Relationship tip: Don’t throw in the towel. If you’ve done your homework in advance then ensure you work together to resolve any conflict. You’re a team after all.

“Remember, you deserve to succeed, and while you may not be able to win gold for the 100 metre race you can certainly be a winner in the dating race!” Jenni Trent Hughes, relationship expert, eHarmony.co.uk

Found! The most tight-fisted male daters in the UK

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Frost exposes the most tight-fisted male daters in the UK

Male daters from Bolton are less willing to splash the cash in the search for love, according to FlirtFinder

Mobile dating service FlirtFinder.mobi, has revealed that Bolton boys are the most stingy when it comes to romance. According to the results, they are only happy to pay to respond to one in four messages implying that they would rather keep their wallets tightly sealed.

Based on the 1.2 million conversations that have been initiated by the female members of FlirtFinder, the results revealed that the lads of Llandridnod in Wales reply to over half of the messages that they receive from women, suggesting that they are happy to invest a few pennies in the search for their perfect partner.

 

Tightest daters in UK Most generous daters in UK
1)    Bolton 1)    Llandrindod Wells
2)    Ilford 2)    Telford
3)    Torquay 3)    Halifax
4)    Twickenham 4)    Carisle
5)    Sutton 5)    Dumfries
6)    Harrow 6)    Inverness
7)    Truro 7)    Worcester
8)    Huddersfield 8)    Gloucester
9)    Durham 9)    Taunton
10) Portsmouth 10) Reading

 

Justin Battell, managing director of FlirtFinder says, “When we looked at the differences in how our members use FlirtFinder, we found the areas where the men are most receptive bears no relationship to how affluent that region is.”

“There also doesn’t appear to be any evidence of a north and south divide, or any truth in commonly cited regional stereotypes, as the tightest and most generous areas include towns from all over the UK.”

The results are based on the probability of male members buying a message credit and replying to a woman who has contacted them directly.

FlirtFinder is a pay as you go mobile dating service where members buy credits only when they need them, rather than charging a recurring monthly subscription fee.

For more information on FlirtFinder, or to become a member, please visit: http://www.flirtfinder.mobi/

DATING’S A BORE… THIS MEANS WAR!

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New dating site promises to end awkward silences with action-packed dates

First-daters are tired of awkward silences, boredom and tedious questions, but a new dating site has the answer.

‘Doing Something’ – a new dating site which takes first dates out of the restaurant and into the thick of the action – has teamed up with Twentieth Century Fox to offer singletons action-packed first dates inspired by the hit romantic comedy This Means War, starring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy.

On the back of a new survey of over 1,200 Brits which reveals eight out of ten 16-24 year-old daters are tired of uncomfortable awkward silences, ‘Doing Something are encouraging singletons to sweat it out on the paintball battlefield, trapeze their way to love or take a romantic crash course on the race track, with dates mirroring This Mean’s War’s romantic action sequences.

A third of those surveyed feel that action dates help them lose their inhibitions, and by getting hot and sweaty this breaks down barriers. This increases significantly with the 16-34 age bracket, with just under half agreeing. A quarter of those surveyed feel more likely to go on a second date, having been on an action date over a traditional restaurant date.

Males seem more convinced that an action date will also lead them to enjoy a kiss, with one in every four compared to just over one in ten of females. But not everyone after an action date has just a passionate embrace on their mind, with one in ten males feeling an activity-based date is more likely to lead to sex, five times more than female respondents.

Asked which celebrity they would most want to go on an action-packed date with, the top choices for women were men of action David Beckham, Gerard Butler and Jenson Button. Meanwhile men went for Olympian Jessica Ennis and action chicks Angelia Jolie or Megan Fox.

The number one action date option was theme parks with more than one in four feeling that love is a rollercoaster, whilst one in twenty would prefer hurtling from the sky as a way to get to know someone, choosing tandem skydives.

CEO of Doing Something Matt Janes commented: “Doing Something takes the awkwardness out of dating and moves away from clinical setting of a restaurant meal to something more natural and encourages more spontaneity. Going on an action dates immediately gives those on a first date something in common and takes away the focus from each other.”

