MumsThread: On a Mother’s Love

Posted on October 25, 2016 by Catherine Balavage

It terrifies me how much I love my son. It is overwhelming. A feeling so powerful that sometimes it makes me nauseas. It makes me both weak and strong. Fearless and scared. It is something I never expected because it is so pure. There is nothing I don’t love about my son. He is perfect in every way. From his soft hair to the tip of his toes. I love him so much I would give him a kidney. I would take a bullet for my son. Hell, I would even help him bury a body. There are no limits. And god help anyone who ever tries to hurt him.

This isn’t to say I have never felt love before, or that I don’t love my husband just as much, it’s just that your love for your child feels different. I think it is because they are so dependent on you. Or maybe it’s their innocence. When I was pregnant I loved this little bean growing inside me of course, but I hadn’t met him yet. I was so thrilled to be pregnant that I kept expecting someone to pinch me and say that it wasn’t real. Then the birth was so traumatic we weren’t sure he was going to make it.

I still remember the first time I saw my son. I couldn’t believe it. The midwife brought him to me and laid him on my chest. I cried. Tears of pure happiness and relief. It was the best moment of my life. I know it sounds strange that you can be pregnant for over 41 weeks (seriously, get out!) and not believe that you are lucky enough to have your own son. When he was born my husband and I felt the same; we just couldn’t believe he was real. He is 18-months old now and we still count our blessings everyday. He is the best thing that happened to us. He is everything. He is our son.

Melobaby Melotote Changing Bag Review

Posted on October 19, 2016 by Catherine Balavage

The Melobaby Melotote really caught my eye when I saw it. It has a great, unique design. But that was not all. It seemed to have lots of compartments and a separate bag for the milk bottle. So did it live up to expectations? I have reviewed a lot of parenting bags and I can say that the Melotote is my favourite. It is almost impossible to not be organised with this bag. It has the perviously mentioned separate bag for the milk bottle which is insulated. The two compartments at either side are also insulated for drinks and snacks. The nappy mat is great, coming in a plastic bag which can also take some nappies. It has a beautiful soft fleece on one side and a washable fabric on the other. I love it. The bag is also designed that so when it is on the floor all of the compartments stay upright and in place. Brilliant.

The bag also has some zipped compartments on the outside, very handy. It comes with a strap, two handles, and two small straps which allow it to fit onto any pram. My only gripe is that the clip on the strap had to be pushed back when it came out.

This is a great bag which takes a lot of the stress out of parenting. You cannot underestimate the importance of a good changing bag. You don’t want to get flustered looking for things. I give this bag full marks. Smart functional design which also looks great. What more could you want?

Super stylish and extremely practical, the award winning MELOTOTE is the changing bag parents won’t want to live without. Its sophisticated, good-looking design means it will be used long after baby is out of nappies!

Perfect for days out, this top quality changing bag has been specially designed to be lightweight, and offers easy access with all the right pockets in all the right places. It features two interior insulated pockets for bottles, drinks and snacks, a large internal full length padded compartment for everyday essentials, two external pockets and two external zipped pouches to keep all mum and dad’s essentials safe. Belongings can be spotted and accessed quickly and the bag’s structured design keeps it upright when placed on the ground.

The MELOTOTE comes with a washable, super-soft fleece mat which is wipe-able on one side, and stored in its own handy carry pack which can also hold nappies. An insulated bottle bag in matching,easy-clean fabric is also included. Parents can use the bag’s adjustable shoulder strap or the easy carry tote handles, plus the handy stroller straps enable the bag to hang neatly from any pushchair.

New to the collection of fabric designs is the smart Chevron Grey, or parents can choose from Black, Love Navy or Love Black & White. Priced at £75, the MELOTOTE is an exceptional changing bag at a great value price.

Here’s a mum’s view on the MELOTOTE. Debbie has considerable experience in the nursery industry and has been trying out the MELOTOTE recently for the first time with her two children:

“As I have been in the nursery industry for 16 years and have two small children I have been lucky enough to try many different changing bags in my time and I can honestly say the MELOTOTE is the best one I have had so far! Not only does it look really sophisticated and sleek but it is so neat as it stores everything in such an organised manner. It allows even the most disorganised mum to be neat and tidy! The wide opening allows you to find everything really quickly and when you throw it on the floor it stays upright and keeps everything inside. You can really feel the quality of the finish and all the additional features, such as the super-soft fleece mat in its own wipeable pouch and the matching bottle bag, make the bag great value for money.”

