Tag Archives: the apprentice

IAN WATSON. THIS WEEKS REALITY

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The Voice ReviewIt’s getting to that time isn’t it? Our reality TV avalanche is thundering along merrily, wiping all before it away like a spitty hankie on an ice cream covered toddler.
The problem is… like that toddler, we were enjoying that ice cream and having it replaced with parental gob whether we want it or not can be a bit distressing.

I don’t watch TOWIE, or MIC or GS because, well, I just can’t. It’s a physical reaction like when my sphincter tries to run up inside my body and hide behind my kidneys when I watch Embarrassing Bodies. My reaction to watching the semi-real but still nut-crushingly mundane lives of ‘some people’ gets me so angry I nearly ate my own chin when a BAFTA- that’s right a f*****G BAFTA! Was handed out to these vacant lots in the name of entertainment.

I can’t live with that level of anger in my life. That’s how wars start.

I can watch EB, albeit lying like an ironing board and peering through the fingers of one hand, because it’s incredibly educational, gripping and necessary. A frank program about medical taboos is long overdue and I applaud the makers and those brave enough to get their hair and make-up done and wave at the kids down the lens just before it pulls focus on their knotted labia. I can just imagine the conversation when they return to an angry child who believed a close-up of their mothers cervix was a once-in-a-lifetime deal.

I can of course, watch talent shows.

Presently we have, BGT, The Voice and The Apprentice. I’m putting the latter in the list of ‘talent’ because it stopped being anything to do with serious business about eight seconds after the first candidate spoke at the start of series two. Now it’s all about who can be the biggest moron and prove, beyond any doubt at all, that the ability to proclaim yourself almost god-like is so easy even a halfwit who can’t do basic sums can do it as long as they’re wearing a suit.
They talk ‘Branson’, they walk ‘Branston’ (thick, made almost entirely of vegetable matter and, in Luisa’s case, goes down well after a little pork).

So that leaves us with BGT and The Voice- what a choice (poetry comes as standard).

We’re about to head into the live finals of both. Jessie’s hair is about to disappear like the promises of stardom she doles out to everyone and Uncle Tom is, perhaps, finally going to stand up, point at Will and shout, “What is he saying?”
For a while it looked like some musical theatre bods were actually going to get the chance to be voted for by real people but a quiet word on Will’s ear had him yanking the handbrake and sending the clearly better Liam home and illustrating that the only keys he understands are on the keyboard of his ‘autotune-o-gram’ [dope edition].

Over on BGT, or Simon’s private fluffer auditions as it’s veered dangerously towards becoming, we witnessed a scene that took me back to my days of working at a Blackpool nightclub in the 80s. Loads of badly dressed under-aged hopefuls waiting hours just to be sent home… and a couple of drag queens.

So all in all, the search for actual talent seems pretty hopeless. Getting through on BGT is easier than beating Mr. Chips off ‘Catchphrase’ at poker… “Hmmm, he seems to be sitting on a toilet and wearing a crown… I think I’ll fold!” And getting through to the finals of The Voice is easy as long as you sound like you smoke thirty a day and desperately want to be Ed Sheeran or Adelle and have never even hummed the melody to “I Dreamed a Dream.”

BGT live finals start tonight and run every night till it’s all over and Sico Productions can buy another country but we’ll have to endure another 7 shows spread over several weeks before we get to see who will be crowned winner of The Voice and guaranteed anonymity forever more. Could you pick Leanne Mitchel out of a crowd? Nope, me neither.

Oh well, if it all ends up being one big vacuous cloud of hype in the name of ratings at least they’ll be able to walk into any lead role in the West End, aint that right Jessie?

Leo Bancroft Party at The Ivy

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On the 22nd of November I went to The Ivy with the lovely Nadia Gilani for the launch of Leo Bancroft’s accessories range for Tesco. The evening was a lot of fun and Leo has made a brilliant range of accessories. The celebrity hairdresser was joined by Made in Chelsea star Kimberley Garner (who is very friendly and gave me the biggest smile) , Eastenders actress Tanya Franks, the lovely model and presenter Jules Wheeler, cast from The Valleys, entrepreneur Tom Gearing from The Apprentice, and business man Richard Caring.

Check out Leo Bancroft’s haircare at Tesco.

Speed mentoring at the British Library: over 1000 years of business experience in one week

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Speed mentoring at the British Library: over 1000 years of business experience in one week

Monday 14th November – Friday 18th November – British Library

· The British Library’s Business & IP Centre (http://www.bl.uk/bipc/) is to host a series of inspiring and informative events for aspiring entrepreneurs as part of Global Entrepreneurship Week 2011.

· The centrepiece of the week, Question Time for Entrepreneurs (Monday 14 November) offers a rare opportunity for business start-ups to question some of Britain’s top entrepreneurs including Apprentice winner and Founder of the Bright Ideas Trust Tim Campbell and Co-founder and Vice Chairman of Metro Bank, Vernon W. Hill II.