This Means War is the hilarious action comedy about a pair of spies (Tom Hardy and Chris Pine) who fall in love with the same woman (Reese Witherspoon) and take their espionage skills too far by spying on her every move to try and get the upper hand.

Using the action dates in the This Means War as inspiration, Doing Something is offering three themed dates:

* Circus Space – a trapeze date is a litmus test in its own right and a sure fire way to work out some early trust issues, just like Lauren and Tuck when they go on a circus date in the film
* Paintballing – show your ability to cope whilst under fire and like Tuck in the film dispel any doubts that this may be a safe choice
* Supercar – go for the shared adrenaline experience, picking from a choice of thoroughbred Ferraris, track inspired Porsches, iconic Caterhams and desirable Lamborghinis, mirroring the film’s final car chase

https://www.doingsomething.co.uk/we-heart-london/this-means-war/

Top 5 male and female celebrities public would take on action dates:

Guys

· David Beckham

· Gerard Butler

· Jason Statham

· Jenson Button

· Harry Styles

Females

· Jessica Ennis

· Cheryl Cole

· Tulisa Contostavlos

· Angelina Jolie

· Megan Fox

How Dating has Changed Since The 1950s

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HOW HAS DATING CHANGED SINCE PRINCESS ELIZABETH FIRST “STEPPED OUT” WITH HER DASHING PHILIP?

Relationship site eHarmony tells Frost Magazine about the similarities and differences between dating in the 1950s and the 2010s

 

In less than a week’s time Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip will stand side by side as the nation celebrates her sixty year reign. But how did the young Princess know when she first met her dashing Duke that he was to be her life partner? Were the customs of courtship in the 1940s and 1950s more successful in bringing lifelong couples together? To celebrate this Diamond Jubilee, relationship site eHarmony reviews how young couples met and dated sixty years ago and compares the advice given then, to our contemporary words of wisdom. And which makes more sense? You decide.

 

Dating in the 1950s

Dating in the 2010s
Men did the asking

It was always the man who proposed a date. It was not polite or acceptable for women to suggest an evening out together. With no answer machines or text messages in existence women would have to wait for a knock at the door or a telephone call. Men frequently ask

Whilst it’s still traditional for a man to ask, today women can and often do ask men on dates. For online daters many first dates are organised through email, text and by phone, this allows us all to have a bit more courage to ask .A date was a date

In the 40s and 50s, there was no confusion about what a date meant to either party. It was rare for men and women to be just friends. So if a man called a woman and asked her to dinner, he certainly had romance on his mind. Is this a date?

Men and women are now often friends, and can stay friends without any romantic involvement, even once a relationship comes to an end.  So inviting someone to a pub or restaurant or accepting such invitation is no longer a certain hint at romantic intentions. Timing was everything

Notice was absolutely necessary for a date in polite society. At least two or three days’ notice was required for a lady’s diary and times to collect and return your young lady were critical. Competing for time

Modern daters are busy with their lives, and if they’re not around when the phone rings, it is acceptable to call back when convenient or to arrange a second date through a text or email. Respond immediately to your date invitation

If a lady was lucky enough to be asked out, it was her duty to respond immediately and of course with absolute politeness. Appearing too keen

Modern day dating seems to be more like a power battle. If a man asks, a woman cannot appear too keen. And yet, respond late and she risks appearing disinterested, particularly if the dater is communicating with other online matches. Always be on time

There’s no such thing as fashionably late; ladies must be ready when their date arrived. Always be on time

Today it is still considered rude to keep your date waiting for any longer than 5 minutes. Particularly if you are meeting in a public place (see below). Collecting your date

When date night arrived, the man would always organise the transportation. He would come to the door to greet his date before taking her to their venue and he always brought her safely home to her family. Meeting in public is a good idea

Unlike the traditional custom of collecting and being collected, today it is more common to make your own way to the first date and is sensible to meet in a public place. This takes away any fear and ensures safety until you get to know your date a little more. Introducing your date to your parents on a first date

When a man collected his young lady, it was customary for her to introduce him to her parents who would want to approve that he was suitable for their daughter. Introducing your date to family and friends means it’s serious