Stockist: www.maguari.com

MumsThread: No, Women Can Not Have It All By Getting Up An Hour Earlier

Posted on October 18, 2016 by Catherine Balavage

First it was in the papers. Then it was in some magazines. Of course, it was in the Daily Mail. It was sexism and bullshit dressed up as self-help. It said that women can have it all if they just get up an hour earlier. Much like a lot of self help: it was geared towards women to let them know that they weren’t good enough. That they weren’t working hard enough, that nothing they give is enough. Because, ladies, we should all be getting up an hour earlier. The leading story on The Daily Mail earlier today was a group of slim, successful working mothers who all get up at 4am. For quality time, to exercise, to work. Well I have had enough. You know what women really need? More sleep. I already work to 1am most nights, I don’t need to cut off hours at the other end.

Now, getting up earlier isn’t necessarily bad advice, but I take umbrage at it being marketed to working mothers. To any woman actually. Now, nothing happens in a vacuum. This started when author Samantha Ettus claimed to have come up with the formula to living a guilt-free and fulfilling life in her new book The Pie Life. I haven’t read the book, and getting up earlier IS a good way to get more done. But it doesn’t fit everyone and too many publications have taken it and used it as a stick to beat women with. Sleep is important for health, and if you are tired you will be less alert. I get more done when I have had a good nights sleep, I am sure you do too.

The truth is, no one gets to have it all and the bigger truth is that it would take more than an extra hour for me to fit it all in enough to have it all. What working mothers really need is for daddy to help out more. Or a nanny, a cook, and a cleaner. I am not saying that men don’t do their fair share, but I would like articles to point this out more: that a child has two parents and that mum needs a break sometimes. Working smarter is better than working harder. I get hardly any sleep as it is and there is no way in hell I am letting anyone take that away from me. So sleep ladies. Sleep until the baby/toddler/child wakes you up, and if it is a weekend, make sure you hand them over to daddy for an extra 10 minutes.

The Thing That Parents Need To Do For Energy

Posted on October 11, 2016 by Catherine Balavage

Parenting is exhausting. That is hardly news. What is harder is finding ways to get more energy and to feel healthier. You are not going to like it, but I have the answer: exercise. Now it is hard to fit it in and hard to find the motivation, but trust me; it will change your life. Even ten minutes will make a difference. Going for a walk or running with the pram is also an option. Anything you can do at all will make a difference. I have been doing Fitness Blender. It is an amazing website full of free workout from a husband and wife team. It has changed my body shape and made me much healthier. I do level fives now. Not bad as when I originally did their 5 Day Challenge I found it hard and my muscles ached the next day. Now I find it easy. They have a bar at the side which lets you know how many calories you have burned and you can search via type of exercise, calories burned, length, equipment needed or what part of the body you want to focus on. Definitely check it out. A walk is better than nothing, but doing an actual exercise program will change your body and your life. We also have an exercise bike which I use. I can burn 500 calories in an hour on the bike. Not shabby at all.

The other thing that makes a difference is: your diet. I know, you hate me even more now, right? But mainlining on caffeine and sugar is not going to help. Try to eat as well as possible. Stay hydrated. Drink water, eat your five-a-day. I am a much better mother now that I am healthier and have more energy. On the plus side the toddler thinks it is hilarious when I exercise. He giggles so much he falls over or tries to join in. I usually try and do it when he naps or my husband comes home, but we are both so busy I will just fit it in whenever I can. No excuses are allowed. I try to exercise five days a week. Try it yourself, I promise it makes a difference to your energy levels.

What do you think? What do you do for energy?

On Becoming a Mother When Your Own Mother Lives Far Away

Posted on October 4, 2016 by Catherine Balavage

While becoming a mother brings on a tsunami of new emotions, becoming a mother when your own mother lives in another country (or kingdom in my case, I live in London, my mother lives in Scotland), adds a tornado to the mix. I remember walking around The Baby Show while heavily pregnant, trying to bury down the melancholy because it seemed that every other woman was there with her mother.

My mother was there for the birth of my son. Not in the room, but she came down for the week. Unfortunately I was in labour for five of those days and she barely got to see her grandson before she had to head back up to Scotland. He was born in April and she didn’t get to see him again until January and is only seeing him again now, in October. It is slim pickings indeed. It hurts as she misses the milestones. It hurts that she doesn’t see him on a regular basis, get to cuddle him and breathe him in. We FaceTime and that makes a difference, but as the months go by it just isn’t enough.

