
The worlds least effective sign. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……
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What did the anonymous spy tell his audience who came to listen to him speak on an unrelated topic?: “I’m a spy”. Now, why on earth would one tell an audience one was a spy, when that is precisely the case, and presumably trying to maintain ones anonymity? Exactly because an audience would not expect a spy to admit one was a spy, and so be fooled by the admission, or at least not register the game at hand at all.
What would you do if you were an Argentine Minister of Economy when you were in the government palace in Buenos Aires, protestors outside wanted to tear your head off for screwing things right up, and you wanted to get out?
A supreme case of such a comedy occurred in December 2001 in Buenos Aires, when Argentinians took to the streets to protest against the current government, and especially against Domingo Cavallo, the Minister of Economy. When the crowd gathered around Cavallo’s building, threatening to storm it, he escaped wearing a mask of himself (sold in disguise shops so that people could mock him by wearing his mask). It thus seems that at least Cavallo did learn something from the widely spread Lacanian (ref: Jacques Lacan, French psychoanalyst and student of Freud) movement in Argentina—the fact that a thing is its own best mask.
This was at a period when Argentine politicians could not even walk around town or be seen in public at all, let alone be seen to buy expensive items from expensive places. The period came to be known as the cooking pot revolution (so called because of the banging of pots in the centre of town by youths and workers dressed in masks).It was in protest at destructive privatisation measures of almost all government owned assets, linking the Argentine peso with the US dollar, lowering import tariffs, and abolishing restrictions on capital flows.
The former president Carlos Menem avoided the capital city altogether, the city mayor Anibal Ibarra shaved off his beard to avoid recognition while Cavallo took to wearing a mask of himself.
Like the spy announcing to a laughing audience that he is a spy, Cavallo took to wearing a mask of his own face (like many other protesters against him) in order to conceal who he really was.
Big Brother, recently, has also learnt that the thing is its own best mask, with the contestant who dressed as a mole, while simultaneously trying to convince other housemates that he wasn’t a mole. And he succeeded. Instead the other housemates voted Yvette, the medical student, who now thinks everyone hates her.
Few of us thought we would see the day when a protest movement in Latin America could be so well imitated, by such popular culture.
I came across Lyn Burgess and her coaching a few years ago through Creative Edge Audio. I was very happy when she said yes to being interviewed for Frost. I find Lyn incredibly inspirational. I hope you do as well.
1) How did you get into personal and business coaching?
I worked for many years in operational roles in the financial services sector and was made redundant from an H R Director’s job. I had outplacement consulting and looked at my skills and my values and out of that came ‘coaching’. I think I always had a coaching philosophy though when I was managing teams of people, I always found I could get them to do what was needed without yielding a big stick – and they’d be quite happy to do it as well. Setting up my own coaching business in 2002 seemed like such an obvious progression, I’m not sure why I hadn’t done it before!
2) Best tip for confidence?
“Fake it till you make it!” It’s good to model someone else who is a confident person – give yourself a ‘confident outfit’ or a lucky pair of knickers. Start off by just ‘pretending’ to be confident for 30 mins each day and experience how it feels. Make sure you have some interaction with other people and see how differently they react to you. Also, create a visualisation of you being/feeling confident. Practice this every day. Also think back to a time when you felt confident so you remember that you can do it and notice what happens in your body. Start little and often and your mind will become the confident person you want to be
3) What do you love about your job?
Pretty much all of it. You won’t ever meet a coach that doesn’t enjoy what they do – they always want to do more, help more people. I love marketing my business, I love networking, I love finding new places to advertise, I love working out how to reach more people, how else I can coach them. I love other people’s success and knowing that because I helped them set some goals and asked them a bunch of questions it really made a difference to their lives and their career. I also love doing presentation and workshops to groups of people. You get some great energy back and participants always learn from other people.
4) Advice for actors?