For many modern day daters, busy with work, life and possibly kids, introducing a partner to parents or family is more likely to happen once the dating phase is close or into the ‘relationship’ phase. Men always ordered

When dining out, the young lady should always tell her male friend what she would like before he orders for her.I know what I want

Today, it is unheard of to expect your date to order for you. Women know what they want and will ask for it.Men always paid

When the bill arrived, the man would always pay. It was unthinkable for a woman to offer any money.The payment dilemma

Many men still feel that they should pick up the bill, but paying is a tricky issue. Sometimes women are insulted at the implication they can’t take care of themselves. For some men, traditional notions are outdated. It is polite to always offer to “Go Dutch” but to accept if the other party then insists that he or she should pay.

 

 

Jenni Trent Hughes, Relationship Expert for eHarmony believes the dating process holds a mirror to the society of the time. She says: “In the 40s and 50s, the family unit was strong and often men and women in their twenties were still living at home with their families. Communities were close and approval was of paramount importance. Politeness and reference was a critical part of the dating process. Today our society is more fractured. We move away from home for work or college and both men and women are juggling busy lives and demands on their time. We meet more as equals and must make our own decisions. It’s fast paced and exciting but not without its etiquette protocols entirely.”

 

For more information on how to make the most of the dating experience, check out eHarmony’s Dating Advice site at: http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/dating

 

CANNES 2012 PREVIEW

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The most prestigious and coveted film festival on the planet is upon us as filmmakers, stars and journalists descend on the southern French seaside resort to view and critique some of the most anticipated films of the year. Of course I cannot be going myself; the rigour of the festival is said to drive even the most dedicated of film journalists to the edge let alone a beginner. But I can definitely cast my eye over the selection and pick ten of them that have caught my and other cinefiles eyes. Some of these have confirmed UK release dates, others do not. Either way the calibre of these titles should see them generating plenty of buzz before their arrival on these shores.

MOONRISE KINGDOM

The seventh feature from the king of idiosyncratic American indie cinema Wes Anderson is a period piece set in the mid sixties following two runaway teenagers in love and the haphazard search party that sets out after them. Anderson stalwarts Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman are joined by newcomers Bruce Willis, Edward Norton and Frances McDormand to name a few. Anderson’s exceptionally detailed, designed and witty directorial style may not be to all tastes but for fans of his work this is set to tick all the boxes.

LOVE

Austrian master of discomfort Michael Haneke returns to France for a tale of a couple who must care for the wife’s elderly parents. French acting legend Isabelle Huppert appears alongside William Shimmel of the magnificent Certified Copy in what would appear to be a more gentle approach for Haneke. Those familiar with his work however, will be prepared for terrible things to happen.

KILLING THEM SOFTLY

The Assassination of Jesse James was one of the most criminally underrated films of recent years so hopes are high for director Andrew Dominik and star Brad Pitt’s reunion in this gritty crime thriller about an underworld investigation into a card game heist co starring Sam Shepard, Richard Jenkins, James Gandolfini and Ray Liotta. Pitt appeared in last year’s big Cannes winner The Tree Of Life. Can he make it two in a row?

COSMOPOLIS

Robert Pattinson has the hearts of millions of Twilight fans and now we find out if he can win critical acclaim in Canadian maestro David Cronenberg’s twisted thriller about a young elitist yuppie travelling across New York City for a designer haircut and getting caught up in a dystopian, cultural revolution. Imagine a science-fiction take on American Psycho.

GRANDMASTERS

Wong Kar- wai has had glory at Cannes before with his visually lush and unconventional takes on traditional genre features with In The Mood For Love and Chungking Express. Now he turns his fine eye to a classic martial arts tale (based on the Ip Man series) with Asian superstar Tony Leung pulling all the moves.

RUST AND BONE

Jacques Audiard is known for his poetic yet brutal dramas such as A Prophet and The Beat My Heart Skipped. Hopes are high for this dramatic tale of a marine park worker crippled in an accident who finds solace with an immigrant bouncer. The magnificent Marion Cotillard plays the lead and after being sadly relegated in recent American roles she may have to clear space next to her first Oscar for La Vie En Rose…

LIKE SOMEONE IN LOVE

Abbas Kiarostami is a master of blurring the line between fiction and cinematic construct and recently had glory at Cannes with Certified Copy. Here he heads to Japan, focusing on the relationship between an aging academic and a student side-lining as a prostitute. Whatever the context of their relationship the director’s previous work dictates that appearances can be deceiving.