It has been hard being without my family a lot in my life, but it is so much worse after you have a child. My brother has childcare whenever he needs it, day or night. My mother saw my nephew grow and become the 5-year-old he is today. I missed seeing my nephew grow up. When I saw him after a 6-months or 12-months gap I would not recognise him at first. Such was the incredulousness of this little boy being the baby that was my nephew. My mother even missed my son’t birthday weekend. We both felt that.

I only saw my mother once when I was pregnant and by that time I was six months gone. I had an awful pregnancy and missed having my family around me. I wish I could take my mother to the park with my son, have lunch with her, see him cuddle her and take her by the hand. It has been almost ten years since I moved to London. I always knew the move was permanent, but I was so young getting married and having children didn’t enter my head. Raising your own family so far away from your own can feel like a stake to the heart. I miss my family everyday, but more than that; I miss them seeing my son grow up. I guess the upside is that when we are with them we make the most of it. It is all the sweeter for being rare. It is a small consolation.

Should People Who Don’t Have Children Be Allowed To Tell You How To Raise Yours?

Posted on September 27, 2016 by Catherine Balavage

Before I was married and had children I would always say that people who weren’t married should not give advice to people who are married, and that people who don’t have children, shouldn’t give advice to people who have children. Now that I am married and I have a child I can tell you that my belief has only hardened. I know that is controversial. I know some of you might want to slap me right now. I am worried that some of you may even thing I am coming across a bit Andrea Leadsom. But this is not a smug parenting thing. It is not an us versus them: it is simply the fact that parenting looks very different from the outside, and that unless you have been in the trenches, you have no idea what it is actually like.

There are some anomalies: live-in nannies, childcare professionals and the like. But if you don’t have extensive childcare experience, and you don’t have any children of your own, then don’t tell me how to raise my child. You would be surprised how much this happens. There is one specific person who criticises or makes a negative comment about my son, and how my husband and I are raising him, every time we see them. It takes everything I have to not point out to this person that they have never been around a child in their life and should therefore STFU. It is not even that this person has a point. Each criticism is something they have to seek and is nonsense: a comment on how our son is dressed etc.

General unsolicited advice is infuriating at the best of times, but when it is people telling you how to parent it is especially annoying. Being a parent is hard. There is no day off, no breaks, and certainly no sick days. I once worked on a film, a West End play and organised the launch party for Frost all in one month. It was brutal and relentless, but it was still nothing compared to parenting. To go back to my point about parenting looking different from the outside; before I had a child I would hear a baby crying, or be in a restaurant wondering why people were just letting their children run around. Now, there are still some days where I think what are you doing? (because I am human), but the thing is, that parent has probably done everything they can to stop the crying baby. The parents in the restaurant are just so tired they can’t move. You don’t know what lead up to that point or what that person is feeling. They are not doing nothing, they have already done what they can.

So don’t tell people what there child should be wearing or eating. Don’t tell them to shut their child up. The child has just as much right to be speaking as you do. Don’t be that person rolling your eyes because there is a baby crying on the bus (like I was!), because until you become a parent, you have no idea how hard it is and if you have one of your own you will feel very guilty indeed.

So should people who don’t have children be allowed to tell you how to raise yours? No. I am trying to swear less now I am a mother so I will use an acronym: that person should STFU.

Great Fire of London 350th Anniversary by Margaret Graham

Posted on September 21, 2016 by Margaret Graham

Frost Magazine is always concerned about the safety of children and felt we must share this with our readers. It’s 350 years since the Great Fire of London broke out, and educating our youngsters about fire safety has certainly come a long way since then. It’s so important that children know what to do in an emergency, outside of the home as well as in.

In honour of their 150^th year, the London Fire Brigade (LFB) have teamed up with much-loved toy brand PLAYMOBIL to teach young children about fire safety through play. Free station open days are being held throughout 2016, with limited-edition LFB versions of the PLAYMOBIL fire engine and a catchy sing-a-long fire safety video available to watch and play along at home.