Be tenacious, get clearly focused on exactly what you want ie. a part in a period drama at the Globe starting in October 2010 paying me £X, rather than “I want a job”. The latter kind of statement is useless, if that’s your idea of a goal then go work in Tesco – there, you have a job. Never give up and be proactive. Just because you have an agent, doesn’t mean you can sit at home and wait for the phone to ring. You can switch on the TV and see that being an actor is not necessarily about being talented. You need to be in the right place at the right time, knowing the right people and not having any hang-ups, or moaning about the industry and telling yourself how tough it is. Network your butt off. It’s much easier to make connections face to face, rather than sitting in a pile of CV’s. Make it easy for casting directors and agents – put yourself in a box to start off with. Once you get well known, then you can diversify, but if you look like a thug and sound like a thug, play thugs.
5) Who is your inspiration?
3 people. One: An old boss of time who saw potential in me and would always say “Lyn, I want you to go and do such and such a job now” and I’d think, ‘I’m not sure I can do that’ – then I went and found that I could do it. Every two years he gave me a different job role to do and it just made me realise that you can do things that you are unsure about. He believed in me and that enabled me to believe in myself. Two: Fiona Harrold – A UK life coach. When I first started my accreditation to become a coach I read her book “Be your own life coach” and I felt so inspired and knew I was on the right path. Three: Tony Robbins – a US life coach. He does the fire walk which I have done – which is actually really easy to do. Check him out on YouTube or read his books, he’s awesome.
6) What’s next?
I feel like this question should be at the end. One of the things that I’ve always wanted to do is to work more with people on a project and within a team of people ie. on a TV programme or on a film. So work with the writers, the producers, the directors and the actors and be part of the production team for whoever needs me. Help with issues of time management, working to budgets, stress management, team dynamics etc. I want people to say in years to come “God, we never make a film/tv programme without a life coach!” It always helps to have someone disassociated from the project to look at it in an impartial way to give those in it another perspective. I also have an idea for a book called “Life, Camera, Action” which uses well known Film quotes to illustrate coaching themes – but I need a writer to write it – then I can develop it into a workshop to take around cinemas in the UK.
7) Tell me about your workshops?
The workshops I run on a monthly basis and they cover 3 main themes. They were born out of doing some advertising when I first started out on Shooting People where I wanted to get into the minds of people in the industry and offered some free coaching in return for completion of a short questionnaire. I had about 90 responses and realised that was a lot of free coaching! So I set up the workshops so that I could coach a whole bunch of people at the same time, rather than one to one. The workshop topics are : Focus, we work around goal setting, looking at what holds you back and create an action plan. Self Belief – on this one we look at limiting beliefs from your past, blast them out of the way and look at confidence building. Networking: where to go, what to say, how to follow up etc etc.
8 ) What is your background?
Financial Services – and by that I mean processing mortgages and secured loans. I also worked in 2 Building Societies. I started as a secretary and then held Managerial roles for years. I have done acting and theatre directing, so I know what it’s like to stand on a stage – which I loved. I always found that I could relate to most people (even if I didn’t like them) so it was always a career that involved interacting with others. Financial services was great because it was fast moving and you had to constantly change and be flexible and I think life is like that too. Every few years you have to reinvent yourself because the landscape keeps changing. I love that, I love taking risks. Too many people try to be a perfectionist and there’s no such thing as perfection, you are striving for something you will never attain. Do something, get a result, tweak it and then do it again!
9) What does your average day consist of?
Variety! Coaching clients which can be via email or telephone. I don’t do much face to face work apart from the workshops. Marketing, twittering, advertising and promoting. Pulling together some ideas for joint workshops. Following up on contacts that I’ve met networking, or recently at Cannes. I never seem to have time to blog frequently enough. But I do promote an 8 Week Makeover Programme that is a very cost effective way of coaching. I also run the events committee for Women in Film and TV, so that usually forms part of my day, checking in with the event producers or organising an event of my own. I email the WFTV office several times a day.
10) What is the hardest part of the job?