ON THE ROAD

Jack Kerouac’s seminal road journey novel has been rolling around studios for years and now Walter Salles of the excellent road movie The Motorcycle Diaries turns his attention to the tale of two young men making their way across fifties America. Sam Riley of the the brilliant Control appears alongside Kirsten Stewart, Kirsten Dunst, Viggo Mortensen, Elisabeth Moss and Steve Buscemi. For the cast alone this is a must see.

LAWLESS

Reminiscent of his gritty western The Proposition, Australian director John Hillcot’s latest is another tale of outlaw brothers (here in prohibition era America) whose familial bonds are pushed to the limit by the pursuing lawmen and each other. Again this is a stellar cast; Tom Hardy, Guy Pearce, Jessica Chastain and Gary Oldman to name just a few.

THE ANGEL’S SHARE

Britain’s poet of the people Ken Loach is another Cannes stalwart and this appears to balance the mix between gentle humour and gritty realism of his previous work and concerns a young tearaway who finds a chance at redemption and success in the surprisingly sophisticated world of whisky brewing and selling.

The Cannes Film Festival runs from 16 May to 27 May.

How to Have a Successful Date

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What Makes A Successful Date?

eHarmony.co.uk reveals the Great Date Indicators (GDI) that switch us “on” and “off” to a potential mate

Based on communication habits of thousands of British singles, relationship site eHarmony releases six key indicators that can increase your dating potential.

Laughing at certain jokes, having a passion for vegetarian food or playing the guitar may sound harmless enough but according to analysis of millions of connections on relationship site eHarmony®, certain hobbies and habits definitely affect a single’s potential with the opposite sex.

Whilst studying how compatible singles connect and communicate on eHarmony.co.uk, computational scientists have found a series of indicators that impact attraction and connection online. Although two people can be incredibly compatible, the Great Date Indicators (GDI), as eHarmony scientists call them, provide an additional layer to determine whether two people will click when they meet in person. They reveal that:


1. We don’t like people with the same sense of humour

Far from seeking out someone with the same sense of humour as ourselves, the GDI show that online, we will often choose to connect with people who have a very different sense of humour to our own. For example, men with dark or political humour are often attracted to women with slapstick, wisecracking humour.

2. Traditional gender types have a big part to play in our attraction to a partner

Even though we live in an open and liberated society, men and women who conform to gender stereotypes receive more interest online. For example, fewer women communicate with men who enjoy feminine pursuits (like shopping) whilst fewer men communicate with women who seem to be in a position of authority. Also, men care less about the income potential of a woman only if she earns less than they do.

3. Spending habits influence the dating potential for women online

How much a woman spends or saves may impact her dating potential online. Women who spend freely view many profiles but do not communicate often. eHarmony scientists term this the “window shopping effect”. More men will talk to a woman who saves, whilst fewer men will talk to a woman who says she spends freely. The exception is that men who spend freely will talk to women who spend freely – surely a recipe for an empty joint bank account.

4. The universal appeal of yoga

Stretching and bending is THE most popular form of exercise in terms of appeal to the opposite sex whether you’re a man or a woman. Regardless of gender, men and women who mention yoga in their profiles receive significantly more communication than those who don’t.


5. We all want active partners – even if we’re a couch potato

Most people search out and connect with people who have active lifestyles. It is very appealing to the opposite sex. Be warned if you sit in front of the TV. Couch potatoes are universally unappealing, even to other couch potatoes.


6. A varied palate is appealing to the opposite sex

A varied diet and openness to try new foods is appealing to the opposite sex but a McDonalds habit could seriously damage your dating potential. Enjoying fast food is a big turn off to other singles, even if they’re fast food eaters themselves. And being a vegetarian is definitely a big attraction for other vegetarians online.