· Introducing a series of ‘speed mentoring’ sessions following different themes over five days ? including Absolute Beginners, IP & Innovation, Women in Business, Marketing Maestros and Make it, Sell it – providing UK entrepreneurs with the inspiration and guidance information they need. In each session, participants will have access to over 100 years worth of business experience from our seasoned entrepreneurs.

Throughout Global Entrepreneurship Week the Business & IP Centre will feature an all-star cast of business experts and seasoned entrepreneurs who will be available to offer advice to any aspiring business. Covering everything from business basics and common mistakes to how to innovate and stay inspired, whilst protecting your ideas, these events will offer users just a sample of the support available through the Centre,

Small businesses can benefit from free access to over £5 million of business and IP information, including thousands of market research reports, giving them access to the same information as a multinational company.

Isabel Oswell, Head of Business and Research Audiences at the British Library, said:

“The Business & IP Centre is proud to be supporting Global Entrepreneurship Week in our role of nurturing entrepreneurial talent and turning fledgling companies into robust businesses. Over 5,000 SMEs have participated in our Global Entrepreneurship Week events programme during the past 5 years and we are looking forward to helping more businesses to prosper and grow through access to some of the best business brains in Britain.”

British Library Global Entrepreneurship Week Events Programme 2011

Inspiring Entrepreneurs – Question Time for Entrepreneurs

British Library Conference Centre

18.00 – 21.00, £10 (£7.50 concessions)

A special evening event will give businesses the opportunity to question some of the most successful and influential people in British business today. Speakers include Emma Bridgewater, Lara Morgan, Vernon W. Hill II and former Apprentice winner Tim Campbell. A networking reception will follow the event.

Find out more and book a ticket here.

Speed mentoring

Each day the Business & IP Centre will be running informal half-day speed mentoring sessions. Participants will have the opportunity to talk to question up to 8 seasoned business experts in an accelerated way in each session to get the advice and information to run their own successful business.

The themes for this year are:

Monday 14th – Absolute Beginners

On Monday, our experts can help advise you on all the basics to ensure success and help you avoid common mistakes.

Tuesday 15th – IP & Innovation

On Tuesday, meet the experts who can help with inspiration for new ideas and new products as well as explain how you protect your ideas.

Wednesday 16th – Women in Business

On Wednesday, meet a whole host of successful female entrepreneurs and experts to inspire you, whatever your business.

Thursday 17th – Marketing Maestros

On Thursday, meet the experts who can tell you how to differentiate yourself from competitors, capitalise on your brand exposure and achieve the maximum return on investment (ROI) from your marketing.

Friday – Make It, Sell It!

On Friday, meet experts who can advise you on how to take your designs to market, protect your ideas and manage the production process and scale. Our experts have particular expertise in the crafts and jewellery sectors.

The sessions run from 10.00am – 13.00pm and 14.00pm – 17.00pm and are free.

Book one half-day session here.

For more information about the Business & IP Centre’s full programme of advice sessions, workshops and events, please visit www.bl.uk/bipc

Apprentice Felicity Jackson Gives Frost the Low-down on ‘Surviving Actors’.

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Felicity Jackson has been known in the acting industry for years now thanks to her awesome Surviving Actors convention. This year she also came to the attention of Alan Sugar, becoming one of his apprentices. She gives us the goss on business, acting and her apprentice experience.

1) What was the idea behind Surviving actors?

Surviving Actors was a initially going to be a recruitment fair for actors to find those “in between” jobs. We then added the two other key areas to the event – Develop and Create. We believe that all three areas are important to a successful career!

2) How did you make surviving actors a success?
Surviving Actors was a success from our first event because I made sure that I spoke to as many actors as I could to form an event that would be useful to all those involved. We also gained support from Fourth Wall Magazine who were a huge help with our website and marketing.

3) The last surviving actors was a resounding success, everyone I knew was there, how does that feel?
It was an incredible feeling – the event doubled in size, and the response was phenomenal. It definitely inspired me to carry on running my events and to work on what I have already achieved.

4) What is your background?
I went to Drama School to train as an actress which I enjoyed immensely. After graduating I was fortunate to work in a couple of tours, and also did various “in between jobs” which is where I gained a lot of my contacts that I share with the Surviving Actors visitors. I then came up with the idea to set up my own business, and now that is what I do full time!

5) What is the most important thing you have learned in business?
I’ve learnt that in order to maintain a successful business you must build good relationships with other similar companies who are the same stages – you really can help each other out!

6) What is the most important thing an actor can do to help their career?
I believe that planning for those ” in between ” times is extremely important – finding well paid work that utilises your acting skills. I also believe in taking chances, putting your own work on and not sitting back and waiting for the phone to ring!