Wanting to do everything right now and being impatient. Want to help more people, answer emails, twitter, write newsletters, do my accounts. The hardest part when you first start out is getting to know the difference between empathy and sympathy with a client. I’m good at it now and have developed quite a good sense of emotional detachment. Coaching is always forward focused so it’s my job to keep people ‘in action’ – the hardest part for me is understanding that people move at their own pace – not mine. I sometimes come away from a call thinking “was I any use there? That person is not doing enough” and then two hours later I’ll get a text or an email from the client saying “thanks so much for the sessions, they are always really useful!” So it’s all about perception, and as one of my Magic Quips said: “it might look like I’m doing nothing, but at a cellular level I’m really quite busy”
Buy Carrington on DVD [Product Page]
by Wendy Thomson
The next recipe is an old favourite of mine. I love prawn cocktail. When I was growing up my parents made it for me all the time. It is quick, simple and delicious.
You need: prawns, Heinz tomato ketchup, Heinz salad cream, Lemons, tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, and Worcester sauce.
To make the Marie Rose sauce mix equal parts tomatoes sauce with salad cream. It’s optional but you can add Worcester sauce as well. Just a few drops.
Wash and cut up the tomatoes, cucumber and lettuce. Place in a serving dish. Add the prawns and the sauce you have made. It’s that easy.
I will leave you with the excellent food recipe and not tell you about nearly burning down my kitchen….
I have something controversial to say. I don’t think men lie to women. I think men tell the truth and women lie to themselves. I know because I spent most of my dating life doing it. I have dated men I knew didn’t love me, who just saw it as a bit of fun, but I ignored all the signs because I was in love.
Unfortunately, as a women. We have to work faster than men. We can’t dilly dally in a bad relationship. There is that tick tock of our biological clock. So, with that in mind. Please read the following and if he does not love you. Find someone who does. You deserve it.
Have you met his family and friends? If you haven’t, he is not integrating you into his life. This means he sees you as temporary. Prove him right, and get a better boyfriend.
Does he refer to you as his girlfriend? What does his Facebook status say? If it says nothing, that is fine. He might just be private. If it says ‘single’. He is – so are you.
Does he tell you he doesn’t want to settle down? He isn’t lying and he won’t change his mind. Men tell the truth all the time. Listen. If you are happy for him to be Mr Right-now. That is fine. If you want to get married and settle down asap. Cut and run.
Does he always want space? It is not a good sign if he always wants space. If he wants ‘space’, give it to him. Preferably about, oh, 10 miles between you.
Body language. This is so under-rated. Most communication is not verbal at all. Learn to read your boyfriend. If he is asking cold towards you, ask yourself: ‘ Is he just having a bad time.’ If nothing is going on he may have already emotionally left the relationship. Read Joe Navarro’s book Louder Than Words: Take Your Career from Average to Exceptional with the Hidden Power of Nonverbal Intelligence Joe is an ex- FBI agent. It will save you a lot of time and pain. Not just in your relationship.
Does he look at other women? This is disrespectful. It means he does not care about you, or your feelings. He is also shopping around for other women.
Does he say ‘we’? If not, there is no ‘we’. Harsh but true.
I leave the closing words to Jennifer Garner:’I never had a problem resisting a guy I knew was going to break my heart.’
Anything to add? Comment below or send to frostmagazine@gmail.com
Sports team’s nicknames are very funny, very rarely cool and totally unnecessary. I am a huge rugby fan but supporting my local team has become, since the change of system from domestic to regional rugby, very very difficult. I love our jerseys. I love our stadium. I love our branding. I hate our name.
The Ospreys.
What a shitty name. As far as seabirds go, they’re a bit dull. Quite pretty and live nowhere near Wales. And we named our team after them. Yawn. It doesn’t even have any historical reason. It’s just shite.
But we got off lightly. Stateside, where there is more of a tradition of calling your beloved team something shit, there are a 5 of the best names that just made me piss. With laughter. Not literally. Ugh. Here they are:
Kick-Ass (2010) ***** (5 out of 5)