As part of the patented scientific match making process, eHarmony members complete a relationship questionnaire where they are asked to record their passions, interests, likes and dislikes. Since its launch in the UK, eHarmony has been building a comprehensive picture of the personalities and habits of the two million singles who have completed the questionnaire. Then using Compatibility Matching System® quantitative analysis models, eHarmony’s computational science team search for trends in how members decipher the profiles of matches and connect with them online.

Joseph Essas, Chief Technology Officer at eHarmony says:

Meeting singles you’re going to have chemistry with is what makes dating exciting, and even more importantly, worth investing time and energy in. In any given day there are millions of communications taking place on eHarmony. By analysing all of these interactions we’re able to learn what behaviours and hobbies can make sparks fly between our singles and provide them with matches that are even more tailored for them.

Get Your Flirt On.

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Office Attraction
Get your office flirt on…

According to new research revealed today, the office is the best environment to flirt in. Bars may be geared up for romance to flourish but the British public prefer to attract the opposite sex over the photocopier rather than over a drink.

Echoing the relationship of Dawn and Tim in The Office, the report, commissioned by Lynx, to mark the launch of Attract ‘For Him’ and ‘For Her’ fragrance, has found 37 percent of Brits use the work place to flirt compared with only 25 percent giving off amorous signals in bars and clubs.

Surprisingly usually reserved Brits were comfortable scouting for love in the supermarket, on the street or even public transport. It seems that attraction can strike us anywhere and the public are more than happy to act on it.

Top 5 Flirting Hotspots

Work – 37%
Bar or Club – 25%
Supermarket – 10%
On the Street – 8%
Public Transport – 4%

Flirting has become a weapon of love throughout the UK with men doing it 348 times a year and women making eyes at the opposite sex on 182 occasions.

Northerners have come out on top as the biggest culprits with 46 percent of people from Northern Ireland admitting to flirting at work, closely followed by North Easterners (45%) and Scots (42%).

On the opposite side of the scale, Londoners are more reserved in the work place (22%) and the majority choose to get amorous in night clubs (38%).

Kieran Danaher, Lynx Brand Manager at Unilever UK, said: “Men and women find it easier to flirt at work as they can read each other’s body language and interact closely with each other. Unlike bars and clubs the office allows us to use all our senses in order to attract the object of our affection. We can clearly see, hear and smell each other in the office”.

The Lynx report found that Brits adventurous nature to flirting in everyday environments extends to their attitude to getting intimate with each other. When the flirting works out and peoples attraction starts heating up Brits our comfortable going alfresco to get sexy.

A whopping 54 per cent have been intimate in their cars and 31 per cent have taken to the garden to take their intimacy to the next level.

The top 5 places men and women get intimate are:

The Car – 54%
The Garden – 31%
In a Club – 20%
Parents Bedroom – 17%
The Pub – 16%

Kieran Danaher, said “There seems to be an attraction epidemic in the UK. Inhibitions around flirting and public displays of affection (PDAs) have dissipated”.

New Lynx Attract For Him and For Her is available now.

BOYS BEWARE – 200,000 WOMEN ARE READY TO POP THE QUESTION!

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Over half (56%) of men who are in a relationship might say yes
A fifth of women (22%) in a relationship would consider proposing on a leap year

The ancient tradition that women can propose to ‘the one’ on the 29th February has historically led to men having sleepless nights as the date approaches. According to Opinium Research, 2012 should be no different.

This year a staggering 200,000 women are swallowing their fears and planning to take the leap! And while an inspiring number of women are gearing up to raise that all-important question, men who are not asked today should not breathe a sigh of relief quite yet. A fifth of women (22%) said they would definitely consider asking those four little words when a leap year comes around in the future.

When men were asked if they would accept their girlfriend’s proposal, only 14% said they would turn it down (believing that they themselves should pop the question), while 56% of men would consider accepting their partner’s proposal.

James Endersby, managing director of Opinium Research, commented: “Those crucial four words “Will you marry me?” are usually uttered by men but this year it seems that brave women across the country will encourage that convention to change and are wearing the trousers in their relationship instead. Hot on the heels of Valentine’s Day this opportunity only rolls around once every four years, so to all those women out there planning to pop the question – good luck!”