7) How was your Apprentice experience?
Wow – it’s hard to summarise it in just one sentence! It was a crazy and surreal experience, but I loved every second of it! The board room is pretty scary – no amount of auditions can every prepare you for those nerves! I was inspired by the other candidates I worked with, and learnt from all the tasks I was involved in! My favourite point was when we were doing the graphic design for “Ampi Apps” – it was refreshing to use my creative skills!

8) How can companies get involved with Surviving Actors?
Companies can become involved by exhibiting at our next convention in Manchester on July 23rd. It’s a great chance to meet actors who could benefit from the services that they offer. The day is well thought out, and always keeps the actors needs at the fore front of every decision. It’s created by actors, for actors!

9) What’s next?
Well our next event is at Manchester University, Renold Building on July 23rd 2011 – you can register for a free e-ticket here @ http://survivingactors.com/register.html
We are back in London in January 2012!

Thanks Felicity

UK Apprentice Returns Tonight

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The UK Apprentice and Lord Sugar return tonight as 16 new hopefuls vie to be his next apprentice. However this year there’s a twist. Rather than offering the candidates a job with a £100,000 salary, this year the winning candidate will receive £250,000 to invest in their own business.

The first task is to buy and sell fruit and vegetables.

 

Where goes the Sisterhood?

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Every Wednesday, for a few weeks now, I have been in pain. Not through an exercise class, but through watching those awful, bitchyl ‘women’ on the Apprentice. It’s excruciating TV at it’s most excruciating. The embarrassment, the disappointment I have in them; it’s actually almost too much to bear. The women I know do not act like this. The vast majority of them anyway.

Which leads me into the million dollar question: Where goes the sisterhood? I am an actor (They don’t like it when you use actress, I really don’t care), I am also a business women, a writer, a daughter, a friend. I do not have an actual sister. I am over expecting women to give me a hand up in my acting career. In business, maybe. In writing, very probably. I have had advice from other female writers. But the acting? No, there is far too few roles. They put so much pressure on us to be young and thin that it feels like we end up hating each other. The patriarchal society wins again – but only because we let it.

Which is a shame, as I think one of the reasons that I have the luck to be a working actor is because of how I relate to other people. I have given advice to a lot of women wanting to be actors. Both younger and older. Some of them do not even know what Spotlight is. For the non theatrical amongst you, Spotlight is an online directory of actors. Most castings come through it. If you are an actor who is not on Spotlight, success is about nil.

I can’t say I have felt the same back. I mostly feel that the more successful I become, the more other women hate me. Not just jealousy, I hate jealousy but it’s forgivable- No, actual hate. They hate me for being younger than them, thinner or for having a better agent. I did a bit part in a very popular show recently and one of the main actors, a female, incredibly famous, some might say an institution, was so horrendous to me I questioned my life choices. Why spend your life on a film set with assholes? I could be travelling around America, doing aid work, writing a book. But, no, I am having lunch when a millionaire, far more powerful than me, who is trying to get me to move from the seat I am on because she wants to sit there, and then huffs off with her cronies when I refuse. It’s Mean Girls – with middle aged women.

Then there is the younger women, or the ones my age. I went an audition only to see a (now ex) friend. It was the third or fourth time I had seen her at an audition in a few months. She looked horrified as I walked in the door. Loudly exclaimed: ‘Oh, YOU’RE here. You’re at EVERYTHING. ‘ and then stalked off. She then preceded to bitch about me to every other women there. I had no idea what she was saying, but none of them would talk to me. There is a bitter sweet end: I got the part.

All of this reminded of me of a quote that I recently read: ‘With men it’s their enemies that tear them apart, with women it’s their friends.’ It’s depressing because it is largely true. I have a young playing age. I still get cast as teenagers. And nothing is more cruel than a teenage girl. Except maybe an ageing actress.

I was recently told on a film set that: ‘You will not be beautiful forever, you will lose your beauty, everything will leave you, you will have nothing left. You will become just like me.’ by a mad foreign actor. I doubt I will end up like you love, as I am not bitter and full of hate. Thanks anyway.

This is not to bring all women down. I got my start in writing through females. I have had advice and friendship. I have an amazing circle of female friends. But it took until my 20’s for that to happen. And sometimes I learn the worst of them. I grow up amongst men. The women I tend to not get along with are sensitive. The male ego is more fragile, but sometimes it seems that you can’t say anything to a women without her taking it the wrong way. All my female friends are laid back, down to earth, genuine people. I love them dearly. My life would be grey without them. I am aware of my luck.

So what do the women of The Apprentice have to learn? That they are holding themselves back. Melissa Cohen blamed the two men on the boardroom who were ‘picking on her’ for her swift exit. Her lack of self awareness was astounding. She was fired because she deserved to be. Unless women stop fighting with each other, stop being competitive and bringing each other down, this will always be a man’s world. Because, after all, should we really be fighting against sexism and each other?

Catherine Balavage