Does your child know what the Brigade can help with outside of the home? LFB have recruited a specialist crew of firefighters to ensure children know who to call when they are in danger with a fun sing-a-long fire safety video, available here: http://bit.ly/PLAYMOBIL_LondonFireBrigade_Video. Why not settle down to watch it with your little ones and play along with our special quiz?1. What is the second emergency our PLAYMOBIL firefighters are called to?

What do the firefighters use to put out the fire at the outdoor campfire?
What catches fire at the PLAYMOBIL castle?
What is the name of the colourful clown last to be rescued by the Brigade from the road accident?

What really happened during the Great Fire of London? Find out how much your budding little heroes really know about what happened during the Great Fire of 1666, with our online quiz here: http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/Flash/great-fire-of-london-quiz.asp

Can you spot the fire hazards? It’s important to teach your children how to spot hazards just as well as you do. Get them started with this interactive game: http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/Flash/EscapePlanningGame.asp

Play firefighter at home: It could help your children to learn what firefighters do if on their next birthday, granny could give them Limited-edition LFB versions of PLAYMOBIL’s fire toys created for little ones to learn through play at home. 10% of proceeds will be donated to the Brigade’s charities of choice.

Toys available to purchase at the LFB open days, online at Kerrison Toys and from PLAYMOBIL customer services.

Top 20 most Stressful Things about Parenthood

Posted on September 1, 2016 by Frostie

The answer to this could be everything. No, we jest. A recent poll of 2,000 parents has revealed the Top 20 most stressful things about parenting. The nightly teeth-cleaning battle, the bedtime routine and the dreaded school run are among the most stressful things about parenthood, a study has found.

The average mum and dad spend almost two hours a day feeling stressed, with trying to keep the house tidy the most common cause.

Others feel the strain at bath time, while trying to get children to behave in public and shopping for new clothes with the youngsters in tow.

Mornings – complete with getting the children out of the door for the school run, persuading them to finish their breakfast and clean their teeth – are the most stressful time of the day, claiming five of the 10 top stresses.

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who has been working with belVita Breakfast to help relieve parents, particularly in the mornings, said: “The stress and challenges of parenting can feel overwhelming – especially when we feel under pressure to get a lot done in a short space of time.

“Morning can be especially challenging and it’s key to develop a positive, convenient routine in the morning as it sets the rhythm for the day.

“When it’s ‘back to school time’, trying to get everything done and leaving the house on time is at its most pressurised so developing strategies that you give you and your family a sense of control is really important.”

The study by belVita Breakfast of 2,000 parents of school-age children, found that staying on top of the house chores is the biggest cause of stress for mums and dads, while getting the children to do their homework and the bedtime routine are also big triggers.

Researchers also found the average parent spends one hour and 48 minutes of each day feeling stressed, with 63 per cent going as far as to say the majority of their stress is parenting related.

Mornings are the worst time of day for parents with the average mum and dad having at least one day a week where they struggle to get out of the front door on time for school and work.

The children taking too long to do things is usually to blame for the family’s lateness, followed by youngsters not doing as they are asked and not getting out of bed.

But as a result of the frantic mornings, one in five parents has dropped the kids off at school after the bell and the same percentage have ended up late for work as a result.

Others have given the children lunch money instead of a lunch box, sent them to school in dirty or un-ironed uniform or with wet hair.

As families prepare for the dreaded ‘back to school’ week, it’s not just kids who bear the brunt of the ‘morning madness’, with over a third of parents forgetting breakfast and 38 per cent having a fight with their partner over who takes on the most in the morning.

Eighty-seven per cent even said they look forward to the weekends when they don’t have to worry about the school run and leaving the house on time.

It also emerged that 66 per cent of parents believe mums bear the brunt of the morning and back to school stress, with half admitting they often argue with their partner about who gets the raw deal.

Top 20 most stressful things about parenthood

1. Keeping the house tidy and the chores up to date

2. Getting the children ready and out of the door in time for school

3. Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays

4. Getting children to do their homework/reading

5. The bedtime routine

6. Getting children to eat certain foods

7. Getting children to clean their teeth

8. Making sure my children are well behaved in public

9. Getting back into a school/morning routine after the school holidays

10. Getting children out of bed in the mornings

11. Meal times

12. The school run

13. Entertaining children on a rainy day

14. Remembering everything they need for school

15. Shopping for new clothes

16. The back to school period

17. Getting children to sleep through the night

18. Getting children to eat their breakfast

19. Juggling your children’s different after school/weekend clubs schedule

20. Getting children dressed in the mornings

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